Aysel Luna

Astarion obsessed. I stream! - twitch.tv/allenamei | tumblr for my obsessed heart and thirst for Astarion fanfics

[roguishcat]

The Art of Appreciation

Thank you so much for the ask @ly--canthrope! Hope you like it! 💖💖

The ask: Astarion x Reader with small chest and she is self-conscious about it.

Summary: They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, discovered in the unique traits admired by those closest to us. Now, Astarion isn’t in love—don’t be utterly ridiculous, darling!—but he certainly knows exactly how to make you adore every inch of your form.

Word count: 2.8k

Tags: Astarion x female Reader, Astarion x Reader, Insecure Reader, Reader is worried about her breast size, Act II, pre-confession, Astarion is bad at feelings, slightly suggestive, fluff with a tiny bit of angst, Astarion and Shadowheart are bitchy

A/N: If you notice any mistakes, please let me know! 💖

Astarion watched their self-appointed leader with quiet amusement. There she was, attempting to intimidate a trio of towering ogres and other Absolutists with nothing but sheer bravado.

Needless to say, you were failing quite spectacularly.

A moment later, his amusement shifted to genuine awe. You thrust your dagger cleanly into an Absolutist cultist, the odious male dropping to the ground instantly with a thud. Now, that was his kind of leader. Fierce, passionate, lethal. And, most delightfully, utterly enamoured with him.

"Fangs! Watch out!"

Karlach’s shout snapped him back to reality. Astarion ducked just as an arrow whistled past his ear. Scowling, the elf lunged at the attacker. Within seconds, the half-elf archer was on the ground, clutching a severed throat. Astarion smirked, wiping a drop of blood from his cheek and licking his palm with a menacing look aimed at the rest of the cultists. If one wished to dance with a professional, one had to expect a world of hurt.

"Ogling your girl during a potential bloodbath? Can't blame you, mate!" Karlach bellowed over the din of battle, swinging her axe with a booming laugh.

“Just waiting for my cue to join in with all the fun.” Astarion simply winked in response and settled into the familiar rhythm of a battle.

“Careful, Astarion. Keep that up and someone might think that you actually care,” Shadowheart’s Shadowheart’s sharp, dry voice cut through the noise of the battle.

Astarion bristled, his fangs flashing in a dangerous smile as his knuckles tightened around his blades. “Jealousy does not become you, darling.”

“Jealous? You are hardly my type.”

“That was not what I meant,” Astarion dodged an attack and sliced down, his target crumping to the ground. “You are just bitter that I get to enjoy her every talent, when your experience is limited to battle.”

Shadowheart scoffed. “Hardly. “ Shadowheart slammed her shield into an advancing foe, her eyes flashing as she healed herself. “You care about keeping your protector alive. I care about keeping her alive. But of course. Do keep boasting about the talents that you-”

“Will you two quit it?” A sudden voice cut through their bickering as you parried a heavy blow nearby.  “Stop discussing my talents while we are surrounded by cultists, or I swear I am letting the next owlbear eat you both!”

Later that evening, you shook out your hair with a tired sigh, trying to rid it of the dust and sweat of battle.  You didn’t feel like washing in the freezing cold river, but the leather armour clinging to your skin and the splatters of blood on absolutely everything were disgusting enough to motivate you. Getting changed out of your armour and waiting long enough for everyone to be done, you slipped away from the noisy camp.

Finally, some time alone.

"Darling! I thought I saw someone heading down to the river," a smooth, familiar voice purred from the shadows. "Thinking of taking a dip under the moonlight?"

You jumped slightly. "Oh! Astarion! Actually, I was just leaving, actually. "

"But you just got here," he countered, stepping into the silvery light with an amused arch of his brow. "And you are in desperate need of a wash. Unless my eyes deceive me, you look like you've been rolling in the dirt with an owlbear."

"Ah—well, yes! It was a messy fight," you stammered, trying to ignore how easily his presence flustered you. "But if you need to wash up, I’m happy to give you some privacy."

"While that is incredibly considerate of you, I think we can find it in ourselves to share a whole river, hm?" He sauntered closer, his eyes gleaming. "Besides, it isn't as though we haven't shared... close quarters before. Unless you’ve suddenly developed a bout of modesty?"

While the thought of bathing together sparked a thrilling warmth in your chest, you were not prepared to stand exposed beneath the clear moonlight.

Astarion was right, of course. You had spent a night together after the celebration, and it had been wonderful. The most amazing, toe-curling, unforgettable experience of your life.

But that night had been fuelled by liquid courage and the intoxicating high of being praised as the saviour of the Grove. You were not yourself then. Someone better, stronger, braver. Tonight, reality had set in, and your self-consciousness was back with a vengeance.

It didn't help that your companions looked like walking masterpieces. Shadowheart’s flawless silhouette, perfectly accentuated by her leather camp clothes, made you feel entirely inadequate and… flat.

"You're doing that thing again," Astarion interrupted your spiralling thoughts.

"What thing?"

"The thing where your mind spins into a frenzy and you look like you're about to apologize for simply existing," he said, stepping closer. "Tell me, my sweet, what is troubling you?"

"It's nothing. Nothing important.”

“I will be the judge of that.”

“Just... look at everyone else. Like Shadowheart and her soft, perfect curves." You sighed, tracing a pattern in the dirt with your boot. "And then there's me. There is very little about me to... entice anyone. Let alone you." You licked your lips and continued in a quieter tone. “Because I look at you and wonder would anyone so beautiful ever settle for someone like me.”

Astarion let out a soft chuckle, though his expression remained guarded. "I find that your idea of what entices me is detached from reality, my sweet."

"Are you telling me that looks don't matter?" you asked, a hint of defensiveness creeping into your voice. "Because it sounds like a crappy attempt at making me feel better."

"Quite the contrary. I am not trying to make you feel better," he murmured, his gaze dropping to the laces of your camp shirt. "I am simply stating a fact. You spend so much time hiding behind armour and cloth. It's a pity, really."

Before you could protest, his cool fingers gently caught the hem of your shirt. He didn't pull, but the question in his eyes was clear. You let out a small breath, your heart hammering against your ribs as the fabric bunched under his hands. He undressed you slowly, until you were left just in your simple undergarments, the cool night air hitting your skin.

Astarion’s gaze softened, losing its usual edge. "There. Was that so terrifying?"

"A little," you admitted, crossing your arms loosely over your chest.

He took a step closer, his cool fingers settling over your wrists. He didn't force your arms down, but simply waited, giving you the choice. A chance to back away. You swallowed hard, letting your arms drop to your sides.

"Look at you," Astarion whispered, his eyes tracing your collarbones before settling on your chest. He brushed his knuckles down your arms, his touch remarkably light. "You have this soft warmth to you. It's entirely captivating. How could you ever think you couldn't entice?"

Trying to shield yourself from the uncharacteristic sincerity in his voice, you offered a weak smile and tried to think about anything else. "Astarion, if you are just hungry, you can say so. I don't mind."

