Axelthoughts

kpop, random musings

[plain-flavoured-english]

Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.

If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the “correct” feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.

If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.

Be the subject, not the object. It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.

[axelsthoughts]

Real talk, does sfs actually do this? I haven’t encountered anyone so far who praises Haechan at the expense of another member. PLEASE 👏🏻 DON’T 👏🏻 DO 👏🏻 THIS 👏🏻 U 👏🏻 MORONS 👏🏻!

I’m lucky, I guess. All I’ve seen are comments about him being an ✨ace✨and ofc, sfs are gonna brag about him because that’s literally what fans do with their bias. And yes, maybe in some extent, we exaggerate but so what? Like op said, he’s crazy talented.

Altho, I don’t think Haechan will be an “overrated” member any time soon. Yes, he’s pretty well-known within the fandom (thanks to sfs hyping him up) but he’s really not that popular outside of NCT, unlike SuperM boys + Jaehyun & Jaemin. For someone as overworked as him yet still quite underrated in the industry, I’d say he deserves all the overhyping sfs do for him.

[veeaziel]

every day i am percieved™️

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

There is a reason for this though!

The original tweet summarizes it pretty well. Fanfic tends to be popular among certain types of neurodivergent people (aka people most likely to read excessively as a child, and have burnout as an adult) for the same reasons that we tend to hyperfixate–neurochemical signaling (I hope I’m using that phrase correctly). What I mean is, for people who are really dependent on changes in dopamine/serotonin/neurotransmitter levels, who have low levels or wonky neural reward systems (perhaps the most common types of neurodivergence)…people like us rely on dependable external sources of those neurochemicals. In order to function, we spend a lot of our free time trying to level out our brain chemistry using things that can reliably bring us a steady stream of joyful moments (rewards) without costing too much of the mental effort that is already in short supply. 

significantly: the investment of reading has to be balanced with a steady “return on investment”–and this return has to start fairly quickly. because again, we don’t have a lot of attention/energy to invest on tiring things. we have perpetual “low batteries” in that regard.

that doesn’t mean these stories are “simple,” or that they lack complexity or value–only that the reward has to come in short regular intervals, and it has to have a low “upfront cost.” these stories are only “easy” to read in the sense that the effort we put into them is rewarded in a timely manner. which is why fanfic stories are so perfectly formulated for neurodivergent readers–they are often beautifully written, but skip a lot of the upfront costs (of introducing new characters, of world-building, of getting the audience emotionally connected to the story elements).

the nature of fanfiction is that the reader has a pre-existing relationship with this world and these characters. that–combined with the shorter average length of fics–means that fan fics very quickly start rewarding the reader in a way that traditional fiction struggles to. that’s not a bad thing! and maybe it’s something more traditionally published writers should be paying attention to.

Fanfic, as a genre, has been uniquely helpful and accessible to many neurodivergent readers who would otherwise struggle to immerse themselves in stories. I’m glad so many of you have found a way to love and enjoy reading again! The important thing is that you are spending time inside stories you love–the way those stories are published or presented to the world is just one detail. The fact that you find joy in the process of reading (or listening!) to stories–that is what matters.

[iamacolor]

you ever just want to forget something you've read

[axelsthoughts]

Idols aren’t there to fulfill a sad person’s delusions. They’re not your make pretend boyfriends/girlfriends.

They’re supposed to be just a hobby for a fan, something that can make you happy or relieve your stress for a while. Some sort of healing if you will. But they’re not a cure to your loneliness. Maybe instead of hindering idols from thinking of their future and being open about it to his fans, op should just focus on her own.

Your bias is not your property.

[axelsthoughts]

This is too funny 😂😂😂

[axelsthoughts]

Idk why but his 😳 looks so fake to me and his😏 tells me he knew Haechan would choose him.

[axelsthoughts]

We’re apparently getting 127 full album + repackage soon and NCT 2021, which I’m guessing is at least a full album. NCT 2021 will most likely occur near the end of the year, probably around Oct/Nov and then of course, they’ll have year-end award shows.

So my concern is … when exactly will markhyuck be able to rest? It seems like their whole year is fully packed 😲😲🥺🥺

[axelsthoughts]

Your love triangle, ladies and gentlemen 😎😎😎

[axelsthoughts]

Idk what is it with Hello Future that made me tear up lol 😅😅

It’s probably how bright and colorful and fun and youthful it is. Everything about the MV is just magical. I also loved the lyrics. It’s like a pat in the back, like they’re saying we’re in this together and we should look forward to a better tomorrow. It’s like the song movies play at the end of the movies - a triumphant, happy ending, all good vibes type of song. It sounds…hopeful and I guess that’s why it made me kinda emotional 😂😂

Everything about this song and MV is perfect imo, a 1000 out of 10. I honestly can’t believe it’s just for a repackage.

