What if your wife orbits my dick? @batsecretary - Tumblr Blog

shadowen

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

#its my wedding anniversary in less than 20 days!!!!

beardedmrbean

digitaldeathx-deactivated202605

self-awareness check, list five things you like that aren't media pieces in the tags now ‼️

#katie (my dog)#heather (my wife)#bumblebees #craft fairs #really good coffee

thecollectibles

Art by Ahad

#art

bertoyana

I have everything I've ever wanted.

— METAMORPHOSES.

#WAUGH #good omens

sashayed

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

sashayed

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

#mood

ruinedchildhood

Tigers with a frozen milk brick on a hot day

dragondriana

needless to say they are hopelessly dependent on the ingot

#kbitty....

crowley-anthony

#slowly having my soul crushed frame by frame

thought of this immediately and was delighted to discover it’s the same op

#looks directly into the camera

24x81

morning hot coffee and afternoon iced coffee are two separate entities. morning hot coffee is your state sanctioned substance abuse to get low level drugs in your body. afternoon iced coffee is a sweet treat that has no impact on your physical body but will boost morale. you can have 8 thousand iced coffees and it will never negatively effect you

#nothing truer has ever been said

invisibleicewands

From Quelin Sepulveda's IG

#them!!!!#good omens

sevensmallgummies

Sphinx employee slash bodega cat that blocks the door and asks riddles, the owner has the answer of the day on a paper taped to the door.

it never notices.

sevensmallgummies

important addition from a friend:

everyone thinks REALLY hard and regulars makes two bad guesses so it feels like it's doing a good job

prokopetz

I think it's actually essential to children's moral development to be exposed to short stories moderately beyond their reading level where a bunch of fucked up shit happens and then instead of offering a moral lesson or any sort of emotional or narrative resolution it just ends.

prokopetz

(Ideally these stories should be presented in the form of poorly curated anthologies with the most generic titles imaginable, thereby rendering their contents impossible to identify or find later in life and leaving the affected individual wondering whether they dreamed the whole thing.)