bea :)

i ❤️‍🔥 writing //20

[beapeas]

Beapeas Masterlist

my recs!

Marvel:

Mission Causualties - Bucky Barnes

Retreat - Bucky Barnes

Loathing - Bucky Barnes

Want To Take That Back? - Bucky Barnes

Please Talk To Me - Bucky Barnes

Cat's Out of The Bag - Bucky Barnes

Flying Cars pt 2- Bucky Barnes

Outer Banks:

Brother's Best Friend - JJ Maybank

Say You'll Stay - JJ Maybank

Hurricane - JJ Maybank

Happy Birthday - JJ Maybank

Stranger Things:

Don't Say a Word - Steve Harrington

Savior - Steve Harrington

New Year's Kiss - Steve Harrington

Playing House - Steve Harrington

Percy Jackson:

Tell Me What Happened - Luke Castellan

Faking It - Luke Castellan

Somewhere Only We Know - Luke Castellan

[beapeas]

Somewhere Only We Know

Luke Castellan x Hephaestus!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: After hiding your relationship with Luke for months, you decide to give up the act.

The glow of the fire in the middle of the room illuminated your work as you struck the sword with your hammer again. Luke sat on an unused anvil behind you, swinging his legs and trying not to look too impatient. But he was bored. And the workshop was sweltering hot. Being a daughter of Hephaestus, you were used to this. Luke, not so much.

“You said a few small adjustments,” he groaned. For months, you’d been sitting in on Luke’s training and watching him work. For just as long, you’ve been asking if you could fix up his sword a bit. He never handed it over to anyone for maintenance, and the second you got your hands on it, you could tell.

“Well, the wear and tear was worse than I expected.” You explained between strikes. The blade glowed red from it sitting over the fire. You shook off one of your gloves and pulled your goggles to your forehead so you could get a better look.

“What’s wrong with a few scratches?” Luke inquired.

“Drag. It’ll slow you down or mess up your precision. You know, aerodynamics?”

“Yes, I know aerodynamics.” He watched you examine his sword. You took it off the fire and ran your gloved hand along the center of the blade, careful not to burn yourself.

“Just needs polishing now.” You declared. In the distance, the conch horn sounded, signaling that it was time for dinner. “But I guess that will have to wait.” You hung up your apron and goggles, and walked up to Luke, who was relieved to be allowed near you again after you spent the last few hours surrounded by fire and molten bronze. He planted a quick kiss on your forehead as he stood up from the anvil.

“Thank you,” he said. You kissed him back in response. He opened the door for you, allowing you to finally step into the cool air of the summer evening. The breeze outside was a stark contrast to the stuffy, smokey air in your workshop. Luke followed you outside, and quickly caught your hand. You stopped, glaring at him.

“Luke,” you warned. No one at camp knew you two were dating yet. You’d been close friends for years already so when things started changing, you kept it to yourselves to see where it would go first. That was four months ago. It was easy to fly under the radar over the winter, but now that the summer campers were back, there were always witnesses around.

“I know, I know. But you got something on your face.” He had dropped your hand, but now he was swiping at your cheek with his thumb. Once you saw campers in the distance, you swatted his hand away.

“It’s just dirt. I’m probably covered in it anyways, no one cares.” You took a small step away from Luke, trying to create an appropriate amount of space between the two of you. He sighed, but didn’t protest. You started walking again, and he followed. You stopped. “You gotta take a different way, you told Annabeth you were training all afternoon, remember?” you reminded him. He raised his eyebrows, and you could tell he forgot. Then he nodded.

“Okay, just meet me at our spot after you eat?” He raised his eyebrows expectantly, like you’d ever say no. You agreed before shooing him away.

When you reach the pavilion, you take your usual seat at the Hephaestus table. Right at the end, next to your half-brother and best friend, Charles Beckendorf. You nodded along as he explained a project he’s working on. You wanted to pay attention, really. Charles was brilliant and you built stuff together all the time. But a few tables down, Luke was catching your eye. 

He was doing it on purpose. He kept flickering his eyes between the conversation at his table, to you. When he saw you looking at him, he smiled wide, and pointed at Chris Rodriquez next to him, rolling his eyes. Chris must’ve been telling his tall tales again. You let out a chuckle despite your best efforts.

