𝔞𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢 / 𝔞𝔪𝔬𝔯

"I don't know who i am, or where i'm going, but it's somewhere."

[starlets]

[ayediosmila-blog]

“Yeah, my point exactly. But you know, people are assholes to anyone, even when you’re not a customer service worker, but just the thought of being forced to be nice to them.” She waves a hand at the other girl, dismissing her apology. “Oh there’s no need for that at all. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that happen in person, so I probably would want to– at least once.” She smiled at her, happy to have found another schoolmate. “Oh yeah? What’s your major? I don’t think I’ve really seen you around, then again it’s a big campus, you know.”

” oooh okay, yeah, now i see what you mean. “ mila says, a soft hum under her breath. “ some people are just moody i guess, or just ... shouldn’t be allowed to interact with people. im not sure. “ her shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. “ i think the worst thing is when it happens and no one does anything about it. i’ve been yelled at by customers, and it’s just weird that other people see it and say nothing ? i know if i saw it happening i’d step in. “ she concluded, “ but that’s just me. “ meels laughed it off. “ architecture and sculpture ! “ she answered excitedly since she was majoring in something she loved. “ it could be that, but also i’m a bit of a hermit. i tend to stay inside the studio, or i’m at work - or in classes ... or just studying. “ saying it out loud made it sound like she really had no social life. “ what’s your major ? “

[ayediosmila-blog]

“the fact that you just questioned whether or not i poisoned you is a little heartbreaking, mila,” levi pointed out with an arch of his brow and a tilt of his head. “in fact, you should be thanking me for giving you shit that makes you feel this good.” it was a joke, of course, for levi would forever share with mila regardless of the circumstance. “first you ask if i’m poisioning you and gonna leave you alone for dead and NOW you’re thinking we’re gonna get married? how strong was this shit,” he laughed out, leaning his head back a bit as he closed his eyes. “i’m definitely more of a chandler dude, so unfortunately it looks like the stars won’t align for us there.”

her eyes closed as she felt it turn more into a body high, though her ears were still open as she listened to levi talking. maybe it was because she was stoned but she found it super hilarious that she was just letting out fits of giggles. “ i’m a heart breaker, didn’t you know ? “ she gushed over herself as if it was really a compliment for herself. “ thank you levi for some good shit. “ she gave him his thanks, opening her eyes so she could clap just for him. “ it’s strong ! “ she defended, bursting into laughter that she covered her mouth. “ no way, “ her head shook even if he couldn’t see it. “ i think you’re more joey and rolando is chandler. “ she thought aloud. “ the stars constantly change, levi. “

[ayediosmila-blog]

｡･ﾟ*｡ - reply to @ayediosmila​

Finn couldn’t help but straighten up a little at Mila’s assertiveness - that they would aim for an A+ and nothing less. That’s one of the reasons why he had liked her in the first place - she was determined and wasn’t afraid to be. It almost made him nostalgic for their old talks and jokes, pretending to compete with each other … but you couldn’t turn back time, no matter how much a moment meant to you. He often felt that way about other memories too - like those nights where you don’t expect to have fun and you do - and the feelings they gave you. These days, Finn had been worrying about the things he couldn’t control - the things that lay ahead like graduation and getting a job ( though he didn’t even know if he wanted that right away ). But for a split second, he caught a glimpse of Mila that he hadn’t experienced in a long time and it made him smile. “It’s due in a couple of weeks so I’m thinking we spend a couple of days planning, three days drafting and writing it up and then the rest of it editing and cleaning up - so a week and a bit?” Writing down dates on the corner of his paper, he nodded. “Yeah, I can do that - will I get a discount on coffee? Or … will you be cleaning like you usually are?” Noticing a slow response, he looked up as she asked him an off-topic question. “Are you trying to quote the song from Frozen?” He asked, confused at what was going on - until he finally figured out what she had been looking at. There was snow falling from the sky and in the distance, other students were already out there, screaming in delight. Admittedly, he did fall victim to FOMO sometimes and this was one of those moments. “Unless you weren’t and you meant the snow outside or you meant both of those things - the answer is yes, let’s go,” he said, folding his papers and books as he pushed his chair back, standing up as began to pack things into his bag. “We’ll figure out the assignment later but for now, I’m thinking we scoop up as much snow as possible for the base of the snowman’s body.” 

