San's lips brush over your neck, casually seducing you and encouraging your pulse to pick up. With his hands on your hips, he controls your every breath, drawing each soft exhale from you as his fingers dig into your skin.
It's not the first time you've been tempted to give yourself up to the playboy. Somehow you always end up in these situations, where he manages to corner you and you struggle to give yourself a valid reason to say no to him. The truth of the matter is that you don't want to say no - you just don't want to give him what he wants so easily. You enjoy being chased, and there's no guarantee that he'll come back for more once he's satisfied.
The back of the empty art classroom isn't exactly the most attractive hookup spot, what with the countertops cluttered with art supplies and half-finished sculptures drying by the windows, but he drowns it all out with the whispering of his breath across the cusp of your ear.
"How long are you going to make yourself wait, sweetheart?"
From his place behind you, he can't see the way you melt at the pet name, and for that you're endlessly grateful. Voice dripping with sass, you respond, "What's it to you?"
"You're just so tense..." San's thumbs press circles into your lower back, right in the spot where your shirt and jeans meet. "Denying yourself for this long can't be easy."
You don't respond, instead using every ounce of your will to not audibly moan at the delicious pressure he applies to your back. His thumbs slip under the hem of your shirt as his hands move towards your waist.
"You're awfully confident," you complain, but the pleasured, breathy tone of your voice gives away the truth that he has every reason to be as confident as he is. You're terribly affected by him and it's entirely obvious that he knows it.
"Would you have me any other way?" San is unapologetic, only concerned with seeing just how deeply he can unravel you this time.
Of course, your patience has worn incredibly thin. You've danced with him like this so many times, and it's just so tempting to let his hands wander, to finally let yourself feel his lips pressed hungrily against yours.
"Then how long are you going to wait?"
San chuckles lowly at your veiled confession. "I'm not an asshole, sweetheart. I'm going to need to hear an enthusiastic yes from you if you want me to do something about this."
He wraps an arm around you, pulling you back against him, and his hand comes to cup your face, forcing you to lock eyes. His gaze is fierce, the lines of his nose and jaw stealing your breath.
"Do you want me?" San asks, his eyes following the curve of your lips. He's so ridiculously gorgeous, and you know you don't have a choice.
"Yes! Of course I do, yes."
The corner of San's mouth lifts into a devastating smirk. "That's my girl."
Your heart flutters at his words, and again when he closes the gap between his lips and yours, crashing into you with more heat than your poor body can handle. Just like that, he claims complete and total ownership of your life, fully responsible for the pounding of your heart. You're nearly convinced that you might die if he ever stops kissing you.
You finally let yourself reciprocate his touch. You hold onto his strong forearm as you turn yourself to face him, and your fingers tuck into the front pocket of his jeans to pull his hips in closer.
San takes a step towards you, trapping you back against the counter as his tongue dives into your mouth, tangling with yours. A soft whimper reverberates in your throat - you never expected him to be so delicious.
You lift yourself up onto the counter only so you can wrap your legs around his hips, drawing him close before burying your fingers in his long, dark hair. Eager, he rolls his hips slightly, granting you a momentary flash of friction that drives you absolutely wild.
You don't know how long you go on like that, attempting to devour each other, before he releases you, but you know your time together is far from over.
"Come to my place," San breathes heavily, pressing his forehead against yours and clasping your hand in his.
Words evade you, and you just nod your head in agreement.
"Did you already forget, sweetheart?" He squeezes your hand almost tenderly. "Use your words."
You huff, but squeeze back, looking up at him sweetly. "I want to go to your place."
"Good girl." San presses one more hot kiss to your lips and helps you down from the counter. "Let's go."
I'm going to post content for all kinds of other groups there, like this little Ateez blurb. I'll also link to all of my bts, ptg, and skz content that I post on other blogs.
If I choose to write more bts content, I'll still post it to ayyosuga. But if you're interested in reading my content for other groups, follow @totalmultistantrash!
Maybe one day I’ll come to terms with the fact that BTS’s original sound is gone for good. RM teased me real good with Persona, but it’s the only song on the album that’s reminiscent of their old stuff. Even though Dionysus has a darker rock vibe, it’s so saturated with auto tune that it can hardly even be compared to their old music.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m enjoying the album. I just get a little sad with each comeback because I miss the old BTS so much. I guess if they had sounded like this from the beginning, I wouldn’t have fallen so in love with them. I fell in love with their raw hip hop sound. So now I’m just getting to be okay with this new sound because it’s them, you know?
It’s like when you start dating someone and they’re the perfect fit for you. They’re everything you want in a partner. Every time you’re with them, you get even the smallest of mood boosts.
But then they start to grow and change. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just different.
And you still care about the person they are, but they’re just different.
Maybe you start to relate to them a little less. Maybe their interests have changed and you don’t have quite as much in common anymore.
You see them flourishing, and you’re glad that they’re growing. But you start to question whether or not you still belong together. You start to miss how things were before.
It just doesn’t feel quite as ‘right’ anymore.
I don’t think there’s a single bad song on the album (although I’m pretty disappointed with Dionysus). They’re all powerful and compelling in their own ways. It’s just not what I want from them.
Intro: Persona makes me so, so happy. We have the female vocal element from RM’s verse in Intro: Skool Luv Affair (the first BTS album I ever purchased). We have RM’s clean, crisp vocal tone. We have complex rap. We have a catchy hip hop hook (maybe it’s not technically a hook but you know what part I’m talking about). Literally everything about this song is perfect and there’s not a single thing I would change. THIS IS THE BTS I USED TO KNOW AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY. If the whole album had been like this song, I would have cried happy tears for the rest of my life.
Boy With Luv has that groovy retro sound that I absolutely love. It’s super fun, and Halsey’s addition to the song is awesome. It’s a total bop. I have no doubt that they’re going to gain a billion more fans with this track. Honestly, it’s probably the best title track they’ve put out since BS&T. But it’s not the BTS I used to know.
Mikrokosmos is beautiful in that ethereal sort of way. It has so much movement, such a sense of being propelled forward through space. I haven’t looked up the lyrics, but it gives me such a hopeful, innocent vibe. And the tempo change at the first chorus? BEAUTIFULLY EXECUTED. That, my friends, is how you successfully increase the movement of the song without making it sound cheesy (my biggest gripe about the beat in Just Fine). Going from that 6/8 feel to a double-speed 12/8 feel is just perfect. It’s absolutely incredible. This is probably one of my favorite songs on the album. But it’s not the BTS I used to know.
Make It Right has this almost nineties-pop beat, overlaid with that muted horn sound that’s echoed in the vocals. This one just makes me want to dance. I want to learn all of the words and sing along. But it’s not the BTS I used to know.
HOME gives me the same body-rolling vibe as “What I Like” by Bruno Mars (at least, during the verses). The auto tune is a little (a lot) heavier than it needs to be, and I think it could be a great, sexy song without all of that auto tune - it adds such a metallic sound and covers up the natural beauty of their voices. (Not all voice distortion is bad - the distortion used in Boy In Luv was very tastefully done and added a whole level of grunge to the song.) It’s not the BTS I used to know.
Jamais Vu - ugh this one is so emotionally powerful. again, I haven’t taken the time to look up any of the lyrics yet, but based off of the vocals & music alone, it just tugs at my heart. Kind of gives me the same emotions as Magic Shop. There are a few harmonically cool moments in this one (they’re small, but they’re there), which i absolutely live for. All in all, a really awesome ballad addition to the album. But it’s not the BTS I used to know.
Dionysus was obviously intended to be a throwback to their old sound, but it doesn’t do justice to their original music. Their old music had more elements of authentic rap, but this is so trendy with all of the auto tune and basic rhythmic patterns. It feels like a parody of what their music used to be. It’s not the BTS I used to know.
I fell in love with what I thought was an authentic hip hop group (as authentic as you can get with Kpop idols, I guess). They’ve ventured so far into this electropop (fused with trendy rap styles and overuse of auto tune) territory that they are simply not the same anymore.
I love BTS. I will probably always listen to their new music as it comes out. I’m just hoping that one day I’ll figure out how to accept this new BTS fully, or even as its own entity.
Now excuse me while I listen to Intro: Persona on repeat.
Excuse you? People can still give out valuable writing advice even if they are not published. Besides, not being published does not mean someone is a bad writer.
I assume by being “published” you mean through a publisher and not through self-publishing. Most publishers are for-profit. Meaning they want to make money. However, they don’t like taking chances and spend money on publishing a book that might not sell well. No matter how good of a writer you are, the chances of hearing “Sorry, there is no market for your book”, are extremely high unless you have something to show for it:
Followers on social media, success of your self-published book, email subscribers, website traffic, etc. Anything that shows the publisher that your book will sell increases your chances of being published dramatically. Many times, writers are approached by the publisher!
I have had this conversation with many of my writer friends, and some of them think this is unfair. What you often see is famous people writing a mediocre book and using their fame to have it become a best-seller. Except I don’t think it’s unfair. It’s business. As a writer, you are your own business. Many writers seem to forget this fact!
Let’s take Lang Leav as an example. You might have heard of her as she was dominating the poetry section on Tumblr in ‘13 and ‘14. She amassed many followers on Tumblr by sharing her poetry. She then self-published her book ‘Love & Misadventure” and promoted it on Tumblr.
“How did you get published?
