banie

constantly bashing myself

[banieboo]

the way you’d have to put me in a straight jacket, throw me in a bucket of honey and then push that bucket into a puddle of quicksand to keep me away from nicholas galitzine when he was jacked as hell to play he-man… in this ozempic epidemic, seeing a fine piece of ass with some meat on his bones makes to wanna take a bite outta it like a rack of ribs. even if he didn’t have the abs i’d still be pulling out that barbecue sauce to drizzle over that chest and lick it clean off

[banieboo]

the more i hear about the dating mart the more i relate to lexi howard in euphoria because what do you mean straight people sex only lasts like 10 minutes and all the lesbians in this one twitter thread say at least 2 hours

[banieboo]

accidentally had a reverse august moment with a friend after i called them two nights ago and they didn’t pick up, so they stayed up later the next night incase i called again

[banieboo]

making irl oomf watch the pitt for the first time and on episode two she asked why people were shipping langdon and mel and not langdon and garcia, and i can’t tell her it’s because garcia IS GAYYYYY SHES GONNA FLIRT WITH THE EAGER NEW INTERN AND THEYRE GONNA HAVE A CASUAL RELATIONSHIP IN SEASON 2

[banieboo]

i like to imagine maybe abbot heard night crawling by miley cyrus and was like “wait…”

[banieboo]

who’s got javadi/ogilvie smut in their back pocket rn and wanna slide it into my purse?

[banieboo]

i think if jack abbot was in this episode immediately after whitsantos scene i would have bust a nut right on the fucking scene oh my days

[banieboo]

halfway through a fanfiction under the assumption it was eventual smut but i just rechecked the tags and that shit says TEEN AND UP i’m gonna kms

[banieboo]

really high and trying to comprehend current political issues i have no knowledge of

[banieboo]

the word cute makes me want to throw up

[banieboo]

i have a crush that’s crushing me

[banieboo]

they can’t keep “dead hopper” baiting me like this i get too excited lol

[banieboo]

hopper has a weird suicidal self sacrificing kink thing going on an honestly i hope he dies

[banieboo]

why am i being sat directly next to by someone on this couch when they’ve got space to their other side

[banieboo]

had a birthday mental breakdown and went to write a dear future me letter about it just to find they’re charging for sending letters now

[banieboo]

watching he’s just not that into you for the first time and having the confront all my delusions up front and personal, a sucker punch to the gut would’ve been easier

[banieboo]

if i had a nickel every time i was a third in a trio friend group id have like 4 nickels