
Kiana Khansmith
Claire Keane
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
wallacepolsom
dirt enthusiast

shark vs the universe
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roma★
Acquired Stardust
trying on a metaphor
d e v o n

⁂
Xuebing Du

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

izzy's playlists!

oozey mess
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
No title available
YOU ARE THE REASON
taylor price

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@barbellsandtherapy
Geometry homework, Lin Yung Cheng
Calling out Yoga on the Pier for the ableist post today. I refused to "share" it but grabbed a screencap instead. ~ Dustin Kidd
Good way to start a protein diet?
Talk to your doctor and get professional medical advice that is rooted in your individual needs and history.
The Internet is a good place to get new recipes and research the protein content of different foods, but any major changes to your diet or lifestyle need to be discussed with a professional. Don't put your trust in random bloggers who have no qualifications in nutrition.
This is a theater stage for a play
no thats a boss battle
This is the Bregenzer Festspiele opera house, and it’s worth noting that this is not a one-off. Every single one of their productions looks like a boss battle and/or smash bros stage
These are all horrifying. Thanks for sharing
Young Men Embrace Gender Equality, but They Still Don't Vacuum
~ @nytimes.com
Actually this means they're *not* "embracing gender equality"
~ @JessicaValenti
I was trying to explain to my sister-in-law that I simply cannot turn on my car headlights if anyone is looking at me and she thought I was crazy.
Literally nothing more embarrassing than tying your shoes in public like oh look at me I'm a 5 year old because I couldn't tie my shoes tight enough to last a walk through the kroger
are y’all okay
nothing more embarrassing than being early for a meetup and being embarrassed that you look weird so you start playing with the notification bar on your phone pretending you're texting someone
I will be convinced that the entire grocery store is staring at me when I'm reading the nutritional facts on a can of soup.
Always convinced everyone can hear my music even though my headphones are in on a low enough volume I can hear the conversations of everyone around me
This is quite intense to read. It's been quite some time since I felt this way - nearly a decade since the 'peak' of it. I'd almost forgotten how terrifying just walking or even existing in public could be sometimes. I'm so far away from that person now (some might say I've even overcorrected) but can still remember the visceral fear and self-loathing so well.
Not that I'm free of anxiety now, but it's more like a sticky internal tendency that gets turned on by certain events.
I have a question about the "Empath" community, especially in its relation to people they call "Narcissists." (Note: not in reference to people with actual NPD) A family member has gotten really into that world lately. When they mentioned it I got immediate bad vibes, and upon further investigation found it to be unscientific and ableist as fuck. I have found it very difficult to research further due to the quagmire of stupid thinkpieces.
The way that some of these people talk about "Empaths" gives me very shady Indigo Children vibes, but I don't have any specific evidence for this. Is this something you're familiar with? I offer a leaf picked up on a walk which has since become faded and withered.
The brain is a strange thing, far from completely understood by science, and of all the preternatural abilities people have claimed over the years, the ability to sense the emotions of other human beings is, in my opinion, within the realm of possibility.
That said, if there is any scientific backing to the modern conception of "Empaths" (I am going to call them telempaths) I haven't come across it.
From an occult history perspective, much of the culture around Empaths reeks of 1950s Psychometry rebranded with new-age woo. Regardless of any actual scientific validity, people are treating this as a magical concept.
I am unfamiliar with the concept of "Narcissists" in this context, but if I had to hazard a guess:
Christian influence on occult history tends to make magic form binaries. In most people's heads, the existence of a magical force tends to imply an anti-force. For every angel a demon, for every heaven a hell, for every telempath, a psychic vampire.
If people are repurposing actual psychological terms for magical use, that's actively ableist, and dangerous to people with those psychological disorders.
So yes anon, bad vibes.
I have no hard evidence for this, I'm an occultist not a psychologist, but much of what people attribute to telempathy is more easily explained by trauma-induced hypervigilance.
I am both a therapist and a psychologist, as well as someone who considered themselves a telempath as a youth, and can confirm it's usually either that or a self-centred/unaware inability to be around certain emotions. (By self-centred I mean "it must be someone else's issue, never mine")
