I read this and I knew I had to share it. Friends is a hard topic for me because I lost almost everyone in 8th grade because of hospitalizations. I didn't try to reconnect because I was gone so long and by that point my anxiety had gotten way out of hand. I had started a new school the end of my freshmen year but my goal there was to first be able to attend without having anxiety attacks and friends weren't the first thing on my mind. I had online friends because I could be more myself when they weren't looking at me, I would say it was because of my negative self esteem. As I got better with attending school I started trying to make friends but it was hard. I've come a long way since then and it's taken a lot of time but I do have some friends now. I don't have dozens of friends I see weekly but I have friends that I really care about. I think about how I became so close with them and why. I'm friends with them because I know that they are here for me and that they care, they know I'm here for them and we can smile. I see this photo and think if any one of my friends treated me how I treat myself sometimes. How different my relationship would be with them. How much I would try to forgive them and how much I would try to help to find out why they were being so mean. I think about how I would have to stand up for myself eventually. Why can't I stand up for myself when I'm being mean to myself? It's confusing but I feel it's a valid question. I think it's because I see them as worth it.