she knew that the reason for there being an awkward aura around the two was primarily her fault. she won’t deny it. it was all because she broke up with him through text and even she thought it was stupid - stupid enough to feel embarrassed from it to just avoid him altogether, but this was school. mila wasn’t going to let her grades suffer just because of her inability to stick around finn. at the end of the day she had something to prove, that she isn’t just a pretty face, so she’ll suck it up and do her best. it’s not like it was the end of the world. in a normal situation, she’d be thrilled to have been partnered with finn because their work ethic was similar. it was just hard to revert to the way they were when it hasn’t been like that for awhile, even during their relationship it was starting to feel over before it really ended.  “ alright, that sounds good. even if we can’t meet up, we can facetime, skype or something, yeah ? “ she was putting out suggestions and then she sighed. she knew he was shading her for the moments she would avoid him. instead of a response to that, mila decided to ignore it, especially when she was more focused on the white flakes outside. “ what ? “ she asked back and then shook her head with a tiny smile on her features. “ no. unless you forgot, i quite like the snow. “ like was an understatement, mila loved the snow. it meant snow angels, snow men and hot chocolate by the window while a fire was going. even before finn agreed, mila was packing her stuff up, putting on her beanie and getting up from her chair. “ sounds good to me ! “

[ayediosmila-blog]

val’s brown eyes looked intently into mila’s as she took hold of the other’s hands. a small smile sitting on her lips as she listened to the subtle joke. tilting her head back to laugh, she admitted, “you’ve got a point. maybe i have a right to be picky.” her eyebrows rose in interest as mila went on to describe the foreign coffee. “that sounds amazing, but how you are getting coffee from peru?” it was her nice way of asking mila if this was one of her boujee things or not. she then shook her head as she started to chuckle again. “catch me? catch me for what? i have never done anything wrong in my entire life!” she placed a hand over her heart and gasped as if her friend had just accused her of something god awful. but it was all a show to get a laugh out of her, hopefully. “i’ll try. it’s just… it’s hard to feel accomplished when the to-do list is still so long, y’know? but i get it. and thanks meels. you’re the best, truly.”

a smile on her lips as she scoffed out a small puff of air. her head shook as she leaned in closer. “ again, if you weren’t picky, i’d be worried for the customers asking you for coffee suggestions. “ meels said to the other, painting a picture that sounded like a mess she laughed. “ don’t you get imported coffee ? “ she asked, “ we’ve got beans from colombia too, and couple places in africa. “ to mila, this wasn’t a foreign idea. different coffee beans mean different tastes, though if val didn’t get it, then it probably wasn’t the same. “ oh really ?! can you really say you’ve been a goody two shoes all your life ? that you’ve never ever done anything wrong ? “ she asked val though not believing the innocent act, even if val proved to be straight with how she took things.  “ yeah, i get it. i mean, i know. “ mila empathized, leaning back on the chair she was sitting on. “ i try. “ she responded to the compliment with light laughter. “ do you wanna do something less stressful ? “

[ayediosmila-blog]

          ken  was  painfully  aware  that  mila  already  didn’t  really  like  him  ;  in  hindsight  ,  staying  quiet  and  letting  her  be  right  might’ve  been  better  in  the  long  run  ,  but  ken  was  terrible  at  keeping  his  mouth  shut  when  he  had  something  to  say  and  knew  it  was  right  .  “  that’s  what  i  just  said  .  ”  he  muttered  in  response  ,  a  half  -  frown  etched  onto  his  features  when  he  realized  she’d  just  stopped  listening  halfway  through  .  maybe  it’d  be  better  if  he  gave  up  on  trying  to  get  her  on  his  good  side  all  together  —  she  didn’t  exactly  make  things  easy  —  but  he’s  never  been  one  to  turn  down  a  challenge  ,  and  he  wasn’t  about  to  start  now  .  his  nose  scrunches  up  as  she  pulls  the  ‘  politician’s  daughter  ’  card  ,  fighting  the  urge  to  roll  his  eyes  at  her  statement  .  “  i’m  just  saying  .  ”  he  says  ,  a  little  less  fire  in  his  tone  .  her  next  statement  is  catching  him  off  -  guard  though  ,  brows  pinching  as  he  repeated  her  words  in  his  mind  ,  “  i  —  huh  ?  what  do  looks  have  to  do  with  being  a  lawyer  anyways  ?  ”  he  shakes  his  head  ,  “  besides  ,  even  if  there  was  some  correlation  there  ,  i  don’t  want  to  be  a  lawyer  .  ”

