Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
trying on a metaphor
tannertan36
One Nice Bug Per Day
styofa doing anything
hello vonnie
🪼
Sade Olutola
No title available
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
PR's Tumblrdome
Not today Justin
#extradirty
Xuebing Du
Cosimo Galluzzi
Love Begins
Sweet Seals For You, Always
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Discoholic 🪩
Claire Keane
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@backyardening
I will continue to call The Creature “Frankenstein” and no force in Heaven or Earth will impede that.
I also laughed at him totally deliberately calling attention to the fact Victor isn’t a real doctor because he dropped out of college and built a guy out of corpses
He punched the lycanthropy right out of wolfman
did he just throw ygor out a window
Diving deeper into the mines…
Actress, Miriam Margolyes: When you know your worth, you know your worth.
She is beautiful and I love her.
She also recently said that JKR’s TERF remarks are fascist. So please, continue to stan a hero.
And she’s a signatory of Jews for Justice for Palestinians, was one of the first people to say ‘fuck’ on British TV, proudly called herself a dyke during a televised Australian citizenship ceremony with their PM, and has been with her partner since 1968.
why is your cat green?
She’s built different 😌
Look i tried to laugh it off, but I haven’t stopped thinking about this message because… my cat literally isn’t green
like where is the green
Oh Christ
This is the color your cat is
colors i eyedropped directly from op’s cat
I drew a tree using only colours eyedropped from OP’s cat.
every time i see this post all i see is some green alien kitty with antennae so i had to draw it
I originally thought those were supposed to be mushrooms, implying that this cat is moldy
Moldy forest cat
world heritage post
I love how this post speed ran becoming a world heritage post in less than a month
I want to tell you all a story about my dad.
My dad retired from the newspaper about ten years ago. He putzed around the house and relaxed for a year or two and quickly got bored with all that, decided that the best thing to do with his time was to volunteer at charities around town.
One such charity was Habitat for Humanity, which both builds homes and removed materials from houses sold at estate sales. He meets many people this way, from all walks of life- some retirees like him, some formerly incarcerated folks looking for volunteer hours, some young people looking for volunteer hours for extra curriculars.. al kinds.
My dad and I give off a very similar energy: kind of chill, tells good stories, quiet person likes to listen. Like a capybara.
He quickly made friends with this guy named Antonio, who talked often about prison. What got him there, what it was like there, promises he made for when he got out. And my dad was content to listen because he's never worked with someone who openly talked about these things. When he was young, you just didnt.
So one day Antonio looks at him and says:
"So what did you do?"
And my dad talks for a minute about how he worked at the newspaper for thirty years after graduating from Notre Dame, worked for the sports page, then moved on to do local interest stories.
"No, man- what did you do!?"
So he thinks... well, that's what he did, but it wasn't who he was. So he talks for a minute about being a father to two kids, how he grew up on a farm, son of a ww2 veteran. And how hes passionate about all sorts of things, music, stories, art, science.
Antonio interrupts him one more time.
"No, man! What did you DO!?"
"I dont get your meaning."
"To end up here in community service! What did you DO! It's been driving me nuts because you dont seem the type and I can not figure you out!"
It took him a few seconds.
This while time, he thought Antonio was asking him deep questions about inner reflections but really...
"Oh, you mean CRIME?"
"Yeah, dude. What did you think I was talking about?"
The Addams Family renting out rooms in their huge mansion cheaply to broke college students.
The students digging it because the craziness and the bugs are pretty much the same as any other dorm house. Also, Morticia and Gomez treat them all like visiting cousins, not like tenants to abuse and exploit.
One of the tenants is a creative writing major and Gomez and Morticia house them up in the tower because of the quiet and the inspiring view
They’re supposed to be working on a typical coming-of-age story but after living with the Addams for just a week the project is becoming a horror-Gothic-romance
They go to their room after classes one day and find Thing correcting the grammar errors in the manuscript with a red pen
and yeah, the students pay roughly market value for their rooms, but that doesn’t stop gomez from shouting “capital idea!” and handing them wads of cash when they tell him about their weekend plans or what they’re researching, so they basically end up living there for free
In the same vein, half the them have to turn into exceptional fencers, because Gomez just doesn’t give a shit, and if he sees you in the library, its fucking Sword Fighting Time.
