a/n: Switching it up I guess. Doing anything but homework atm and that would include rereading pjo for the first time in forever. I just started typing and this happened, so enjoy!
summary: after years of being inseperable, luke suddenly pulls back. way back. the worst part is, you have no clue why.
It was the first day of the summer term at Camp Half Blood. You were one of the year-round kids, but you still loved the start of the summer. Your cabin was full again, just the way you liked it. You loved being around your half-siblings. You loved being their counselor.Â
After dinner on that first night, all the campers scattered around the central lawn. Some played basketball or volleyball, some remained at dinner tables with a deck of cards, others roamed around catching up with friends. You were in your favorite spot, right next to Luke at the campfire. He kept a hand on your knee as the two of you listened to Percy detail his time away from camp. The fire reflected off of his eyes and skin, giving him a warm glow that so perfectly encapsulated how you felt about him.
He was your best friend. He had been since you arrived at camp four years ago. You were inseparable by year two, and itâs been that way ever since. Over the winter, something had shifted. There were less campers than you had ever seen. Your counselor duties were fairly minimal in those months, granting you plenty of time to do whatever you want. You and Luke spent every second together. Joint training, meals, chores, and lots of time at the beach, just sitting in the sand and talking. Touches lingered and glances became full on staring. Youâd always known that you loved him. Now you knew that he loved you too, even if neither of you said it.
You half-listened to Percyâs story, struggling to keep your eyes open after the long day. Something about an aquarium trip gone awry that Annabeth had a lot of opinions on. Normally a conversation that youâd be very interested in, but sleep was calling your name. You silently blamed Hypnos as you swayed.
âHey,â Luke softly whispered. You barely registered the way he tapped your leg to wake you up. You didnât even know you fell asleep. As you opened your eyes, you realized that you had drifted off on Lukeâs shoulder. You slowly lifted your head and used your heavy eyes to scan your surroundings. The moon had long replaced the sun in the sky and all the other campers had retired to their cabins. The fire was dimming and only had a few minutes of life left. âTired?â Luke joked, a smile tugging at his lips.
âBig day,â you muttered, returning his look. Luke stood up and held his hands out, allowing you to pull yourself to your feet.
âStill on for our lesson tomorrow?â You nodded.
âWeâll meet you there at ten,â you assured him. The two of you bid your goodbyes and returned to your respective cabins.
The next morning, you were in the training arena with Luke. The other kids from both of your cabins sat around the mat, quietly chatting amongst themselves while you and Luke got set up.
âOkay everyone, weâre gonna get started. Weâll start with simple disarming maneuvers. Weâll show you, then youâll try. Ready?â He held his hands out, awaiting a response from all of your campers. They gave a few nods. You took his signal and joined him in the middle of the mat.
The two of you started slow. Luke explained every step out loud as you walked through different tricks. You took a backseat, letting him do most of the teaching. Though you also had years of training, he was the real expert. Once you had walked through everything in slow motion, it was time to go full speed.
You two sparred almost every day. Itâs become more of a game than a training exercise at this point, but you would reel it in while your cabins were present. You stood across from him, knees bent, sword out, and leaving forward ever so slightly.Â
He made the first move. You stepped forward, trying to nudge him back with the tip of your sword, but he was way ahead of you. He used his blade to push back against yours, hard. You stumbled backwards and barely caught yourself when an idea popped into your head. There was no way youâd be beating him with force. Luckily, you knew his greatest weakness. You.