“What’s so funny?” Charles asked. You realized you hadn’t heard a single thing he said in the last few minutes.

“Oh- I uh, saw a squirrel. Fall out of a tree.”

“Is that why you’re staring at the Hermes table?” He deadpanned. You shot your head over to him.

“That’s where the squirrel was,” you tried. There were no trees by that table. Charles nodded slowly, unconvinced. You needed to get him talking again. “Did you make any progress on our shields today?” You asked him. He probably knew exactly what you were doing, but if he did, he didn’t seem to care. He jumped right in to talking about his shield and this time, you paid attention.

Once dinner was over, you made some half-baked excuse about going on a walk before departing for the woods. Luke had already left. A typical Hermes kid, he was incredible at sneaking around. Muscle memory carried you through the woods. Luke showed you this spot for the first time in the fall. Now you are there almost every day. Just off the path, there was a line of trees, then a ledge that dropped off a few feet. Below that was a small grassy hill that faced the lake. Perfectly hidden from the rest of the woods.

Luke was sitting in the grass, arms behind him propping him up. He didn’t look up when he heard your footsteps, just sat up a little straighter.

“Took you long enough,” he teased. You plopped down on the ground next to him.

“Blame Charlie, he could literally talk about that shield forever.” You stared up at Luke, who just smiled and shook his head. The day was starting to catch up to you. After a full morning of training and an afternoon of metalworking, you needed the evening to do nothing. You adjusted your position to be laying down in the grass, using Luke’s thigh as a pillow. He half expected you to fall asleep right there.

“I’m training Percy tomorrow morning, you coming?” He asked. You thought for a moment, then shook your head.

“I’m helping Annabeth fix something with her armour tomorrow.”

“What are you doing after lunch?” He inquired next.

“Me and Charlie have a project to work on.” You declared. Luke sighed dramatically. You grabbed one of his hands and held it with both of yours, laughing at him a bit. “Hey we still have tomorrow night. Volleyball game, remember?” You stared up at him, memorizing his big brown eyes and the faded pink scar that ran down his cheek.

“I know, it’s just different when there’s people around.” He sighed. You smiled sympathetically. He was right. It wasn’t the same when you had to stand a foot away from him when all you wanted to do was grab his hand and pull him close. It seemed like a good idea at first to keep your relationship private. People are nosy at camp and you two wanted to see where this would go without prying eyes. But secrecy came at a cost. “What if we just give up the act?” He asked.

“You want to tell everyone?” You asked. He shook his head.

“No, that’s no fun. We just stop hiding. Let them figure it out themselves.” He had a smirk on his face. You thought for a moment. It did sound like good entertainment. Who were you to say no to that?

“Okay. Let’s do it.” You shook Luke’s hand, the one you were already holding. Then, you fell into a comfortable silence. You were together all day, there wasn’t much more to talk about. So instead, you watched the sunset over the lake and listened to the cicadas.

The next day, you were almost too busy to think about your’s and Luke’s plan. You spent all morning with Annabeth, fixing a big dent in her chest plate from the last chariot race. When lunch time came, you were relieved to get away from the forge for a little bit. It didn’t last long though, right after you ate lunch, you headed back with Charles and got to work. 

You spent an hour planning before you could even get to work. You were working on bronze arm cuffs that transform into a shield. Something you wouldn’t have to carry around, but would just be there for when you need it. It had been in the works for weeks, and you were very nearly done. You started hammering out the metal for the pieces, one for you and one for Charles. He sat across from you putting the pieces together. No one could deny that the two of you made a really good team.

By the time the dinner horn rang out, you were finally done. The cuffs needed more testing, but you and Charles were happy with the day's progress. You put yours on, excited to show Luke what you had spent all day working on. You stepped out of the workshop and shot a quick “I’ll meet you there,” to Charles, then headed to find Luke.

You caught up to him on his way to the pavilion. His face lit up when he saw you.

“Hey pretty,” he said. It sounded like a tease, but he was serious. You were very aware of how you looked at that moment. You were covered in soot and bronze dust, indentations around your eyes from your goggles, and any hairs that had escaped your french braids were glued to your skin with sweat. You chose not to argue with him.

“Wanna see what we made?” You asked him. He nodded, and you stuck your arm out to show the smooth bronze cuff that sat just above your elbow. He stared at it, trying to figure out exactly what he was looking at.

