before i get into any of this, i'd like to bring attention to something exit has been very focused on, that i neglected to mention in my original post because i didn't want to speak on behalf of her health.
i've cited one source, but i strongly encourage anybody reading this to do their own research on the illness. from my understanding, graves disease is a chronic autoimmune disorder that effects. relatively everything. your heart rate, weight, appetite, energy, your ability to sleep, the strength in your muscles, your vision... i believe exit on every single account she makes regarding her illness.
i am not chronically ill. i cannot begin to understand the impact of her mental problems as well as her graves disease, and i'm not ever going to speak for her regarding this. but i will say one thing:
i did not Give Her graves disease. nor did two. exit is a person who constantly feels paranoia and disproportionate amounts of stress. she has underlying health issues that she Spoke To Me About that could've easily contributed. i believe that, because of how badly attached she was to me, she very realistically could've developed graves due to the stress of me cutting her off.
but i will not be a scapegoat for the physical disabilities of somebody i knew for five months. i will not bend to what she wants and say yes, i'm sorry, i purposefully beamed a thyroid disease into you with my magical powers! because i didn't. i cut someone who groomed me out of my life and i'm not going to apologize for whatever happened to her after the fact.
alright. after i cut her off, which was around 3 in the morning in my timezone (which. might've been risky, but i'd woken up in the middle of the night, and i knew that i would've been too scared to do it if i waited until the next morning.) ... she didn't take it well.
she left over a hundred messages begging me to come back in our private channel:
she also involved several of my friends, and, by several, i mean Literally everybody we were mutually in contact with! i'm .. not gonna attach any of that because i don't wanna put any of them on blast, even if i do censor their usernames. but when i tell you it was literally everyone... it was literally everyone
i had a conversation with her after this. i'm just gonna attach the whole thing.
every time exit would get hurt, or sick, or harm herself
she also edited her final message in this conversation a little while later to try and get me to reconsider:
following this (and i think i put some of this in my original response, but i'll reattach it) she harassed me. stalked me, friend requested me multiple times on discord, left spam in my inbox on an alt to both my main and my rp blog after i blocked her main account, left me asks...
exit has since tried to handwave this away by saying she was having a psychotic episode. i believe her.
But guess what exit! my mother tried to strangle me to death during a psychotic episode. you cannot just say with a bold face that you aren't gonna take any responsibility for hurting people because you were experiencing psychosis. obviously you were not fully in control of yourself but i had every right to step away from you after this.
stuff eventually smoothed out after this, i guess. two reached out to her a bunch, and while i don't fully approve of that and i myself never reached out at all, they came from a place of good intention. me and two were both scared when she went completely inactive on her tumblr because we were scared that she might've offed herself, or hurt herself, or anything of that nature, because that was something i knew that she was capable of doing if i upset her.
some people i knew wanted nothing to do with me after this happened, and i was ok with that, because a lot of the people exit stayed in contact with i didn't know all that well.
but every single person who i stayed friends with told me the same exact thing. that exit had reached out to them and Told them not to tell anybody.
i don't think this was predatory. but this was paranoid!
What is predatory is her sexually harassing me though ! party blower sfx.
ever since i was young, and as young as i can recall, i've had a fascination with 'loss of autonomy.' what loss of autonomy means to me is. well. just that. it was something i'd draw in my notebooks and think abkut and such, possession and mind control, or a character getting injured or too sick to care for themselves, or memory loss, or getting Stuck somewhere, or literally anything of the sort. i was vocal about this! it's morbid, sure, but it feels to me like. a horror trope. there's nothing inherently evil about liking a horror tro
she took contextless screenshots of me voicing my passion for it, and, while making it a VERY huge deal that i'm under 18, labeled it as my "fetish" and made a stance saying i was a rape fetishist.
sexual harassment comes in many, many forms, some more subtle than others. this is sexual harassment. it's sexual harassment to acknowledge that i am a child and still make such graphic comments about my character. it's sexual harassment to read into my recurring motifs and assume, and then perpetuate the idea that i'm into rape. it is sexual harassment to talk about my fucking fetishes whether they are fetishes i have or stuff YOU made up when i never consented to it or even spoke to you about it. i'd like to reiterate that i never spoke to her about anything sexual in our relationship, save for maybe a few crass but still Harmless jokes in her server.
she continues with this . very disgusting narrative of hers,
i won't speak on two's fic and i censored it here cuz it's not very relevant but the "minor they sent it to" found both their and my fic... completely on their own! no sharing it with younger minors here ! she wants me And two by extent to look like sexual predators!!! Do I Need To Explain how that is sexual harassment
and. in regards to me being into non-con and what not. i just want to point out
your body, my temple is tagged as dubious consent. yes, there is hesitation.... because its Basketone. one Refuses to do anything to basketball until she vocally consents . not only because i like that Better but because Consent is the whole Point of her fucking Dealmaker Gimmick!!! and so many fics on ao3 depict one as a rapist!!! THATS WHY I WROTE THE FIC!!!!!!!!
you were able to read the comments and out two for having the nerve to read smut privately on thier own time but you somehow ?? missed this??
Obviously this fic is publicly available. obviously it's somewhat taboo! but this is something that i wrote for myself, on my own time, and does not include rape At All despite what you're trying to claim. who cares if i indulge in something sexual on my Own Time just because i'm younger? that's not something you can just broadcast and use as a judgement of my character. who cares if i discuss sexual topics privately and Consensually with other people who are under 18??? Have you entered a highschool????
the point i'm making with this is that. yeah. i wrotr that. but i never shared it with exit. i'm sure exit was jsut told by her friend who read it byt either way she dug into so many cornwrs of the internet to fijd everything about me and used this as leverage to sexually harass me and box me in with some of the worst fucking monsters on the planet.
exit is somebody i knew for five months over the internet, who groomed me, isolated me, manipulated me, sexually harassed me, and used me as a scapegoat for her disability and her mental issues.
i don't think exit is a bad person, and that's something i'll always stand by.
i had a somewhat... duller ending to this. because when i started writing this it came from a place of defeat. exit had won and now i'd just spew out all the extra shit so that i could rot in my own guilt just like she wants me to. but now that i'm done i don't feel that way anymore, at least... not right now.
i have many regrets, and getting exit out of my life is not one of them. joining her server isn't either. because, while what happened to me is something i'm still. trying to cope with, becoming friends wirh exit led me to becoming friends with two, and so, so, so many people i surround myself with today. people who genuinely love and look out for me. maybe i'm not really ever gonna be okay after this but that's alright because it took all of. This. to meet people who changed my life.
i love you guys. and i love you too, exit. please take care of yourself