[axelsthoughts]

After buying a house:

“Mark is the type to improve things while Renjun is the type to make sure everything is safe.”

That is a actually the great description of these two.

I just appreciate Boys Mental Camp so much for letting us get to know dreamies in a more deeper level. Not that any of the observations they gave were a surprise anyway but it’s nice to know that what we know from dreamies (e.g. Haechan being quick-witted, Renjun being a sensitive boy that he is, Jaemin and Jeno being good listeners and observants - able to step back to assess situations, - Jisung being a perfectionist, and Mark being the most hardworking 21/22 yr old guy there is) are validated by professionals.

I’m especially grateful that they advised Jisung to just cry when he feels like crying. I’ve noticed that Jisung probably is the most “image”conscious among the dreamies, which is a consequence of his perfectionism, I guess. They’ve even touch upon the fact that Korean men are pressured to bottle up their emotions, but that it’s unhealthy to think this way.

One thing I was surprised to learn was that Renjun is apparently dealing with a mental issue. I was happy to learn tho that he’s doing something about it (i.e. art therapy and seeing a therapist). Tbh, I was kind of disappointed with my astonishment because thinking about it, there were signs. Even Haechan did allude to it during one of their weekly idol guestings. Tho i know it’s not my fault, I still feel bad for not hyping him up more in socmed, for not giving him more words of affirmation.

If there’s one member I developed more love for because of this show, it’d be Jeno. Idk, I just see myself in Jeno and that’s probably why I’m attracted to Haechan and Jaemin’s personalities. I even shed tears when the professor said the bit about how Jeno’s contributions - that it may be inconspicuous but nevertheless, substantial and of great importance to their success as NCT Dream. It ties to one of Jisung’s message to him saying, “Mark may be the stem/trunk but Jeno is the root.”

The only bad thing about this show was Chenle’s absence. He would have definitely enjoyed the games and the advices. I also missed his loud laugh.

[axelsthoughts]

Yeah Mark, you can kill the dinosaur with your cooking! 😂😂😂

[axelsthoughts]

So apparently, there are a lot of knetz scolding Haechan because of that rumor that he’s dating Ryujin.

ARE THEY FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!

One, he reacted surprise and nervous in his live yesterday (his ipad showed that he’s following/listens to itzy) because he knows a lot of people will misconstrue this. So what if he’s following itzy? Maybe they’re friends? Maybe he’s a midzy? I mean, if he is then I’ll probably love him even more (i’m a midzy too) 😍😍

Two, knetz somehow used his reaction as “proof” that they’re dating, with their other baseless evidence such as similar outfits/airpods/phone case=couple things and Ryujin apparently dressing herself up these days 🙄🙄 This is such a STRETCH but I guess they’re really bored during quarantine so u do u bruh

Three, if they’re really dating, SO FUCKING WHAT? 🤨 They’re young, attractive, kind, successful individuals. Do they really think they wouldn’t date? And also, imagine the chaotic energy this “couple” would give. They’re such down-to-earth, chill people, I wouldn’t fault them if they really are attracted to each other (tbh kinda shipping them before, but also jaeminxryujin. I’m just a big ryujin stan! 😆😆)

[axelsthoughts]

Damn, Irreplaceable is 😚🤌🏻

Haechan really be hittin all that runs like Mariah 😆😆

[indigo]

what would you do if you didn’t need to be useful to capitalism just to survive. I think I would be a writer

[axelsthoughts]

Screenwriter 😭😭

[axelsthoughts]

Kinda sad that Markhyuck summer fight video has been debunked.

I mean, some of my fave fanfics are based on that or mentions it 😅😅

[axelsthoughts]

I remember Jeno saying that Mark really is quite sensitive of other’s feelings. He knows when someone is upset just by looking at their eyes.

I kinda got the feeling that Haechan was a little bit upset for placing last (6th or 7th 😂😂) all the time. That’s why he’s trying to placate him 😂😂😂

[axelsthoughts]

I don’t get Haechan’s hair 😑😑 Why? Why that hair? 🤨🤨

Don’t get me wrong. If this were any other day or photoshoot that would’ve been fine and cute, but it doesn’t go with this concept. But that’s just my opinion tho.