Instead of what you usually did, barely holding your ground while he went easy on you, you tried a new tactic. You leaned towards him and whispered,Â
âLooking good, Castellan.â It wasnât much, but accompanied by your big smile and your shiny eyes, he was so distracted. You took that opportunity to sweep your leg under his feet, which sent him tumbling backward. In one swift move, you dropped to your knees and used your sword to knock his weapon out of his hand.Â
You landed right over him, straddling his waist. He just stared up at you, mouth slightly ajar in shock, but a glint of amusement in his eye. You stared back with a proud smile, completely forgetting there were other people in the room. That is, until some of the campers started cheering. You were snapped out of your little moment with Luke from the noise, and rolled off of him.Â
You got to your feet and laughed as you turned to the kids and gave an exaggerated bow, leaving your partner on the floor. It wasnât often that anyone got to see Luke lose a sword fight. You certainly werenât expecting it. Before you could get lost in your victory lap, you turned back to Luke and extended your arms to him. He took your hands and pulled himself up. He just kept staring at you in amazement, ears bright pink.
âYou alright?â You whispered, leaning towards his ear. He nodded.
âYouâve never beaten me before,â he said, chuckling. He was so close to you, you could have just stared forever. But unfortunately there were twenty preteens waiting on instructions from you.
âOkay guys, your turn!â You shouted to the kids. âUsual drill. Start slow, and weâll be around to check your form.â As the kids dispersed to find their partners, you flopped onto the ground next to your water bottle. Luke grabbed both of your swords and joined you on the floor, still smiling ear to ear.Â
âWhat?â You asked, enjoying his enjoyment.
âYou fight dirty.â He said it like it was a good thing. You shrugged and bumped his shoulder with yours.Â
âNo rules in the wild.â You didnât wait for another laugh or snarky response. You stood up and started making your rounds, satisfied with your work. As Luke started checking in on some of the kids while they sparred, one of his pulled him by the sleeve.
âHey Luke,â the younger camper called. âSo the key to beating the best swordsman in 300 years is making googly eyes?â He teased. Luke scanned the room for you, but you were on the opposite side of the mat, assisting one of your own. âYouâre staring again,â the camper said. Luke shot his eyes back to the camper, and tried to respond when another one jumped in.
âCome on man, itâs so obvious that youâre obsessed with her.â He started. Luke crossed his arms in protest. âYou two are the oldest ones here, why donât you just run away and get married or something,â he suggested, like it was so obvious.Â
Luke had nothing to say. Instead, he looked down to the campers hands and smacked both of their swords to the ground. They stared at him with slack jaws, but he was already turning around as the clanging sound rang out. Luke laughed.
âBetter work on your grips!â He shouted.
Luke replayed what those campers said long after they left the arena. He always knew he loved you. He thought you loved him too. It wasnât the first time he thought about leaving camp and having a real life with you. In fact, he constantly forced himself not to think about it. Two demigods living under the same roof outside Half-Blood Hill? It was dangerous at best. Deadly at worst. He considered many possibilities. He was an incredible fighter. You were practically a genius. Maybe it could work. Or maybe you would be targeted by all of the monsters in the world.
As he sat at the Hermes dinner table with his half siblings and unclaimed campers, he tried to focus on the conversations around him. But there you were, two tables away, smiling at him. He tried to smile back, but he just couldnât force it. You eyed him for a moment, silently asking him what was wrong, but he just looked back down at his plate. Thatâs when he decided. It was better- safer, for both of you, if he just backed off.
You, of course, had no clue what Luke was thinking. When he tore away from your gaze at dinner, you didn't think much of it. Maybe he was tired, distracted, or just in a weird mood. You gave him room to breathe, and figured youâd talk to him in the morning.
You did talk to him in the morning, though it didnât go as expected. After breakfast, you caught him on his way back to his cabin.
âHey Luke!â You shouted, getting him to turn around. Excitement flickered in his eyes, but he quickly blinked it away. You jogged to catch up with him, but he didnât stop walking. âAre we sparring today?â You inquired. You didnât really need to ask, it was routine at this point. Which is why you didnât believe him when he shook his head and muttered,
âNot today.â He could hardly look at you. You still thought he was messing around.
âWhatâs the matter, scared youâll lose again?â You joked. Now Luked stopped, and turned to face you. He took a deep breath and mustered up his best smile. It didnât quite reach his eyes.
âNo, I just- could use a day off.â He assured you. You nodded slowly, skeptical.