"Tsk, you are entirely no fun," he chuckled, fingers lingering on your skin. "And yes, I am always hungry. Eternally so. I might even trouble you for a small bite... later. But you, my dearest, have been so incredibly accommodating of my needs. Tonight, let's focus on yours."

Astarion stepped back just enough to offer you his hand, his fingers curling gently around yours. With a subtle nod toward the shimmering water, he guided you down the gentle slope of the riverbank.

The initial shock of the cold water made you gasp, but as you waded deeper, the moonlit river began to feel like a soothing balm against the aches of a brutal day. Astarion moved beside you with fluid grace, completely unbothered by the chill, the water swirling around his waist.

"You see?" The elf murmured. "Nothing terrible happened just because you shed a few layers of cloth and self-doubt."

"Easy for you to say," you muttered, with a small, genuine smile. You cupped some water in your hands and rinsed the lingering grime from his hands with gentle movements. "In this light, you look like a painting come to life."

"Well, I am beautiful. That is simply an undeniable fact," he replied with a dramatic shrug. The sharp, theatrical edge of his smirk softened as he looked back at you, shoulders relaxing as you continued your unhurried ministrations. He drifted a step closer, the water rippling between you. "But tonight, the moonlight suits you far better."

You stopped, looking up at him as the cool water pooled around your chest. "Thank you, Astarion," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "For... for listening. For not mocking me."

"Darling, I mock many things. Mostly when Gale goes off on one of his boring lectures and Lae'zel's complete lack of a sense of humour becomes a little too obvious," he reached out, his cool damp fingers gently tucking a wet strand of hair behind your ear. "But I would never mock the things that make you so uniquely you. Now, let's wash the rest of this dreadful cultists’ blood away, shall we?"

His hands slid lower and then lower still, pressing with that sudden, hungry intensity. And yet a familiar knot tightened in your stomach. His gaze drifted downward, and your breath hitched. It had nothing to do with the cold water, but the sudden urge to cover yourself again.

Feeling you stiffen, Astarion paused. His lips hovered just above the gentle curve of your breast.

"Oh, darling," he murmured, his voice a low, vibrating rumble against your skin. He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes. "Don't tell me you're retreating back into that pretty, complicated mind of yours?"

"Astarion," you breathed, trying to keep your voice steady. "If you're just trying to be polite... you don't have to pretend. I know there isn't exactly a lot here for you to work with."

Astarion let out a dramatic, breathy sigh, tossing his head back slightly as if utterly exhausted by your stubbornness.

"I feel that we have entirely different definitions of what polite means. Over the years, I was accused of being selfish, dishonest, roguishly handsome, of course. But polite? Honestly, my sweet, I feel rather offended that you called me something so boring and bland."

Astarion’s dramatic rant was followed by a melodic chuckle. He leaned in closer, his thumb sweeping across your nipples in a slow, possessive circles that sent a shiver straight down your spine. He tightened his grip around your waist just enough to pull you flush against his chest, his head tilting so his lips were right beside your ear.

"Polite is a word reserved for people like Wyll and Gale," he purred, one hand moving down to trace teasing pattern along your ribs. "People who bow, and do what they are supposed to, and who use their chivalrous voices to say empty niceties. Those who pretend they aren't thinking utterly wicked things. I have never pretended to be a gentleman. Nor have I kept the wicked, deplorable things I think about to myself."

"And as for these?" Astarion whispered, his eyes dropping to your chest with a dark hunger. "They are absolutely exquisite. Soft, perfectly formed, and fitting so incredibly well right here in my hands. There is a delicate, delicious perfection to them.”

He leaned down, pressing a firm, lingering kiss right to the soft slope of your breast, making you gasp out loud.

"I don’t want you to say one more ugly, untrue word about yourself tonight or ever again," he murmured. "You are utterly captivating, exactly as you are. Now... where were we?"

A splash of cold water broke the heavy tension as you playfully nudged Astarion’s chest, a laugh escaping your lips. "Alright, alright! You don't have to smother me to prove a point, vampire."

"Smother you? Darling, I am offering you absolute devotion as I cleanse you of the cultists’ filthy blood, and a masterful appreciation of your finest assets, and you call it smothering?"

"Oh, you're right," you said, your voice entirely too innocent. "We absolutely must get rid of every last drop of cultist blood."

He hummed in approval, but before he could process the shift in your tone, you brought your hands down sharply against the water's surface. Water arched through the air, drenching him completely from the shoulders up and flattening his perfectly coiffed curls against his forehead.

Astarion froze. For terrifying seconds he stood entirely motionless, water sliding down into his eyes and dripping from the tip of his nose.

"You did not just do that," he blinked away the droplets, his voice laced with amusement.

"I believe I did," you said, taking a strategic step backward into deeper water. “Have to make sure not to be boring and bland with you, darling.”

"Right. That’s it! Come here!" Astarion declared with theatrical outrage.

The vampire lunged forward with the speed of a predator, using both hands to send a blinding sheet of water directly into your face. You sputtered, laughing through the spray, and immediately struck back. In the next few minutes, the heavy tension evaporated completely, replaced by splashing and breathless laughter.

Eventually, Astarion slipped behind you, his damp arms wrapping loosely around your waist to push your arms against your body and anchor you in place. He was laughing against your shoulder, his cool breath against your skin.

“Do you surrender?”

"Yes, I yield!" you gasped, leaning back against him, chest heaving and cheeks flushed.

"Good," he chuckled, his grip loosening just slightly, yet holding you close in a way that felt protective. "Because I would hate to have to ruin my hair any further to prove a point."

You two settled into comfortable quiet. The gentle lapping of the river the only sound breaking the night. Astarion held you against his chest for a few moments longer, his chin resting lightly on your shoulder as your breathing grew steadier.

"Come along, my sweet," he murmured. "Before you catch a chill and I am forced to listen to you sneeze and cough your way through our adventure. Though perhaps the Absolute is susceptible to common colds and that would bring us an easy victory?"

You slapped his biceps playfully, stepping out of his loose embrace and wading back toward the riverbank. The self-consciousness that had weighed so heavily on you before hadn’t entirely vanished. But as you noticed that your soaked smallclothes became completely transparent and clung to your skin, for once your first urge was not to cover up your chest.  

Peeling the wet undergarments off your skin, you quickly dressed yourself in your dry camp clothes, feeling a new sense of lightness rather than unease as you saw Astarion look at you from time to time. The elf wrung out and shook his shirt with a dramatic sigh, making sure to get some water on you, and then changed into dry clothes.

The walk back to camp was quiet and easy. You walked side by side through the trees, fingers brushing but not lingering, the distant crackle of the camp's bonfire guiding the two of you back. At some point your companions found their ways to their tents and all was still. The raucous noise of Karlach and the others had died down, replaced by the low, steady breathing of your sleeping companions.

