Way too sleep-deprived for this

she/her ★ Daydreaming whenever I'm not here

[fivedrinksamy]

Amy: Wait, you would take a bullet for me?

Jake: I would do anything for you, babe

Also Jake: except eat a mushrooms, those things are fuckin nasty

[fivedrinksamy]

Hollanov.

[fivedrinksamy]

Ilya: hollander, what would you even do without me?

Shane: Probably have a very peaceful life, everyday would be so calm, no trouble...

Ilya: so, you mean a *boring* life?

[fivedrinksamy]

Telling a historical fact about Hamilton is like:

Me: btw, canonically Angelica was already married when they met

My friend: canonically?

Me: .... in real life

[fivedrinksamy]

OMG The Lin-Manuel Miranda, what are you doing here?? Anyways, the pop culture joke this episode is the best lmao

Watching B99 for the first time when everyone already did is so much fun

[fivedrinksamy]

Ilya: I would quit my job to become a stay-at-home dad with our kids, but you're not nerdy enough to understand the reference *sighs dramatically*

Shane: You WHAT, our who?!

[fivedrinksamy]

"Omg, look, a Hamilton reference out in the wild!"

- me, while watching a documentary about Thomas Jefferson on the history channel

[nothing2chererlly]

Why are you watching a Thomas Jefferson documentary? To prepare for my commentary tomorrow?

[fivedrinksamy]

Yeah sure, and don't forget everything else in the world is about you as well

But that's actually a very funny coincidence cuz I just watched it randomly to know a bit more about the guy. Turns out he was more of an asshole than the musical told us lol

[fivedrinksamy]

Hollanov during games is basically:

Shane: *throwing Ilya into the boards*

Ilya: do it harder.

[fivedrinksamy]

"Omg, look, a Hamilton reference out in the wild!"

- me, while watching a documentary about Thomas Jefferson on the history channel

[fivedrinksamy]

Shane: Ilya, I need to tell you something

Ilya: *chuckling* hollander, I know you're gay, we already talked about it

Shane: No, this time it's something different. I think I might have autism

Ilya: oh my god

Shane: What?

Ilya: you can't be doing this the second time

Shane: YOU KNEW?

Ilya: you didn't? I was sure you did

[fivedrinksamy]

Shane: *entering the kitchen to see Ilya throw the whole package of chcolate chips in the mixing bowl*: That's... please, no.

Ilya: Jackie told me there's no such thing as too much chocolate!

Shane: THIS RECIPE IS FOR TWO SEVINGS

Ilya:

Shane: PIKE!

[fivedrinksamy]

Ilya: *makes an inappropriate joke, not realizing he also exposes Shane*

Shane: *in another room* Something just happened. I can sense it

[fivedrinksamy]

Btw, Ilya sleeps with a plushie his mom knitted him when he was little.

It calms him down and goes with him everywhere, and Shane loves it. When making their bed he puts it in cute poses like they do in hotels

[fivedrinksamy]

Jake peralta by the end of season 1

[fivedrinksamy]

The moment Ilya discovered tiktok he never stopped. I can just see him spending his free time between watching tiktoks and playing games on Shane's phone. He also says he's not addicted, but he spends half of his day watching those Sabrina Carpenter juno poses videos, and showing them to Shane at the most inconvenient moments possible.

They're in the middle of playing with Hayden's kids? "Shane, look, we have to try this pose!"

They're meeting with the centaurs? "Shane, remember this one yesterday?"

And Shane knows he can never stop him, he just lives through the embarrassment, hoping no one's looking at them

[fivedrinksamy]

Ilya: I wasn't that drunk last night

Svetlana: you were flirting with Shane

Ilya: he's my husband, that's not weird

Shane: You asked me if I was single

Shane: When I said I'm not, you started crying.

[fivedrinksamy]

Ilya: Sorry I'm late, I uh, was doing things

Hayden: *stumbling into the room, noticeably disheveled* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE DAMN STAIRS

Ilya: *holding back laughter with a smirk*

Shane and Jackie: *silently looking at each other*