“That’s the shield you two have been working on since June?” He was trying to sound inquisitive, but you could tell he was unimpressed. That makes you smirk. Instead of giving him a real answer, you pressed on the inside of the cuff, and watched as an invisible force pushed Luke backwards. He stumbled for a moment, then caught his footing. He stared in amazement while you beamed. Then, he walked towards you again, and carefully put his hand out to touch your arm. He couldn’t get closer than a couple inches without being pushed away again. You pressed the inside of the cuff again, disarming the shield. “You made that?” Luke exclaimed.

“Well, Charlie put it together. I just made the parts.” You started walking towards the pavilion again, gesturing for Luke to follow. “It only covers one side of me, we’re still trying to figure out how to make a 360 shield, but baby steps I guess.” You reached the pavilion, and stopped for a moment.

“This is still incredible,” he said. You shrugged.

“Guess it’s in my blood, Castellan.” You bumped his shoulder with yours, then split ways to go to your table. You went straight to your spot to Charles to tell him that the shield worked.

Shortly after dinner, you met up with your friends at the volleyball court. A few nights ago, you guys destroyed Clarisse’s team who shockingly demanded a rematch. You, Luke, Percy, Annabeth, and Charles stood in the sand waiting for the last of Clarisse’s team to show up. It was a couple of her siblings, and they were waiting on two Aphrodite boys. You caught up with Percy on his day of training while Charles showed Annabeth his shield. Luke hovered behind you, just listening. He stood closer to you than he would’ve yesterday, but no one seemed to notice.

The game started the same way as the last one. You guys were winning, just barely. Clarisse was getting mad. She yelled at her teammates, yelled at you guys, yelled at the ball. It was incredibly entertaining. Luke kept turning away from the net to hide his laughter every time she got mad, not wanting to antagonize her any more. Except, that only made you laugh. 

Maybe it was because you weren’t paying attention to the game, or maybe it was because you were laughing at her, but all of a sudden, Clarisse was spiking the ball right into your face. You landed on your butt in the sand, cupping a hand over your cheek.

“What the hell Clarisse?” Luke shouted as he ran over to you. Charles ran up to the net, straight to Clarisse.

“No headshots. That’s literally our one rule.” He confronted her. She just shrugged.

“Whoops.” She stared Charles down, waiting for his next move. But he wasn’t really a fighter. He walked over to you where Luke was examining your face. Luke was on his knees next to you, running his hand over your cheek where you were hit. Percy and Annabeth stood back, just watching. 

“I’m fine Luke,” you assured him, tapping his leg. He took the signal to stand up, pulling you up with him. You leaned in towards Luke and whispered, “c’mon, let’s smoke her.” You squeezed his arm. He had that look in his eye, the one he always got before he got into some sort of trouble. Before you could pull away from him, he planted a kiss on your cheek.

“That ought to fix it,” he teased. You rolled your eyes, and shuffled back to your spot. Percy and Annabeth exchanged a look. One that said, “you saw that too, right?” Charles was still watching you, eyebrows knit together in concern. You thought he’d have more of a reaction to the kiss, but he didn’t seem to care about that. You shot him a thumbs up, which got him to nod and turn back around towards the next. Percy served the ball and put the game back in motion.

Your team was on their game after that. Luke and Charles were still mad, and they took it out on the ball. Unfortunately for Clarisse’s team, she seemed to have lost her perfect aim. You were one point away from winning the game. The Aphrodite boy fumbled with his serve, and sent the ball straight to you. You could’ve spiked it right into Clarisse’s face, and you kind of wanted to. But the more reasonable voice in your head won over, and you hit the ball right to her feet.

“YES!” Percy shouted. Clarisse’s team all groaned in unison. Percy was jumping up and down like a little dog while Annabeth cheered. Charles high fived you, but didn’t get to say anything before Luke ran up and grabbed you, spinning you around. You wrapped your arms around his neck and held on for dear life. When he finally set you down, he didn’t move away. He let go of your waist and grabbed onto your hand instead. You didn’t protest.

“Bonfire anyone?” Luke suggested. There was a unanimous yes, and the five of you made the short trip to the center of camp where a bunch of campers sat around the big fire. The sun had just begun to dip below the horizon, and the warmth of the fire was inviting. All of you sat down on the less populated side of the fire, feeling the adrenaline from your win drain away.