When you reached the edge of your tent, you turned back to look at Astarion. The moonlight caught the silver of his hair, the curls still delightfully messy from your water fight.

"Goodnight, Astarion," you whispered and brushed a damp curl behind his ear with warm fingers. "Thank you. And I’m sorry for ruining your hair."

He smirked, leaning against the wooden post of your tent structure, crossing his arms. "It’s quite alright. But do not make a habit of it, darling." He paused, his expression softening into something entirely genuine for just a fraction of a second. "Sleep well. I will be keeping watch."

And then the vampire melted into the shadows toward his own tent, leaving you to crawl into your bedroll with a warm, quiet smile.

Astarion settled gracefully in front of the crackling fire, tucking his legs beneath him with an elegance that seemed entirely effortless. He sat there, unblinking and unmoving. Seemingly still, but his thoughts were anything but.

For two centuries everyone fit into neat, predictable boxes. There were dangers to avoid, marks to manipulate and, most recently, blood bags to drain.

The orange light danced across his sharp features as he stared into the flames. You were not a target. You were not a night he’d rather forget. And, perhaps worst of all, you were no longer just his source of sustenance.

Then what in the world could you be?

(dividers by @saradika)

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@misscrissfemmefatale,

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[jiabisu]

[moojije]

I made Astarion using Astarion.

[vetochkarowan]

I’ve found the beginning of an army of snowbats! and the beginning of the story…. It was so long ago….

[vetochkarowan]

mac’s instagram

[morteraphan]

Happy.

Yes, I'm really sad about him and his story so I just want to draw him happy in my little doodles. Also, references:

[immerensiswrites]

Snippet #3

Note: Surprise, I write for other fandoms! Whenever I romance Astarion, I lament the fact that you can't do it without sleeping with him. Considering it's an option in Karlach's origin run, I wish it had been that way for Tav too, but alas. FYI, reader is implied to be a virgin for, like, one sentence.

Divider credit: @uzmacchiato

You can't say you've been to many parties in your life, but even you can tell that this one is, well—lacking.

The tieflings are likely using it as a reprieve from the anguish that has been their lives recently, you know that, but you can't help feeling like an outsider. Obviously you were, but you feel like you're simply sitting on the edges while the tieflings make merry with each other.

In your camp.

You try to expel your frustration with a long sigh. It doesn't make much sense to waste a peaceful night when you figure those will be hard to come by in the near future. You look around to take stock of your companions and see if they're faring any better then you are.

Karlach's booming laugh can easily be heard from across the camp. Though she has to keep her distance, she's beaming at the little group she's talking to, nearly choking on her own drink when one of them tells a joke.

Shadowheart disappeared from the get go, taking her personal stash of good wine all for herself. You can't blame her entirely, considering you would do the same if you were drinking tonight. Knowing her, she'll have a tiefling cozied up by her side to keep her warm and they'll be gone before the sun rises.

Everyone else is doing about what you expect. Lae'zel is disinterested in the whole thing, choosing to spar near her tent instead. Gale is nursing a bottle with a tome in his lap, watching over the party and smiling whenever the kids run past him. You're sure if it wasn't for the orb, he'd be trying to one-up Rolan and amaze as many people as possible with his prowess.

Wyll is…you don't actually know what Wyll is doing.

You look around, squinting to check if you missed him in the crowd, but no such luck. You circle the perimeter, smiling at drunk tieflings when you pass and stepping to dodge a splash of wine from someone's cup. You're about to tell Karlach the situation when you see a distinct shadow stretching in front of your feet.

Peeking through the rocks, you see Wyll sitting and watching the water gently ripple in front of him. You go to his side and tilt your head down at him. "Not in a party mood?"

Wyll blinks and looks up at you, shaken out of his trance. "Ah, hells. I was hoping you wouldn't notice I was gone."

You crouch down and settle next to him. "Why's that?"

"In truth, I don't feel in a festive mood, and didn't want to cast a gray cloud over the night." Wyll admits, looking back at the moon's reflection across the water. "I'm a devil. I love the people from the grove, but I unsettle them deep down—as I seem to unsettle everyone nowadays."

You rest your chin on your knees and watch the fronds sway in the breeze. "You don't unsettle me, you know that. Still, I'm sorry it has you feeling rough."

"If only the world had half the heart you do." Wyll muses with a sad smile. He shakes his head and motions back towards the crowd. "But, off with you! Have a dance, enjoy the music!"

You shrug. "I was sitting on a rock and people watching."

That has Wyll's eyebrows raising. "Oh? That's hard to believe. You should be having fun!"

You wave your hand. "Parties have never been my idea of fun anyway. I'll probably just head to bed early." You stand and dust off your pants. "Stay if you want, but you're more than welcome to find me if you change your mind."

Wyll gives you a nod and a warm smile. "I'll keep that in mind. Have a good night."

You wave and leave him to his thoughts. You couldn't fathom something like what's been done to him, but you could certainly understand wanting to just spend the night alone. Either way, you'll have to figure out how to help him get his confidence back up.

Scratch pads over and bumps his head against your leg, tail wagging so hard it shakes his body. You giggle and crouch down to scratch his chin. "Having a good time?"

He barks in agreement before running off when he sees someone waving him over. Gods, you loved that dog. You'd have to remember to throw his ball for him while everyone recovers from their hangovers tomorrow.

While you move away from the crowd, you stop and take a few steps backwards.

Astarion sits by his tent, noticeably alone.

You tilt your head. He looks rather displeased, too. You shift your weight from foot to foot before your conscience gets the better of you and you're changing course. At the very least, you can check on him and offer your blood if his night is going so terribly. He looks you up and down when you stop in front of him, and takes a long drink from the bottle in his hand.

"You know, I never pictured myself as a hero. Never thought I'd be the one they toast for saving so many lives. And now that I'm here…" He takes another drink. "I hate it. This is awful."

You snort. It's true you haven't know him for very long, but you can't say you're surprised by his reaction. "It's not that bad. Think of all the goblins you killed." You remind him, thinking back to how delighted he looked running around covered in their blood.

"True. That was fun. Still, I would've liked more for my trouble than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine."

Poor, poor Astarion. Woe is him for having to be nice for once. You sigh dramatically and look around. "I'll take your word on the wine. But, yes, the goblins would have thrown a wilder party for sure."

"All I want is a little fun. Is that so much to ask?"

"And what's your idea of a 'little fun'?" You question, expecting him to say something like 'gutting someone' or 'stealing candy from a child'.

"By the hells, sex, my dear. A night of passion." He purrs, leaning in towards you.

Huh?

You blink at him and you briefly think you must look like an owl with how wide your eyes are. Astarion seems more than amused by your reaction, his fangs peeking out when he smiles. He inhales like he's going to speak, but you quickly come to your senses to try and save yourself the situation.

"Well, I know Shadowheart already took off into the forest with the good wine, so she's your best bet."

Now it was Astarion's turn to blink like an owl. "What?"