âYou okay?â You asked.Â
âIâm okay. Iâll see you later, alright?â You believed him. It was Luke, of course you believed him.
âOkay,â you said, but he was already walking away.
You didnât see him later. Not like you usually would, at least. You stuck to your usual training rotation and took your cabin to archery. It was your specialty, so Luke usually brought his campers to learn from you too. They didnât show today.Â
At lunch, Luke was at his table like normal. That made you feel a little bit better, at least he wasnât deadly ill or something. But he is avoiding you. He sat in a different spot than usual, so his back was to you. A pit settled in your stomach. Something was definitely wrong. You didnât see the way he practically flinched when he caught you staring. Ignoring you went against every instinct he had, but he was doing it for you.
The next day was the same story. You saw him at meals, but he didnât see you. You did what counselors do and took your kids from chores to training and left them to do whatever for the rest of the day. You joined some of them for crafts in the afternoon, but you felt like you were somewhere else. You and five of your half siblings sat on the floor in the middle of your cabin, stringing beads onto thin leather strips.Â
âAre you making one for Luke?â One of your half-siblings asked. She was only ten, but she was very intuitive. You hadnât spoken much in the last hour, and she saw right through it.
âOh, I donât know.â You replied, absently placing another bead on the string. Luke probably had twenty bracelets from you at this point. He always had one or two on, wearing them until the string wore out completely and broke. One year, he had some Hephaestus kids forge you a bangle bracelet out of bronze in return. You never took it off.
âYou havenât talked to him all day,â another sibling mentioned.Â
âI donât always have to be glued to him,â you said, frustration spilling out more than you intended. But your sibling just shrugged.
âYes you do. Itâs like the first rule of Camp Half Blood.â The other kids laughed. You didnât. The younger one frowned.
âDid something happen?â She asked. You bit your lip.
âI wish I knew.â You stood up, dropping your string of beads. They spilled onto the floor, but you couldnât be bothered to deal with it. Instead, you walked to the door. âIâm going to get some air,â you announced before going outside.
On day three of no Luke, you felt like you were losing it. You stayed at the arena long after you sent your campers onto the next thing. A line of dismembered dummies laid on the floor as you pointed your sword at the last one standing. Sweat rolled down your face as you calculated your next move. Just as you took your aim, the door opened.
Luke popped in, holding his sword over his shoulder. You locked eyes right away. He didnât light up like usual. He looked at you, but it was like he didnât see you. You thought he might say something. Maybe crack a joke about the massacre of dummies you left on the ground. Maybe tell you what was going on. But he just took a breath and turned around.
âWait, Luke!â You shouted after him. But he was already gone. This was a new level of avoiding you. You wanted to scream or cry, but instead you swung your sword with all of your strength, and the last dummy's head came clean off.
You spent your day stewing in that interaction. And the one before, and the one before, and the one before. You showered for longer than usual. You ate dinner in silence. You were currently getting destroyed in 1v1 basketball by Percy, because your mind was just somewhere else. All you could think about is what the hell happened with Luke. A basketball to the face pulled you out of your thoughts.
âShoot, sorry!â Percy muttered, jogging over to you. You knew it wasnât his fault, you werenât exactly on your game tonight. His hands hovered around your head, trying to assess the damage.
âIâm okay, Percy. Donât worry about it.â The ball didnât hit you hard enough to leave a mark, and you were barely phased. Percy dropped his hands, still looking you over. He wasnât stupid, he knew something was going on with you and Luke.
âDo you want to just call it?â He gently inquired. You forced a smile and nodded. âCampfireâs calling my name anyways, Iâm getting a little cold.â He mentioned. You agreed with him, and the two of you walked towards the campfire.Â
The warmth of the fire was inviting, even from where you stood ten yards away. It was pretty crowded like usual. You scanned the circle for your usual spot and saw Annabeth. You were about to beeline for her when you saw who she was sitting by, and you stopped in your tracks. It was Luke. And not the brooding, silent Luke you had seen this week. It was normal Luke. He was laughing at something she had said, eyes filled with spirit in a way you hadnât seen in days. Percy turned to you when he realized you stopped.
