batridden @batridden - Tumblr Blog

aynsasnya

horses and bulls

mergimergi

kissing like in roblox

unteriors

5th Avenue S, Glasgow, Montana.

syring3

wombrion

i painted this like a tacky girlgogames

wombrion

batridden

i think i have schizoid personality disorder

batridden

im going to start getting therapy soon so i will be able to find out (hopefully) when that happens

im tired of this loop im in with all my relationships and i know im not a bad person

Kill me

batridden

im scared of this not being true because im going to get stuck in the loop of confusion

Im worried there has to be something wrong with me Im not normal but this is apart of me

Theres a weird space in my brain with a shadowy overlay and a bunch of white question marks over it I need to find out what it is

my brain twists and strains whenever i get confused and unsure

everything smells bad and feels fake when im this way

batridden

im still attention seeking I just can't find myself having the same kind of divinity total friendship comes with

im beginning to recognize my closest friend and i still want more from it, im starting to really appreciate them though

I don't think i'll ever to reach with divinity of best friends forever but I think ive made a good enough best friend

im also finding new ways to talk

ive been keeping a journal that i write 4-6 pages into everyday its fulling in the same sense clutter on a sketchbook is, i find myself wanting to write more than draw somedays

ive slowly accepting this fact i might just be this way and its making me feel better about myself Explaining it to my mom might be weird but i always picture events go worse with her in my head

I just hope i get the answers i wanted please

batridden

there might be underlying autism too i dont think its normal to want to feel this much like a dog, when I wake up i feel my pawpads relaxed and when my teacher smiles at me I feel my tail wagging but maybe its all on the schizoid spectrum and ive never been autistic

batridden

update I realized that it’s most definitely me just being super avoidant and a bit anxious, I’m an emotional person, it’s just my personal guilt that distances me from emotional speech but I crave it a lot The autism thought could just be me being a weird freak and a furry

I want to post more as a small substitute for writing in my diary sometimes keeping writing up is a little hard and tumblr blogs have the benefit of having the ability to repost cool things

right now I’m really tired it’s going to be 4 am and I’m just sitting down in the living room

I painted my nails