Amy: Wait, you would take a bullet for me?
Jake: I would do anything for you, babe
Also Jake: except eat a mushrooms, those things are fuckin nasty
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@fivedrinksamy
Amy: Wait, you would take a bullet for me?
Jake: I would do anything for you, babe
Also Jake: except eat a mushrooms, those things are fuckin nasty
Hollanov.
Ilya: hollander, what would you even do without me?
Shane: Probably have a very peaceful life, everyday would be so calm, no trouble...
Ilya: so, you mean a *boring* life?
Telling a historical fact about Hamilton is like:
Me: btw, canonically Angelica was already married when they met
My friend: canonically?
Me: .... in real life
OMG The Lin-Manuel Miranda, what are you doing here?? Anyways, the pop culture joke this episode is the best lmao
Watching B99 for the first time when everyone already did is so much fun
Ilya: I would quit my job to become a stay-at-home dad with our kids, but you're not nerdy enough to understand the reference *sighs dramatically*
Shane: You WHAT, our who?!
"Omg, look, a Hamilton reference out in the wild!"
- me, while watching a documentary about Thomas Jefferson on the history channel
Why are you watching a Thomas Jefferson documentary? To prepare for my commentary tomorrow?
Yeah sure, and don't forget everything else in the world is about you as well
But that's actually a very funny coincidence cuz I just watched it randomly to know a bit more about the guy. Turns out he was more of an asshole than the musical told us lol
Hollanov during games is basically:
Shane: *throwing Ilya into the boards*
Ilya: do it harder.
"Omg, look, a Hamilton reference out in the wild!"
- me, while watching a documentary about Thomas Jefferson on the history channel
Shane: Ilya, I need to tell you something
Ilya: *chuckling* hollander, I know you're gay, we already talked about it
Shane: No, this time it's something different. I think I might have autism
Ilya: oh my god
Shane: What?
Ilya: you can't be doing this the second time
Shane: YOU KNEW?
Ilya: you didn't? I was sure you did
Shane: *entering the kitchen to see Ilya throw the whole package of chcolate chips in the mixing bowl*: That's... please, no.
Ilya: Jackie told me there's no such thing as too much chocolate!
Shane: THIS RECIPE IS FOR TWO SEVINGS
Ilya:
Shane: PIKE!
Ilya: *makes an inappropriate joke, not realizing he also exposes Shane*
Shane: *in another room* Something just happened. I can sense it
Btw, Ilya sleeps with a plushie his mom knitted him when he was little.
It calms him down and goes with him everywhere, and Shane loves it. When making their bed he puts it in cute poses like they do in hotels
Jake peralta by the end of season 1
The moment Ilya discovered tiktok he never stopped. I can just see him spending his free time between watching tiktoks and playing games on Shane's phone. He also says he's not addicted, but he spends half of his day watching those Sabrina Carpenter juno poses videos, and showing them to Shane at the most inconvenient moments possible.
They're in the middle of playing with Hayden's kids? "Shane, look, we have to try this pose!"
They're meeting with the centaurs? "Shane, remember this one yesterday?"
And Shane knows he can never stop him, he just lives through the embarrassment, hoping no one's looking at them
Ilya: I wasn't that drunk last night
Svetlana: you were flirting with Shane
Ilya: he's my husband, that's not weird
Shane: You asked me if I was single
Shane: When I said I'm not, you started crying.
Ilya: Sorry I'm late, I uh, was doing things
Hayden: *stumbling into the room, noticeably disheveled* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE DAMN STAIRS
Ilya: *holding back laughter with a smirk*
Shane and Jackie: *silently looking at each other*