You fidget and choose to look at his tent rather than his face. "I was actually about to go to bed? I wanted to check on you because you looked-" You nip that train of thought in the bud. "It doesn't matter. Good luck and if you need some blood you know where to find me!"

You turn on your heel and scurry to your tent, nearly toppling the whole thing on top of you with how hard you yank the flaps closed.

Nice going. Very smooth.

You groan and flop face down onto your bed roll. It would have been less awkward to tell him the truth, your own pride be damned. You turn over and stare at the ceiling, limbs splayed out like a starfish while you contemplate how to disappear quietly into the night to never be seen again.

Just so you don't have to bear the teasing that will inevitably come from whatever the hells that was.

You press your hands over your face, digging your palms into your eyes until colors bloom in your vision.Maybe Gale has a potion of sleep kicking around? No, you decide—even if he does, you can't fathom leaving the safety of your tent until daybreak.

You pray to any of the gods that sleep comes swiftly.

[immerensiswrites]

There's only one bed and I'll be taking it, darling.

Note: This is the unofficial follow up to snippet #3, but can totally be read as a standalone. Are they lovers? Are they friends? Are they something worse? Who the hell knows. This is written under the pretense that the confession in the shadow cursed lands didn't happen because it's fun to explore things like that!

Divider credit: @uzmacchiato

"Harold? Howard? Hum…Humbert…"

The owlbear cub looks at you with an expression that can only be described as displeasure. You huff and scratch his chin, ignoring the grime that builds under your nails as a result. "I could call you 'Itch', you know. Then you'd be matching Scratch."

"Yes, and then they could perform tricks on the street for gold. Do you think you can teach it to stand on its hind legs and spin around?"

You turn and glare at Astarion over your shoulder. "Ha, ha."

The vampire folds his arms and looks between you and the cub. "Does it really need a name? It's not like you can put a collar on that thing."

"He," You emphasize, "Is a member of our group and deserves a name like the rest of us." You look at the cub and brush back the feathers on his head. "How about Astarion jr.? What do you think about that?"

"You wouldn't dare!" Astarion gasps.

You raise a brow at him. "Wanna bet?"

The cub chirps in delight, hopping back and forth. You chuckle and grin at Astarion, who looks the most offended you've ever seen him.

"Relax, I'll come up with something else."

Astarion glowers at the little creature. "Mongrel."

You hum. "Still sore about the treat he gave you?"

"The tre- treat?!" Astarion rounds on you, hands waving every which way in a frustrated blur. "A treat would be a fat bear, not a dead rat on my pillow!"

You cover the owlbear cub's ears and fold your lips to hold back your laughter. "Okay, but did you have to fling it across the camp?"

"Would you two stop arguing over the cub so we can make a plan?!" Shadowheart yells.

Astarion stomps off towards the others, and you can't help but giggle a little when the owlbear cub chases after him. The vampire pointedly ignores you and plants himself at Lae'zel's side, which she rolls her eyes at.

Gods forbid you tease Astarion even a little bit to get back for the months of even worse behavior on his part.

Drama queen.

You stand between Gale and Karlach, joining the huddle around a map to decide your next course of action to reach Baldur's Gate.

"We need to reach Sharess' Caress and meet with Kith'rak Voss as soon as possible." Lae'zel insists. "Anything else is a distraction."

You glance at the multiple members of your party who have good reason to be apprehensive about entering the city. "Well, it's going to be at least another day to get there and we aren't going to walk through the night, so let's find an inn first and decide what to do once we're there."

"In theory, we could use dimension-"

You elbow Gale in the side.

"Ow!"

"We walked this far, a little more won't kill us." You say, leaning in to find any kind of settlements near your location on the map.

"Sounds like the all powerful sorcerer doesn't want to use up their magic, hm?"

You ignore Astarion and place your finger over the drawing of a little building. "This is an inn, right?"

Jaheira leans in and nods. "It may be a little expensive because that's a trade route, but yes."

Your mind wanders to all the gold your group has amassed through…certain means.

Borrowed, as you prefer to call it.

"We can afford a few rooms for one night." You decide, double checking the map before you roll it up and put it away.

Karlach groans and stretches her arms long over her head. "Gods, actual beds. Sorry in advance if you have to drag me out kicking and screaming."

You smile at her. "I'm sure I'll be in the same boat."

Her tent is right next to yours, so you pair off once the group separates to start packing. "Is your shoulder still bothering you?"

You roll it a few times and sigh. "Yep. I doubt sleeping on the ground this much is helping."

After a vine back in the shadow cursed lands latched onto your arm and nearly tore the damn thing off, your shoulder has had a persistent, twinging ache. Not to mention the scar was still raw and tender and chafed under anything you wore.

You were half tempted to get someone to cut off your sleeves entirely.

Karlach starts helping you take down your tent without needing to be asked, and you shoot her a grateful smile. "Are you nervous?" She asks, wrangling with the pliable support poles holding everything together.

"I don't know." You respond honestly. "Aren't I always nervous?"

Karlach looks at you and her expression is answer enough.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. You'd think I'd get used to it at some point." You grumble. "Sharess' Caress would be a good place to start, even if it's only so Lae'zel doesn't murder me in my sleep."

"I reckon she'd do it in broad daylight."

You snort and start folding the fabric of your tent to stow away in your pack.

"You would be dead before you could register the time." Lae'zel says as she walks past, looking down her nose at you.

Oops. You forgot her tent is on Karlach's other side.

You sheepishly smile, but the little smirk on her face lets you know she's joking.

Hopefully.

It doesn't take very long for the camp to be packed and ready, considering how often you've had to get up and go on this journey. One last quick scan to double check, and your group is setting off towards Baldur's Gate.

Many hours later, Astarion is glaring at you. Again.

"Next time, use your magic!" He hisses, bumping your shoulder with his.

He was already moody from not being able to feed on you while you recovered, and it was only made ten times worse when he tripped and chipped a nail.

The horror.

You exhale slowly through your nose and keep your eyes on the inn at the top of the hill ahead of you. You want to tell him everyone is tired, but he'd just snap back that it was your fault for not using your magic to get them there.

Still, you would take him being comfortable enough to be snappy with you over trying to charm you with bad pick up lines. It took a lot of effort on your part not to laugh when he tried to tell you he loved you. Your lack of sexual experience doesn't mean you can't see through pretty words, it seems.

Gentle light washes over you as you crest the hill, and your shoulders sag in relief. Halsin, who had taken to carrying the owlbear cub some time ago, steps aside. "I'll sleep under the stars with them, if that's alright with you." He nods towards Scratch and the cub.

"Fine by me. Sleep well, you three." You say with a wave. One less room to rent, and you doubt they would let an owlbear cub inside in the first place.

The rest of your group gathers inside, leaning against various walls and tables as they finally let themselves feel the exhaustion of the trek to get here. You drag a hand down your face and take a deep breath. You wish Astarion would handle the talking like he normally does, but something tells you he's not in the mood to do you any favors.