I self-published my first book, Love & Misadventure. As soon as it was listed for sale, my book began to top best-seller charts and caught the attention of two literary agents in New York. I signed up with Writers House and was promptly offered a publishing deal by Andrews McMeel.” (source)
My honest opinion about her work is that it’s poetry for the masses and that she is not necessarily an astounding or great poet. However, her first book has 38,943 ratings on Goodreads (source)
Key to success? Posting her work online, good branding, nice poetry, building a loyal following.
Let’s take fifty shades for example. (YES)
E.L. James used to write twilight fanfiction. Many people loved her Twilight fanfiction so a publisher called The Writer’s Coffee House contacted her, they changed all the names in her work, and the rest is history.
I hope this explains it a little. Publishers mitigate the risk of their investment not being profitable by publishing books that have a high chance of being successful. There are many great, unpublished writers out there sharing valuable advice. Those people not being published has more to do with them not knowing how to increase their chances of being published, rather than being a bad writer.
Currently on a bus from Nice to Paris. It’s a 13 hour drive so I am going to dump a lot of information for people who want to sell a book right now or ten years from now. The sooner you start using this strategy, the more successful you will be.
First of all, if you have a lot of reach (audience), meaning that you have a few thousands of followers on social media, and a publisher contacts you, you always want to ask them if you can self-publish first! Always! If they refuse, you really want to think twice about signing their contract. Why? Because publishers are using your followers to sell your own book to. Self-publishing gives you around ~70% profits. Publishers often offer you a contract giving you 20%. Shady af. I don’t like that shit and I so often see small authors being used like that. Yes, publishers do help with editing etc., but depending on your reach, it’s up to you to decide if hiring an editor yourself isn’t a much better option. So, always SELL to your own fans first self-published if you can. THEN, if the publisher thinks your book has potential beyond your followers, work with them and sign the contract. Don’t let them profit off your fanbase and then leave you hanging.
If you are going to write a book, you need to talk about it! A lot. At least 6 months in advance. Preferably two years. You need to build up some anticipation among your followers. You need people to be aware of it and WANT it. It’s like a book. You don’t just tell your readers the plot in 5 sentences and that’s the book. You need to build up the story. And then BOOM, Karen just turned page 170 and she doesn’t know what’s coming for her, but she’s gonna be shook and love it. Same with promoting your book. Nobody is gonna give a shit if you say: “oh hi, you didn’t know but I wrote a book. You can buy it here”. You gotta talk about it long before you publish it.
Chances are, you don’t have a following at all. In this day and age, social media is all the hype. There is this misconception that you need millions of followers to make a living online. Not true. Let me introduce you to 1,000 True Fans, an article written by Kevin Kelly in 2008. Read it. It’s eye-opening and practical!
“A creator, such as an artist, musician, photographer, craftsperson, performer, animator, designer, videomaker, or author – in other words, anyone producing works of art – needs to acquire only 1,000 True Fans to make a living.”
How to get 1000 fans as a writer (also works for artists)
Your main focus should be on creating content and growing your reach (audience). Focus on building an email list and a simple website. Why an email list? For the same reasons everyone else always asks for your email: so they can reach you.
Many content creators struggle with two things: algorithms and platforms dying.
Instagram’s algorithm makes it so that if someone doesn’t hit ‘like’ on your content for a while, your content gets pushed all the way to the bottom of their feed. Why? Because IG wants you to stay on their app as long as possible and thus shows people the content they interact with the most first. The second reason is, at some point people are not going to use their Myspace, Tumblr, Wattpad, or Instagram account anymore. Someone might have a million followers on Myspace, but right now, if they update their profile, maybe a thousand people will see it if they are lucky. So, how do you keep reaching the people who followed you in the first place? EMAIL.
Email is fantastic for two reasons:
There are no algorithms. People see your email based on the time you sent it.
People do not change their email as much as they do social media.
So, if you ever shoutout your book or art store, you are guaranteed that everyone on your email list sees it.
I recommend MailChimp for sending batch emails. It’s free for up to 1,200 email subscribers, and that’s plenty for small businesses.
But how do you get people to sign up for your email list? Well, there are a million ways to that, but first, we need our website and we need to actually reach people!
Let’s first focus on reaching people
Create a social media account on each platform that makes sense to you. Opt for the same username everywhere to strengthen your brand. Then post your content to each and every single one of these platforms, but add in a call to action. Write a personal caption on Instagram, or write things in the tags on Tumblr. The best advice I can give to writers on Tumblr is to reblog writing prompts and write a story and include a ‘READ MORE’.
Many people don’t like to make the commitment to read something long without knowing what it’s about. A writing prompt is the perfect intro and increases the number of people reading your story.
By including a ‘read more’ people have to visit your Tumblr blog. Have a nice bio, and end your story with something personal and a call to action, this skyrockets the number of followers you will get.
Now the problem is: getting people to reblog your story. You could try DMing bigger blogs, but chances of them reblogging your story are slim. DM your followers instead and ask them to reblog your story if they want. If you don’t have followers, go through a tag of your choosing. Filter on ‘recent’ and DM those. You need to hustle a bit. It doesn’t matter if you wrote the story today or two years ago. If you think it’s good content, then you can self-promote it until it gains traction.
For Instagram: Never use popular tags. Avoid them like the plague. I would even go as far as to not use tags at all. But if you use them, only choose niche tags. Why? Bots. There are so many of them. You NEVER want bots following you on Instagram. Every time you post something new, your post gets ‘tested’ in batches of followers. 20% (this is not proven, but I feel pretty confident about this number) out of the first few people who see your post need to like it, or else Instagram stops pushing your content out to more people. Bots never like your posts. If your post fares well and stays above the 20% it gets pushed out to more people, and it will eventually land on the explore page. I don’t have much experience using tags, but if you use them, make sure bots do not target them.
Post your content everywhere. Writing on Wattpad. Art on DeviantArt etc., and always link to your website! All your socials must link to your website, this is key to build your email list.
Also, quick tip for IG, if you want to grow really fast, make sure your content is well received. Most of your post should have a like/follower rate of 20%. In the beginning, the increase in followers is barely noticeable. But once you have 1k followers, it snowballs! Furthermore, some Instagram pages, often businesses, have a terrible like/follower ratio. Less than 1% of their followers like their content. Why do they even bother with Instagram? Only a small portion of their followers see their content since so few people like it, and so it doesn’t get pushed to the feeds of the rest of their followers. Why do they bother? Email. Many businesses, big or small, use their Instagram account as a funnel to get email subscribers. Email is always more important to a business than followers for email lasts much longer and isn’t subject to algorithms, except the spam filter. However, if you are on Instagram as an artist or writer, strive for both: high engagement and collecting emails.
Now that you are having your email list, website, and your social media accounts are growing, it is time to promote your newsletter (email list) beyond the links to your website on social media. We are striving for 1k email subscribers. It’s not a lot. My advice is to message all your followers. Copy paste the same message asking them if they want to subscribe. Make it personal. I want to know who the artist or writer is. I always enjoy someone’s content more if I know the person behind it. I want to know who you are.
But, at this point, you might be wondering: why would people subscribe to my email list? What to send emails about in the first place? Think long and hard, put yourself in your follower’s shoes. If you asked me:
If you are a writer, I would love to have some bonus material send to my inbox.
Updates about your WIP.
An occasional blog post about your life.
Early bird discount on your book when it comes out.
If you are an artist:
I would love to know about the art process and what inspires you.
Read your blog and learn more about you.
Know when you are open for commissions again.
Get updates about your art store.
Obviously, not everyone is going to sign up for your email list. But try your best to make something special. The goal is to:
Build an email list. You will always reach those people. No algorithms or platforms dying (unless email dies, but not in the foreseeable future)
You can build a relationship with your email subscribers. This is important. By reading about your life, I will become more invested in your writing or art.
You are not selling the cheapest shoes or pens in the world. You sell art and books. Build a relationship with your audience!
I am against using extra incentives that have nothing to do with what you do to have people subscribe to your list. If you do giveaways, then make sure it’s something you sell yourself. Don’t give away a bunch of books you didn’t write or a laptop. You will get people signing up because they want the laptop, not because they are interested in you. Instead, as an artist, do a commission giveaway (people who want your art will sign up) or give a discount for your Esty shop etc., Writers: out of the people who sign up, one person can give you a prompt for a short story, for example. Or give away your book if you have already written one!
(By the way, I see some artists doing amazingly well with commissions on Tumblr already! My advice would be, if you want to keep doing this for a long time, go start your website and email asap. So that ‘if’ Tumblr dies, (at this point I am wondering if it’s even possible for this site to die) you can still reach your audience and keep doing commissions.)
Prioritize your website and email list over your Patreon
Patreon is great. As a creator I love it. However, when does someone become a Patreon? For me: first, the rewards need to be good. But second, I need to care about you as a person. You can’t promote everything at the same time. It’s best to focus on one thing for a period of time. I suggest you first build up relationships with your email subscribers, so they get to know you better and give an f, then plug your Patreon.
Email subscribers are more likely to become Patrons compared to the rest of your audience because they already showed you they want to hear more from you by signing up to your newsletter/email list.
You get to collect VALUABLE email addresses first. Those are easier to obtain then having someone become a Patron. People need to pay to become a Patron, your newsletter is free.
This might look a bit counterproductive to some of you. After all, you want to go from A (content) to B ($$$) as fast as possible. But I highly recommend you implement this extra step if Patreon is one of your sources of income. You will end up with more Patrons.
Starting a website and collecting emails
You need a domain name. Preferably a .com. Name it after yourself or your brand/store. There are many ways to go about starting your website.
Here are three:
Bluehost: Bluehost uses WordPress. Take the cheapest package. You don’t need more than that yet. Might be difficult to set up for computer illiterate folks. Though GEN Y and Z should have no problems with it.