âUh, actually, I think Iâm just going to go to bed. Dayâs catching up to me,â you quickly spit out. Percy frowned, following your eyeline to Luke and Annabeth.Â
âOkay,â He was unconvinced by your excuse, but nodded slowly. âGoodnight.â He said, then continued on very slowly, in case you needed him for something. You didnât stop him.
Now your mind was reeling. You knew Luke had a problem. But now it was abundantly clear that his problem was you. You walked away before he could see you. You marched past your cabin, continuing on to the woods. Once you were hidden by the trees, you finally let a tear fall. Then another. And another. By the time you reached the beach, you were a mess.
Clarisse hiked through the woods that evening, scouting some routes and hiding spots for the next game of capture the flag. She walked along the edge of the woods and the beach, scanning the treeline for a place to set up the trap she made that day. The outskirts of camp were abandoned, most campers hanging out by the bonfire or playing games of volleyball until curfew.
She knelt down next to one particularly sturdy tree trunk, and pulled out a knife to score an âXâ into the bark, so she could find it again later. Thatâs when she heard a noise coming from the beach. At first she thought it was the wind, and didnât bother to look up. And then she heard it again. It was a little sniffle, followed by a choked sob. At that, her head snapped up. She eyed the beach curiously where she discovered you sitting just a foot away from the water.
She knew what- well, who you were crying over. Though she didnât know what happened between you and Luke this week, every single person at camp knew that something happened. Clarisse wasnât one to get involved in stuff like this. But you just looked so sad and crumpled.
You wrapped your arms around your legs, pulling them impossibly close to your chest. Your head was tucked between your knees as if you could make yourself so small that youâd disappear. It was almost working, but the way your whole body shook with each sob gave you away. Even Clarisse knew you didnât deserve this. You were always nice to her, whether she deserved it or not. You treated everyone like that. Especially Luke, which is why she knew this had to be his fault.
She wouldnât approach you. She didnât know how to deal with your blubbering, plus if you came all the way out here, you clearly wanted to be alone. Clarisse settled on intervening in a way that was more up her alley. She marched back through the woods and straight to the campfire where she found just who she was looking for.
âCastellan!â Clarisse shouted as she approached Luke. He was sitting with Annabeth and Percy, quietly talking under the camp song that one of Apollo's kids strummed on his lyre. The whole camp went silent, both alarmed and interested by the scene unfolding. Luke jumped to his feet and greeted her with his usual smile.
âTo what do I owe the pleasure?â He inquired calmly, despite her shouting. She crossed her arms, annoyed by how normal he was acting.
âYou left a mess on the beach,â she spat. Lukeâs eyebrows knit together, trying to figure out what she meant.
âI didnât go to the beach today,â he said. Apparently this wasnât the epic showdown the other campers were hoping for, because most of them had gone back to what they were doing. Percy and Annabeth still listened, just as confused as Luke.
âWell thereâs an issue there, and it has your name written all over it.â Clarisse explained. âSo go deal with it.â With that, she took her leave and joined a group of kids from her cabin at the basketball court.
The sun was starting to set and Luke knew he only had so long before he needed to corral his campers into their cabin for the night. But he was curious and a bit concerned as to what Clarisse was referring to at the beach. He mentally traced his steps from the day, he was sure he hadnât been there. Maybe someone from his cabin caused trouble up there? It sure sounded like something they would do, but something about the way Clarisse said it threw him off. Had his name written all over it? He needed to go see for himself.