A stern looking woman stands behind the counter, but she's still helping someone, so you take the time to observe the inn while you wait. It's not too different from any other inn you've stayed at. The room is warmed by a fire that looks like it needs to be stoked, and there's a few patrons dotted at tables, nursing ales and wines until they'll eventually hopefully make it back to their rooms.

You don't care as long as there aren't rats here.

Though, the thought of Astarion waking up to another rat in his bed has you snickering under your breath.

"Something funny, or are you off your rocker?" The inn keeper asks, leveling you with a harsh look.

You clear your throat and step up to her counter. "A bit of both."

She doesn't pity you with even an exhale from her nose.

You motion to yourself and your group. "Any room for us?"

Her gaze is scrutinizing, and you're again sure that Astarion would be handling this better than you were.

"If you put two to a room, sure. Fare is one hundred gold."

You smile and reach for your bag to retrieve the money.

"Each."

You can practically feel the disappointment from your group at your back. As you're about to use the tadpole to beg Astarion for help, the inn keeper gives you a wry smile. "Relax, I'm pulling your leg. I'll cut it down to seventy since you look like you were dragged through the mud."

You let out a long sigh, but smile right after. "You have no idea. Thank you." You put the gold on the counter, adding a little extra as a thank you for putting up your objectively questionable troupe.

After grabbing the keys and turning back to them, you find that they've already paired up.

Mostly.

Gale and Wyll, Shadowheart and Karlach, Lae'zel and Jaheira. Which leaves…

You sigh. Again.

"I'm not happy about it either, darling."

You flick his ear and hand out the keys. Before everyone parts ways, Karlach grabs your arm and whispers to you. "Want me to leave the door unlocked?"

You wave your hand. "I'll be fine, he's just hungry."

"Yeah. That's why I'm asking."

Fair point.

You wave your hand again and bid everyone goodnight before you all trudge upstairs and into your separate rooms. Astarion is first in, and you smack square into his back when he stops short in the doorway. You huff and rub your nose, glaring at the back of his head. "Why'd you stop?"

Astarion steps aside and motions to the bed. The singular bed.

Gods damn it.

The bed is big enough to fit two people in theory, but they'd have to cozy up pretty close, so that's not happening.

Other than that the room is small and plain, but, it's clean—so you don't really care. There's a single dresser under the window and a little nightstand to the right of the bed, but the room is nearly bare otherwise. There's a woven tapestry on the wall above the bed, the colors swirling and long dulled with age. It's large enough that you wonder if it was hung to cover a hole in the wall. Perhaps something to check when you have any ounce of energy.

You kick the door shut behind you and drop your pack on the ground. "You take it."

Astarion is much too happy to plant himself down and stretch out. "Wise choice."

You bite back any snark and spread your bedroll at the foot of the bed. He's hungry and probably on edge because of how close you are to Baldur's Gate. You just have to keep reminding yourself that it isn't personal.

You hope.

You end up lying face down on your bed roll for a while, too stiff and sore to move, so Astarion steps over you to duck into the washroom and get rid of all the grime from the past few days. You're nearly asleep by the time he's done and nudging you with his foot. "Your turn. You smell like death."

"You would know, wouldn't you?" You grumble, pushing yourself up with your good arm. It comes out faster than you can stop it and you expect Astarion to bite back with something worse, but he simply shrugs in agreement. You dig your night clothes out of your bag and stumble your way to the washroom, not surprised that it's as frugal as the main room.

Over the past months of travel, you or one of the other spell casters would make do with water spells and rivers to get everyone clean (to a certain degree), so you don't waste magic making the water warm. You peel off your clothes and get to cleaning them first so they have time to dry overnight. The water runs various unpleasant shades, but at least you picked up some nice soap at the Last Light, so you wouldn't be doomed to keep smelling like sweat and dirt.

Astarion likely already has his clothes drying by the window, so you decide to use the basin edge for yours once you're done with it. The faucet is old and the sharp noise it elicits makes you wince, but soon enough the basin is slowly filling with tepid water. You step in while it fills, taking a moment to check yourself over.

Your scar is especially irritated from today, and you hiss when you probe it with your fingers. Thankfully, you're otherwise fine. Your feet are tired and you're generally grimy, but you didn't get bitten by any bugs or develop any blisters, so you were more than happy with the state of you.

The basin isn't big so it takes some twisting and creative thinking to get every part of you clean, but you finally do it. The only magic you use is to roughly dry your hair until you're sure it'll finish the job while you sleep. With everything taken care of, you re-enter the bedroom and head straight for your bedroll.

Astarion is propped up with his arms behind his head, and his gaze is on the window. You peek before you lie down, and you can faintly make out the outline of the city in the distance.

Your guess was right, then.

As much as you wanted to help, you had a sneaking suspicion things would be icy with Astarion until Cazador was dead. It made sense, obviously, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt when he was so short with you.

You hold back a sigh and fidget until you get into a position that's somewhat tolerable. You can't sleep on your back no matter how much you try, so you've taken to sleeping on your stomach with a balled up shirt as a cushion for your shoulder.

The crick neck was a pain in the ass, though.

You breathe slowly and close your eyes, trying to clear your mind so you can actually get some sleep.

You are unsuccessful.

Every time you feel yourself start to slip away, a problem on the horizon jumps to the front of your mind. Shar worshippers, Harpers, an old wizard who likes cheese, what to name the owlbear cub. Oh, and the tadpole in your brain and the impending doom it signifies.

All of it swirls in your mind before you give up with a harsh sigh. You resign to lying on your back and staring at the ceiling until you pass out or morning comes. Proper rest be damned.

You can faintly hear the crickets singing outside, and you wonder for a moment if you should go join Halsin and the animals.

"Would you get up here already? You're fidgeting like a kobold."

You blink. "Huh?"

"I can't sleep if you're moving all night long."

You peek over the footboard and narrow your eyes. You don't mention that technically he doesn't even need to sleep, lest he rescind his offer and kick you out instead. Your joints creak and pop when you stand, and when you look at Astarion again he's already moved to one side to make room for you.

Suspicion lingers in your chest, but the bed calls to you like a siren at sea, so you climb under the covers.

Good gods.

You feel your whole body practically melt. The mattress is old and the covers are rough, but right now you can't tell the difference between this and a fluffy cloud. You still have your wits about you, so you turn on your side and keep near the edge to give Astarion space.

You almost tear up when you realize the ache in your shoulder is already throbbing less.

"You cannot blame me for laughing if you tumble onto the floor." Astarion says, still sitting up against the headboard.

"Any closer and we'd be touching." You point out.

Astarion is quiet for a moment, then scoffs. "Most sane people would be jumping at that chance. Really—it's your loss, darling."

You turn over to face him. "It's not that I'm averse to touching you, Astarion. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"True, you're always draped over Karlach or Halsin." He muses, brushing past the second half of your statement.

"Karlach hasn't had any contact for ten years and Halsin is a bear half the time."