FastComet: Also uses WordPress. They claim to be the fastest. Might be hard to set up but it’s very cheap.
Wix: You probably have heard of this one. I suggest you choose the Combo package. It’s free to use, but you do want to upgrade in order to get rid of the blabla.wixsite.com at the end of your domain name. Also, do not buy straight away. They send you a ‘50% discount’ by email after you created a website within 2-14 days. Easiest to use in my opinion.
There are plenty of others out there, but these I have used and are reputable. Feel free to add your hosts to this post.
For email marketing automatization I recommend MailChimp. There are many options, but MailChimp is by far one of the most used and has therefore many one-click-install website integrations, making it is easy to set up. By the way, sending 2-4 emails a month to your list is more than enough.
Hope this helps some of you out. It’s simple but not easy. Also, give it time. You don’t get 1000 email subscribers overnight. The sooner you start the better. And, yeh, you have to put in some time and energy. In my opinion, it’s worth it. Spend 90% of your time creating, the other 10% doing the less fun stuff. If you want to increase your chances of success, being published etc, this is a good way to start. My advice would be: Don’t rely on being discovered or going viral. Rather, increase your chances of being discovered or going viral by strengthening your foundation for success.
You finally see Yoongi after his six years of service in the navy and he’s so much more attractive than you remember. Now that you’re grown, you’re determined to make him yours.
Read Here
2. If You Insist
Police Officer Jungkook AU
After being targeted by the criminal that has been kidnapping young women across the city, you meet a certain police officer who makes it his sole mission to protect you.
Read Here & Epilogue
3. Temptation (Jimin)
Office Worker Jimin AU
He was the love of your life, and one day he disappeared without a word. Nearly a decade later, he returns, and nothing in the world could prepare you for the whirlwind of being Park Jimin’s boss.
Read Here
THE WITCHING
Adventure AU • Series
With the help of four boys, you fight to find a way out of the mysterious town in which you are trapped, discovering secrets that you should never learn and being haunted by an unforgiving evil.
Part 1 • More Coming Soon
- KIM TAEHYUNG
TTYL
Idol/Camgirl AU • Smut Series
An incredible amount of luck leads to an unforgettable experience on a video-chat website with a sexy stranger.
Part 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 - Completed
The Space Between
Photographer AU • Almost Smut Oneshot
You meant for it to be a simple photoshoot. But with the unexpected language barrier, the shoot becomes more physical than anticipated. And you had no idea what kind of affect this gorgeous stranger would have on you.
Read Here
- MIN YOONGI
Shelter From The Storm
First Time/Stuck In A Cabin AU • Smut Series
After intentionally isolating yourself for years, you somehow end up inviting a complete stranger into your very small, very cozy home for a long, rainy weekend. Maybe there’s a reason he got lost on your land; maybe you need him just as much as he needs you.
Part 1 • 2 • More Coming Soon
Heat Wave
Boyfriend AU • Bondage Smut Oneshot
Your boyfriend has made a habit of tying you up, and you couldn’t possibly refuse him.
Read Here
London Fog
Secret Admirer AU • Fluff Oneshot
He works at a coffee shop. She works at a tea shop. Maybe it’s true what they say about opposites attracting.
Read Here
Tilted
Robot AU • Fluff Drabble
For something so mechanical, she truly was made of pure joy, an eternal beacon of hope and wishful thinking. He wanted to survive, but she wanted to live.
Read Here
- JEON JUNGKOOK
If You Insist (Epilogue)
Police Officer AU • Smut Drabble
You excitedly dash home after a long day of classes - this is the first night in weeks that your boyfriend is home and you intend to take full advantage of it.
Note: This is an EPILOGUE. Please read If You Insist first!
Read Here
- KIM NAMJOON
Don’t You Dare Hold Back
Masseuse AU • Smut Oneshot
Get ready. You’re about to have the best massage of your life.
Read Here
Archived:
Better With You - Personalized Taehyung Fluff/Smut
Movie Night - Jungkook Drabble
Hide And Seek - Jungkook Drabble
naivete - BTS Mystery AU
The Moment of Caving In - BTS Angst/Fluff AU
Summary | As you learn more about how Yoongi ended up in your literal neck of the woods, your walls start to crumble bit by bit. It doesn’t help that he’s so cute.
Warnings | Infrequent swearing. Angst. Heartbreak and tears. Eventual smut.
Parts | 1 • 2 • More Coming Soon
Note | This has accidentally been sitting in my drafts for about a month lol WHOOPS. Forgot to come back and actually post it. My bad.
All thoughts of the boy you found in the woods have disappeared from your mind entirely when you rouse yourself from sleep in the middle of the night, back stiff from your too-solid couch. You mentally chastise yourself, thinking that you really need to stop accidentally falling asleep down here.
The rain outside is still pouring, a pleasant background sound that's appropriate for your groggy state of being. All you can think about is the comfort of your bed as you trudge toward the ladder to the loft, squinting through the darkness as if it's actually helpful. You collapse onto the mattress when you reach the top, gratefully burying yourself under the covers and quickly drifting back into a dream.
Everything feels pleasant and warm when you wake up in the morning, and as you slowly come to your senses you realize the exact cause of the warmth. Another body is wrapped around you from behind, breathing quietly into your hair with an arm draped over your side. Startled, you try to roll away, but as soon as you move the arm pulls you back in, holding onto you tightly. The body is solid, hot, and what is that pressing against your bum-
Oh dear God.
You remember it's Yoongi. You don't remember how you ended up in the bed. You are certain that his erection is unfortunately caught between your cheeks and he's not about to let you go anywhere. Your face, your whole body burns with embarrassment. You need to get away.
"Yoongi," you call his name quietly, not sure why you feel obligated to whisper. You pat his arm, cursing yourself for not having a single aggressive bone in your body. "Yoongi, wake up."
He groans quietly and snuggles into you more, if it's even possible. His lips press a kiss into your hair and he murmurs a quiet hey.
You try not to squeal, feeling incredibly uncomfortable from his affection. "Yoongi, let go!"
He stirs again, except this time he pulls away slightly. Then, all at once, he tears away from you. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I must have... That was an accident. I'm so sorry, shit."
Sitting up, you fan yourself, afraid to look at him when you know you're beet red. You can't stop thinking about the way he felt pressed up against you, the way... dear Lord he felt so thick and hard. No, you can't look at him. Do not look at him.
"I must have thought you were my girlfriend. I'm sorry."
"You have a girlfriend?" The question tumbles from your lips. Partly because that would have been nice to know when you were practically drooling over him last night, and partly because this whole scenario is now way more inappropriate than it already was.
There's a slight hesitation before he answers. "Ex-girlfriend. We just broke up."
Okay, still inappropriate, but you can feel a little less guilty about it. Not that any of this is really your fault to begin with. Although you were the one who crawled into bed…
Snickerdoodles, why did you do that?
You keep your back to him, nodding for no real reason as you try to wrap your head around the situation. "I shouldn't have come up here last night, I think I forgot you were up here. I don’t know how I didn’t notice you.“ Thinking back to the previous night, you barely remember even climbing the ladder. Oh, wait… “Oh my goodness, I thought you were pillows. I think I saw the lump on that side of the bed and just completely disregarded it. I must have been so sleepy. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable or anything.”
Chancing a glance at him, you find him with bleary eyes and ruffled hair, slipping on his shirt which he apparently was not wearing a minute ago. There's something terribly adorable about the way he looks at you, and you hate how attractive he is. This is not at all what you signed up for when you brought a stranger into your house.
“I think if you can forgive me for the non-consensual spooning, I can forgive you for accidentally encroaching on my designated sleeping space.” There’s something sincere in his warm, dark eyes.
With a quiet laugh, you nod. “I forgive you. This was all a huge accident.”
“Then I forgive you, too.” His tired smile is absolutely charming. “Let’s forget all about it.”
You nod once more in agreement, glad to put the whole situation behind you. And as you sneak a peek at the collarbone visible through the wide neck of his shirt, you realize that you need to get downstairs stat. Give yourself some space so your heart can stop racing at his precious sleepy look. "I'm going to get some eggs and coffee started. Want some?"
Yoongi stretches and yawns, tacking on, "Yes, please, that would be great. I’ll be down in a few.“ He pulls the blanket up around his shoulders, possibly about to fall back asleep.
One last look at him, and then you depart, trying to convince yourself that he’s not actually that cute, that you’re just romantically and sexually deprived. He’s just a guy. That’s it. As you scoot your way down the ladder, you pop your head up as an afterthought. "I'm sorry about you and your girlfriend."
From the little ball of a human tucked beneath the covers, you hear a quiet "Thanks."
You spend the morning at your easel, the image of last night’s sunset still somewhat fresh in your mind as you try to transfer it to paper. The effort is fruitless; you’ll never be able to truly capture the beauty of a living, breathing sunset, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try. Your most recent dilemma has become your accidental overusage of pink tones. You’re not entirely sure how to fix it, but you’ll figure something out.
Yoongi, on the other hand, sprawls out on your couch, dangling his phone above his head as he scrolls. Frankly, you're amazed that he manages to hold it as long as he does before inevitably dropping it on his face and groaning. You chuckle, sparing him a glance. "Everything alright over there?"
"Would you please just confiscate my phone already? It's doing more harm than good." He sits up, tenderly holding the bridge of his nose. "My friends told me that I should only use it for emergencies, and I would do just that if I had any signal. I've literally just been scrolling through every photo I have of my ex for the last hour. Take it away from me, please."