Luke talked to Annabeth about the game, recounting Clarisse’s face when you scored the winning point. Charles sat on one side of you, listening contentedly like he often did. Annabeth’s eyes kept shifting to you, tucked into Luke’s side, when she was used to you sitting at least a foot away from him. She shot Percy a look. Luke’s arm was casually slung over your shoulders, but he was focused on his conversation. You weren’t paying much attention to their conversations, instead tracing shapes onto Luke’s leg and enjoying the warmth of the fire. Then Annabeth spoke up and got your attention.

“I’m sorry, are we just supposed to pretend this isn’t happening?” Annabeth pointed between the two of you. Percy sat straight up.

“Thank you Annabeth, because this is getting weird.” Percy declared. You looked up at Luke, who was already shrugging and trying to repress a smirk.

“I’m not being weird,” Luke said. He looked down at you “Are you being weird?” He asked. You grinned, shaking your head. Annabeth’s eyebrows knit together with confusion and a hint of disgust.

“Are you guys, like, a thing now?” She asked. You met her eyes and nodded. Percy and Annabeth gaped at you. “What? Since when?” She demanded.

“Since four months ago,” you declared. That made her gasp more.

“Four months?” Percy parroted back. You and Luke nodded in tandem. It was funny to see their shock, you were so sure it was obvious. There was one person who had been pretty quiet, and you turned to face him. Charles sat there, neutral faced. 

“Beckendorf,” Percy started. “Did you know about this?” You went to shake your head in response, but before you could Charles cut you off.

“Yep.” He stated simply. Luke shot his head to you, confused. You put your hands up.

“I didn’t tell him,” you told Luke. You turned back to half-brother. “Chalrie? Care to elaborate on that?” Chalres shrugged at your question.

“We share a bunk bed, you think I don’t hear you sneak out every other night?” He tilted his head, smiling at you in the way someone does when they know all your secrets. “Plus, you two always disappear at the same time. And I see you two staring all the time. Remember dinner yesterday? It was pretty obvious,” he said. You stared at him, feeling something between amused and mortified. Percy’s laughter broke the silence. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You asked him. He shrugged.

“I knew you’d tell me when you were ready.” You smiled at him, thankful for his understanding. Then you turned back to Luke. He looked perfectly content, gazing down at you. You looked around and saw the crowd at the fire dwindling as the sunlight slowly faded away. You realized curfew was creeping up, and then remembered how gross you were. Not only covered in soot and sweat from being in the workshop all day, but now sand and smoke. You sighed.

“Well, I better hit the showers,” you declared. You started to stand up, and Luke followed suit. “I’ll walk you back,” he muttered. You nodded in agreement, and bid everyone goodnight. They all smiled politely, but you saw Percy and Annabeth’s look as Luke placed his hand on your back and guided you back towards the cabins. 

“Thank they’re upset?” You asked him when you were far enough away from the group. Luke shook his head.

“Percy certainly doesn’t care. If anything, Annabeth’s upset that she didn’t figure it out before Beckendorf.” He said. You knew he was right. 

“Gods, I can’t believe Charlie knew this whole time,” you hid your hands in your face. Luke snickered.

“Well, you were staring at me during dinner yesterday,” he laughed. You smacked his arm. You reached the Hephaestus cabin, and Luke dropped his hand from your back. In the dim light coming from your cabin window, he cupped your cheeks in his hands, and kissed you for real, out in the open. After he broke away, he stroked your cheek where the volleyball had hit you.

“Turning purple already,” he mumbled. “Should’ve used your shield." He tapped the cuff on your arm. You smiled.

“I don’t usually use battle equipment for volleyball games,” you joked. It was clear that Luke was ready to get talking again, but time for a shower was running out, and you could feel your braids matting to your head. “Okay, I really need to go now. See you tomorrow?” Luke sighed and let his hands fall to his side.

“Yeah, okay. See you tomorrow.” He kissed you again, quickly this time, and ran away like a kid that did something bad. You looked back at him and sure enough, he was looking back too, snickering. You had to force yourself to look away and go inside to get clean clothes. You had a feeling Luke would be acting like this a lot more now that you didn’t have to hide anymore. You only wished you’d stop hiding a long time ago.

