just wonder if you understand that was meant to be

beans | they/them/she/her | level 30 | usa | professional local menace make art that makes you happy or don’t make it at all, because life is too short to make art for other people. ask me how i know. 🔶 one piece | naruto | other new anime releases | star stable online | original characters | fine art 🔶

[beaniesdrawsthings]

hey tumblr, it’s been a while and boy has it been rough in my neck of the woods.

summarizing my last few months:

•shut down anywhere I had been selling physical art in person, bc one place discounted my stuff 90% and only then did I actually sell anything at my stands. Literally made more in a week of involuntary discounts than I did the entire time I was there, which kinda just said “my art is garbage no one wants” loud and clear to me

•had a colleague/friend from college come out of the woodworks uninvited on a lunch date to tell me that apparently I am not making the right type of art, I am not a digital artist, the type of art that I should be making is relief prints because there was one specific print from college that she loves and my body of work was best when my stuff looked like that (note: this print and most of my other prints were available at my stand and I didn’t sell a single one, so that’s her unpopular and hurtful opinion)

•had a client/friend call me crying bc we made something for her that apparently wasn’t up to her specs. I blew up on her bc at this point, I was just hurt and stressed. nothing I make is ever right. she showed me her worst side in return and I informed her we can either be friends or client/contractor, not both, haven’t heard back

•had my best friend ignore me for a month just to respond to me asking if she was joining us for my small 30th birthday gathering by saying we have grown apart, she doesn’t want me in her life anymore, and generally be nasty to me… we went from making plans to see each other, her setting aside time in her calendar to go to this thing, etc, to her cutting me off and blocking my number and I have no idea how we got here. I ended up almost cancelling the whole thing and haven’t been in a great place since

•hit the climax with our neighbor, who was harassing us bc she thinks our house is ugly and that it would affect her ability to sell to someone else. we’ve been harassed by her for over a year and a half, it got to the point where our town boro had to involve their lawyers on our behalf bc she started harassing town council bc she hates us that much. she put the house on the market a month ago, just sold it this week to someone absolutely stellar and amazing so far, and it was like four tons just melted off the top of my head that I didn’t know I was carrying

so as I think yall can see, it’s been a bit uh. bad around here. pair that with the symptoms of my EDS and then needing a hysterectomy pronto that I am fighting for…

im trying to get back though. I drew a couple of emotional support zoros to get back in the game before my cat bit my tablet pencil and killed it™️, and I started a silly little oc project that is keeping me sane. At one point I put a lot of effort into developing the personalities of my ocs, trrpg characters, and video game characters, and I feel like it might be good for me to get back into some of that again. the issue with being on an antidepressant that works is that the trade off for making the really bad times more bearable happens to be lack of inspiration and a constant fog of tiredness hanging around.

ima try to be back longer tho. I need to do silly things I enjoy if I’m going to survive this long term.

[beaniesdrawsthings]

I bought I printing press. I wanna build a studio so I can have a dedicated space to spread out and work on traditional art practices again, but it just hasn’t happened… this will be the first resident tho

[beaniesdrawsthings]

more joe pye progress

if you like speedpaints and want to see full versions of them, I always post on patreon first and you can see them for a grand total of $1 if you really wanna….

[beaniesdrawsthings]

watch me struggle to decide how I want this to look

(Joe pye weed & monarchs & things)

[beaniesdrawsthings]

hey, idk if I’ve mentioned it lately, but I have an inprnt store where you can buy my art. no one really buys anything but I would love to finally hit $100 so I can finally cash out.

Think of my art if you need an affordable gift for someone you love 🥲😅

One of my favorite prints

Miniature gallery-quality giclée art print on 100% cotton rag archival paper, printed with archival inks. Perfect for small spaces.

[beaniesdrawsthings]

my giiirrrrrlllllll

[beaniesdrawsthings]

there is no other way, never run far

take a good swing at me and everything is even

so finally, we agree, no place for promises here

you better run, you better run so

[beaniesdrawsthings]

slowly getting the groove. it’s cause I christened my tablet with my girl.

[beaniesdrawsthings]

had to invest in a new tablet. forcing my self to draw until fukukitaru actually looks decent. my tablet was very old, this is a steep learning curve

[beaniesdrawsthings]

old folk art photo dump

my tablet died today so expect some compilations while I wait for my new one

[beaniesdrawsthings]

some old works in progress

[beaniesdrawsthings]

Finished Pepper finally. I see one shadow layer I missed then off to the printer for this one. Thanks Claire!

Should I open pet portrait commissions again? Maybe??!!