The smile on your lips starts to fade. It must have been a rough breakup, and you realize that maybe that’s what he was referring to last night when he said he had hit rock bottom. “Have you considered deleting the pictures?”
“Not ready for that yet. Please, just take it.”
Rising to your feet, you pluck the device from his extended hand and pocket it. "Do you want something to do? I’ve got puzzles. That’ll keep you occupied for a while.”
"Sounds better than tossing myself into the lake, which was my next option."
"That's a bit dramatic, don't you think?" Leading him to the back of the house, you peek through your storage area in search of something that could keep him entertained.
"Maybe, but it feels appropriate," Yoongi muses. "What have you got?"
You pull out a few puzzles of various sizes and piece counts, and he selects one of a constellations map.
“That one’s pretty difficult,” you warn him. “I always get frustrated and put it away before I can even get close to finishing.”
“Seems like all the more reason for me to give it a shot, don’t you think?” Yoongi scans your shelves one last time, and he spots the paint can tucked away in the corner of the storage room. “Planning on painting something?”
"Yeah, I want to redo the bathroom. I just haven't gotten around to it yet. It's so far in the back of my mind that I always forget to pick up wallpaper removal solution whenever I go into town."
Yoongi follows you as you head back towards the living area. "Do you have fabric softener? You don't need those fancy chemical solutions."
"I do..." You slow to a stop, turning to face him. "How do you take it down with fabric softener?"
"Go get it and I'll show you." Yoongi drops the puzzle box on the kitchen counter, all business. "The puzzle can wait."
Per his instructions, you fetch him your fabric softener, a spray bottle, and a scraper. You also grab your small toolkit and an old sheet you don't mind using as a drop cloth. After shutting off the power to the bathroom, you remove the switch plates on the bathroom wall while he mixes up a homemade solvent of fabric softener and hot water.
"Usually you can score the wallpaper to make this process a little bit faster, but since you don't have a scoring tool we'll just have to take our time with it. Besides, scoring can sometimes damage the walls underneath the wallpaper, so it's usually better to try removing without scoring if you can.” Yoongi spritzes his mixture on a section of the wall, completely saturating it before setting the bottle down on top of the toilet. "All you do is get it nice and wet like this, wait for a few minutes for the solution to soak in, and then start scraping.
You pick up the bottle and spray a section on the opposite side of the room. "It's really that easy?"
Yoongi reaches out to you, asking for the bottle back. "Leave this to me. You're injured."
"I'm not injured," you scoff, holding up your bandaged hand, which you had accidentally sliced into last night thanks to him. "It's just a cut. I'm fine."
He watches you for a moment, considering. And then he turns on his heel, heads out to the kitchen, and starts rifling through your drawers.
"What are you doing?" You poke your head out of the bathroom.
"Looking for something else to use as a scraper, if you're going to be helping."
"Of course I'm going to help. I'm not just going to make you fix up my house for me."
He pulls an icing spatula out of the utensil drawer, looking pleased. "This'll do."
You take the tool from him and give your bathroom one last look before the walls get torn up. "It's pretty ugly, isn't it."
"The wallpaper?" Yoongi follows your line of sight, observing the intricate, way too busy floral pattern that covers the bathroom. "Yeah, it's not great."
"I picked it out, you know. When I had this place built."
He laughs. "Why on Earth would you do that to yourself?"
"It reminded me of the wallpaper at my parents' house when I was a kid. I guess it made me feel nostalgic when I saw it." Picturing your childhood home still hurts, but it has developed into more of a quiet ache instead of a torturous stab. You chalk it up to the time you've been given to heal over the years. The pain of losing them will never completely go away, but at least it's more bearable now.
"Do you see your parents often? Do they live around here?" Yoongi checks the corner of the wallpaper with the scraper to see if it is ready yet.
"No. I wish I could."
"Maybe you should sometime. I bet they'd love to see you." He peels up a small piece. "Or are you not close?"
You start to pick at your own wallpaper section, thankful that you no longer feel bile rising up in your throat when you think about what happened. "No, it's not that. They died when I was in high school. Car crash."
Yoongi's eyes fall on you; you feel them on your back. "Y/N, I'm so sorry. That's so personal and you shouldn't have to-"
"It's okay," you cut him off, waving your hand nonchalantly. "It was a long time ago. And you didn't know." As you peel up a chunk, you start to feel a weird sense of relief. "I think I'm starting to move on. They'll always be a part of me, you know, but I don't need to cling to the ugly wallpaper in my bathroom to preserve their memory. I can have a pretty bathroom and still love them."
"I'm really glad you feel that way.” Yoongi scrapes, and then chuckles. "Wow, I feel like a real asshole for moping over a breakup all day when you've gone through something like that."
You shake your head. That’s definitely not the right kind of attitude to have. “You can't think about it like that. We all experience our personal losses, and comparing pain never does any good for anyone. You're hurt, and that's fine. I'm not going to judge you just because my pain is different than yours."
He absorbs your words for a moment before responding. “How long have you been living in the mountains, exactly? You're like some wise old sage who gained clarity through nature or something."
You briefly abandon your peeling duties to hunch over, putting on your best impression of a decrepit old woman. "Now listen here, young grasshopper, good things will come to you yet..."
Yoongi lights up with laughter, eyes crinkling with joy. The sound of it soothes you, and the warmth of his smile wakes up your drowsy heart. It feels good to make him laugh.
You grin as you rip off a large chunk of wallpaper. It really is a relief to finally be making this change. "This is kind of therapeutic,” you muse.
"It is, isn't it." Yoongi is much more careful with how he lifts the wallpaper. "Don't get too carried away, though, or you'll damage the wall."
"How do you know so much about this anyway?" You heed his advice with the next strip you pull off.
"My parents, actually. They've made a business of flipping houses. They'd bring me along frequently and teach me all about home improvement." He hands you the spray bottle and instructs you to spray down the next section so it'll be ready for you by the time you finish the one you’re working on.
"That's kind of cool, actually." Spritz, spritz, spritz. Pass the bottle. "Is that what you do now?"
Yoongi shakes his head. "I'm a software engineer, applications developer. I decided the whole work-with-your-hands thing isn't for me. I'm better with numbers and code."
"It's still a creative career, in a way. You're just making something intangible."
Spritz, spritz. Scrape, scrape. ”What do you do?"
“I’m an artist. Oil paint is my preferred medium, but I also sketch from time to time.”
"Oh?" Yoongi looks over his shoulder at you. "Is that what you were working on earlier?"
"Mhm." The next corner peels up easily. “Thought it was kind of obvious, what with the canvas and paint brushes and all.”
“You know, I may have vaguely noticed that. I was honestly too distracted by…” Yoongi’s voice trails off, a discontented look crossing his face. But he snaps out of it quickly. “You should go and keep painting then! I didn’t realize you were out there making a living. I can handle this.”
"Nonsense! I'm helping. Besides, we'll have this finished in no time."
Rip, and a quiet pause in the conversation. “What kind of stuff do you like to paint?”
“Landscapes, mostly.”
“I’m sure living in the mountains is a great source of inspiration.”
“You got it.” You shoot him some lame finger guns before immediately regretting it, but he laughs, thankfully.
“So I’m thinking that maybe if I’m lucky, I can go home in a few days with a nice hand-painted portrait. Yeah?”
“Oh my God, you don’t want to see me paint a person. I can’t do faces. Or limbs. Or torsos.”
“Okay, so you mean landscapes only.”
“Yeah, pretty much.” Another section down, you step closer to him and continue picking. Yoongi falls silent again, and you fill in the space with an unsolicited explanation. “It’s always been landscapes for me. I like the wide open spaces, the natural perfection of untouched land. It can be chaotic, doused in color, or barren and bland. Personally, though, the more chaotic scenes are more enjoyable to paint. The little details are interesting to me.”
“That’s kind of beautiful,” he murmurs. “I’m assuming you painted all of the artwork you have hanging up?”
“Mhm. All mine.”
“I’ll have to go look at it a little more critically, then, now that I know the artist.”
“Don’t be too critical,” you laugh. “I have a fragile ego.”
He moves onto the last section, arm brushing against yours. “I’ll be honest, but you can take it with a grain of salt. I don’t exactly know much about art.”
And just like that, the bathroom is bare. It’s kind of a mess, but the walls are empty. “That was way quicker than I thought it would be.”
“Yeah, it’s not really that difficult to do. And with two of us in such a small space, it was bound to go quickly.” He holds up a hand, grinning stupidly at you. “Teamwork!”
You laugh and high five him, ignoring the fact that he is way too close. “Go, team!”
"Thank you for helping with dinner." You glance over at him as he chops some vegetables for the bibimbap. He had offered up his services as your assistant without being asked, and he would not take no for an answer - probably because he's worried you'll accidentally cut yourself again. You didn't try too hard to refuse him, anyway.
"It's my pleasure," he responds warmly. "I'm going to help you eat it, so it's only fair. Too bad that you're a vegetarian, though."
"Too bad you like killing innocent animals for sustenance," you spit back, only half-joking.
"What about these carrots, hm? Ruthlessly ripped up from the ground, skinned against their will, thrown into a hot frying pan-"
"Shut it, you know that's nonsense." Still, you laugh.
"Did you know," he turns to face you, waving the knife in his hand for emphasis, "plants do actually have feelings? House plants respond positively when they're sung to and spoken to in a loving manner. And you know the scent of freshly mowed grass? That fragrance is actually the cut blades of grass trying to warn the other blades that danger is near." Yoongi's eyes grow wide with his fervor. "It's the scent of fear and torment!"
