To the future baby G

[babygleditsch]

The best day ever

December 4th, 2018

Today, I am 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Yep, pregnant. 

On November 24th I went to the lab to have my progesterone levels drawn, as I do every month following ovulation. On Monday morning, November 26th, I received an email that my results had been loaded into my online portal. I logged in and was pleased to see my progesterone levels were 26 (anything over 8 means you ovulated). The month before my levels were only 11 so I was immediately caught off guard by the jump. Naturally, I took to Google to tell me exactly what that meant. I found a chart that said your progesterone levels would range from 8-20 when you were in the middle of your menstrual cycle. It was right then that I thought to myself “holy crap I might be pregnant”. Brad was asleep on the couch next to me and I told myself I would take a test in the morning when he went to work so I wouldn't be suspicious.

Now, being patient absolutely does not run in my blood. About 3 minutes went by and I thought ah heck lets take a test now! I went upstairs and took a cheap-o dollar store test. I went back downstairs and left it sitting on the counter of the spare bathroom. When I went back up a few minutes later I saw the most faint line that somehow appeared to be jumping out at me from the minute I walked through the door. My heart immediately began to race and felt like it was going to come right out of my chest. I took a picture and sent it to my best friend, Kendra. Without even hesitating she said “that's a line!!!!!” and asked if I had a digital test. I ran downstairs and began to drink more coffee so I would have to go pee again soon. While I was rummaging around the kitchen Brad woke up to his two best friends at the front door who just decided to stop by after the gym and see us. I thought to myself, good what a nice distraction. 

30 minutes went by and then 45 and John and Jake were still sitting in our kitchen and I had to pee. I figured it would be good for Brad to be distracted by them so I snuck upstairs and grabbed a digital test out of the bathroom. Something told me to film the results of the digital test popping up. I think in the back of my head and in my heart I just knew I was pregnant. And then, just like that, my life had changed. “PREGNANT”. 

I’m sorry but whaaaaaaat!? Me, pregnant? Is this even possible??? 

I sent the video to Kendra and waited for what felt like forever for her to not respond. So, she got what every good best friend gets, a panicked phone call. She watched the video while on the phone with me and immediately began to cry (she is currently 16 weeks pregnant). She assured me digital tests do not produce false positives and that I was indeed pregnant. I hung up the phone and fell to my knees at the edge of the bed with the test in my hands and I prayed. I don’t think I have ever in my life thanked God so much as I did in that moment. I thanked God for giving me a chance at being a mom. I thanked Him for choosing Brad and I to produce and bear and bring into the world one of His own children. I thanked Him for the words on that test and began to ask him to keep this baby healthy. Then, I kindly asked God to make John and Jake leave so I could tell my husband the news. 

I always had this vision of how I would tell your dad I was pregnant. I would tie the positive test to Gracie’s collar and send her down to see him and she would help me deliver the good news. But in this moment it took everything in me to not just run downstairs, guests and all, and blurt it right out. So, I decided to film his reaction instead to keep for memories. When John and Jake left I called your dad upstairs into our bathroom, placed my phone on the ledge and the test on the counter. When he came into the bathroom I just looked down at the test. He looked at the test and said “WHAT!?” followed by “Are you serious!? Are you sure that's right?? How many have you taken? OH MY GOSH!!”. He is SO excited.

I have now known I am pregnant for one whole week. So far we have told both your sets of grandparents and everyone is over the moon. It is hard to believe something the size of an appleseed can have such a hold over people. I have since taken 6 pregnancy tests, you know, just to be sure, and my blood work has confirmed it yet again. In 16 short (but feels like insanely long) days, we will get to see you and hear your heartbeat for the first time. And then, just like that, it will be the newest BEST. DAY. EVER. 

I love you, my little appleseed. 

Mom

[babygleditsch]

To the future baby G.

I am not even pregnant yet and I am completely obsessed with you already. I am your crazy mom. 

Where in the world do I even start? How about here, I am not a blogger or a writer of ANY kind. However, our journey to you has already had an interesting start so I had this grand idea to document everything for you, family or anyone else brave enough to put up with my nonsense. Here is the best part. Your dad, my strong, supportive, brave husband, has no clue I am doing this. Good news is he already thinks I am nuts so he shouldn’t be surprised!

One day when you are older you will wake up and realize exactly what you are meant to do in life. Maybe you will be a chef, a baseball player, or a fireman like your dad. One day, you will know. Your dad has known is whole life he wanted to be a fireman. Sometimes I wonder if he was born in the wrong era. He absolutely idolizes the fireman who worked in the 70′s. You know, the big mustache, cigars hanging out of their mouths, non face mask wearing, salty fireman. He is so weird. 

He eats, sleeps and breaths anything to do with the fire department. If you were to ask him, he would say I drive him nuts always complaining about his entire wardrobe having a Maltese cross on it. He is a true fireman, a real guys guy, and he LOVES what he does. I am a police officer. I absolutely LOVE my job and get excited to go to work every day. There is something really special about serving the very community you grew up in. While I love what I do I didn’t have the typical “grew up wanting to be a cop” experience. My being a cop kind of fell into my lap and I never would have imagined myself doing this 10 years ago. 

But when I was a little girl, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I lost my mom, your grandma, when I was 6. I was raised primarily by your grandpa Mark and by the grace of God he did it! He took me shopping, listened to me cry about boys, drove me to cheerleading and watched me get ready for prom. He raised two little girls who turned out alright. I knew when I was very little that all I wanted in my whole life was to be a mom. I wanted to be pregnant, stay up with you all night long, drive around a mom mobile and be everything to you that I never got to experience as a kid. I want to feel the bond between a mom and her child. 

Right before your dad and I got married we talked about me getting off birth control but still waiting a little while before trying to start a family. Typically I am the ‘stick to the plan’ person in this relationship, but I surprised your dad when I told him I wanted to try sooner (he panicked). It was as if the moment we decided to get off birth control, was the moment I wanted you more than I ever have before. Thankfully, the only thing your dad loves more than firefighting is me. So, here we are. And here I am, staying up all night wishing and dreaming of you. Praying, multiple times a day, that God will bless me with your presence in our lives. 

Someday I will smother you will all my love, and I won’t even be sorry about it.