” i know you did. “ she thought it was obvious. “ i was agreeing with you there kenny. “ which wasn’t rare but when she did agree with him, it felt weird. her eyes narrowed when looking over at him, her lips pursed in thought before it spread into a little sneaky grin. “ what’s your game here ? be nice to me, get me to like you and then we skip down all buddy buddy ? “ her head tilted to one side as she asked, laughing at the idea. “ it could all go horribly wrong. i’ll give you a chance to run out the door, save you from feeling like you’re wasting your time. “ she was a pain, there was no doubt about it, except it felt like it was really only towards ken at times. “ most lawyers i know aren’t cute, that’s all - besides the point - what do you wanna be then ? “ 

[ayediosmila-blog]

it wasn’t the impossible because isa could choose with her eyes closed what she liked best. hell, she could choose even if she had no eyes. “ PC is master race, how dare you even ask me that ? ” she rants passionately, wildly throwing around her hands around as if to prove a point. “ console is for plebs, but i think PS4 is better than XBOX ONE. fight me on this one, meels. ” she beams now, looking like she hadn’t just insulted every console player in the world. a disbelieving scoff. “ i don’t watch anime, so i’unno ! can’t really say.. ” bullshit, isa had a tokyo ghoul poster ( amongst other smaller anime decorations ) hung up on her wall. “ sports anime sounds weird though. watch something with mecha in it. who doesn’t like mecha anything ? ”

mila let out a fake gasp - though it was dramatic as she had a hand to her chest. “ I prefer consoles ! “ she said her bit, shaking her head. “ actually, scratch that. i can’t actually choose. “ mila then decided. she was definitely not as out there as isa is, but their personalities definitely blended somehow. “ you’re telling me, “ she began, “ that you’re a gamer on all platforms and don’t watch anime ? “ her brow raised, then shaking her head. “ i don’t believe it ! “ mila decided, calling it out loud. “ mecha is so boring though. i’ve seen gundam seed, and full metal panic and they weren’t my cup of tea. “

[a-cleanlook2-deactivated2020060]

[ayediosmila-blog]

“ i’m going to need you to decide something for me. “ meels said simply, looking over a few photos on her phone. “ PS4, XBOX ONE or PC, which one is greater ? “ it felt like she was asking isa the impossible, but she was going to do it. “ that and, which type of sports anime is better ? Free ! or Haikyu ? I was recommended both but I’m not sure which one to start. sports anime always felt weird to me, but apparently it’s good ? “

[ayediosmila-blog]

｡･ﾟ*｡ - reply to @ayediosmila​

Although Finn spoke a lot and often could say whatever was on his mind - what might have surprised people was the realisation that Finn actually kept a lot of things to himself. How he felt about himself and his feelings weren’t topics he shared freely - in fact, there was probably only a handful of people he had really opened up to. Meels had been one of them and he didn’t regret that. But Finn couldn’t help but wonder if the real him was too much for her - and maybe that’s why she was weird around him ( added onto the general awkwardness of their break up ). If he thought about that too much, it made him worried and anxious - and that was something he would have to keep to himself. Noticing the seriousness in her voice - she was okay with working with him - Finn took on board all she was saying. If she was comfortable then that’s all that really mattered. He wanted to press her on what her problem was ( he had often wondered what he had done - after all, being broken up with over text was not the best indication of his character ) but her acceptance of their partnership was enough for him to feel just a little bit better. Giving her a smile, Finn slowly nodded - the realisation that they would be working together on this fully sinking in. “All right then, let’s do this…So, um, what did you think of my ideas? And when are you free to work on this? It’d be great to get at least an A- …” he trailed. Usually he’d aim higher and he knew Meels had always been a high achiever. But he wasn’t sure if their past and subsequent strange interactions would mean a few deducted points.

what she needed was a fast forward button, or a remote control that did all of that, like in Click with Adam Sandler. Yes, the movie was actually sad, but the idea of it all - they were onto something, and mila only wished she had one of those remotes. usually she’d be all into starting a project, organizing it and going through with it but right now ... she couldn’t even get her head wrapped around it. it helped that finn was the one with the ideas because she was feeling completely hopeless, since the beginning this class hasn’t been one of her favourites. “ you mean an A+ “ she corrected, and then cleared her throat, bringing out her phone to give her schedule a quick look. “ how much time do you think we’ll need on this ? you can always come to the cafe while im working and i can work with you when it’s not busy. “  she suggested. “ i like the idea of repurposing new buildings into a more greener space. that’s the direction in which everyone is taking right now, so if this were to be pitched to a company for their new building, i think the response to it would be...great. “ she was saying, finally getting into the idea of working on the project, letting the awkwardness melt - except as it melted, her attention to something else came about where her voice kind of faltered. “ do you ... wanna go build a snow man ? “ she wondered, though she was looking out the window instead of at finn. 