With a dramatic sigh, you stop stir frying the mushrooms as you murmur, "Well, fudge nuggets. Guess we're just going to have to starve then."
Yoongi eyes you strangely. “You don’t swear, do you.”
You shrug, eyeing him back. “I don’t feel a need for it, I guess.”
“Fudge nuggets…” He echoes you quietly, chukling under his breath. His eyes dart from the stove to his chopping board, and he returns to the topic. "We wouldn't want to be wasteful, though, so we'll start starving tomorrow. We should make the most of this, the Last Supper."
The Last Supper, huh? "Yoongi, can you go open that cabinet for me?" You looked over your shoulder toward the cabinet next to your small refrigerator.
"Yes, chef." Yoongi gave you a small salute before traipsing over toward it. The only thing you've got in that particular cabinet is a bottle of wine, which he retrieves. "Wine?"
You turn back to the cooking mushrooms. "If this is the Last Supper, we need to celebrate it right. We can break into it after we eat, though. I'm not sure it'll pair too well with the food."
He sits the bottle next to his chopping station. With a fake sniffle he cries, "The poor grapes..."
"Get it together, man." Methodically, you scoot the mushrooms around in the pan. "They sacrificed their lives so that we might enjoy them. It would be dishonorable to refuse their sacrifice."
"You make a fair point," he acknowledges, imaginary tears miraculously drying up. "Those mushrooms done yet?"
"Just about. Can you hand me that dish?"
Yoongi hands you the bowl you gesture to, your fingers accidentally brushing as he passes it to you. You pretend that you didn't just feel something electric.
Scooping the mushrooms out of the pan and into the bowl, you instruct him to drop the carrots into the clean pan you had been heating on the other burner. He does as you ask, and you add the salt and sesame oil. When they're cooked, you transfer them to a bowl and repeat the process with your spinach and bean sprouts.
Cleaning up his station, Yoongi carries his chopping board and knife to the sink, passing behind you in the process. His hand absentmindedly touches your back as he walks by, and he murmurs a soft behind you into your ear. With any luck, he'll think that the pink color of your cheeks is only due to the heat of the stove.
When his hand drops, his finger catches in the bow of your apron, effectively untying it at the waist. Without thinking, you joke, “Careful, Yoongi. I might think you're trying to undress me.” But your words only deepen your blush. What a stupid thing to say.
"Ah, how indecent of me." He drops the board and knife into the bowl of the sink before coming up behind you again. "Let me help."
His hands gently brush your sides as they gather the apron strings, crossing one over the other. But instead of tying them behind your back, he brings the strings around to your stomach, peering over your shoulder to tie the knot. Your heart starts running a marathon that it never trained for, making you lightheaded at the fact that he's basically hugging you from behind.
He lingers a hair too long after fastening your apron, and you stammer. "A-are you done?"
Yoongi hums and releases you, an oddly pink tint dusting his cheeks. When you look down at yourself, you realize why.
Up until this moment, you had forgotten that you opted for a scoop neck shirt instead of your usual crew neck t-shirt, and you're pretty sure that you just accidentally gave Yoongi quite the view. You immediately flush, embarrassed even though you sort of chose this shirt on purpose because of its flattering neckline. In theory, it’s easy to say ‘I don’t have to try to impress him just because he’s hot.’ But in practice? Well, that’s a-whole-nother story.
It's sweet that he doesn't address it, likely for fear of making you feel uncomfortable. You let it go, too, taking the food out to the low table in the living room, creating some space between the two of you as you set up the side dishes and main course. You really need the extra air, too; somehow he looks way too cute washing dishes and being all domestic.
You don't say a word to each other until you're both seated on the floor on either side of the table, throwing together your bibimbap bowls. It seems like his spirits have lifted since your wallpaper-removing escapade this afternoon, and you hope for his sake that it's a genuine shift in his mood and that he’s not just hiding his sadness for your sake. Appearing cheerful doesn't necessarily mean the same as feeling cheerful. And even though it's probably none of your business, you can't help but want to check in with him - especially after opening up to him about your parents. It's probably silly - superficial, even - but somehow that makes you feel closer to him.
"How are you holding up?" You take a casual bite of your food. "You haven't asked for your phone back yet. That seems like a good sign."
Yoongi sighs, adding an excessive amount of chili sauce to his bowl. “I’m feeling a little better, but I’m just trying to keep myself distracted, I guess. Don't really like to think about the whole thing, you know."
You hum quietly, understanding. With a few bean sprouts hanging from your chopsticks you inquire, "Can I ask what happened? It's okay if that's too personal or if you don't want to talk about it."
Yoongi cringes at the unpleasant memory playing before his eyes. "Well, I dropped by my friend's place unannounced and found him balls deep in my girlfriend. So that was pretty much the end of it."
You try not to look as shocked as you feel by his blunt honesty. "That’s awful."
Thunder rumbles loudly, and a flash of lightning draws his attention outside. "Probably the worst moment of my life. Losing my girlfriend and my friend all in one go." He watches the rain pour, but your gaze is only drawn to him. You don't say anything, giving him space to keep talking if he wants. And eventually, he does. "I just don't get it. I don't know how it happened, why it happened, how she could do that to me. How either one of them could do that to me. And now I just can't get the image of them screwing out of my head."
You nod solemnly, unable to truly imagine the depth of betrayal he must be feeling. "That's really unfair."
"It sucks. Honestly. More than anything, it sucks." He rubs his temple, as if the memory of it makes his head ache.
"How long were you together? If you don't mind me asking."
"Almost two years. I thought I was falling in love with her. I seriously thought..." He laughs to himself, hiding his face in his hands. "I thought I might marry her some day. I could see it happening down the road, anyway. It wasn't a perfect relationship, but none of them really are. But she was fun to be with, and it seemed like we had a good time together usually. Although when I really think back on it, she did get a bit distant recently."
"What about your friend? Were you close?" The questions spill from a place of genuine curiosity, and you realize that you're kind of interrogating him. You tack on, "Let me know if I should stop asking questions."
"It's fine." Yoongi sighs. "He and I are part of the same circle, so we would hang out pretty frequently with the group. I wouldn't call him my best friend, but we definitely got along really well. I thought he had my back."
"Do the rest of your friends know?"
"Yeah, they're the ones that convinced me this hiking trip was a good idea. They knew how torn up I was and thought I needed to just get away from it all and have a life changing adventure or something."
You take a moment to absorb, grateful that he opened up. It feels good that he confided in you. He's actually starting to feel like less of a stranger. "Well, the trip's not over yet, so we still have time to make it life changing. Don't you worry about that."
Yoongi finally looks over at you with an almost-hint of a smile, but then his lower lip starts to quiver. His eyes dart away, tears welling up in the corners. Fearlessly, he allows the depth of his sadness to take over.
He falls apart in front of you, shoulders shaking with his staggered breathing. He curls in on himself, trying to become as small as possible, and it breaks your heart. You want to tell him not to cry, that it's okay and he doesn't have to let his emotions control him - but you stop yourself. This is what he needs, you remind yourself, even if it feels awful to him and is hard for you to watch.
You've never really felt comfortable exposing your emotions to others, even before everything with your friends and family happened. You didn't want to deal with the inherent attention that comes along with breaking down in front of someone, didn't want anyone's sympathy or judgment. But you know how miserable it feels to stuff all of your feelings away for fear of being judged, and you can't let Yoongi feel that way if this is the way he's trying to heal.
You can't say that you're particularly good at comforting people, but you try your best as you assure him, "Just let it all out. You're safe here. I'm not going to judge you."
He nods in acknowledgment, tears streaming down his cheeks. Between sobs he warbles, "How could I have been... so wrong... about both of them? I thought... I could trust them..."
You bite your tongue, holding back your bitter remarks about how people can't be trusted. It's not the right time for you to spill your rhetoric about all of that. Instead you sit quietly, wringing your hands in your lap. The strangest thing about it all isn't actually his willingness to express his emotions, but it's really how uncomfortable you feel to witness it. He's in such a vulnerable place, and you hardly even know him, and somehow that makes you feel really vulnerable too. But you suppress the urge to make some sort of teasing comment to lighten the mood and relieve some of the growing tension. You force yourself to wade in it, in the thick air that encapsulates you, reminding yourself to give him the space he needs.
Slowly, his sobbing eventually subsides and his breathing evens out. He doesn't seem happy by any means, hardly even okay, but the relaxing of his shoulders signals his relief. Similarly, you release your hands, trying to find your own relaxation.
Yoongi wipes his face and sniffles, voice no longer shaking. "Honestly, I feel scared. I think I'm afraid of being alone, of having to start over with someone new. Of having to even find someone new."
"Being alone isn't so bad," you murmur. "There are a lot of great things about it, actually. It's not always lonely. Sometimes being with the wrong people is even more lonely than actually being alone."
"Is that why you're out here?" Sniff. "To get away from the wrong people?"
You nod, lips tightening into a flat line. "Yeah. There's a lot of freedom in being alone."
"Teach me your ways, guru." Yoongi chuckles quietly, a brokenhearted attempt at cheering up, eyes red and puffy.
"Just buy yourself a cabin in the woods and become a hermit. That's all there is to it." Your quip brings a smile to his face, and this one feels beautifully genuine. He may be kind of red and puffy, but boy is he effortlessly gorgeous.
He meets your eyes with a surprisingly strong gaze. "Thank you. For everything."
