b0hannon

27/he/him that’s it that’s all you get

[b0hannon]

went on a hike with my fiancée and we stopped to examine a bug (it was a spotted lantern fly nymph). a dude came up on his mountain bike and I apologized and stepped out of the way and said “sorry, looking at a bug”.

he laughed and said, “haha I like doing that, getting high and looking at the bugs.”

we were completely sober but I just laughed and told him to have a good one.

don’t project your lack of whimsy and reliance on weed to experience the joy of nature onto me.

[saltedume]

[b0hannon]

visited my sister for the first time in half a year. she’s 7 months pregnant and still smoking weed.

she asked my mom if she should roll a joint or if we already smoked (my mom also smokes weed)

meanwhile I haven’t smoked at all this year because I wanted to be able to get a job that drug tested, so I politely declined.

it’s only now occurring to me that my sister should probably not be smoking weed while she’s pregnant, and if I can give up smoking to find a job I think she should be able to give it up while pregnant.

especially because her whole mission right now is to have ten children. like, you want to be a tradwife baby making machine but can’t give up smoking weed?

[escuerzoresucitado]

shooo

[mistbjorn]

[yellbug]

modesty

[segamascott]

[segamascott]

[b0hannon]

the diarrhea disease being linked to taco bell lettuce instead of like, all fresh produce will be so funny if that’s really the only link.

all these officials telling people not to eat fresh produce, scaring people that eat healthy balanced diets, when it’s actually just people that eat taco bell getting explosive diarrhea which is like, what taco bell is known for.

in all seriousness, taco bell gets the majority of their lettuce from Taylor Farms, who also supplies lettuce to other restaurants and grocery stores, so maybe just avoid the brand and fast food in general if you’re worried.

[b0hannon]

love on tumblr when the alt text icon covers the actual content of the post.

[b0hannon]

something I tell anyone looking to learn guitar but doesn’t know where to start:

buy a ukulele, because:

a nice ukulele is cheaper than a mediocre guitar. you can get a good ukulele for less than $100.

ukuleles are easier to play because the strings are plastic instead of steel, and two less stings than a guitar

the chords are the same for ukulele and guitar tabs (a G chord is a G chord on both) so you can play any guitar song on ukulele if you can find the guitar chords

they’re small and easy to bring places, and quieter than a guitar if you’re self-conscious about others hearing you practice.

after you get comfortable with the ukulele, it’s a lot easier to progress to guitar than teaching yourself guitar from the get-go.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[startedraining]

[penismage]

“Y— you’ve saved me! Why?”

“..... Monkey.”

“Why—?”

“Monkey! You have shown me monkey..... Mmm.... Monkey.”

[b0hannon]

we were all so focused on mitch mcconnell being dead or not meanwhile lindsey graham got sick and died in the span of like 14 hours

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

[melodiccosmos]

[meowth voice] my own, poisenal jesus

[b0hannon]

ngl as someone who hasn’t been a minor in a long time it’s hard to empathize with minors freaking out about age verification in social media.

i’m kind of more geared toward being like, social media is a cancer that’s bad for nearly everyone who uses it and forbidding children from accessing it is probably for the better in most regards.

[b0hannon]

some of the most talented pizza bakers in the country are stuck making slop at papa john’s and it’s really sad