I think like, the death of Vine and Rabbit, Wikipedia constantly needing to beg for money, Discord depending so heavily on venture capital, Facebook turning towards spying on users to generate a return on all the venture capital that got them started, Adobe creative suite turning into a subscription rather than a single product you buy, the strangulation of streaming entertainment as every company pulls their content and makes it exclusive to their service, are all great examples of how like, it really doesn't matter if something is legitimately useful, efficient, or beloved, it is next to impossible for a service to exist if it doesn't make shareholders increasing amounts of money year after year. Which may seem like a "no duh" type of statement, but it's a very simple window into how the profit motive makes products and services worse, not better. And how that's not just a matter of certain companies or ceos being bad and greedy on an individual level, but is an inescapable factor of an economy where existence is dependent on generating capital.
And let's take that convo outside the commercial, as well. Capitalism is insidious. Even charities, in their own way, work withing that same cycle, it's just that the focus is on 'value for money' rather than profit. But the two are both using money as the standard unit, rather than success.
In order to get funding, we describe what we're going to achieve for the money given, and then waste weeks of the time they've paid for by checking that we've hit the targets and putting together data and reports to prove it.
Over the winter one of my workplaces got some funding from an 'emergency' Covid scheme to write and update the info on our website. I had 26 paid days to do as much as I could. Because of the nature of the grant, the funders didn't need a full report of what the money paid for, just a final count of how many resources I'd written. I used the time I would have spent writing a report about it to write a page about preparing for a GP appointment, which has been sent to dozens of people in a matter of weeks. It has done a whole lot more good than some desk worker reading in detail about the project's success and then never thinking about it again.
Autistic People Have the Right to Exist. Stop the Eugenics Fundraiser.
On April 30th, celebrities such as Mark Rober, Adam Sandler, Jacksepticeye, Jimmy Kimmel, Jack Black, Rhett & Link and Chris Rock will be hosting a live stream event to raise money for NEXT For Autism, with the intention of supporting and helping the autistic community.
Next For Autism is an organisation that is strongly aligned with Autism Speaks (a group that is set on 'ending' autism), and support eugenics, ABA (a multi-billion dollar industry built on child abuse), ‘cures for autism’, and other extremely harmful ideologies that all come down to the sole purpose of ending the existence of autistic people- the money donated towards this group and the livestream will go towards the 'treatment and cure' of autistic people (stated on NEXT For Autism's website)
Neither the organisation or the fundraiser have any involvement from the autistic community...
Autistics and allistic allies - heads up. One of the biggest fundraisers "for autism" is promoting the harm and exclusion of the Autistic community.
(X)
I wish this feeling upon everyone who wants to wear a dress, its really the best
this makes me so happy as a fat hairy guy who likes skirts and dresses i never get to see guys like me in dresses it’s always skinny twinks this makes me so happy 🥺🥺
here’s your friendly spoonie reminder that you don’t have to “separate” your physical illness and mental illness experiences in order for therapy/counseling to be productive.
your physical health and mental health are constantly interacting with one another, and for most of us it’s impossible to separate them. make sure that your mental health professional understands this.
you should be able to express, work through, and develop strategies for anything that is bothering you, including physical symptoms.
(I once had a mental health counselor who insisted I “set aside” my physical symptoms so that I could really “focus” on my anxiety and depression, but hello– what do you think is causing my anxiety and depression to be so much worse?)
This is so important (and at the heart of my work as a therapist/advocate)
I took on a client once who had been at the top of a waiting list for months. They kept being passed on by student therapists because they have severe arthritis. You see, the students were worried there would be too much focus on such a concrete/unsolvable problem, and they wouldn't have much to write about for their final case study.
Firstly, I ended up writing my final case study on this work, and had soooo much to write about that I don't think I mentioned their disability apart from in the intro (cause guess what, there's more to a disabled person's life than their disability). So fuck their assumptions.
Secondly, and more importantly, I also would have happily written the entire study about their struggle with disability. It would have been much more 'interesting' and hold more learning value than most of the stuff that's handed in. I only didn't because at the time of writing it wasn't the main focus of our work, and I wasn't going to go and define them by their disability when that's not what they were talking to me about.
i don’t think I’m ever going to get over this line
THESE TAGS!!! I CANNOT!!!
Though like honestly, I’ve been rethinking these words lately.