You feel your cheeks grow warm the longer you hold eye contact. "You're welcome. I promise this will pass in its own time. You won't feel this way forever."
"I know," he murmurs as he looks down, and he actually sounds hopeful. He reaches across the table to bring your bowl over, indicating that he wants you to stay exactly where you are. "So what about you? Have you ever had a terrible breakup?"
You mix up your bowl, avoiding eye contact. This isn’t exactly a conversation you want to have. "Not really..."
"Come on, you can tell me. I spilled, so now it's your turn."
Shrugging, you tell the truth, feeling like you owe him at least that much after he answered all of your personal questions. "I've never actually dated anyone before."
"Really?" Yoongi's chopsticks pause in mid-air en route to his mouth. "Wait, do you mean that you've never been in a relationship or that you've never been on a date?"
"Both."
He gawks at you, stunned. "Wow. That's very hard to believe."
You roll your eyes. "Hard to believe because I'm old?"
With a smirk he bites into a carrot. “And pretty.”
Your ears start burning. Did he really just call you pretty? For real? Ignore it. Just ignore it, or you may never be able to form words again. Stammering, you spit out, "W-well it's true."
"Okay, so you can shut me up if this is too personal, but does that mean you're a virgin?"
You turn a deeper shade of red, if that's even possible. "Yes, basically."
"Basically?" His eyebrows creep up his forehead, disappearing under his hair as a grin spreads across his face. "Ah. I see."
"Shut up," you laugh awkwardly, embarrassed. Masturbation isn't exactly what you'd think of as an appropriate conversation topic for the dinner table. It doesn't seem to make him uncomfortable though, so you try to be normal about it. "It just kind of worked out that way, but I don't mind it. Besides, I know best what I like."
Sheepish grin still plastered on his face, Yoongi concedes. "That's a good point. Guys can be idiots when it comes to figuring out girls' bodies. I should know. Or maybe you're into girls? I shouldn't assume."
"Guys, I'm pretty sure. Never had an experience that made me think otherwise, so I think it's safe to say I'm straight." Then you catch on to what he just said. "Did you just basically admit to being bad at sex?"
"No, I did not. It's just hard to get it right at first, but you learn with experience. I'd like to think that I do a pretty good job, I've never received any complaints." His smirk turns to a frown. "Although my girlfriend did cheat on me... shit. Maybe I'm not as good as I think I am."
You're not totally sure what to say, but eventually you come up with something that you hope is encouraging. "Even if that's the case, I'm sure it's much more complicated than that."
He picks at his food. "Thank you for being so supportive. You don't have to be so nice, you don't even know me."
You nod carefully, explaining. “I wish I had someone to be there for me when I was hurting. I know how hard it is to get through stuff on your own."
"Why are you so kind, even after getting hurt?"
That's a good question, actually. But as you take a moment to think about it, you realize that there's a very specific reason why you're choosing to be sympathetic. "Because I don't want to be like the people who hurt me."
He chews on a bite of his bowl thoughtfully. "You know, you can talk to me too. I'll listen."
"Thank you, but I'm okay." You've never spoken with anyone about that, and you're not planning on changing that today. It just doesn't feel necessary. It's so far in the past at this point, and you've done such a good job of ignoring it. It's a non-issue, so you're not going to pretend like you need to confide in someone.
You do just fine on your own.
Post Script | Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned for Part 3!
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Summary | After intentionally isolating yourself for years, you somehow end up inviting a complete stranger into your very small, very cozy home for a long, rainy weekend. Maybe there’s a reason he got lost on your land; maybe you need him just as much as he needs you.
Note | This has been in the works for such a long time. I basically wrote the whole thing (like ninety-five percent of it), and then got too distracted by life events to actually wrap it up and post. Good news is, I should be posting updates pretty quickly since it’s basically finished. This part is a little short, but the upcoming parts will be longer. I’m anticipating maybe four or five parts once I break it all up. Anyhoo, enjoy!
It never fails to leave you breathless, the way the sky burns orange just beyond the mountain peak, clouds swirling pink until the fire extinguishes and night arrives, the galaxies making themselves known among the blanket of speckled lights. The crystal clear lake you float in reflects the moon and the stars as they appear, glittering ripples extending from your limbs as you wade. You’re on the cusp of fall, and the cool water raises goosebumps over your bare body. It makes you feel alive, connected, present. And that’s exactly why you love living in the mountains.
This place has become your personal oasis, your escape from the heartless society you had been born into without any say in the matter. You can’t help but feel you deserve at least this much, after all that you’ve been through that led you to now. It’s only right that you should be given some peace and beauty to balance your quality of life.
You lift up onto your back, your bare breasts breaking through the water, the breeze bringing your nipples to sharp points. The sky gently twinkles with more stars than you could ever count, your eyes landing on the few constellations you can recognize. Nothing could ever be more perfect than this view.
Floating aimlessly, you let yourself fall into a meditative state of mind until the sky begins to cloud over and the chill on your skin soaks through to your bones. Maybe one day you can train yourself to regulate body temperature like that Dutch man you’ve read about - the one who climbs snow-covered mountains in nothing but shorts, soaks in ice baths for hours, and so on - only so that you could stay in the water forever. But you realize it is a selfish wish, and that nothing can truly be forever. The beauty of the sunset is that it is only a few passing moments. Its impermanence is what makes it so wonderful and special.
With quivering limbs you pull yourself up onto the dock, toweling off before haphazardly throwing on sweatpants and a hoodie, wrapping your wet hair up in a towel. You flick on your flashlight and begin the uphill trek back to your cabin. If you could, you’d forego the light and let the moon lead the way, but your path winds through too-dense trees and does not allow any of the natural light to come through. Even with the sunset-colored leaves beginning to part from the trees in favor of covering the ground, the branches themselves cause too much shadow. So, flashlight it is.
You hum quietly to yourself, noticing that the woods are quieter, calmer than usual. Thunder rumbles off in the distance, warning of the impending storm that you’ve prepared for - you made a trip into town earlier in the day to stock up on groceries. You expect a somewhat light but steady rain over the course of at least two days - which means you’ll be stranded at your cabin for at least four - but that was nothing unusual for this time of year.
You’re startled from your thoughts by the sound of a male voice not too far off from the trail. “Ah, shit.”
You freeze in place. There shouldn’t be anybody out here. This is your private property, land that you own. Granted, it isn’t exactly fenced-off or anything, but you’re in a remote enough area that you didn’t think you needed any signage.
From a few meters away: “FUCK.” And then a noise, a cross between a scream and a wordless shout.
Your gut twists and you realize that the mysterious voice might need your help. Veering off of your path, you hurry toward the sound to investigate after only a brief moment of contemplation. As you wind through the trees, you come up on a small clearing decorated with a partially assembled tent, an unlit and poorly constructed campfire, and a man lying on his back, completely still.
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” you chant under your breath as you rush toward him, seriously concerned that you may have just found a dead man. But unlike a corpse, he jolts up into a seated position as soon as he hears your footsteps nearing, which subsequently causes you to screech in surprise.
“Who are- What are you doing?” He questions as he backs away from you, the small light strapped to his forehead shining brightly in your eyes and nearly blinding you.
Clutching your chest, you try to catch the breath that was frightened out of your lungs. He’s alive, you should be grateful for that much. “I heard you… scream. Is everything alright? Are you hurt?” You shield your face from his light when you try to look at him, tacking on, “Christ, can you turn that off?”
With a quiet click the beam of light fades to nothing, and you notice him wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry if I scared you. Didn’t realize you were camping close by.”
You’re relieved to hear that he’s alright, but that doesn’t solve the issue of him trying to camp on your land. You suck your teeth and say, “This isn’t a campground, and you can’t be here.”
Even through the darkness, you can make out his incredulous expression simply by the way it colors his voice. “It’s the woods. How can it not be a campground?”
With a small huff, you stand your ground. “This is my private property and you’re trespassing.”
“Ah, really?” He scratches his head, ruffling up his hair. Rising to his feet, he begins to gather his things. “Well, can you tell me which way is the end of your property? I’ll get out of your hair, then.”
Thunder rumbles lowly across the sky once more, surely winding up for a release. You own acres of land; even if he heads for the edge of your property, he won’t get there before the rain starts. He’ll never make it through the storm, especially in that shitty tent. He’s way too far from any sort of shelter - besides your own home, that is.
Crap. You can’t just leave him out here on his own.
“What’s your name?”
He clicks on his headlamp as he tears down the tent. “Why, are you going to report me?”
“No, I’m bringing you to my house to wait out the storm. I’d just feel better about inviting a stranger in if I at least knew your name.”
“Oh.” He straightens. You notice that he isn’t particularly tall, his build not at all threatening. “You’re definitely not going to report me?”
His concern makes you hesitate. “Should I? Do you have a record or something?”
He rubs his temple with one hand. “No, no record. It’s just been… It’s been an awful couple of days and that would just make it so much worse.”
You nod in understanding. “I promise I won’t report you.”
After a moment of considering, he turns off his headlamp and steps toward you, hand extended. “Yoongi. You?”
You take his hand in yours and shake it gently, taking note of his damp knuckles. “Y/N.”
As your cabin comes into sight, Yoongi whistles lowly. “You live there?”
You hum and nod. It isn’t much, but it’s your home. Definitely on the small side, the A-frame cabin hardly even counts as a two-level house, with only a loft for your sleeping area. Everything else on the first floor in an open floor plan; your living area runs into your small strip of a kitchen, which runs into the storage space and bathroom at the back of the house. The highlight is that the front of the house is a full wall of windows which faces west, overlooking the lake and mountain range. Small, but exactly what you need.
