All the people are fake,

They're made out of metal. he/him🕷️ 2010s sideblog: obscuremelodies not so active as of late (26/10)

[barelytoxic]

- Intro to me/my account .*

General:

pronouns; he/him

age range; minor

current read; frankenstein - mary shelley

interests; bones, typewriters, zombies, tim burton movies, 80s goth, physical media, journaling

inspirations; hozier, luke hemmings, jeff buckley, peter murphy, edgar poe

fun facts:

im autistic, thus i have a strange speech pattern that may show through. It also means i really struggle with telling tone and meters (ironic as a writer, i know.)

ive enjoyed writing since i learned how, and never really stopped.

idk how to write straight couples, as ive never experienced it, so I do it very rarely for now.

the first poem i ever read was "The Tell Tale Heart", I still love it

i lovee jeff buckley

i own a remginton 2 typewriter, though it doesnt work rn..

______________________________________________________________

information on my writing (+masterlists) below the cut.

My writing:

wips; 2 atm, ideas for 1 other i'll focus on later on.

My main wip is shortened to "SOLS". It follows 2 boys, one human, one siren. Both of them are gay and want the other, though they arent supposed to be together for various reasons.

themes of death, friendship, love, and manipulation/abuse

will be TWs for mental/childhood abuse & mild homophobia

My side wip is shortened to "MTR". It tells the story of a lesbian princess desperate to escape being heir to the throne while simultaneously falling in love with her childhood best friend.

themes of classism, love, lgbtq, and religion

genres i write; fantasy & romance w darker themes is really it for now. id like to get into writing horror though.

tropes i use often; queer and poc casts, forbidden love, dead/missing family member.., bittersweet endings, capturing

what i'll post; a lot of poetry, stuff to do with my wips, oc things, "how to write ____", mightt experiment in fanfic / oneshots or headcanons for fandoms im in, occasional goth stuff, general writing things

i do not write;

straight pairings (non oc)

smut

incest

retellings

Masterlists:

Song of lost secrets (wip)

this will be updated regularly/as needed.

[barelytoxic]

# None of you is mine

It soon hits me that you see me.

You'll find me in a glance among the trees,

or reach for my hand in that old pond

As I take each step searching, yearning

for a piece of you to call my own.

A piece of you not yet tainted by

other's touch

I'll search until my blood dries out if I must.

Before my every next step dims

further and further.

I'll drag myself so far from the

purest side of you yet to say hello.

So far you won't remember my name,

and the trees are all dead,

So far that my reflection ripples just out of reach.

I'll run so as not to blight your dear soul,

or the piece you hold most desperately,

so helplessly you feel like

a young girl once more.

The light I'd love to call my own.

The same piece you'll never let another hand hold.

[barelytoxic]

# Oh to speak in color

If I could,

I would take my heart

and put my emotions on display.

I would turn them into art,

and take note how they cry and pray.

Your heart treads a thin canvas

for all to see,

though I cannot pen the emptiness

looking back at me.

Artistry could

translate my heart

with your eyes alone,

as all the wrong words plague my art

sat up in a cellar I turned home

Unlike a writer's should,

my feelings aren't found

in a language I speak.

If anything at all,

I'm far too weak.

[barelytoxic]

# Truth lies in you

I've always had a problem with lying,

but I look at you,

day to day,

and feel myself become a bit more whole.

Studying you kills the sinner

I've always known,

because stars reflect in

every step you take.

And I found those the

easiest words to roll off the tongue,

no longer suffocating under that

strange, familiar sense of guilt.

[barelytoxic]

A mood board: Silvia & Hesperus Lark

– Song of lost secrets

"I trusted you. With all of it, I mean you-- you knew everything."

[cosmonautroger]

Edgar Allan Poe

[barelytoxic]

# a bridge to heaven

a click of a button could never

truly capture beauty as seen by the eye,

one could so swiftly be taken away from

The Beholder

while true love is eternal.

blindness be no barrier,

my fingers shall dance across your face

as I see your soul in front of me.

May I be unable to reach you,

I know I will find you.

May I be dumb, deaf, and paralyzed,

my heart shall lean towards yours.

It trusts in you to feel our souls in search of a heaven

we already know.

[barelytoxic]

# I did this.

my hair, my eyes, even my skin

each tear a fragment of my soul

so I changed it to this.

What is this ?

Do I know quite what this is ?

time shall tell.

I feel my braid, my dress, and my eyes

all turn to my mother as I once was,

to a fragile face searching for a memory.

Time slips through her fingers once more

she asks me the same thing:

Do I know quite what this is ?

maybe so.

words. words, i have words

much less than thoughts for her

I could spill all the words I know to tell her what this is,

Could i translate my soul's mother tongue to her ?

time shall tell.

my words, my voice, and my heart

sacrifice for a feeling made due long ago

racing through letters, though no phrase could pronounce

Clarity.

Did my mother mean to let her eyes linger ?

maybe so.

But I did this.

cropped hair, ran through rough hands onto faded jeans

i feel as i strike through my mother's heart like a spear.

I've never felt her touch in such a way

How many pieces are left of this soul ?

the one that tore itself away bit by bit,

as each word left my lips ?

I did this.

[barelytoxic]

# tanka

You mustn't go now

loving you keeps me holy

We'll run empty streets

and fall to sleep far too close

Lying in our memories

[barelytoxic]

A mood board: Emene & Salem

– Song of lost secrets

"It's nice to remember that despite any distance, we're both looking at the same moon." "Like we're always connected."

[barelytoxic]

# always

Always with you,

Longing for a touch that

Was once so familiar

All i felt was for

You.

Softness i'll never feel again

[barelytoxic]

# haiku i wrote for school

just out of my reach

i see only You fixed there

You see all i am

[nondelphic]

in spring we write scenes where the grief still lingers but the windows are open and something new is growing anyway

[barelytoxic]

A mood board: Hesperus & Salem

– Song of lost secrets

"Actually, I could tell." Of course he knew. Most people dont tremble just getting near the ocean, or jump at a brisk wave.

[barelytoxic]

# sweet to no end

you're morning's grace:

silk sheets and lemon tea,

and I'm just a coward

chasing ink to find a rhyme that might

make you mine

the light in my eyes is caught by your silhouette

dancing in the verdant,

I want to keep you safer than a secret,

warmer than a cigarette

Before reaching to taste death

like morning tea,

sweeter when the taste of you

lingers

[barelytoxic]

I really need to get back to writing consistently, but its been so much harder since my surgery. Hopefully soon

[prophetic-writer]

“What if I write it and it’s bad-”

WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS GOOD? WHAT IF YOU WRITE IT AND ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED? WHAT THEN????