Astarion inspects his broken nail in the little light the window provides. You study his face, silver lined by the moonlight. His lips tug into a frown, and he's expertly avoiding looking at you entirely.

You reach out and place a single finger against his forearm.

"What the hells are you doing?"

"Touching you."

Astarion flicks your hand away. "Don't pity me."

You sit up and fold your arms. "Astarion."

He scowls at you and you can see his haunches are quickly raising.

"Please tell me what's going on." You ask. "You can be mad at me all day but I can't apologize if I don't know what I did wrong."

Atarion traces the seam of the blanket with his nail. "Do I disgust you?" He asks after a moment.

You're at a loss for words, only able to furrow your brows at him. "What?"

"Don't be coy, darling. You've rejected every one of my advances where others fall over themselves to even learn my name. It doesn't make any sense, does it?"

"Astarion-"

"You could have chosen any of our companions and you chose the bear? Really? The one who'd rather sit nude on a log for the rest of his life?"

"Astarion!" You cut him off. Your shoulders are raised towards your ears and your nails are digging into your arms. "What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not with Halsin, or anybody for that matter!"

Astarion narrows his eyes. "You think I haven't seen you sneak off with him at night?"

"You mean when we get honey?"

He clearly doesn't believe you. You take a deep breath to steady yourself and realize that you're going to have to finally face the music. "Astarion. I haven't slept with you or any of our companions, because I haven't slept with anyone."

At least that got his attention. He gives you a wary look. "You can't be serious."

"I will literally let you use the tadpole to see for yourself." You insist.

He blinks slowly. "Gods, you are serious. How?"

"What do you mean 'how'? It's pretty simple."

"Oh, come off it. A vision like you doesn't make it through life without at least being propositioned!"

You shrug, your hands waving uselessly in front of you while you try to explain. "Thank you for your faith in me, but I truly haven't. It just hasn't been in the cards."

Astarion taps his finger against his lips while he looks at you. "Have you pleasured yourself?"

Heat immediately licks up the back of your neck and you fumble for your pillow, smacking it firmly against his arm. "Don't ask things like that so casually!"

Astarion catches the pillow to stop the assault, and his eyes are full of mirth when he sets it down again. "Yes, yes, curiosity killed the cat." He relaxes against the headboard, all the tension melting from his posture. "I'm glad to hear it wasn't just me, then. I was worried we'd have to find an asylum for you."

"Yeah, yeah. You can make fun of me for tonight but anything later and I will shock you." You warn him, sinking back under the covers.

"Sure you will, darling." He hums.

You should have taken Karlach up on her offer.

"Don't you need beauty sleep?" You grouse, smacking the pillow into shape.

"Not as much as you do."

You glare at him after he settles down. This wasn't a finished conversation, you were sure of that. You had a hunch he took the newfound information as an out to avoid discussing what was truly bothering him, but you weren't going to push your luck tonight.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get us here faster." You say quietly. "My magic has been…acting up."

Astarion turns his head to look at you. "How so?"

You shrug, pulling the covers up to your chin. "It feels weaker. I think it might be because we're getting closer to the nether brain, or at least that's my best guess. I didn't want to risk something going wrong."

Astarion exhales through his nose, but it's not born from frustration. "You should have said something."

"I know." You admit. "I just…don't want anyone to think I'm weak."

A pale hand reaches out to brush your cheek. You raise a brow at him.

"A stray lash." He explains. "You're never allowed to tell them I said this, but no one in our group of weirdos is stupid enough to think you're weak."

You laugh a little. "Aw, you do care!"

Astarion yanks the covers over your head. "Good night!"

"Thank you." You say when you reemerge. "Oh, before I forget, have you fed on anything recently? Besides rats on your pillow."

"A deer there, a goblin there. The usual." Astarion says, grimacing at your reminder of the rat incident.

"Feed on me, then." You say simply, getting comfortable and closing your eyes.

You can't see the fond look on Astarion's face, and you're fast asleep before you can feel the ghost of his lips against your brow.

Your neck is sore when you wake up, and you know this time it isn't from sleeping on the ground.

Astarion is already up and basking in the sun like he normally does, and he turns to you with a pleased smile. "Good morning, darling."

The lack of blood was definitely part of his attitude.

"Morning." You say, stretching your limbs out. "Is anyone else up?"

"They're all being loud downstairs." Astarion says with a dismissive wave of his hand.

You squint, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, your mind still not fully awake. "What time is it?"

"Just past noon? I haven't been keeping track."

"What?!"

"Oh, relax! You aren't the only one who slept in. Apparently Shadowheart had to break into Jaheira's room to escape Karlach's snoring." Astarion says, snickering at the image.

You flop back against the bed. Okay, you could work with a late start to the day. You could still make it to Sharess' Caress in time to meet with Voss, and then work your way into the lower city-

A finger presses the spot between your brows. "I can hear your thoughts from here. At least save the planning until after breakfast."

"I can't help it."

"Try."

You grumble and stare at the ceiling again.

Hm.

Hm.

"Owlstarion…"

"I beg your pardon?"

You sit up, your face splitting into a wide grin. "I'm a genius!"

"No, no! We are not giving the mongrel that name!"

You leap out of bed to dodge his attempts to stop you, your laughter brightly ringing around the room. "It's perfect!"

"It's horrendous!" Astarion retorts.

The two of you stand still for a moment. Your cheeks nearly hurt from smiling, and Astarion is giving you a look so dirty, it would give anyone else the chills.

He lunges for you, but you're already stepping back and yanking the door open. "Karlach! I had an epiphany!"

You hear Astarion groan as you bound down the stairs. "You are the worst!"

"You love me!" You call over your shoulder, grabbing the banister to whip around the corner and find your companions.

Astarion sighs and stoops down to grab the shoes you forgot in your haste.

"Yes, I suppose I do."

[dierdre-despair-and-destiny]

Me because Im scrolling FOREVER just to fine new fics 😔

Tumblr should have a shuffle option when your on a tag

[ayselluna]

Lowkey me on astarion fanfics coz i’m still waiting for updates for so long 🥲

[starkcheater]

Ravaged Beach🐙

[swordsbardkat]

"I found so many victims for Cazador here. The kind of people no-one would miss."

[drmace]

[wolfinagg]

The Death Knight

Astarion ( Baldur's Gate 3)

[rishnea]

😌

[spawnbeneath]

Silken Bonds: The Headcanons of Astarion the Tailor

Summary: NSFW Astarion Tailor x you discover d\s things, gentle, soft, and silky ribbons

Sometimes his wish to sew clothes for you intertwines with another, more intimate longing. Together, you explore different kinds of pleasure, sharing what you both crave.

Astarion asks you to stand perfectly still while he pins the fabric. He enjoys your patience and the way you obediently follow his pace. “Don’t move, my sweet… let me shape you perfectly,” he whispers. You quickly sense his mood, and before long, it carries you both to the bedroom.