[beapeas]

Faking It

Luke Castellan x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Summary: Faking an injury to beat Luke in a fight seemed like a great idea. Until you're actually injured and he doesn't believe you.

The swords clinked together so hard you were just waiting to see sparks between the two blades. You were struggling to keep up with Luke, even more than usual. Maybe you were a little sore, a little sleep deprived, or he had somehow gotten even better at swordfighting. Either way, you needed to think up a way to catch him off guard. 

You shuffled back, being pushed by the tip of Luke’s sword. He hadn’t even broken a sweat. Training with your best friend was fun, but sometimes it seemed so hopeless. Was he even trying? He slashed his sword at you again, but you side stepped him. He smirked.

“You’re getting better,” he said, almost laughing. You shook your head.

“Doesn’t feel like it,” you huffed, blocking another blow. And then another. And another. He has to have some weakness, you thought. It wasn’t his strength or his speed. It wasn’t his strategy. It wasn’t him at all, but maybe, it was you. 

As your best friend of five years, he really cared about you. So much so that sometimes you felt like ‘friends’ wasn’t the right word for what you two had. Maybe using your relationship as leverage in sparring was unfair, but you were running out of ideas even faster than you were running out of stamina. Thus hatched your plan.

You swung at Luke again. Blocked. You tried to advance forward. Cut off. Then, he went for you. You didn’t block him, instead allowing his blade to come into contact with the armour on your shoulder. It stung, just a bit. It would leave a little bruise at worst. But you folded over like he had kicked you right in the gut. He stopped in his tracks.

You clutched your hit shoulder with your free hand and winced. Luke watched, waiting.

“Hey, are you okay?” His eyebrows knit together and his usual crooked smile was nowhere to be found. You stayed in place, lying in wait. He took the bait, letting his sword hang at his side while he hurried over to you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” 

You cut him off with a swing of your sword. He raised his again, but it was too late. He couldn’t regain his footing and in a matter of seconds, he was on the ground. You stood over him struggling to hold back a big stupid smile. He gaped at you in horror.

“Are you- was that- what?” He stammered in complete shock. At that, you busted out laughing.

“Were you worried about me or something?” You teased.

“You acted like you were dying!” He shouted, a hint of amusement peaking through the frustration. You extended your hands to him. He took them and pulled himself up, leaving you two standing very close to each other. 

“Just keeping you on your toes. Or- on your back I guess.” You beamed, he just shook his head. Then he smirked a little. That made you smile more. Then, the conch horn sounded, signaling that it was time for lunch. Both of you turned towards the door in unison, bumping shoulders the whole way to your tables.

***

Later that night, you sat around the campfire with Luke, Percy, and Annabeth. The Apollo kids strummed their instruments and sang their songs, and you listened as your little group expressed their excitement for tomorrow’s game of capture the flag.

“This time tomorrow, I will be the first six time victor,” Luke declared. You locked eyes with Percy, who was on your team this year. Unlike Luke and Annabeth.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” You told Luke. He just stared at you, eyebrows raised.

“Please, you don’t stand a chance.” Annabeth declared. You turned to her.

“Really? Cause I destroyed Luke in training today.” You eyed Luke, who just shook his head. Annabeth and Percy’s jaws both dropped. No one beat Luke. They definitely didn’t destroy him.

“You tricked me.” He said. You shrugged.

“You don’t think anyone will be trying to trick you tomorrow?” You asked him. Truthfully, you had no plans to trick him. None of your plan involved him at all. But it was fun to watch him get riled up. Percy sent you an approving smile. Annabeth moved on to talking about the book she was reading, and you were interested to hear all about it.

As the sun finally dipped below the horizon, the air grew too chilly for your short sleeve shirt. You leaned towards the fire, trying to steal its warmth. But you were too far away. You friends were still chatting, but you were too tired to contribute at this point. You were content to listen. 

The breeze crept up your sleeves, spawning goosebumps across your arms and legs. As Luke told a story next to you, his arm brushed yours. He was warm. So you scooted closer to him. And a little closer. A little closer again, until there was nowhere else to go. He paused his story to look down at you, now tucked into his side.

“Whatcha doing?” He inquired quietly. Percy and Annabeth exchanged a look, one that you didn’t see.

