𝕭𝖑𝖚𝖊

Dear Diary

[lullxbyblue]

That post panic attack clarity

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I want off this ride so bad I’ll jump

[lullxbyblue]

Had a panic attack and someone called an ambulance and now I just want to crawl in a whole and die

[lullxbyblue]

I’ve been on a hiatus but I know I’ll always end up back here feeling blue.

[lullxbyblue]

I belong nowhere and have nothing but my regrets to keep me company

[lullxbyblue]

I’ve wanted to die for so long and yet somehow I’m 30

[lullxbyblue]

This might come across the wrong way and I'm so sorry if it does, but while I don't have BPD (as far as I am aware), your posts resonate so deeply with me. I don't know how you manage to put the feelings into words. I usually just end up keyboard smashing in anger. Thank you for making it feel a little less lonely in this dark ditch.

Thank you for reaching out. Although I’m sorry you struggle with these things too, I’m happy to be able to offer community in trying times 💙

[lullxbyblue]

not only did it cost me then but it costs me now, even in this room filled with the trinkets of someone who loves me.

[lullxbyblue]

I have nowhere to put all of this anger except back into myself

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I didn’t know yet how wanting to die could be a bloodsong in your body that lives with you your whole life.” Lidia Yuknavitch

[lullxbyblue]

I like burning bridges even though I can’t swim

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Trauma hasn’t made me strong I am just broken and scared

[retropenny]

[retropenny]

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I wish I wasn’t so good at wrecking the people who love me.

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My self esteem has never been lower

[lullxbyblue]