[TW: face/body mutations, Simon eelification]ā¼ļø
Dipping my toes in horror bc I love studying the prop design for iron lung

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@aylibis
[TW: face/body mutations, Simon eelification]ā¼ļø
Dipping my toes in horror bc I love studying the prop design for iron lung
I feel like someone is standing next to me talking about how I'm dead
The chemical they put on ants and all the other ants think they're dead that's what happened to tumblr except the chemical is unmarketability
tumblr may have censored porn but check this out
i hope Elon musk KILLS himself and DIES a thousand DEATHS. and i hope every other billionaire a very merry DIE DIE DEATH KILL MURDER DEATH KILL
š±āš
I hate them but I love them
real life college losers
Memory of Sasha
āfujoshis are harmful to gay menā not this gay man.
on twitter this got a bunch of responses like āwow even the evil fujoshis? the homophobic yet hypocritically fetishistic ones? what if the fujoshi is racist?ā and like well no obviously not in that case.
āshoutout to everybody from new jersey!ā āeven the new jersey serial killersā¦?ā
reading a historical romance novel and reflecting on the way these stories often present woke nobility for the contemporary reader. a big thing is servants. you canāt not have servants in those times but many modern readers think ābut I would never have servants. it would be so weird to have servantsā and in order to make the protagonists of the story more relatable they are actually friends with the servants. but flip your perspective and think of it from the side of the servants. wouldnāt it be so awful if your boss was always trying to be friends with you. a really common thing youāll see is the woke baronet having tea in the kitchen with the servants bc heās not like other baronets. but what if your boss wanted to hang out and talk during your lunch break every day. not so charming when you think about it that way
#okay but now what is the optimal way to be a good boss in this situation i genuinely wanna know#its easy to guess what makes a bad boss or a mid boss. but what is a good boss#specifically in such a highly structured hierarchal situation (via @rainbowroach)
HELLO you are asking questions that literature and poetry THROUGHOUT the middle ages has asked, and it is from this questioning that we derive things like the Codes of Chivalry (which is not "how to treat a noble lady really nice" but is actually "how to be an ethical person when you're rich and you own a horse" and includes such things as "don't run people over with your horse")
In fact I daresay you already know instinctively just from cultural osmosis what a good boss -- a good liege lord -- is and does based on the tropes that have survived to the current day and the kinds of things that get Hugely Praised in things like legends of King Arthur.
A good boss (liege lord) is:
Merciful. He is not having his peasants killed for things like poaching rabbits during a famine. In fact, he is working to mitigate famine. During times of individual hardship, he might negotiate with a peasant for a payment plan on their annual rent.
Patient. He is not impulsive, he does not lose his temper.
Prudent. He makes choices that are thoughtful, considered, conservative (in the sense of not needlessly risky--he's not investing his entire fortune in having everyone plant an unproven crop). He is making sure local infrastructure like roads and public buildings are maintained and kept in good nick.
Gentle. He doesn't haul off and slap a servant or a tenant for breaking a dish or making a mistake. He doesn't abuse animals, his wife or children, or his employees. He doesn't rape the servants.
Generous (both in money and in spirit). He is not extorting the peasants for an amount of rent that is beyond their means, he is not raising taxes every year to cover his own lavish lifestyle. He is paying his servants a living wage (or, if wages are low, he's giving them room/board/clothing to make up the difference). If someone in a tenant's family dies, the lord is sending a gift of condolence, or helping to pay for the funeral, or possibly even ATTENDING the funeral and speaking a few kind words about the deceased, ESPECIALLY if they were a really upstanding and important member of the community. If one of his tenants is gravely sick, the lord is sending a basket of food or paying for a doctor. He is giving charitably (generally this will be, like, a bequest to the church so that they can run a hospital or an orphanage or a school for the local village children).
Pious. This classically means "goes to church, submits with humility to God" but to me this quality is subtextually standing in for "maintaining an ongoing sense of Perspective that HE'S not god, that there are higher powers he is Accountable to, that he too can be Judged, etc, so that he doesn't end up going on a weird fucked up power trip"
Humble. One of the most admiring things you hear about a lord doing in literature and epic poetry is, "He ate off of wooden plates while his followers ate off of gold and silver." Humility isn't about being meek, it's just about not thinking so much of yourself that you turn your nose up and sneer at what "lesser" people do. In other words: Don't be a fucking diva. If your carriage gets stuck in the mud, climb out and help everybody else push, you're not gonna die from getting mud on your shoes.
Condescending. This word has changed wildly in meaning/tone over the last couple centuries -- it's now a rude thing to do (because we've done away with legal social hierarchies, so someone acting like they're lowering themselves to your level IS insulting), but in older times, a high-ranking person "condescending" to a servant was worthy of praise and admiration: it means they were setting aside rank and privilege to speak to them with the easygoing, friendly respect and compassion they'd give a peer. This is things like... Treats those beneath him with courtesy and respect (ie: listens soberly and attentively when one of his servants or tenants comes to complain about a problem). Having a sense of humor and kindness about it when the lord and a servant both come around a corner at the same time and run into each other and the servant gets knocked to the ground and starts babbling apologies--the condescending (positive) lord helps them to their feet with his own hands and cracks a joke to show them that it's ok (as opposed to just walking off without a word or insulting/scolding them). This is also things like trusting a farmer, woodcutter, or artisan to speak with expertise about their own livelihood and taking their advice into consideration if they tell the lord that one of his ideas won't work.