One day, when passion suddenly overtook you… Neither of you remembers who suggested it - it just happened in a single moment, when you noticed the silk ribbons lying around and exchanged glances. Astarion gently tied your wrists together, making a perfectly charming bow, and whispered: - “These ribbons suit you so well, my beautiful”

He embroiders words on the inside of your dress — words no one will ever see. Sometimes, they’re even deliciously wicked.

He slowly helps you out of your old dress, layer by layer. His hands are confident yet gentle. “Let me undress you… I’ll do it just right,” his voice low and velvety.

One day he warned you: during the fitting, if you moved too much, you’d be “a naughty little thing.” You did it on purpose, just as he was adjusting the hem. The next moment, you felt his breath on the inside of your knee, followed by playful little bites. “So you decided to be naughty, did you? Now what am I going to do with you…”

Astarion had long planned to make you a dress with a high collar. For that, he needed to measure your neck - and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it indifferently, so he braced himself for it. He measured your neck with a soft ribbon, holding it there a little longer than necessary. You caught yourself smiling at his focus, at how hard he was trying to stay composed. When you touched him lower, he immediately kissed you, still holding the ribbon. Astarion tightened it just slightly. He pulled back, ruby eyes locked on your reaction. And then you tightened the ribbon even more. “Oh, my darling…” - his voice was surprised, but full of joy. There was so much love in his gaze it made your breath catch. And then he showed that love on your skin - hungry and impatient… That day, he never did get your neck measurements, but instead, your neck was left adorned with his playful little marks.

[why-the-hell-do-i-exist]

I doubt Astarion ever gets completely used to you sleeping beside him. You, a fool, happily lays beside a creature that only knows blood and death. A mouse that steps into the jaws of a cat and expects them not to close.

And yet, there you are. You sleep soundly beside him, you reach for him in your dreams, you sigh happily when you holds you.

He doesn’t believe it most days. He touches your wrist to feel your pulse thump slow and steady beneath his thumb. He rests a hand against your chest to feel the rise and fall of your lungs beneath your ribs. His fingers slip beneath your sleep shirt just to feel the warmth of you, to watch you wiggle away from his chilled touch, to hear your sleepy grouse.

An alive thing lays beside him. Flesh and bone, muscle and fat. You.

You’re a fool, he knows it as do you. But you’re his fool and that thought makes his old, dead heart do something similar to beat, just a little.

[njuta]

some of astarion’s consorts/wives/girlfriends/exes and future romantic entanglements 🫀

quick credits, top to bottom, left to right:

picture 1: @pastureghost artemis @rubyeyebabybat | @bloodinwine @njuta (me) @olivedrop | @mellybaggins @preciouslittlebhaalbae Matcha Mischief

picture 2: @brabblesban @anacdoce @lamp-snail | @schuldigkun @litsenn @xxnashiraxx | @weirdmullosk @spacesunderstairs @endorennaao3

picture 3: @meeshrox @emilythecosmicbat @vakariansyndrome | @aevallare @motherzhiv @roguishcat | @loserscardigan @irondeficienttav | @bludazey

i  didn’t keep the references open while drawing, so i know i missed some details (skin tones, elf ears etc). some things  (tattoo, freckles, bright lipsticks) were simplified or removed for style, but if i got anything wrong just let me know and I’ll fix it 🫀

full credit and fic links under the cut!

and here’s where i admit i’m not much of a reader, and i haven’t read the vast majority of these fics. but i love ocs a lot and this is my way of giving back to all this community has given me! these are all very neat characters and y’all should do yourselves a favour and check them out!

picture one

percy from pot, kettle by @pastureghost. this writing is so good y’all. she really gets inside percy’s head and it paints the whole narrative and percy is just SUCH an interesting character. she does the socially awkward/insecure tav so well. just dropped a new chapter too, go check it out!!

styx from renowned AO3 commenter Artemis_the_gr8. she has left me SO many thoughtful comments. she truly gets astarion 🫀or at least my interpretation of him, haha. i had to simplify styx’s tattoos a lot for this collage; she looks so much cooler in reality and i hope we get to see fic of her someday 🫀🫀

mahina from rubies and whiskey by @rubyeyebabybat. i’m so gay for this tav lol. so cool and thoughtfully written and competent! she feels very realised in her backstory, personality and appearance, and it all ties together into a full character. and she’s hot and has a cool tattoo. the exact type of person i’d want to put out cigarettes on me.

effy from until you by @bloodinwine. my faavee🫀🫀 effy feels so fucking real. she’s so magical and wonderful and human and flawed and until you is the best thing written in this fandom—if you haven’t read it go do so. and i’m so proud to be able to call june a friend too she’s the loveliest.

myla from elegy to benevolent hearts by me. three raccoons in a trenchcoat. absolute disaster, tacky, smells bad. 0/10 but she’s learning!! bhaals school for hot white girl drow just didn’t teach you words like “i’m sorry i stabbed you again.”

jaz from made for this by @olivedrop. such a hottie i would make us both miserable during a summer fling. and olive! olive is such an effortless cool person that when i started reading made for this, i was convinced jaz would be cool as fuck. and kind of! at times! and at other times, a bit of a floundering mess haha. this fic is so sweetly written please go read. 

morwen from oathbreaker by @mellybaggins. if i could read, this is what i’d read haha. i heard so much positive stuff about morwen and her development! and just from reading about her on tumblr she’s very cool for being an high-functioning alcoholic. i love characters with depth and development and issues and all that and morwen hits all of the boxes down to the equivalent of a “no ragrets” facial tattoo.

erin from indelible imprints by @preciouslittlebhaalbae. another one i heard good stuff about their development from! honestly i think i had just drawn three characters with long black hair in a row and was looking for something different. and a little butterfly told me that the author was lovely! what can i say i love blue hair and pronouns.

eirwen from one last thrust by Matcha Mischief. it was love at first sight when I saw the pictures of this doll on reddit. look at her!! she’s so cute and and squishy and sexy!! and then you see the fics and it’s all dark fuckery fucking & she’s obsessive and wild-hot :> lovely gal.

picture two

ban from whither thy beloved gone by @brabblesban. i have said before and i’ll say it again: visually, ban is my favourite tav with astarion. they look so good together!! and i am happy to say there’s a lot of images of them to chose from. ban has been so kind to me in this fandom, and she’s now making delightful 3d artwork, but started out as one of the big astarion writers. it’s not often you see longer fics being finished in this fandom, so please check this one out.

raven from untitled by @anacdoce. the raven longfic hasn’t been published yet, but you can read snippets on anacdoce’s blog, and, in the meantime, check out some of her other writing? plenty of astarion/reader to soothe your soul 🫀anacdote is an absolute sweetheart too, and raven herself has this lovely vulnerability to her that just makes you ache a little. she’s super cute too—exactly the kind of tav who makes you understand why astarion would trip over himself in a heartbeat. but im biased since she has the same in-game face as myla, haha.

