American Phallus

Matt / 19 / TX / ♒️

[catchymemes]

[pizzamenu-deactivated20181209]

Must be an important raccoon.

[blackphoenixincorporated]

Crime boss and their bodyguards

[bowieboosh]

Please

Please turn your sound on

[iamhisgloriouspurpose]

You will appreciate it so much more with the sound on!

[unclefather]

I can hear my kid playing supermarket by herself and she’s telling all the customers that they are disgusting and they need to leave

[that-twink-over-there]

And she's right

[123472oodkkxkxkx-deactivated202]

i just remembered this and now i can't stop laughing

[catchymemes]

[zackisontumblr]

omg

[toastbutteregg]

just leaving this here

[lmaonade]

[awwww-cute]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[impaled]

[gaycism]

gays ruined the word hole for eternity

[archgayge]

i wish someone would ruin my hole for eternity

[gaycism]

[ovur]

[ironpour]

[theshitneyspears]

raven only saying happy birthday after they prove it with their ID is my aesthetic 

[fuckyahumor]

legend

[fuckyahumor]

i’m still laughing omfg

[selfgay]

[galaxybrainthot]

anon face said bottom rights

[meladoodle]

hope this isnt too nsfw for you guys but id really like to hold a hand

[hotvampireadjacent]

i can’t fact check this but better safe than sorry

[kokkuri3]

My father’s girlfriend is a teacher in self quarantine with us and talks about how she can see when students log on/what they look at, I can corroborate this.

[nitrosplicer]

As a grad student teaching classes, yes, we can see approximately how long you’ve watched videos, whether or not you’ve looked at our slides, and we can see the last time you logged on. We absolutely can tell. Edit: this also applies to D2L and BlackBoard.

[lexa-el-amin]

truer words have never been spoken

[politicallypeng-deactivated2013]

Greek workers, after months without pay, apply austerity cuts on their bosses car

[anarchohellenism]

Showed this to my brother and he went “bet they won’t have jobs after that”

THEY WEREN’T GETTING PAID FOR THEIR WORK ANYWAY!!!!!! THAT’S THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT!!!

[queeranarchism]

[hotdevushkashit]

Someone print this post out and nail it to Jeff Bezos’ door like the 99 Theses

[cathemeralcoelocanth]