Yoongi doesn’t make any other comments about your cabin, possibly because he seems to be a bit out of breath.
“Do you want to break for a minute?” You stop in your tracks. “It gets steeper up there.”
He shakes his head and waves his hand in dismissal, but pauses his footsteps. “We’re almost there.”
“Yeah, but you don’t seem to be a regular hiker. Am I wrong?”
He cocks an eyebrow. “I’m more of an indoors kind of guy.”
“That’s fair, that’s fair,” you muse. “Probably a good thing, since we’ll be stuck inside for a few days.”
“A few days?” Yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise. “How long is it supposed to rain, exactly?”
“About two days. It’s not supposed to be heavy rain, but it’ll make things around here slick enough that we’ll need to stay in for at least a third day, possibly four. It’s too dangerous to try going down the mountain to get into town while everything is wet. It’s much better to give it time to dry.”
Dragging his hands down his face, he groans. “I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to be intruding on your space for so long. I honestly had no idea this would happen.”
“It can’t be helped,” you sigh. Holing up with a strange man isn’t exactly your ideal scenario, but you’d feel far too guilty about leaving him to fend for himself, especially once things start getting slippery. You’ll just need to be careful around him to make sure he doesn’t try to pull anything shady. A few drops of rain land on your head and arms, signaling the beginning of the storm. “I think it’s starting to rain, so we better get up there.”
With a dramatic exhale, Yoongi says, “Alright. Let’s go.”
You’re not even that far from your house - it just gets a little treacherous because of the steep incline. But you both make it up to the front door relatively quickly, heavy breathing and all.
Once you let him inside, you’re able to properly size Yoongi up in the light of your living room. As you noticed from the time spent hiking up to the cabin, he’s not much taller than you, and he doesn’t appear particularly muscular. He’s rather thin, actually, with a slight hunch to his shoulders. Probably not much of a threat, honestly.
“This is a nice little place you’ve got.” Yoongi glances around. “Where’s your TV?”
“Don’t have one.”
“What?” He stares at you like you’ve sprouted an extra head. “How?”
“What do you mean, ‘how’? It’s really easy, you just don’t purchase one.”
Shaking his head, he looks back at the living space. “How do you live?”
You pat him on the shoulder as you walk past him, realizing too late that the gesture may be a bit too friendly. “No internet, either, so this should be fun.”
Yoongi groans dramatically. “What do you even do here?”
“There’s plenty to do! You know, it’s possible to entertain yourself without a screen.” You defend yourself, opening up your linen closet to grab clean towels for the both of you. “Besides, even if I wanted internet, I wouldn’t be able to get service up here.”
“Yeah, because you picked the most remote little mountain to live on.”
“My little mountain is perfect.” You close the closet roughly, raising an eyebrow at him.
He pokes around the room, examining the walls and furniture. He shows little interest in the books that fill your shelves or the paintings on the walls, instead appreciating the woodwork. Eventually his gaze turns upward as he eyes the vaulted ceiling. “The loft is a nice touch. Is that your bedroom?”
“Yep. Just enough room for a mattress and not much else. It’s pretty cozy.” You follow his gaze up to the loft. “I’ll have you sleep up there tonight. I’ll take the couch.”
He shifts his weight uncomfortably. "You don't have to do that for me."
"Don't flatter yourself," you laugh lightly as you head towards the bathroom. "I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it because I don't want you down here with all of my stuff while I'm blissfully sleeping upstairs. For all I know, you might have been lying about that criminal record of yours." Even as the words pass your lips, you know he’s obviously not interested in your possessions. He doesn’t seem like a thief. Still, you can’t let yourself easily trust someone you just met.
"I don't have a record." He insists flatly.
You tuck the towels under your arm and motion for him. “Come with me."
He follows you, but only part of the way. You peek out from the bathroom to find him standing in the kitchen looking confused. So you gesture again. "Get in here."
"Why?"
"Because I need to shower, and I'm not leaving you alone in my house. You seem nice, but you’re still a stranger.“ Maybe he’s not a thief, but you still don’t want him snooping around. You look him up and down, crossing your arms over your chest. "You could use a shower too."
His eyes widen. "Are you asking me to shower with you?"
"No! Of course not! That's not what I meant," you splutter, cheeks and ears burning. That's not at all the idea you meant for him to have. "Separately. We'll shower separately. You're going to sit right there on the toilet while I shower, and then when I'm out, you'll shower."
Yoongi chuckles as he steps into the small bathroom with you. "You're too much."
With two people inside, you become aware of just how tiny the bathroom really is. He stands incredibly close, and his pungent smell fills your nostrils. You crinkle your nose in distaste. "Jeez, when was the last time you bathed?”
He thought for a moment. “Two days? I've been hiking and camping that whole time, haven't seen much in the way of water since I started."
"Only two days? You smell homeless."
He shrugs unapologetically and sits on the closed toilet lid, watching you. "For the record, I was going to wash off in the lake tonight, but you were already down there."
That surprises you. He had seen you swimming? Christ, you were naked. Did he see all of that? "You saw me?"
"I saw someone, just a head bobbing in the water," he shrugs again. "I just assumed it was you, since your hair has been up in a towel this whole time. Unless you just like to wear towels like that for fashion."
Maybe he really didn't see anything, then. With a perked eyebrow, you tug the towel off of your head and let your still-damp hair fall in a mess. "We got a regular Sherlock here."
"Ah, so you do have hair under there. I was starting to wonder." He chuckles when you throw your balled-up towel at him in response. Holding onto it, he quickly looks you up and down. "This is a little intimate, don't you think?"
"I'm not stripping in front of you, so don't get any ideas." You step into the shower, still fully clothed, and pull the curtain shut. "Don't you dare try to peek at me while I'm in here, or I'll send you out into the storm.”
"I mean, a little rain never hurt anybody..."
Pulling back the curtain slightly, you glare at him. "I swear to God, Yoongi, if you try anything..."
"Relax, I won't." He raises his hands defensively with a small grin. "I'm just teasing. I'll behave, I promise."
You hadn’t expected him to feel comfortable enough to tease you that way, but his lighthearted attitude is somewhat comforting. Temporarily placated, you retreat once more into the cubicle, tossing your sweatpants and shirt over the curtain rod as you undress. Hopefully he won't notice the lack of underwear being added to the collection.
The water is freezing when you turn it on, but there is no space for you to hide from it. You try not to squeal as it dances across your back, raising goosebumps in a way that’s not nearly as pleasant as the cool lake’s effect. Eventually the water warms, and you begin washing, steam rising up around you.
As you massage rose scented shampoo into your scalp, you decide that you really don’t know what to make of this whole situation. This is crazy, isn't it? Bringing a strange man into your house when you live completely alone and forcing him into the bathroom with you... Who does that? The entire scenario is just ridiculous and you have no idea how you should handle yourself.
You’ve always had the tendency to assume the worst. What if he tries to hurt you or something? His first impression certainly isn’t one of someone who could be violent, but still… If it came down to it, surely you'd find the courage to fight, even though you could never imagine assaulting another person. But if your life is in danger, maybe some sort of survival instinct would kick in so you can do what needs to be done. Oh jeez... You hope to God that he really is just a regular person and that the next few days will go smoothly.
"Say something so I know you're still there."
"Why are you so paranoid?" It doesn't sound accusatory. It almost sounds like Yoongi is amused.
You rinse the lather from your hair and follow with conditioner. "I'm not paranoid, I'm cautious. I have to be."
"Because you live alone?"
"And because I'm a woman." You frown. "And you're a man. You know how those things go."
"Why wouldn't you want to live in a neighborhood somewhere, that way you'd have other people to rely on if something bad happened?"
"Because I can't rely on people. They're all selfish. No one really knows how to care about people any more." It comes out much more bitter than you intend, but you suppose it can't be helped. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and all that. Well, not scorned, exactly. Betrayed? Used? Probably something along those lines.
Pause. "Someone must have hurt you pretty bad."
You swallow hard. Even after all of this time living out here on your own, you still feel emotional about all of it.
At the age of fifteen, your parents were ripped from you in a cruel act of fate, leaving you an orphan raised by your greedy aunt and uncle. Your large inheritance held their attention, and eventually that of your friends’ too. Every single one of them only saw you for the wealth you never asked for, even before you were old enough to legally claim it. You’ll never forget the way they all used you; they guaranteed you could never form a relationship uncolored by greed.
As per your usual tactic, you choke it all down, suppressing that which you cannot change. It’s in the past now, and there’s no use in dwelling on it. You have no desire to share any of that with Yoongi, anyway.
Changing the subject, you put on a calm facade and slather yourself with body wash. "What's your story? How'd you end up in my backyard?"
"I'm on a journey of soul-searching, a quest for inner peace." Yoongi snarks, and you laugh.
"That sounds like a crock of cheese.”
“Cheese?” He laughs, questioning your choice of words.
“You know, nonsense.” You clarify.
“I believe the term is crock of shit.”
“I know what it is.”
He’s quiet for a moment before responding to your original sentiments. “I think it is a crock of cheese. But sometimes when you hit rock bottom, you're willing to try anything, you know?"
You hum in agreement. That's exactly what drove you to the woods in the first place - you were so desperate to get away from the people you thought were your friends, the memory of everyone and everything you had lost. You had needed a fresh start, and this remote spot was perfect for that. He seems just as lost as you were before your cabin became your home; maybe this place could be good for him as well.
“How has the journey been so far? Still at rock bottom?" you inquire.
