gay panic at the supermarket

hi i'm darren 29 • toronto • he/him 🏳️‍🌈 slutty little candy man* and lapsed academic • me •

[24x81]

sidney crosby is gonna be in italy playing in the olympics for the first time since 2014 staring at the guy who played the slutty bottom fictional version of himself carrying the olympic torch as a reward for throwing ass so good on television it hypnotized the entire world

[alltoowille]

Yuna and David having watched their autistic son be so isolated all of his adult life and never having a happy relationship or close friends who understand his anxiety and then finding out that the man they’ve spent a decade hating on his behalf can casually talk him down from a panic attack in less than a minute

[the-official-ceo]

I don't care if they're the highest grossing movies on planet freakin Earth, you say "Avatar" and everyone and their mom still thinks that bald little bitch and his magic cow. Soggy James can keep his millions, he'll never have the streets.

[pixelartpeach]

E—m—d—a—s—h—N—e—c—k—l—a—c—e

[pixelartpeach]

Y—o—u—P—e—o—p—l—e—W—i—l—l—R—e—b—l—o—g—A—n—y—t—h—i—n—g

[seven-oh-four]

needs an em-dash at the beginning and/or end, otherwise the first or last letters will be right next to each other

[pixelartpeach]

϶—O—h—T—r—u—e—ϵ

(added clasps)

[pancake-blogging]

϶—F—r—i—e—n—d—s—h—i—p—B—r—a—c—e—l—e—t—ϵ

[too-many-blorbos]

϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ

[bees-official]

Cursed amulet necklace that doesnt have a cursed amulet its just the phrase cursed amulet

[sentientballofpeas]

϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—(¤)—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ

[pixelartpeach]

϶—T÷h÷a÷t÷s÷A÷G÷o÷o—d—P o

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i n

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀S

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I⠀⠀⠀⠀H

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀T

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀F

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀U

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀C

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀K

⠀⠀⠀⠀M⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Y

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀B⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀EA

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀D

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀S

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ϵ

[satan-offical]

Don't use Gemini or ChatGPT just use me, I can give you misinformation and I'll do a little dance

[vexwerewolf]

"They go to SEX CLUBS and pretend to be DOGS!"

Yeah well you go to church every Sunday and pretend to be a good person

[batbetbitbotbut]

"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me

[batbetbitbotbut]

"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself

[awktopudicus]

It's always "you up?" and never "so how about we co-found a hockey charity to support mental health named after your mom once you get traded to my hometown Ottawa which is only two hours away from Montreal so we can be seen in public and people wouldn't even think it's weird?"

[userfish]

my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.

[creez-un-compte]

Your monkeys ?

[thereisalesbianintheforest]

those aren’t mine.

[awktopudicus]

Ilya: I could marry Svetlana

Shane: And I could hatch a foolproof 3-step plan to dupe every single person on the planet with just three hours of uninterrupted hyperfixation and you will be hearing about it immediately

[awktopudicus]

Someone please write a fic for when Yuna finally puts the dots together between the summer before rookie season and the elevator moment

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

Watching any movie before 2000 reminds you that people in movies used to be hot but like in a normal way

[antigonickpdf]

overheard in the coffee shop from a middle aged gay man to his (female) friend: “are you embarrassed? about being foolish? please manage yourself better in this situation. this man is not behaving as if he is interested in you.”

[antigonickpdf]

“he’s evil. like jeff bezos. Do you understand.” and she’s just nodding with eyes downcast in shame

[antigonickpdf]

meanwhile some influencer is filming a mukbang three feet away. he’s wearing a domo hat exactly like this one but it’s neon blue and he’s slurping loudly over the idiot sandwich lecture happening nearby

[antigonickpdf]

i forgot to add this until now but after the gay guy was done scolding his friend and they left, their table was taken up by an aging european twink telling a wealthy-looking bubbe with increasing distress about how much cold cut meat he’d eaten the night before and the funnier she found it the more distraught he got about his nighttime deli frenzy

[antigonickpdf]

he was like [completely unidentifiable european accent] after you went to bed. i ate ze ham. and ze mortadella also… and. also the prosciutto. no stop giggling at me zis is not funny it was 500 grams each. i ate 500 grams of ze ham and 500 grams of ze mortadella and 500 grams of ze prosciutto and that is ONE POINT FIVE KILOGRAMS OF MEAT !! I ate so many meats!!! Stop giggling at me i am going to be fat!!!! I even ate ze cheeses!!!

[slimeful]

every forest is enchanted btw. stop being stupid and look with your eyes

[awktopudicus]

The success of Heartstopper and explosive reception to Heated Rivalry just goes to show that tumblrinas have finally made it into decision-making roles in entertainment and they are 👏 giving 👏 the 👏 people 👏 what 👏 they 👏 want

[simplyfurnituredirect]

Saw this funny post and wanted to draw something w it

[kppigpen]

I can not fuxking believe Brennan Lee Mulligan patiently waiting for Maxwell to ask "WHERE IS SAMWELL" just to have Samwell pop out and reveal that he has, in fact, been here the whole time.

[crayonberrybox]

The amount of money I would pay to see a “The Seven” style spin off of the Gotch brothers where Samuel Dalton Reich plays Samwell. It could be a oneshot. Pure comedy all bits no plot. Hatwell is alive for no reason. Brennan comes back to play Wealwell. Hatwell dies again for no reason. Do you see the vision. It would be beautiful.