[fivedrinksamy]

Hayden: Rozanov, have you ever won an argument against Shane?

Ilya: we never argue. He starts speaking French and I shut up.

[military-newsboys]

Ilya: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives Shane: I wake up at 4:30 am Ilya: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

[again-please]

kitten i'll be honest daddy isn't sure he's cut out for full time employment

[iamharryhale]

Ilya, shaking a magic 8 ball: Does Shane like me?

Magic 8 Ball: Don’t count on it.

Ilya: 😟

Shane, sitting next to Ilya in bed: We’ve been married for 5 years, Ilya. Together for 15.

[cuntnymeria]

[ilya-sweetheart]

wyatt: if you had to sleep with someone on the team other than your partner, who would it be ;))?

ilya: bood

shane: bood

troy: bood

wyatt: well fuck me i guess

ilya: no i’d fuck bood

[consumer-of-books]

Shane Hollander is a jock, Shane Hollander does not wear anything but athletic wear, Shane Hollander does not have a skincare routine.

Shane Hollander routinely uses sunscreen(for safety against skin cancer) and washes his face with a sensitive skin friendly soap in the shower. He uses the same bar for his entire body.

Beyond that his smooth skin is entirely coincidental. Ilya is very jealous of this. Ilya wears hair products, styles himself meticulously and has tried multiple skincare routines. None of which are giving him the supple skin he desires.

The first time Ilya goes to Shane's real apartment and not the sex condo he is outraged by the number of unused samples of skincare products, mostly because these brands are choosing to work with Shane when he knows for a fact that Shane does nothing to properly take care of his skin.

Shane's bathroom sink is barren.

Shane *enters Ilya's bathroom*: why do you have so much clutter in here

Ilya *outraged*: is not clutter Hollander we did not all climb out of womb and become world's prettiest man by accident

Shane *having no filter*: why do you bother with it if it doesn't work?

Ilya: 😭

[spiderblog-mcu]

Ilya: we will play mermaids in the pool yes?

Shane: don’t you mean mermen?

Ilya: No. I want to be mermaid with majestic hair and fat rack.

[military-newsboys]

Ilya: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives Shane: I wake up at 4:30 am Ilya: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

[military-newsboys]

Ilya: Making my way down town Ilya: Walking fast Ilya: Is that Pike??? Ilya: Walking faster

[literary-claustrophobia]

[memyselfandi13531]

ilya and cliff are the matt damon and ben affleck of #my gc universe. there are whole insta pages and twitter accounts dedicated to finding pictures of them engaging in the most overtly homoerotic bullshit known to man (it's not difficult. there's a lot) and quotes from interviews where they wax poetic about each other like "he's the greatest man i've ever known and my best friend. i'll love him for the rest of my life."

they're all captioned Which Could Mean Nothing and regularly break containment on hockey twt. which may in part be because ilya won't stop retweeting them.

[gimmiekiss1221]

i just know mr. "hi this is ilya i will never listen to your voicemail" rozanov is CONSTANTLY leaving shane voicemails. he's at practice and needs to stop for some water. what else does he do? sneaks his phone out real quick to leave shane a vm talking about how hot he looks in his ottawa jersey. he's at the grocery store waiting in line? he's singing a little ditty he made up about it for shane to hear later. shane ran to his parents house real quick to grab those yummy leftovers they forgot last night. ilya: five minutes later is calling and whining about how much he misses shane and needs him back home asap.

and shane listens to and saves every single one. he eventually has to start downloading them and saving them to a flash drive because ilya leaves so many.

but shane adores and cherishes each and every one.

[grabmyboner]

at the cottage shane comes up to Ilya so much with some sort of bug or critter in his closed fist that ilya is constantly on alert when shane comes near him with a closed hand. he’s like “shane what do you have do you have a bug get away from me shane shane!!!” and shane is laughing and coming closer holding his closed hand out like “babe its fine just look.” and ilya is like “shane i am so fucking serious right now.” and shane is trying not to double over in laughter because he literally has nothing in his hand.

[honeyybrii]

shane effortlessly defying ilya's internal self deprecation with the most blunt, heartstopping, to the point sincerity is such an important part of their dynamic to me

"but you know me, i'm lazy, so." "i don't know that side of you at all."

"is that what we are going to do? relax?" "i hope so. i would like to relax with you. for once."

"because you like to be bad." "hey, that's not what this is. you and me. maybe it was at first but, not now, and not for a long time."

to the point where it even usurps other peoples interpretations of ilya before he gets the chance to internalize them -

"but, you hate him." "no. i mean, i get that. but no. i love him."

and ilya has that exact same subtly gobsmacked expression every time he does it

[gaysie]

the media: hudson williams is KILLING his fans and EATING them and he’s doing it RIGHT NOW

hudson: anyway my bodyguard sexy af

[honeyybrii]

i don't know what's better, 18 year old ilya shamelessly flirting and calling his crush 'pretty' or 18 year old shane, who always hated being called pretty, pissed off that he likes how the word sounds from his rivals mouth