“I’m cold,” you muttered like he should have already known. Luke just smiled,

“You don’t deserve my kindness,” He said. You smiled, but didn’t move away.

“I made you a s'more earlier,” you whispered. He considered your argument, like there was ever a possibility of him pushing you away. He threw an arm around you and pulled you in even closer. You hummed contently.

***

The next morning, capture the flag was set to start an hour after breakfast. After eating, you gathered with the rest of the red team in the training arena to set up and review the plan one last time. Everyone else on the red team was going over their roles. Distractions, guards, disguises, and taking out players from the blue team. 

You were fast and good at fading into the background, so you were put on offense. Your job was simple. Infiltrate the other team’s side, get the flag, and pass it off to Clarisse. She was a better fighter, so it would be safer in her hands. After last year, everyone expected Percy to be used as a distraction. So he would stay with you as a red herring and help fight off anyone who got in your way.

It was a perfect plan. But going up against the Hermes and Athena cabins was frightening. They always had some weird tricks up their sleeves. You put on your armor and sheathed your sword, hoping you wouldn’t need it much. In addition to that, you had your trusty dagger strapped to your thigh. You really didn’t want to be in close enough combat for it to be useful, but maybe it would make you look more intimidating.

Soon, time for talking was over. A couple girls asked you to braid their hair just like yours, and you speedily obliged. Everyone sharpened their weapons, strapped on their armor, and got lined up to go. Your team walked over to your territory together, lined up and ready for the start horn. You clapped Percy on the back, excited to have him on your side for once. He had his sword drawn already, fully anticipating fighting his way into the blue team’s side.

“Ready?” He asked you.

“You know it.” You bumped into each other, armor clinking. Over the hill, Chiron appeared with the conch horn in hand. You looked up at him, then back to the land in front of you. The second he blew the horn, you took off running.

You hoped Percy was keeping up with you because you were not going to turn back to find out. As you neared the blue side’s border, the amount of guards grew and grew. In the distance, you could see the flag. It was right there for the taking, if you could get through the twenty campers ready to take you out. 

Luckily, Luke was nowhere in sight. You assumed he’d be going after your flag, and it looked like you were right. You were finally able to hear Percy’s footsteps behind you. You briefly turned to him and motioned for him to split from you. Just as Percy stepped to the side and zagged the other way, still flying towards the flag.

You instantly regretted sending him away, as Christ Rodriguez came into your view, heading straight for you. You had mixed feelings about Chris. He was a friend of Luke’s, and by extension a friend of yours. But there was something off about him. He enjoyed fighting a little too much and there was always this glint in his eye that just left you unsettled. 

You swore under your breath as you unsheathed your sword and put it up before he could reach you. Chris wasted no time with his own sword, swinging at you the second he was in range. You were able to block it and hoped you could keep running, but he was not budging. You took a swing at him, but he didn’t like that. He held his sword with both hands and marched toward you with an alarming precision.

He swung at you with a force you hadn’t felt before, the impact reverberating off your sword as you blocked his blow. Without time to recover from the buzzing in your wrists, he kicked the back of your knees, sending you falling backward. Before you could hit the ground, he shoulder checked you, sending you right into the tree to your side. You hit your arm hard, the tree bark tearing up your sleeve. The force sent you to the ground, the back of your head hitting a root that stuck up from the dirt.

You scrambled to find your sword with your uninjured arm, feeling around on the ground for the bronze handle. But it didn’t matter anymore, Chris was gone. From the corners of your blurred vision, you saw him sprint away towards red territory. You blinked the darkness away, finally regaining nearly full vision despite the throbbing in the back of your head. Then you regained feeling in your arm, and immediately wished you hadn’t. The scrapes only burned a little, but as you scanned further up your arm, it was obvious where the source of the pain was coming from.

Your shoulder was totally messed up. Dislocated probably, though it was hard to see through your armour. The pain was searing in a way that told you a muscle had torn. You weren’t even going to try to move but then- Percy. By some miracle, he was running toward you and he had the flag. He was being followed, which got you to stumble to your feet. Your arm may have been useless, but your legs still worked.