Luke informed his friends that he was going to see what was at the beach, assuring them he didnât need any help. And then, he set off on his walk. For the ten minute journey, his mind wandered. His thoughts flickered to you, and what you were doing. Percy had said you turned in for the night early. Youâre better off, he told himself. Youâd get over it. Itâs only up from here. The truth was, it was killing him not being around you all week. Every time he caught your gaze from across camp, he wanted to throw himself into the river Styx. It would have been easier than denying you.Â
He tried to think about something else. He focused on the crunch of the fallen branches under his feet as he trudged through the woods. Then when the water came into view, he kept his attention on the way the sun glittered on the little waves that fizzled out long before they reached the shore. He had nearly forgotten his troubles once his feet hit the sand. There wasnât much to see. He thought maybe Clarisse was just messing with him, or trying to get rid of him while she did something behind his back. Thatâs when he saw it.
Just a spec from where he stood. But the bright orange shirt gave you away, it was undoubtedly a camper. Luke decided it must have been a kid from his cabin that he needed to retrieve, so he kept going. It only took a few steps for him to get a better view. Then it hit him. It was you.
He hesitated. He stared at you, trying to make himself turn around and go back to the campfire. He stared instead, frozen in place. Then he saw the way your back shook. How you kept wiping your eyes and gasping for air and- oh. You were crying. Lukeâs heart fell into his stomach. You hardly ever cried. The last time he saw a single tear from you was years ago. He demanded to know who hurt you that day, and took care of it himself. He didnât need to ask this time.
There was no way he could turn around and leave you now. He didnât even notice that his feet started moving again until he was standing right in front of you. You heard him come up behind you. You didnât turn around or acknowledge him. Your eyes were trained on your bronze bangle, the one Luke gave you a couple years ago. It was all scuffed up and not shiny anymore, but you could still barely see the little âLâ etched into the middle.
Luke tentatively sat down next to you. Not as close as he wanted to be, but probably way closer than you wanted him right now. He didnât say anything, just studied your face. Your eyes were puffy, your whole face had gone pink, and you looked so tired. Like you hadnât slept in days. Did he really do this? Luke thought. You just sat there. Waited him to say something, because you were at a loss.Â
When he didnât say anything, you turned to face him. His eyes were already all over you, clouding over in a way that almost never happened. He was lost in his own mind, being pulled back and forth on what to do.
âI donât understand,â you started. âI have you one day and the next I just donât.â You little sniffles between words cut deep into Lukeâs skin. âI keep replaying everything in my head trying to figure out what I did, but I just donât know.â You concluded your rant, staring at him expectantly. A single tear rolled down your cheek. That was plenty for Luke.
âNo,â Luke said softly, scooting closer and taking your face into his hands. âYou didnât do anything,â
âThen why are you avoiding me?â The way your lip pouted nearly broke Luke right there. He forgot all words for a moment, brain short circuiting.
âIâm just- scared.â He admitted. You didnât understand. What could Luke Castellan possibly be scared of? But like always, he read your mind. âWhen we were training the other day, one of the kids said something. Made a joke about us running away together. The thing is- thatâs everything Iâve ever wanted. A life with you, a real one. Not just a life at camp. But we donât get to have that. Demigods, I mean. Itâs not safe, I could lose you. So I tried to back out before we were in too deep.â He took a second to catch his breath. So did you.
âI think weâre way past that,â you offered carefully. Luke nodded.
âYeah. I see that now.â He stared out into the water, gathering his thoughts again.
âI donât care if itâs not safe.â You wiped the tears from your cheek. âI want a life with you too,â That was the first time you said it out loud. He turned back to you. âPlus, if you have a sword on you? Iâll always feel safe.â He let out a breathy laugh. You reached out and grabbed his hand, and held it with both of yours. He scooted closer to you.
âOkay.â He declared. âWeâll figure something out.â He leaned over and used his free hand to pull you into his chest. âIâm sorry about all this,â he whispered.
âSoâŠare we on to train tomorrow?â He raised his eyebrows, smiling. You rolled your eyes.
âYes we are. But I think weâre out of dummies,â you said. Luke laughed.
âOh, I saw. That was terrifying.â Both of you laughed together, and it felt normal again. Actually, better than normal. With him back at your side, you could breathe again. And with the promise of a future, you never wanted to let go.