AwsomeAlmost

A person just shy of many things. Except perfection, I,m a long way off that mark. And if I'm being honest I haven't seen anything sane in years.

[awesomealmostclevercollectionme]

❗️ 📉 👽 ❗️

- the good wizard

[wizardnuke]

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

[aethersea]

some idiot advisor: I can’t believe his majesty lets his boytoy attend these council meetings, it’s an insult to the noble institutions that uphold our nation, it’s an outrage—

a somewhat smarter advisor: you’re just mad bc he pointed out how dumb your naval attack strategy and no one laughed when you made a mean joke about him

[fieldbears]

Boytoy has gone from a top fighter who was well respected but in constant danger to wearing silks and eating grapes on daises. That fucked up rotator cuff was the best thing to ever happen to him

[mzminola]

Bonus points: at least half the other concubines are experts in assorted fields, the monarch brings them to relevant meetings to both play up a reputation for frivolity, and make sure at least one person there doesn’t have an outside agenda.

[aethersea]

my harem? 

did you mean: my chief strategic advisors

[kitten-kin]

The kingdom is an absolute monarchy but the harem has become a secret meritocracy. The nobles and official advisors kind of side-eye His Majesty because wow some of these consorts must have like…really good personalities. Kings of the past have had their own specific tastes of course; size, shape, age, color, et cetera. More than one ruler has interviewed consorts feet first and Ardwin the Adventurous’s obsession - God rest him - with snuffling armpits like a sow rooting for mushrooms is well known despite never being alluded to in polite company.

The worst part of it is that the new king takes at least part of his harem with him everywhere and it’s so embarrassing. The Counselors of War have never once met with His Divine Majesty without that hulking battle-scarred consort interrupting with muttered growls or scornful snorts. And the Ministers of Finance all flinch at the sight of that fox-faced one, rumored to have been rescued from the gallows because His Augustness took a fancy to his eyes or some such nonsense. General petition days are even worse, with practically the entire harem drifting in and out of the Grand Hall in turns, insouciant and smug like granary cats who know they’ve been given full run of the courtyards and barns.

It’s absolutely infuriating that the kingdom has never before known such a period of peace and prosperity under this ridiculous monarch.

[madilayn]

Tag to this - the biggest secret is the Queen who runs the Kingdom’s spy network. It’s the envy of all the other Kingdoms around, and not a few nobles! Not ALL of the Kingdom’s Diplomats are spies. But many of their servants are. The Queen grew up as a neglected child, and she learned how servants are ignored, but who always know everything that goes on. Many of the spies are like the Queen - beautiful and seemingly vacuous. The sp[ies tend to have great fun, and also work closely with the Concubines

[aethersea]

#everyone is furious when the king picks his bride #a minor princess! of a minor ally! she’s not even that pretty or smart or anything! #but at least when the king marries her he’ll have to get rid of his harem #or at the VERY LEAST stop FLAUNTING them everywhere #if nothing else her family will object to this insult to her honor

#BUT THEN

#somehow she’s befrIENDED THE CONCUBINES

#sometimes they follow HER around!! in public!! 

#the king and queen are  s h a r i n g  t h e  h a r e m

#never has the court been so furious and scandalized all at once #it’s a genuine shock to all of them when ten years later no one has even once tried to overthrow the royal family #(they’re wrong there have been no less than thirty attempted coups twelve of which nearly succeeded) #(but the harem and the spy network are VERY good at their jobs)

[yusaofthedawn]

@thebibliosphere

[shadowlorie]

Misfit

[giflounge]

Obvious attempt at insurance fraud caught on camera

[ysvyri]

‘Pathfinder’ - New personal work. Never done sci-fi before. It’s been fun. Inspired by my game on Mass Effect Andromeda.

[memewhore]

[darkestelemental616]

I ACTUALLY KNOW EXACTLY HOW THIS HAPPENED.

