sometimes i wish id die in a freak accident because im too cowardly to do it myself

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@bcmunniverse
sometimes i wish id die in a freak accident because im too cowardly to do it myself
i feel like killing myself will make everything feel better.
one day ill disappear and you'll just think im offline
one day you'll be mad at me for one last time
one day ill just stop talking to you
one day ill just stop being annoying
one day ill just stop
i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything
How are you supposed to just get up and go to school and go to work and come home and make dinner and fold the laundry and not want to kill yourself the whole fucking time.
I want to delete my existence off the internet and end it all
kinda feel like i should just die already
I just wish somebody would reach out and ask if I'm okay before I reach for my knife and fucking kill myself
only staying alive for the sake of other people is fuckin tough man
“If your friend is threatening to kill themselves you have to call emergency services, it will be worth it even if they hate you after!” Has gotta be the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. I would not eventually be grateful to that “friend” for “saving my life”, I was just punished for expressing my emotions to someone who was clearly untrustworthy.
I don’t know how they would get the data for this but someone should do a study on how many people that have been sent to the hospital for ideation end up taking their own lives once they get out because now they know to be sneaky about it. I’d bet the numbers are higher than people like to think.
Sometimes I'm so proud of myself for the progress I've made and sometimes I want to bash my skull in with a hammer.
I wish I could blow my fucking brains out. Paint my walls with the ugly rotten organ that ruins me
surviving a sui attempt is the most embarrassing shit ever
i can't handle living anymore. i'm so tired. i need everything to just stop.
learning how to kill yourself before even learning how to live
our first suicide attempt was when the body was 10 years old.
10. ten. and already wanting to die.
it really is just like that sometimes.
It’s kinda unfair that it’s so hard to kill yourself :/
If it ain’t a clear yes, it’s a clear no.