(For screen readers: The main post is a picture of a courageous knight and the text, “The world should have protected you. But you have been asked to protect it. What an honour. What an injustice.” Then there’s a closeup on the tears on the knight’s face. And I added the tags #the problem with becoming the kind of hero you needed yourself #is that it can’t change the fact #that nobody came for you”)
And in the essence, that is still true. There’s still a fundamental injustice that can’t ever be righted. And yes, I have seen a ton of heroes pour themselves out trying to fix the injustices of everyone else, while the wound inside of them is never ever healed. After decades on decades of saving everybody else, they are still unsaved. They have still not received the love and care and attention that were their birthright.
But for myself, I’ve noticed a few things that have really helped me heal and reclaim what I should have had.
My work gets me very involved in other people’s healing processes. This is very peculiar to my field–I don’t think a paramedic or a soldier would get the same experience as me. But my work involves helping people heal from trauma. I spend much of my week up to my elbows in the work of healing, growing, and becoming more whole. I give people the time and attention and compassion and empathy they should have had. We talk about the processes they go through to heal, and I research the tools and resources that help them. This means I am constantly surrounded by knowledge of what would help me–I can use the same techniques or apply for the same programs as the people I help.
My work and interests have led me to make a lot of friends in the same position–basically, other wounded helpers. We are all very used to ignoring our own needs and taking care of other peoples’, so around each other, we’ve often ended up in standoffs to see who can be tricked into betraying their needs and emotions first. Over time I’ve learned that it’s okay for me to lose those standoffs and admit the truth and accept the love and attention my friends want to give me.
Being in a community of similarly traumatized and disabled people has taught me the importance of modelling good self-care and destigmatizing asking for help. Even when I haven’t wanted to ask for help for my own sake, I’ve rigidly forced myself through the process because it’s beneficial for everyone else around me (and their engagement with the process benefits me).
So basically… when I wrote those tags a year ago, it felt like there was still a small, scarred, eternally unrescued child tight inside my chest, someone untouched and inconsolable. And it felt like she might have been stuck like that forever. Simply doing the work and ignoring my own needs would keep her like that until we both died.
So it was doing all of the things above with the explicit intention of reclaiming my birthright–of saying, “I should always have been protected and I should always have been loved; so I am going to protect myself and let others protect me, and love myself and let others love me.”–that she and I finally started to heal. I can’t just stop whatever I’m doing and touch that knot of pain in my chest anymore. It’s a lot more sheltered, scabbed over, and threaded through with connections to strength and love and my larger sense of self now. It takes a really deep hit to elicit that distress in me now.
That healing was not the prize I was handed for the number of monsters slain. It was a potion I brewed continually out of harvested monster bits and fed myself on a regular basis.
From my work I’ve observed it’s possible for this process to happen even if you don’t become a hero–but I think some of us are so hurt and scarred that we just can’t approach this topic with any sort of vulnerability. We need to be able to practice the forms and rituals a thousand times from the other side, giving out that love and protection, before it feels safe and familiar enough to receive.
for anyone that’s having a bad day, here are pictures of animals sniffing flowers
A few more:
POLAR BEAR???!!!???!!???
So cute!!
“Cancer/mental illness/disability affects rich and poor alike.”
Uh, no, it doesn’t. Rich people can afford the treatments and accommodations for those things. Poor people cannot. Get the fuck outta here with that classist shit.
Not to mention a higher proportion of disabled people are in poverty and people in manual jobs are more likely to become disabled, there is a class element to disability that cannot be ignored.
THANK YOU.
A quote from Chris Rock:
“I had my father get sick when I was 22. And I was poor, alright. And my father had an ulcer, and it exploded and you know all these toxins get in your blood. And basically, my father died, whatever, 50 days after his ulcer. So I had a father get sick while I was poor.
My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know… I don’t really want to get into it, but my mother was sicker than my father. And my mother’s alive. My mother’s fine, OK? I remember going to the hospital to see my mother and wondering, ‘Was I in the right place?’ Like, this was a hotel. Like it had a concierge, man.
People don’t… if the average person really knew the discrepancy in the health care system, there’d be riots in the streets, OK? They would burn this motherfucker down!”