dreya from stronger together by @endorennaao3. i made a reddit post from a throwaway account asking for complicated tavs, and endorenna sent me such a lovely dm that i had to draw dreya lol. it was just so overflowing with the love and thought she put into this character. and it is a delightful character too: dreya is brave, compassionate, and a little too willing to see the good in people. but under that strength she’s fragile, struggling with self-loathing and a patron who won’t let her go. 

irrae from please don’t make me try spell this darthiir lueth dhaerow by @schuldigkun. i briefly beta’d this fic for a while ‘cause the concept hooked me: a fleshed-out, well-researched lolth-sworn drow tav. irrae is everything you’d expect—ruthless, dangerous, delicious backstory—and then some. she’s fascinating on her own, but what really makes it hot is how she clashes and colludes with Astarion. two sharp, dangerous people circling each other with knives behind their backs? hella.

ellith from i call them friends by @litsenn. a durge after my own heart so naturally im obsessed ahaha. bloodthirsty, vivacious, and just a little bit silly—they got that sparkle that makes you want to follow them into very bad decisions. and  litsenn is brilliant—check our her astarion analysis posts, they have some interesting insights. and all the fics she has are of a length even my (lack of) attention span find appealing, so spend a few minutes checking ‘em out. you’ll come out bloodstained and grinning.

ofelia from with stars to fill my dreams by @xxnashiraxx. ofelia and nyari were the reasons this ended up as a 3³ thingie rather than a 5x5 with 25 characters like originally intended. i had drawn ofelia, wasn’t happy with how she turned out, dropped her in favour of another character—and then it was like suddenly i was seeing xxnashiraxx being so damn altruistic all over the internet. commenting on fics, being thoughtful in replies, sharing posts. i told @bloodinwine and she let me know that not only is ali an absolute sweetheart, ali had also made a series of tav portraits. and it’s much more involved than this is!

ofelia is cool too but seriously go show this person some love.

rhaenyra from noblesse oblige by @weirdmullosk. man what an unique tav. man what an unique concept (spawn astarion and her, in the underdark building an army). the fic is sadly not updated anymore but i still had to draw rhaebabe because i miss her & she can step on me.

halinae from under the sussur tree by @spacesunderstairs. i have since long stanned hal from afar. she feels like a lil rabbit, and i’m just a big fan of when they’re gentle, yet flawed🫀and im a big fan of drow, and especially drow that take the drow-ness into consideration! and this one has and hal still managed to emerge both kind and a bit cowardly. check ‘em out!

minx from as we were by @lamp-snail. not updated anymore but one of my fav fics :< time travel and all that. minx is hilarious and gods favourite soldier. she also had chemistry with absolutely every character, there’s no one i didn’t want minx to get with.

picture three

hydie from all it cost me by @meeshrox. meesh showed up in a server of mine over a year ago, bushy-tailed and bright-eyed and immediately showed an level of note-taking and outlining that i had never seen before my entire life. it was insane y’all. and she was like “yeah i haven’t written anything like this before” but i have three books of this planned and mentally i was like “ok, sure. good luck i guess.” but she did it!! or she is still doing it; a year later and still regularly publishing updates! hydie is a delightful durge; an absolute freak but also someone that just feels older and world-weary and still pretty nutsy at times. check her out!

emily by @emilythecosmicbat. i just love this whole concept so much!! emily and xulia and astarion has such a unique thing going on—xulia is the durge and astarion’s wifey and all that and emily is one of their consorts—and they have so much rich lore and it just clicks all the happy buttons in my brain to see them. and emily-the-author is an absolute doll too and brings such good energy to this fandom and i hope everyone has seen her bats. the true batstarion queen haha.

tavitha from i wanna be yours by @vakariansyndrome. this is the only tav i had to redraw from scratch because i drew her too hot, let that speak for itself :> but that version was also missing the spunk this character has! and vakariansyndrome is so so so lovely and does so much for newcomers to this fandom 🫀

auri from kindred by @aevallare. this is the fourth version of auri i’ve drawn. i almost gave up and excluded her until next version of this project but last second i was like. no. she has to be there. alex has always been very kind to me, and very gracious in general whenever i’ve seen her join a server and immediately get hoarded by adoring fans. and something she said about astarion when i was just starting out trying to write my first chapters—that he is, first and foremost, a survivor—always stuck with me. hope these two get their happy ending soon 🫀

zhivraelle from these scars @motherzhiv. honestly? zhiv is the most gorgeous tav of them all. go look at the screenshots! and her and astarion go so well together; it’s one of those pairings where it’s like. yes. them. star-crossed lovers. both zhiv-the-character and zhiv-the-creator are absolute sweethearts; i have never before in this fandom met a person so grateful for so little. shoujo heroines, both of them haha.

coraline from chasing perfection by @roguishcat. so roguishcat followed me on tumblr pretty early on. and me, not understanding tumblr, didn’t follow back until today and instead just clicked their name whenever they liked one of my post since not a lot of people did. and their feed was always so supportive of others! i’m happy they had a fabulous tav for me to draw—cora is so fun, i love a bitching schemer that will outmanevoer instead of hit hard. also a big fan of when the absolute knockout characters are a bit vain about it; it’s hard work! such a unique tav please check her out.

evie ray from with your boots underneath my bed by @loserscardigan. coming in with a great argument for “save a horse, ride a cowgirl”; i just saw evie’s design when loserscardigan followed me on tumblr and decided that I Must Draw The Hat. the hat was a pain to draw, but evie was so much fun! i love how strong her entire character comes across and i’m so intrigued by the concept of her. she has a chip in her neck?? dagger chains?? a gladiator??? tragic lack of engagement on this fic with a character this cool and interesting; please check it out.

nyari from what binds us by @irondeficienttav. irondeficienttav followed me on tumblr and they had a tumblr header that resonated with me so hard that i immediately decided to draw their tav. but alas, i had a million tumblr windows open with tavs i wanted to draw, and they got lost… until i saw a post of theirs that just struck me as brave to write. so once more i was compelled to add nyari!righteous paladin trying to deal with aa; how could i not. i was trying to simplify the tattoo but in the end the simplified design ended up just as messy as the original one, haha. 

lilith from hellish rebuke by @bludazey. blu is one of those rare people that will reblog tav art that does not contain astarion and it makes my heart swell every time. my bread and butter as i hate drawing the stupid sexy vampire. lilith starts out fragile, but what makes her shine is how much she grows across the story. hellish rebuke is one of the big-name astarion fics in the fandom, and it’s completed, so you can binge the whole arc right now. and once you’re hooked? there’s a sequel already underway so go go go.

the creators of the characters are free to repost, use, and modify these portraits however they want. no credit is necessary, but if you do want to credit a fic link is extra appreciated! otherwise its njuta on tumblr, psykiatrin (elin) on discord and hyena on ao3. i really should solidify my brand a bit…

you can download all images (with and without background) here. and also see some alternative versions for some tavs!