bananamosity

I am not mentally stable, so enjoy the ride, and be sure to hold on for your life.

[good-omens-memes-daily]

Day 388 of posting Good Omens memes Everyday until Season 3

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

[dreaming-shark]

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

[ailithnight]

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

[chequerootlurks]

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

[thatdisasterauthor]

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

[swindle94]

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

[fromchaostocosmos]

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

[terulakimban]

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna. 

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted. 

[midrashic]

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

[kriladoodles]

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

[marablake]

I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.

[link-the-feral-anon]

It Got Better

[fireflyfish]

Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why aren’t we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasn’t pretty.

[rpendleton]

The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.

[greatatuintheworldturtle]

@great-art-and-a-purple-tongue @onbearfeet THE LORE HAS BEEN UPDATED.

[onbearfeet]

VERY IMPORTANT AND ENTIRELY ACCURATE now excuse me I gotta hit Lowes and Michaels.

[gothiccharmschool]

Another thing to note is all of those habitats must adapt to the seasonal migration of goths. As soon as the faintest hint of spooky can be detected at those stores, goths will arrive in packs. A small pack of goths determined to forage can strip the shelves of a seasonal section bare in 30 minutes.

[iamthecutestofborg]

Previous Doctors:

🙃🙃🙃 Nothing bad has ever happened to me ever in my life ever 🙃🙃🙃

Fifteen, an intellectual:

😂😂😂 Lol so many terrible things have happened to me girl 😂😂😂 I'm so fucking traumatized but it's fine don't worry about it hahahahahahahanshshddjdhdhdhdgsg 😂🥲😂

[shadow-wizard-moneygang]

[reblogsnotlikes]

What the fuck is that

[transfemininomenon]

[inklingofadream]

i love when the tumblr girlies get into a show middle aged american men like (MASH, columbo, breaking bad, supernatural to all our bewilderment, etc) but do it in a way that would make those dads go into shock requiring medical intervention

[ofmd-ann]

[ofmd-ann]

Line up and greet your captain

[anightingales-blog]

This is just good omens but the opposite way around

Cr : balsanaa on TikTok

[hikarry]

Aziraphale kept searching for Crowley's eyes even after they were already covered

[bananamosity]

And this is what we're crying about today

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

Someone: *mentions doctor who*

Me, vibrating with the effort it’s taking to not talk about something no average show watcher would even have heard of: oh yeah cool show

[raining-stars-somewhere-else-de]

aziraphale has literally never slept before and like?? okay ik he’s an angel and doesn’t need sleep to survive but dear god. he is already the shakiest, quivering, most terrified little creature and youre telling me his anxiety-riddled brain has never had a moment off?? for six thousand years this bitch has been catastrophizing every single second without rest?? fucking hell give that guy a fuckin blanket and some noise cancelling headphones PLEASE

[transgenderer]

i feel like knowing the word “yonic” (the vagina equilavent of phallic) really changes a person because after that point basically any shape or objective can be classified as genital-shaped. eyes? yonic symbolism. fingers? phallic symbolism. thats all there is

[moteldogs]

poking yourself in the eye? a cunning symbol of sexual intercourse

[transgenderer]

exactly!!

[afloweroutofstone]

Might I add:

Yonic the Hedgehog

[oligopsoneia-deactivated2018051]

you might not have, and yet you did, entirely cognizant,

[buckrogers2491]

[celluloidbroomcloset]

Am very much for bi representation. Need more canonically bi characters in film and TV. Bring us positive bi representation that is not weird porn-adjacent sexualization for male gaze-y dweebs.

Stede Bonnet is not bi. Dude is gayer than Liberace on a Friday night. Super fucking gay. Let him be gay.

I’d also say it’s quite IMPORTANT to his characterization that he’s gay. He’s not just married to the wrong woman. He is not attracted to women. He doesn’t want to be with women and that’s confusing FOR HIM. He thinks there’s something broken about him because he cannot make it work with a woman. That’s inherent to his characterization, and it highlights the damage that compulsory heterosexuality does to both partners in a marriage like that. Saying that he must be bi because he was married is entirely misunderstanding the thematic use of his marriage.

[tulipseason]

i love S2 of ofmd. not because I think it’s perfect, but because of the sheer overwhelming wave of emotion packed into it. I saw a tweet recently that said it’s ironic max seemed to want ofmd to be something it’s not- an uncomplicated pirate workplace comedy. and when I think about it, not only did they straight-bait their audience, they also sitcom-baited their audience as well. It’s hilarious how the show’s unfurling became uncontainable for them. S2 especially, is so raw edged and frayed and messy. the layers of angst and comedy and queerness and romance feel so BIG, so undefinable as one clean cut genre. It’s euphoric. you can complain all you want about the structure and the story beats and studio interference etc and I’d say you’re right for that. but ultimately - the emotional core and themes of the show (dismantling of toxic masculinity, forgiveness/second chances, queer joy unconcerned with playing defense) ring so true and vibrant to me, shouting at the top of its lungs in S2. and it has a special place in my heart for that.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

It's unbelievable how much OFMD feels so reassuring. It feels like a warm hug and a promise that things will be alright.

OFMD really takes you by the hand and it says "if you think you're unlovable, if you think you'll never fit in, if you think there is something fundamentally wrong with you, I swear to fucking g-d you're wrong and there are people who will love you." It says no one is ever alone, and no matter how hard things get they can always get better, and if you're spending every day trying to be more authentically yourself then you can't go wrong. It doesn't try to downplay the bad and the evil in the world, but it says we'll be alright in spite of those things. Our spirit will outlive them.

And that's just fucking magical, honestly.

[queerly-autistic]