"Jury's still out on that one. But off the record, I think there may have been some improvement in my circumstances."
You let yourself smile a little and finish rinsing off.
Once the water's off and you're wrapped in your towel, you ask him to look away so you can exit the bathroom. When you pull the curtain to the side, you find him with his head bowed, hands over his eyes. Grateful for the respectful gesture, you collect your clothes and let him know that he can take as long as he needs in the shower, and to help himself to your bottles of soap and shampoo if he doesn't have any.
“Oh,” you stop yourself right as you’re exiting the bathroom, and he still keeps his head down. “I think I probably have some clean clothes that should fit you. Let me grab them for you. We can wash your clothes in the morning. Just… stay right here.”
You close the door and take off, scampering over to the dresser in your living room and fishing out an old pair of basketball shorts and one of your many t-shirts. Lucky for him, you have kind of a boyish, comfy style. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to wear booty shorts, although you’ve got a few pairs of those as well. You drop the clothes off in the bathroom, and he thanks you right before you yank the door shut again.
While he's showering, you get dressed and busy yourself by tidying the place up. You obviously hadn't been expecting any company, but you usually keep a pretty clean space so the mess isn't overwhelming. The loft really needs the most work, especially if you expect him to stay up there. You’ve never needed to hide your erotica or your personal toys, but now that he’s here you can’t exactly leave those things out in the open. You slide open the cubbies hidden in the wood paneling on either side of your bed, tucking your secrets away.
The water shuts off as you're stretching clean sheets over the mattress. Steam clouds roll up past the loft and you silently curse him for what you're sure will be an expensive water bill. All at once you're hit with the warm, spicy scent of him. He must have brought his own products with him because holy pickles none of your stuff smells quite like that. The scent alone nearly makes your mouth water.
"I guess you do know what soap is," you call down to him jokingly, and you hear a soft chuckle float up from downstairs. "But what were you thinking, bringing that along? You're only supposed to camp with unscented stuff."
"Really?"
You slip on some fresh pillow cases and then you're done. "Yeah, scented soap attracts bugs and other things."
“Good thing I didn't ever use it, then."
As you shimmy down the ladder, you catch a glance of Yoongi as he stands in your kitchen, basketball shorts hanging low on his hips and wet hair dangling in clumped strands. He's shirtless, his toned abdomen and chest on full display, his towel draped over his shoulders.
Talk about mouth watering.
Sure, muscular guys can be attractive. But Yoongi is clear proof that a slim build can get you going just as much. You mentally wrestle with the odd feeling of attraction taking over you, which simply was not present half an hour ago. How could a shower make someone that much more attractive?
"Hi," he smiles slightly, eyebrows raised. Whoops, you're staring.
"Hi." Dear Lord, your brain has forgotten how to work.
Yoongi holds up the shirt you offered him. “Sorry, but do you have a different shirt I could borrow? One with a wider neck? The collar is a little too tight.”
That explains the shirtlessness. “Ah, yeah. Let me- let me grab one.” You scurry back to your dresser, digging around until you find a loose, wide-neck shirt. Turning around, you realize he followed you and you hand over the new apparel. “Here, this should be better.”
He trades you. “Thank you, I really appreciate it.” Dropping his towel on top of your dresser, he pulls the shirt over his head. Once he’s appropriately clothed, he starts towel drying his hair. “Are you going to sleep soon?”
You force yourself to look away, instead gazing out the window at the rain that had started coming down. "Yeah, I think I will. But don't feel obligated to turn in if you're not tired. I have a lamp up there that you can keep on. It won't bother me down here."
Yoongi's stomach growls loudly, and he frowns. "I don't mean to be a mooch, but could I possibly get a snack? My food stash is depleted. I planned on making it home today, but obviously that didn't happen."
"So you got lost?" No wonder he seemed so upset when you found him.
"You could say that."
Nodding, you lead him into the kitchen area. You certainly have food to spare. Peeking into the fridge, you weigh your options and ask, "Healthy or junky?"
"Oh man, if you've got some fruit or something that would be perfect. All I've eaten for the last few days is trail mix, canned beans, and PB&J. I'd kill for something refreshing." Yoongi hovers behind you, also looking into the refrigerator. His spicy man-scent fills your nostrils, and you reject the overwhelming urge to bury your face into his chest. What is happening to you?
You've never felt so intensely attracted to another person. Especially one that you just met. You chalk it up to your loneliness and general lack of experience with physical intimacy. Not that you're lonely, exactly. Just that you've been single for, well, forever. And now that you're confronted with a good-looking, nice-smelling male, you simply don't know what to do with yourself. For some reason, carry-on-as-usual is not an option at the moment.
"Ah, apple fruit?" What? "Um." Wow, good save.
"An apple would be awesome." He doesn't acknowledge your awkward blubbering, thank God.
"Awesome," you echo, handing him one of the honeycrisp apples in your fruit drawer and grabbing one for yourself. You close the refrigerator door, and he leans against it coolly as he takes a bite. Blinking at him owlishly for just a second, you finally ask. "Do you want to wash that off first?"
Yoongi just shakes his head with a flat expression. "I'm a man of the woods now. I can handle it."
You fight back your smile, turning from him to clean off your own apple before slicing it up.
"Why don't you just eat it?"
"How dare you judge my eating habits," you retort with a chuckle. "It's less messy this way."
"Apples aren't messy."
You look over at him as he takes a huge bite, juice dribbling down his chin and the same blank expression still on his face. Gesturing to him with your knife in a vague, non-threatening way, you remark, "That makes sense. Now I see how you ended up so filthy after just a few days."
"Man of the woods." Yoongi gestures to himself, cracking just a bit of a smile as he uses the bath towel to wipe off his chin. Ugh, he's cute. "I don't know what else you want from me."
"Just don't turn my home into a pigsty and I think we'll be fine."
"Trust me, I'll be the best house guest you've ever had. And probably the first, right?” Yoongi winks at you playfully, which is certainly a bad idea. Momentarily flustered, you lose your grip on the knife, and it cuts into your thumb as it falls to the counter.
A line of blood quickly collects on your skin, causing you to gasp with surprise. You're always so careful with kitchen tools; you've never accidentally cut yourself before. You just stare at it as it bleeds, kind of in shock about the whole situation.
"Whoa," Yoongi rushes to you, picking up your hand to examine it. Calmly, he reassures you. "It doesn't look too deep, but it's bleeding kind of quickly." He yanks the towel off from around his neck.
"No not my-!" You cut yourself off as he presses the towel against your wound. "...bath towel..."
"Relax, it's just a towel. Do you have a first aid kit?"
"Under the bathroom sink."
Yoongi retrieves it, bringing the small case back into the kitchen and fishing out the supplies he needs. He carefully tends to you, disinfecting the wound and wrapping you up with a bandage. He's very gentle, trying his best not to cause any additional pain. It shouldn't get to you, but the simple kindness with which he helps you warms your heart. Unintentionally, you feel a crack form in the wall that protects you from the rest of the world.
"See? This is why you should just eat the apple normally." Yoongi goads, washing off the knife before continuing to slice up the apple for you.
Sure, he makes a point, but it doesn't sway you. "There's a better fruit-to-skin ratio this way."
"Not true. It's better to just choke down the skin at the beginning, and then get nothing but fruit the rest of the time. When you eat slices, you get skin every single bite."
"Yeah, in small quantities. And there's no 'choking down' involved."
"You're stubborn," he remarks with a chuckle, pushing the sliced up fruit toward you and cleaning the knife once more.
"I'm not used to having my eating habits criticized." Your eyes trail down his back as he leans over the sink. The thin white shirt clings to his damp skin, and you remind yourself to stop staring just before he turns to you. He doesn't say anything; he just watches you until your cheeks heat up. "Ah, well, okay then..." Awkwardly, you grab the peanut butter from your cabinet and carry your late night snack over to the couch.
Long after he retreats to the loft and you exchange goodnights, you lay on the couch and stare up at the ceiling, unable to get your new, albeit temporary, roommate off your mind. It's really not a big deal - he's just an attractive guy that happens to be living with you for a few days. Most likely he's just a regular person and you'll get out of this whole thing unscathed.
One thing you hadn’t expected, though, is the way his attractiveness is making you feel self conscious. You don't own any makeup, and your clothes aren't the nicest. You just don't subscribe to the whole beauty industry the way other people do. Sure, you had started shaving your legs because that was the thing to do, but now you only keep up with it because nothing beats the feeling of silky smooth legs. You haven't owned a bra in ages... Oh Lord, your nipples are going to be all in Yoongi's face and there's nothing you can do about it.
With a quiet sigh, you rest your hands under your head. Why does it matter, anyway? Why should you have to stress about looking less like yourself just because you're around a cute guy? And who cares if he thinks you're attractive, anyway? It's not like anything will come of it. He's just going to head out in a few days and it will be like nothing even happened. One-hundred percent back to normal. No big deal. So let your face be bare. Let your nipples poke. Who cares?
You have to laugh at the way you no longer feel paranoid about whether or not Yoongi could be dangerous, all because he came out of the shower smelling like absolute heaven. If that's not just the most ridiculous thing, you don't know what is. But he is friendly, and he seemed genuinely concerned when he was helping to bandage your hand up. Your gut is telling you that he's not someone to be suspicious of.
Relaxing a little, you make a conscious decision to push away all of the stress. You don't need to deal with that. You'll just be how you are, and he'll just hang out, and you'll just casually think that he's cute, and everything will be fine.
Yes. Everything will be fine.
Post Script | Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned for Part 2!