When typing up the instructions, the pharmacist or technician was probably using shorthand in the computer, which automatically translates into text a patient can understand. The shorthand for this would have originally been ‘2 pfs po q4h prn hs’, where ‘prn’ stands for ‘as needed’. And there was a typo, so ‘prn’ became ‘pr’, which stands for ‘per rectum’ (aka rectally). I’ve done this myself on accident with ‘diabetes’ (DIAB) and ‘diarrhea’ (DIA), as well as prn and pr. 

…And that was your medical jargon lesson for the day, kiddies.

[shencomix]

[cayennecrush]

lmaaooooo

[timbllr]

via weheartit

[theproblematicblogger]

[greaser-wolf]

Message me if your interested! ;3 

[greaser-wolf]

Hi everyone! My commissions are open now!

[itscolossal]

Brunch Reimagined in the Style of Five Iconic Artists

[taikova]

“wanted” was a lot

[awesomealmostclevercollectionme]

Title: “The Demon Appears?!”

Walking late at night

Alone

Apart

But that’s fine

I’ll dance in the dark

Let it consume me

Until the demon comes

Startled 

But not scared

I’m far too tired to fear such things

So come

Dance with me

Living darkness

Until the sun comes

I’ll move with all I am

Take my soul

I’m so much more

Too much for you

Dance to my tune demon

Till the sun comes

And burns us all away

Google Search: the demon appears

From article about Furfur on DeliriumsRealm.com

I won’t always know who took or drew the image I choose but I will try to find out and if you know who did please let me know so I can credit them. I’m just putting a random image I find from looking up the word prompt for fun. The image is not supposed to represent anything I wrote. I am just looking up the word, closing my eyes and picking the image my cursor lands on. If it is your image and you don’t want it used just let me know and I will remove it and pick a different one.

[awesomealmostclevercollectionme]

Title: “The machination of the Potter”

I have run this shop for years

Everything in it is mine

My work

My blood and tears

It’s mine 

And you think you can take it from me

That all I can do is make shapes in clay

But I am prepared

The gentle store owner

Weaving silky tales of gratitude

Welcoming you in

The lovely ribbons 

Are slithering ever closer

Closer still

Around your neck

When it’s too late

You will see

They were tentacles all along  

Google Search: The machination of the Potter

I don’t know who took the picture but the vase was made by Grayson Perry

I won’t always know who took or drew the image I choose but I will try to find out and if you know who did please let me know so I can credit them. I’m just putting a random image I find from looking up the word prompt for fun. The image is not supposed to represent anything I wrote. I am just looking up the word, closing my eyes and picking the image my cursor lands on. If it is your image and you don’t want it used just let me know and I will remove it and pick a different one.

[awesomealmostclevercollectionme]

Title: “Licking his finger?!”

Lick

Flip

Lick

Flip

Lick

Flip

Page by page

I would sit and watch

Only watch

What were you reading today

What was your life like

Were you married

Why did you come here every day

Lick 

Flip

Lick

Flip

And then you leave

Google Search: Licking his finger

Image from manga Black Butler by Yana Toboso 

I won’t always know who took or drew the image I choose but I will try to find out and if you know who did please let me know so I can credit them. I’m just putting a random image I find from looking up the word prompt for fun. The image is not supposed to represent anything I wrote. I am just looking up the word, closing my eyes and picking the image my cursor lands on. If it is your image and you don’t want it used just let me know and I will remove it and pick a different one.

[awesomealmostclevercollectionme]

Title: “The case is just beginning?!”

The door was closed 

The lights were on

The stars were out

It was a beautiful night

But it must be said

Red isn’t your color

And now your covered in it

The carpet too

Just soaked

There really is no getting that out

So I’ll leave

But don’t worry

I’ll leave the door open

Google Search: The case is just beginning

I won’t always know who took or drew the image I choose but I will try to find out and if you know who did please let me know so I can credit them. I’m just putting a random image I find from looking up the word prompt for fun. The image is not supposed to represent anything I wrote. I am just looking up the word, closing my eyes and picking the image my cursor lands on. If it is your image and you don’t want it used just let me know and I will remove it and pick a different one.