Fester and Pugsley find out one of the college students is trying to get into chemistry and woo boy, there has never been a faster study of how to counter various acidic chemical reactions due to “water” balloons in campus history.
Morticia and Grammy are keeping the horticulturalists on their toes with their Black Tulip/Rose hybrids, which can flick their barbs a foot away from their stem system. But it’s fine, one of the kids has managed to breed Aloe with the anti venom.
Lurch makes sandwiches for everyone who’s too much of a coward for Grammy’s cooking. Any music major will find him looming over them, utterly stone faced as they practise until they finish, when he’ll smile, and slowly applaud.
And the spookiest thing of all
Wednesday and Thing will find your thesis. They will critique it in every way imaginable.
There is no escape.
I especially love the idea of Gomez spotting a student in the library, throwing a sword at a startled student, shouting, “En garde!” and lunging at him/her with a sword of his own.
Student (later in life), when asked how she jumps from quietly doing research to handling a sudden influx of ER cases so quickly and easily, says, “When you have to snap out of deep concentration on biochem to fight for your life then get back to biochem without losing your train of thought…you learn or you die.”
This has made me laugh so hard-
And you know how chatty Gomez is when he fights, he’d probably help more students work through creative blocks via swordplay than any education counselor in a stuffy little office.
Gomez Addams as the embodiment of the Rubber Duck Method for struggling students via surprise swordplay is directly on brand.
And I firmly believe that long-term residents who finish their degrees suddenly, mysteriously, find that their student loans have been paid off. The family attends every single graduation ceremony and claps and cheers for “their” students as boisterously as any parent. They make a particular point of doing so for the ones who have no other family in attendance.
do u ever want something so bad that you can’t even write wish-fulfillment about it u just. cry. instead.
I fucking CRY everytime I read these. Out of the good feels.
jigsaw trap glitches out midway through & he has to come in with a bunch of tools and reset the whole thing. "sorry about that, should be good now"
Jigsaw is super apologetic throughout the whole thing but the victim has worked retail so theyre like “no don’t worry, take your time. i understand”
you’ve just described what it’s like to work in an escape room
An Octopus unscrewing a lid from the inside.
Octopuses are going to kill us all someday
I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.
Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank
Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.
My friend who worked at Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Nebraska had a similar story. Rare fish were disappearing, they suspected theft, and so set up a camera. An octopus was unlocking the top of its tank, walking across the suspended walkway, unlocking the other tank, eating his fill, re-locking the other tank, then re-locking its own tank.
I can’t remember what zoo this happened at, but there was another octopus somewhere who was unscrewing a water valve in the room where its tank was located and routinely flooding the place. The staffers had no idea what it was until they filmed the octopus caught in the act.
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!! But, sir, it has already released itself!
Octopus Steals Video Camera, Films Own Escape
Octopus Escapes from Tank to Prowl on its Neighbors
Octopus Escape — 600-pound (272-kilogram) octopus wriggles through a passageway the size of a quarter
Legging It: Evasive Octopus Has Been Allowed to Look for Love
Octopus Escapes through Small Hole in Ship
My dad worked in a lab and one of the rooms had a tank with an octopus in it. If they didn’t go play with the octopus he got bored and would climb out of his tank and steal the paperwork off the desks, and drag stuff into his tank to let the scientists know he was upset with them.
Octopi: aquatic cats.
There’s also been a case of one hunting sharks in the same tank. Octopi are the assholes of the sea.
I love them so much.
You CAN Miette?! You put her in the jar like the peanut butter?! Oh! OH! Davy Jones’ Locker for the researcher! Davy Jones’ Locker for One Thousand Years!
By @shiroganejpg
Don’t hide this in the tags
a good thing about having friends with kids is that you can just sow the seeds for something that you’ll never need to address again. like tonight my friend’s three year old saw me eating blue corn chips.
kid: what are you eating from that basket?
me: triangles.
kid: can i have triangles?
me: dunno, did you brush teeth yet?
kid: no
me: mhm, and are you okay with screaming really loud?
kidd: what???
me: yeah, sometimes these make you scream really loud, are you ok with that?
kid: i am not afraid of screaming.
me: you’re very brave. you can have two triangles. then why don’t you go show your dad your new power, i gotta go.
op u live up to ur username
Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible
So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.
Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.
Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.
Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.
Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.
Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.
Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.
Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.
Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.
Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!
Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.
Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.
Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.
Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.
Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.
If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.
Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.
It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.
Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.
You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.
Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.
the number of times in my past that I desperately wanted/needed someone to sit me down and tell me this stuff. I will never get back the hours and hours lost to headless-chicken mode, but it’s nice to know that in the last year I’ve learned so many coping mechanisms :D
this is also good if you’re NOT in crisis mode but you need to Do Something with your mess & can’t focus enough for an in-depth clean of one spot. wander through all rooms with a trash bag and get rid of obvious trash, and you’ve done a lot for your space without having to concentrate too much. if in a few days you have the energy for doing the next step, hooray! if not, at least all the trash is gone.
Can confirm, I use this exact post as a guide when I don’t enough focus for cleaning. It spares my brain, and following these steps makes enough visible difference that it feels like I’ve accomplished something.
My horse Squidward loves the water so I took her out to a river to swim and she got so excited she shoved her whole fat dumb head underwater which I have literally never seen a horse do before
This is killing me I love her
i'm sorry but you named your horse WHAT
Their names are Chicken Nugget and Squidward, like in the Bible
I've been laughing like a hyena for the past 15 minutes
This process right here??? Cinematic gold.
"Arre yiu dhumm!?" In this essay, I will describe how much of a mood.com this is.
What
I was expecting some kind of explanation at the bottom and I just…
I guess we just live in a world where these things exist without an explanation…..
Ooh ooh ooh! This looks like an excellent excuse valid reason to talk about one of my favorite topics, matriarch trees!
So, when you see trees in a forest, they stick up outta the ground, some distance from each other, and you're like 'these are unconnected critters,' right? But! The thing is! Just like the trees in the picture are connected above-ground, trees in a forest are normally connected below-ground. There's this whole complicated thing involving a symbiotic relationship with fungi, but we're gonna simplify it to this: trees connect to each other through their root systems.
And they use it to share resources, across the whole forest.
If there's a tree over here growing in soil with a lot of, like, potassium, they'll pull up more potassium than they need, and send it out through the root system to other trees that are living where there isn't much potassium.
And one of the coolest things? Trees communicate their needs. If a tree is sick or damaged or starving, they send chemical messages out through the root system that tell the other trees to send them more food and tree-equivalent-of-immune-system.
Trees will share so much of their resources, they'll even keep trees alive that are almost entirely dependent. Like this tree! The tree above is getting some energy from its leaves, but no other nutrition of its own. And it wasn't able to link up to the shared root system. So the other tree reached out and hooked up to it directly, feeding it all of the nutrients it needed!
You see it more commonly the other way around: in an old-growth forest, where the roots are well-established, you can find stumps where a tree was cut down a century ago... but if you scrape the stump it's still green wood. The tree's still alive, without a single leaf. Because all the other trees in the forest are feeding it.
I promised to talk about matriarch trees, so here's where we get to them.
In a very old forest, you have very old trees. You have some trees that are so very, very old, their own roots cover entire regions of the forest. Their leaves reach up to the sky over everyone else. And after so long, they've developed to where they can take in way more resources than they need.
So what do they do?
They feed baby trees.
Baby saplings in an old forest can't reach up to the sun. There's no light down there. And their roots are too small and shallow to dig down to the nutrients they need. So the matriarch tree will draw energy from its towering canopy, and nutrients from its massive, ancient roots, and feed them to the little trees that are too small to feed themselves. For anything she can't get on her own, she'll act as a central hub, taking in spare resources from the rest of the forest and giving them to the little ones.
And one of the best parts - she won't just do it for her own species. She'll connect to all kinds of trees, because they're all necessary for the ecosystem to work. She'll adopt the whole forest's children.
Sometimes in forests you'll find a spot where there are a lot of small trees in an open space around an old, fallen tree. People generally assume they could find more light there, or maybe the soil's more fertile from the decomposition.
But no.
They're her children, and she's spent centuries keeping the whole forest alive.
Follow me on Twitter for more vampire nonsense
human: dude you've been in our d&d group for literally like three years, you don't need to keep asking if you're invited every time
vampire: i knowww, i just get anxious ok?
human: oh fair
I feel personally attacked. Lol
