avoidant problems (semi-hiatus)

By someone with AvPD for people with AvPD. Not a mental health professional, but here if you need support!

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hey guys gals and nonbinary pals! thinking about restarting this blog if ya’ll are interested. what questions do you have about this blog or me in general? -mod Rina

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im leaving this blog eat your vegetables, dont do drugs -joey

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(submission) Looking for good books or articles

I am 51 years old and new to all of this. I first heard the term Avoidant Personality Disorder last week. It all makes sense now. I am realizing why I am so different, why I have no friends and so much more. I can’t afford therapy and don’t feel ready for that yet anyways but I would be grateful if anyone can recommend a good book or article or anything to learn more. I bought a booklet on Amazon but it looks like there is not much information out there. Thanks!

Hi! There aren’t really a lot of resources specifically for AvPD - especially in the form of books. You may be interested in Martin Kantor’s books on AvPD, although I have heard he writes from the perspective as a ‘victimized’ family member more than anything else and seems more concerned about our relatives and friends than, y’know, the actual people who have to deal with having AvPD. Books on cognitive behavioral therapy or dialectical behavioral therapy and general personality disorders (which are often heavily focused on borderline personality disorder) may be cheaper and a better read. If you’re lucky, your local library might have a mental illness section. Hope this helps!

-Joey

[avoidantproblem]

Can I still have avpd if I talk to my FP almost every day?????

Yes, a person with avpd can have safe people; when you’re in contact with your safe person/people your symptoms are less evident/extreme.

-Joey

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Im only 15 can I still have avpd?

If you’ve had the symptoms for at least a year and they affect your daily life, it’s possible. However, because of your age, the hormones that affect your brain and the fact that your brain is not done developing yet, you might not  experience the symptoms in a couple of years, when you’re an adult. I suggest doing some more research, talking to a psychologist and continuing reflecting on your feelings and behaviors to see if they’re still consistent with avpd. 

-Joey

[avoidantproblem]

if im unsure if im actually avpd/in the middle of dx screening is it okay to interact

Yes!

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that avpd feel where you’d rather get a 0 on something than talk to the prof about help or an extension.

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Getting jealous by seeing your friends interact with their friends, but not the hate-type of jealousy, but the kind where you feel like the others are so much better being friends than you are so it seems like your friend doesn’t need or want you anymore and you slowly disappear.

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over-explaining everything because you’re scared of not making sense or people thinking you’re stupid

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someone: *points out i did something wrong*

me: kill me

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when people misgender you:) and you can’t correct them:) because you have avpd:) and you want to die:)

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avoidant problem: being trans and not being able to correct people on pronouns/name

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avoidant problem: coming out of the closet

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hi. so i am really uncomfortable working out in front of other people. i cant go to the gym and i cant do it outside just because it makes me so nervous. there isnt really a place in my house i can effectively work out either. any tips on this? its really bothering me and i have no idea how to deal with it.

Okay so I looked around a little bit here are some things you can do without equipment/a lot of space to move around: crunches, squats, lunges, situps, pushups, high knees, jumping jacks, wall squats, kickbacks, planks, hip raises I see a lot of workout routines around on sites like pinterest so check that out if you want. Remember to hydrate, stretch and rest enough! (Look at me, I'm a workout guru now) -Joey

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avoidant problem: participation grades

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someone: just do <thing i'm avoiding>! believe in yourself me: i have avpd

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2/2 Its affecting my health so much and because I cant go outside much, im now so out of shape that I have pain all over my body, and that might even be something else now too. I only have a few friends and they are all online, most of them I rarely talk to anymore though. Do you know anything that could possibly help me? I just don't know what else to do and im kinda at a dead end now. Is this even normal for people with avpd or am I just faking it?? im sorry

Hi, anonI'm really sorry you're experiencing this. This is a situation that's very severe but can definitely be because of avoidant personality disorder, especially because you mentioned not going outside much and missing school. You're not faking this (neurotypical people/people who have a choice in staying in or going outside/exercising/going to school/making friends don't choose to isolate themselves like this. We (people with avpd) don't get a choice. It's awful). If you have the option to see a psychologist (or if you already do) I'd suggest seeing one and speaking to them about avpd (I think there's something in the faq about approaching a therapist - maybe you could check that out). About exercising - it seems like going to the gym or going running isn't an option for you. There are a lot of quick workout routines you can do at home without any equipment though, maybe you could try something like that (if you want to/can! This is not a requirement for getting better, but if you want to get in shape and are physically able to this can be an option)On the topic of friends - it's hard. It really is. Especially seeing people with their squads can be difficult if you don't have a group of friends like that. If I were you I'd try getting back in touch with your online friends. I don't really have any other advice, I haven't really figured out how to make/keep friends with avpdAnyway, I really hope any of this can help. Let me know if I can do anything for you. (You can also send me a private message @takethattoyourgrave if you wanna talk more in depth) (I'm on mobile right now so I can't put both your asks into one but I did get both of them!)- Joey