Hey

Adult, will probably block you if you’re a minor, it’s nothing personal

[thewrldlooksred]

got inspired by a #pedestrian post + have been stressed at crosswalks and the like lately sooo.

✨️ PEDESTRIAN AFFIRMATIONS ✨️

drivers are so mindful and love me for existing on the road ❤️❤️

[pangur-and-grim]

alright I'm almost finished Project Hail Mary, and I have to say, I don't get why people are shipping the guy with Markiplier when he's already in a perfectly healthy queer-platonic relationship with the alien spider made of rocks

[pangur-and-grim]

that's insane. we need to change this

[prenbyw]

Spoon in the shape of a fish. Carved from some Sycamore I found just outside Wivenhoe, Essex.

[hinako-supremacy]

op i love your fish so much i made it a png

they are now a school of fish

[teaboot]

Posts that prove that despite about 300 thousand years of technological development, humanity at its core hasn't really changed all that much

[were--ralph]

I saw a short guy with the largest thighs i've ever seen on a man and i audibly said jesus fuck without realizing it and he turned around but didn't see me and my dick almost flew right off

[were--ralph]

The coworker next to me was like "what is it with gay men and thighs? i don't get it" and like you absolutely do not understand janice mind your own fucking business im eating with my eyes

[were--ralph]

Alright bible stans i need your help on this one

[bibleofficial]

yes, see Job 40:15-18

15 “Look at Behemoth, which I made along with you and which feeds on grass like an ox.

16 What strength it has in its loins, what power in the muscles of its belly!

17 Its tail sways like a cedar; the sinews of its thighs are close-knit.

18 Its bones are tubes of bronze, its limbs like rods of iron.”

[robotslenderman]

can you imagine tho if Eridians discovered radiation years and years after the Blip-A left

and they're just absolutely horrified because now they know why the Blip-A never returned, they sent them all to die, now to save their sun they have to redo the entire program all over again and Adrian is devastated -

and then three Eridian years later Rocky shows up with his pet alien and a ton of taumeoba all I LIVED BITCH

[stealingpotatoes]

i can't stop thinking abt this post so

[t4timekeeper]

yeah i just love it when a character is in an inescapable torment nexus for a huge portion of their life and it defines every aspect of their existence forever. also whats cptsd

[scribefindegil]

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

[lowpawly]

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

[lilyblisslys]

I bet it feels soooooo good to be a construction worker on a completely closed off chunk of road

[lilyblisslys]

This makes me literally so happy

[the-punforgiven]

I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it

[the-punforgiven]

I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally

[the-punforgiven]

Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere

[the-punforgiven]

Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh

They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them

Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it

[the-punforgiven]

Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it

[prokopetz]

Fantasy setting where every species of animal has One Fucked Up Trick exactly like in medieval bestiaries (e.g., panthers hypnotising their prey with sweet breath, pelicans reviving the dead with their willingly shed blood, etc.), except these are actually learned magic spells passed down from parent to offspring, so different populations of the same animal in different regions might have a different spell.

(If a species is domesticated you can teach it any spell you want, as long as you start 'em young enough; every breed of dog has a different "standard" spell, and knowing the "wrong" one is considered both a grave departure from breed standards and a potential violation of animal husbandry ethics.)

[v-for-fili]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[frightfullytreeish]

[queer-as-city-folk]

all of those are brown

[kt--extinction]

here is the picture from the Año Nuevo State Park instagram, the colour is suspected to be from rolling in red algae

[queer-as-city-folk]

That one is porple

[teaboot]

Caught Ollie scratching at my laundry basket so now he has his own

So far every time I set it in front of him now he's jumped straight in, no questions asked, and upon further investigation he seems to enjoy being carried in it from room to room

[imviotrash]

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

[the-haiku-bot]

“Kill them with kindness”

Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*

🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[bulbekuggeleh]

This opens up a lot of possibilities for what a haiku can be

[bi-files]

I’m a patron of the arts (I leave nice comments on aO3).

[byler-alarmist]

I'm a patron of the arts (I reblog on Tumblr dot com)

[teaboot]

Late for an appointment this morning because my beautiful son child stole a wrapped and bagged bologna sandwich containing roughly 300% his maximum safe sodium intake out of the lunch box in my backpack while I was on the shitter and refused to spit it out

[teaboot]

⬆️ Documented evidence of my sweet and perfect and beautiful firstborn son furiously defending his hard-won right to shit his brains out

[teaboot]

Had to draw

[hadesisqueer]

Two World Cup finalists from opposing teams in this fucking picture, this sport isn't real

[hadesisqueer]

Context for anyone who is wondering: Lamine Yamal's parents won an UNICEF raffle for a charity photoshoot in which Barça players posed with kids, and 5 month old Lamine happened to get 20yo Messi. Which is like. Literally insane

[joyflameball]