[beaniesdrawsthings]

this years motto

(screen reader: the bottom of a sketchbook page with handwriting reading “I know I can do this, so watch me”)

[beaniesdrawsthings]

my silly little oc project (that i am greatly enjoying so far)

i made my first oc in my freshman year of high school for role playing. after her, i made three more main ocs through the rest of high school, and a few other unnamed and under developed ocs that never made it much farther.

before high school, i also played the star rider seasonal games, and kinda used them as a self insert when i wasn’t able to ride my own horses.

in college, dnd and ttrpgs were my thing. i had a few main characters for campaigns i never got to finish but i poured a lot of time and energy into when i had the friends to play these games with.

so i thought “hey, i made all these characters between the ages of 13 and 22. that was like forever ago tbh. i should give them all 30 year old glow ups.”

now im here and ima make yall listen to my crazy ramblings. suck my big toe.

[beaniesdrawsthings]

okay, before i go any further: a disclaimer.

if you have literally ANY issues with the depiction of trans bodies that do not pass as the gender the person identifies with, you don’t belong here. trans people do not need to medically transition to be valid. my spouse is an example, as am i. three characters i am developing are transgender in some way and only one passes.

and frankly, if you have an issue with that, tough luck. i am not even going to take the time to entertain you. working with little kids taught me the important lesson of not to negotiate with terrorists. you’re gonna get nowhere by crawling into my DMs over this shit. share it to shitbag reddits all you want too, all you’re giving me is a list of people i would go out of my way to hit with my truck irl and inadvertently making my (admittedly mediocre) art more popular by sharing it to more channels. so thanks i guess.

ALL trans bodies are valid and allowed to exist in this world, period, end of discussion. i will accept valid criticism of my art, but if you’re gonna be a transphobe in the meantime? goodbye.

[beaniesdrawsthings]

so to start, i have a couple of brief requirements each redesign has to fulfill:

1) their new names should at least start with the same letter as their old names, if they’re changing at all

2) their genders are allowed to change as i see fit as well as their races/species

3) each one gets a base dnd class so it’s easier for the me to build them out into playable characters

4) at least half of the characters should start out as a challenge for me to draw. my whole goal is trying to get better by drawing the same fuckers over and over again, so at least half of them have to challenge me in some way starting out

5) each one is allowed to be overhauled one more time as part of this project

6) most of these characters i used to rp back in the day. just about every character i made underwent some kind of transformation into something else via the friends i was rping with. therefore: if they are from a series, they need to be separated from the series. otherwise, who they were when i stopped using them is the bases for who they get to be now. (example: one character started as a bleach oc, then a friend turned him into a fish hybrid after a while for some idea she had and he never stopped being that afterwards. he gets to start this round as a fish hybrid because of that)

7) there is one exception to rule 6. we will get to her. it’s funny i promise

8) they all get fleshed out properly this time. i know the only thing i ever wrote down for most of these fucks is their names. i want all of them to get the same kind of effort this round

9) have fun. if it stops being fun don’t do it anymore until it’s fun again. I’m allowed to do art that is fun thank you

[beaniesdrawsthings]

first oc i ever made was named markia, she was a human demon hunter to go with my friends demon oc, they were in love, blah blah blah.

attached evidence: look at how bad this art is, but that’s her

[beaniesdrawsthings]

wow it’s been a while since I added to this. probably bc my broke ass iPhone was overheating every time I opened tumblr. Anyway.

I have at this point divided my ocs into the following main groups:

1) ocs prior to 2014: these guys need full facelifts and rewrites. they are not suitable for the public anymore as is. they’re all so bad, so very bad. most were used for role playing back in the day, when my friends and I role played things no 11 year old should have even been thinking about lmao

2) ocs made for ttrpgs. these guys are mostly passable but were probably never properly drawn or developed or… really anything tbh. the all probably need renamed at least while I’m at it

3) ocs made in my adult life: these guys are passable…. for now

4) other misc ocs that are from games and etc who don’t fit into the main two categories

the first category includes my four main high school ocs - Markia, starrk, Levy, and hito.

second category includes my dnd characters (toast, stoiries, the selkie I never remember the name of) and my motw character who barely got used but I loved anyway

third category is put in place as a placeholder category mostly. it includes a few ocs I’ve been working on in the background recently most of all, because I just got back into this.

fourth category includes the mega Tokyo oc I barely remember but still loved, my star stable character, etc.

cool, got that down. now to explore each one a little more, but that’s for another post.

[beaniesdrawsthings]

did it make you feel so clever?

did you wear it on your sleeve?

did you see another picture

where i was not a part so far intwined

[beaniesdrawsthings]

i miss you, miss you [work in progress]

[beaniesdrawsthings]

If you like my art for some god forsaken reason, did you know that you can buy it AND it’s on sale literally every day?

Help me make $100 by the end of the year by buying my shit on inprnt. I’ll love you for it. No really. I will. I’ll send you love notes and all.

Shop gallery quality Art Prints by Rowan Shaffer.