Good boundaries. The ethical liege lord knows that it's normal for the staff to probably be softly bitching about him in private (even with a really good boss, we all grumble from time to time). He's not eavesdropping on them, he's not going into the staff areas where they should reasonably expect to have a degree of privacy, etc.
Righteous and protective of "the weak". The "weak" here doesn't necessarily mean physically weak, this is often used in the sense of someone politically or socially weak, aka The Marginalized -- the poor, the disabled, women, children, the elderly, etc. If a lord sees someone like this being mistreated or abused, he's supposed to step in and put a stop to that.
Committed to reciprocity. In a highly hierarchical system like feudalism, every person (from the lowest peasant all the way up to the crown prince) legally OWES their liege lord certain things (taxes, labor, service, loyalty, etc). A good liege remembers and takes very seriously the idea that this should be a balanced and reciprocal relationship -- in other words, he owes something BACK. Feudalism is modeled very strongly on the family system: If children owe their parents obedience and service, then parents owe their children care and protection. This still applies when the "child" is a farmer and the "parent" is a local baron. Or when the "child" is a duke and the "parent" is the king.
Basically, we get so caught up in the aesthetics of nobility that we forget that it literally is a managerial position that comes with responsibilities that were... very similar back in the day to the same ones we have now. Humans have not changed all that much. At the end of the day, a really good boss in the 1400s versus in one from the 2020s displays most of the same qualities of personality, even if the details of execution are different.
The next question is, of course, "well, but this theoretical liege lord is HIGHLY idealized -- how often did that actually HAPPEN? Wasn't it more likely that everyone was exploited all the time?" and to that I say: Well, maybe. But again, I don't think humans have changed all that much. Just like the bosses of today, there's a SPECTRUM: A really really good boss is rare and precious and one that you tell stories about for years after you've left that job, but a truly, genuinely, homicidally nightmarish boss is also pretty rare. Most bosses are sort of meh -- they have their good moments, they have their shitty moments, but they're tolerable and you can get along with them well enough to do your job, and then you roll your eyes at them behind their back. Generally, humans don't take outright exploitation lying down. Being a bad boss in the historical period is how you get peasant uprisings and revolts, and you know that to be true because your parents raised you with that knowledge, so unless you are very stupid or inbred or an egomaniac, there is literal personal incentive to at minimum be a Tolerable liege lord. And that means hitting at least SOME of the above bullet points.
TL;DR: In the words of Honore de Balzac, "Everything I have just told you can be summarized by an old word: noblesse oblige!"
(for more discussions of the ethics of fealty and what it means to be a good boss when you are an exquisitely beautiful twink of a prince with a hot beefy bodyguard.... [fingerguns] read A Taste of Gold and Iron)
This is an EXCELLENT post! ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Id fuck tigress from king fu panda
but would she fuck you? humble yourself
Iām so proud of senshi for making it so far in the tumblr sexyman poll. I think itās so beautiful that tumblr has reached a point where a short fat hairy bearded man is the pinnacle of sexuality for a large swath of this userbase. itās like when you see before & after pictures of a rainforest recovering from deforestation. nature is healing and we can fight god
I hope he wins so someone will have to explain to ryoko kui what a tumblr sexyman is
I have to say I forgot the oncelerās thing was cutting down trees when I made my metaphor.
the forest is also a metaphor for his bush
Has your girl blorbo ever been in jail/prison?
- Yes
- No
- Nuance/Unsure
Has your girl blorbo ever been in jail/prison?
Yes
No
Nuance/unsure
no dude it's so cool how attached you are to that character who is singled out and ostracized due to the external monstrousness that clashes with their internal spark of humanity. and i love how drawn you are to themes of horror and love, nature versus nurture, otherness, isolation, and the abject. i bet you have normal feelings about your own personhood
Concept: Queen Guinevere of Camelot is engaged to marry Princess Mithian of Nemeth
CAMELOVE DAY 1: LADIES FIRST ⣠Gwen/Mithian
āWhat is it that the child has to teach?
The child naively believes that everything should be fair and everyone should be honest, that only good should prevail, that everybody should have what they want and there should be no pain or sadness. The child believes the world should be perfect and is outraged to discover it is not.
And the child is right.ā
ā Rabbi Tzvi Freeman
āWesterners are fond of the saying āLife isnāt fair.ā Then, they end in snide triumphant: āSo get used to it!ā What a cruel, sadistic notion to revel in! What a terrible, patriarchal response to a childās budding sense of ethics. Announce to an Iroquois, āLife isnāt fair,ā and her response will be: āThen make it fair!āā āBarbara Alice Mann
[ID: panel from Calvin and Hobbes in which Calvinās mom says, āLife could be worse, Calvinā and Calvin responds, āLife could be a lot better, too!ā]
ātumblr is nice because itās anonymous and irrelevant so it doesnāt affect my real life in any way.ā Wrong. if you are on here for long enough the words of your mortifying adolescent internet diary will be written on the subway walls and tenement halls and out of the mouths of coworkers and over the faces of tiktokers and and in reddit screenshots posted on instagram sent to you by your friends and in ai dupe novelty t shirts and in the smiles of strangers repeating bits you forgot you left lying around on here when you were a teenager. and also pinterest.
gwen x morgana is a classic and i will hold that ship tightly and lovingly to my chest till the day i die HOWEVER!! the potential of gwen x mithian is not lost on me
arthur telling mithian about gwen while sheās exiled. mithian replying heād give her kingdom to be so loved. mithian getting separated from her knights during an ambush and arriving to the village gwen has settled in. mithian meeting her once and being immediately like yeah no i get what arthur meant