banana fish as weird shit that’s happened this month (pt. 2)
Sing: Ugh, I left my headphones at home
Yut-Lung, pulling out his AirPods and offering one earbud to Sing: Here, we can share
Sing: Don’t you dare fucking say it-
Sing: *lunges at Shorter*
*if Ash were forced to attend a day of high school*
Random English teacher: J.D. Salinger’s writing had a strange effect on people. Did you know that
The Catcher in the Rye was the cause of not one, but
Ash, thinking about A Perfect Day for Bananafish: Oh honey, don’t even get me started on his short stories
Shorter: Why do you seem more ready to die than usual?
Lao: A FUCKING ELEVEN YEAR OLD FURRY SHOWED UP AT THE HIDEOUT AND TRIED TO JOIN THE GANG
Lao: AND NOW HE’S PART OF THE GANG
Shorter: I didn’t know Sing was a furry
Yut-Lung: WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH
Sing: I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I DON’T FUCKING HATE YOU
Sing: YOU’RE JUST FUN TO MAKE FUN OF
Yut-Lung and Sing: SHUT UP
Cain: You know, I don’t really see the point of Valentine’s Day
Ash: Yeah, you’re either salty and single or salty and in a relationship
Shorter, throwing an arm around Ash: So we’re both equally high in sodium, then!
*after Eiji’s had like five drinks*
Eiji: People always ask me why I don’t call Ash when I’m at home like a normal human being
Eiji: And I guess it’s kind of weird that I don’t
Eiji: But then Ibe-san would ask me what I’m doing, and my sister would start asking me who I’m calling
Eiji: And then my parents would try to eavesdrop on the phone call, and then they’d freak out upon realizing I have a boyfriend that I didn’t tell them about, and then-
Eiji: *begins hysterically sobbing*
Shorter, awkwardly patting Eiji’s shoulder: There, there, buddy
*Eiji, his sister, and Ash getting fast food at a mall in New York*
Sister: I want ketchup with my burger!
Eiji, sighing and getting a few packets of ketchup next to the cash register: Fine, if you really like this white people crap, then so be it-
Some random 13 year old girl: Um, excuse me, sir?
Eiji, turning around: Huh?
Random girl, smiling sweetly: Hit or miss?
Random girl: HIT. OR. MISS.
Ash, throwing an open packet of ketchup in the girl’s face: MISS
Eiji, Ash, and Eiji’s sister: *sprint out of the food court with their burgers as the random girl screams*