[ayediosmila-blog]

“there’s not much of a story, pal,” rolando answered with a mouth full of cereal. he held the box close to his chest so mila’s hand wouldn’t hit it out of his grasp. “sometimes, mila, people get a little lazy. and sometimes, they opt to eat cereal and milk straight out of the box out of convenience. don’t judge me too harshly, it’ll harsh my vibes.”

“ okay, pal. “ she emphasized, making fun of him. honestly, she didn’t have to try, rolando brought laughter everywhere he went, she was just glad she was along for the ride. sometimes.  “ i can’t judge you, ro, i think judging you takes too much effort i’ve learned to accept it. “ mila explained, reaching for the box, taking a couple of the drier cereal on the top and popping it in her mouth. 

[ayediosmila-blog]

“Yeah, you know, people are assholes enough, and with this whole belief that customers are always right, well, it just gives them more reason to be assholes.” Jane had always felt strongly against people who mistreated customer service workers, and the memory of her dad yelling at a young waitress on her fourteenth birthday dinner always brought a bad taste to her mouth. “Oh, I’m actually a student. I go to Somerset. I did have a summer job once, though. Well, it was more of an internship-apprentice thing at this boutique back home. I hated it.”

“ you know what, customers are right, but to an extent. they’re only right when they politely ask for things, or ask about things. any other time, they are wrong. i love those moments where the manager basically repeats what you’ve told them. “ she said to the other, then looking over at who she was actually talking to. “ and i don’t know why i’m telling you this, sorry about that. “ she apologized, laughing softly under her breath. “ i go to somerset too actually ! “ she said, “ and, i guess if you don’t have to work, and if you don’t like it, i’d recommend against it. “

[ayediosmila-blog]

knowing the joint was finished, mila was starting to feel the difference in her body - her head - how light it was starting to feel, her eyes suddenly smaller than usual and she wasn’t sure if she was doing it or if it was part of smoking weed. “ okay ..... what did you poison me with ? “ she asked, eyes still small, leaning over towards levi with a suspicious look. “ is this where you poison me, or give me something to knock me out and then next thing i know i’m in the middle of nowhere ? “ she asked, really these were unfiltered thoughts coming out. “ or ..... is this gonna turn into a ross and rachel thing ? - are we about to get married in vegas ?! “ she asked aloud, laughing. 

[ayediosmila-blog]

her bottom lip absentmindedly found its place inbetween her teeth as val considered the question. “i dunno… is it bad if i admit i’m kinda picky about my coffee flavors? like, sure i mostly drink it so that it’ll keep me up but i also i like it to taste like more than just coffee bean water,” she joked. “like i’ll take a pumpkin spice latte or a caramel macchiato over a cup of black coffee any day. ‘though i have gotten used to drinking it black.” a light chuckle left her lips as she scrunched her nose at mila. “my FBI agent probably knows me better than i know myself. i feel like i should trust their judgement about my life purchases,” she replied semi jokingly. with a quick shake of her head, val denied needing any help. “i’m just a lil stressed is all. a lot of my deadlines are coming up one right after the other. it feels like my work is never done. but it’s fine, really.”

leaning over, mila reached for her hands to take val’s. “ val, meu amor, we’re baristas, if you weren’t picky about the coffee you take or how you take it... i would worry. “ she teased as her tone went from dramatic to humorous. “ we’re different there, i like my coffee black. “ she waved a finger, then leaning back on her seat. “ and i like it with things in it, but i prefer black. you can really taste the differences in the bean. i had one from peru the other day, and the taste was so rich without anything in it. “ she explained, rambling on about something not even on track with the conversation. “ alright, true but ... i still wouldn’t trust the FBI, maybe it’s a ploy to catch you. “ mila played with the idea, another laugh escaping her. “ ah, okay but ... you know after they’re done, they’re done. think about that feeling instead of giving up so quick, and if that doesn’t work, i can always help out somehow. “

[ayediosmila-blog]

｡･ﾟ*｡ - reply to @ayediosmila​

He couldn’t figure out if he had done something terrible to her - had he really been that bad of a partner when they were together? Sometimes, he got a little annoyed if he thought about it too much - she was the one who broke up with him over text ( though they were long over by then ). It didn’t actually hurt to receive the message, in fact he didn’t really feel too upset at all but it was just awkward. He wasn’t mad or angry - it just took him a while to process it . Two hours later, all he could come up with was “um, ok thanks for letting me know !! good luck with ur test !!” As the actor Owen Wilson once said, “wow”. Rummaging through the front pocket of his backpack, he found a pen and loudly clicked it before turning to look at her quickly. “Good to know,” he said. Pulling a piece of paper closer to him which he had already scribbled some ideas, he began rambling - half out of nerves and the other half out of passion. “We could look at the repurposing of office buildings? Maybe something on urban sprawl or incorporating green with new build apartments … there’s this great place in Sydney called One Central Park that has vertical hanging gardens - I went there once for a couple of days … way too many people, Melbourne is much better …” he trailed as he found himself getting immersed in his notes. However he stopped himself short - realising that he was taking over the project rather than collaborating. Meeting her eyes, his voice was soft when he approached the topic again. “Are you sure you don’t want to swap? This isn’t … I mean, I can do the project myself if it’s weird and you could … check it?” 

she wasn’t dumb, not at all. mila knew that them being awkward around each other was moreso because of her than it was because of finn. she just couldn’t get her head to wrap around that she really did break up with him the way she did. that in itself is embarassing material, and for her, most of her exes lived in different parts of the states - the world, so having to see them after a breakup was no big deal. meels didn’t have anything against him, she knew his heart and everything that came with it came from a good place, it was just her. that was the frustrating part she guessed. if it weren’t for this class, and the fact that she hung around val, she didn’t have to worry about bumping into finn, yet it’s starting to become a bit of a job. mila had flipped her notebook to a fresh new page to write down some notes, but of course she didn’t get a chance to input an idea, she knew that was coming. a smile appeared on her lips as she listened to him ramble on, now that was definitely something she was used to. she even laughed a little bit, meeting his look after, then sighing at his question. “ finn, “ she began, another sigh leaving her. “ i’m okay with working with you, but if you think it’s going to be a problem we can switch. i don’t have an idea on what to do, so we can take one of your ideas and work on it together. im not going to let ... whatever my problem is affect our grade so, tell me. what is it you wanna do ? “

[cozywinterseve]

Christmas colors 🎄

[ayediosmila-blog]

｡･ﾟ*｡ - closed starter for @ayediosmila​

Ah shit. Finn was late to class - not surprising ever - and was an absolute mess. His unzipped backpack hung loosely off one arm as he held a pile of papers in the other - a keep cup stacked unstably on top. He had been sketching the affect of human construction on different parts of nearby parks and had lost track of the time.  Shoving the door open ( it was a much more dramatic entrance than he ever wanted ) - he gave the professor a loud apology ( though to be fair, he had spoken to Stuart about his issue with timekeeping and while the man was not impressed, he wasn’t that unimpressed ) before dashing to the nearest empty seat. But funnily enough, it was next to Meels. He hadn’t expected her to take this paper but he had no time to react - already lost in his need to unpack and find a pen - one that worked. That is until he slowly came to the realisation that today was the day they had been assigned a partner to work with on an assignment. And ironically, that seat had always been meant for him. Turning to look at her, he gave her an awkward smile. “Uh, so … I feel like I’ve missed out on like an important ten minutes,” he said jokingly before his voice trailed off. “I’ve uh, kind of thought of some ideas before we knew who our partners would be … we could brainstorm …” Lowering his voice, he continued. “I mean, we can swap if you want - I can pay Jeremy over there like twenty dollars… and maybe like my reusable straw because that’s all I have. ” 

mila was already having a bit of an off day. she had woken up late to begin with, therefore missing her first class which she really didn’t like - and then work got her schedule mixed up, turns out she’s not working, so she was lugging around extra things in her bag she didn’t need. this was the only class she felt she was being productive in, and even then not really. she had zoned out for most of the beginning in class, just doodling on the side of her work book, little snow flakes and reindeer ~ it was so close to christmas, and it was bound to snow. truly it was the only thing she was looking forward to. she had heard the loud sound of the doors, and without even looking up she knew it was finn. under her breath she sighed since the only thing she did retain is that they’re being paired up for this assignment. she tried to avoid him on the daily, not because he’s horrible, not at all, quite the opposite ? ever since mila broke up with him via text, she just felt it was easier to just ... not see him. she really only looked over when the prof declared it an in class work period. “ you didn’t miss much. “ she assured as one of her brows slightly raised. “ no, you don’t need to swap. if i wanted to swap partners, i could have asked Cassie. i don’t mind working together. “ not that much any way, it was school. as long as they stuck to school it would be fine. so she hoped. “ what are your ideas ? i haven’t ... done anything. “