“Percy! I got it!” You shouted, putting your good hand out to get the flag from him. He tossed it right to you, knowing you were way faster than him. As soon as the flag was safe within your grasp, you were off. You were still dizzy, and the ground seemed to shift beneath you, but the muscle memory of running through these woods carried you through. You left Percy in the dust, and as soon as you saw Clarisse, you knew the plan was back on track.

She was running toward you, leaving a bunch of blue kids knocked over in her wake. Your vision closed in on her, you were so close. You just needed to get her the flag and your job was done. You extended your arm, ready to pass it off just as your paths crossed, and success. Her hand closed around the flag, and you let go. She didn’t stop, and you didn’t expect her to. As she beelined towards your territory, you finally took a breath. Your head hurt, your arm felt like it was falling off, but it was over. You turned on your heels, ready to walk yourself straight to the infirmary but you were met with a voice you knew well.

“Not so fast.” Luke was standing right in front of you, sword drawn. Of course. Getting to The Big House required walking right through the blue team’s territory, and they weren’t going to let that happen. But it was Luke. You could explain your situation, and he’d let you through. Then you felt a tap on your chest plate. His sword, nudging you back. Oh. Maybe it will be harder than you thought.

“I just need to-”

“No. You think I’m just letting you through?” He tapped his sword against your chest again, signaling you to grab your weapon. The second you tried to use your arm, the fire deep in your shoulder screamed at you to stop. You groaned, reaching for your sword with your non-dominant hand. But it wasn’t there. It was somewhere over by the tree that nearly took your arm off. Instead, you fumbled for your dagger, the one you hoped not to need.

If you couldn’t beat Luke in a sword fight with your sword and your dominant hand, you definitely didn’t stand a chance with your dagger and wrong hand. You just hoped it would be fast. You drew your dagger, and used it to push his sword off of you. He laughed.

“That’s all you got?” He mocked. Normally you would’ve enjoyed bantering with him, but you were experiencing a brand new level of pain and thought if you spoke you’d cry. So you stayed silent. You clumsily knocked his sword with your little blade. He didn’t budge. You shuffled around him, trying to push his sword even an inch with your dagger. You even managed to put both hands on the handle, though trying to grip it made you want to throw up. He got tired of waiting for you to make a real move and bashed his blade into yours.

The way your arm moved every so slightly made you flinch as if you were punched in the face. You grimaced, trying to stay upright.

“Oh come on,” Luke said. “I’m not falling for that again.” That’s when you realized what he was seeing. He barely touched you, and you nearly fell over. He couldn’t see that your shoulder was way out of its socket. All he saw was the same prank you pulled on him yesterday. You didn’t try to correct him. He had no reason to believe you. So you held your dagger back up and tried again.

You moved in towards his sword, but he was faster, hitting your dagger first. You yelped that time, stumbling backward. You didn’t want to fall again, so you took a knee before you could lose your balance. You kept your head down, trying to stop the ground from spinning.

“You’re putting on quite the act today,” Luke said, moving in closer. You panicked internally, desperately wanting him to leave you alone. He poked you with his sword, trying to get you to put your weapon back up. He was still smiling, still expecting you to smile back.

“Stop,” you breathed, barely audible. A tear slipped down your cheek, but he couldn’t see.

“Come on, get up.” He tried to sound encouraging. To you, it felt anything but. Even holding your dagger hurt like hell now, so you let it fall to the ground. Luke took a tentative step forward. He was sure you were just trying to trick him again, but this was getting weird. 

You saw the glint of his sword nearing you and panicked. You completely collapsed to the ground, covering your face with your good arm.

“Please stop,” you cried. Luke halted. “Stop, I can’t-” you let out a sob. Luke felt his blood run cold. He thought you were messing with him. Using some clever strategy to beat him in a fight. But now you were crying and cowering away from him. He dropped his sword, and stepped toward you again.

“Hey,” he whispered, hands reaching for you but too afraid to actually touch you. “I’m not gonna hurt you.” He tried to calm you down, but you couldn’t hear him. He took his helmet off, frantically scanned you for injuries. He saw your torn sleeve, and the way you cradled one arm in the other. He dropped to his knees next to you, finally getting close enough to help. He gently lifted your helmet and your other armor, whispering apologies the whole time. At some point the conch horn had gone off again, signalling the end of the game, but you were too out of it to care.

He helped you sit up and started carefully tracing his fingers up your arm, trying to figure out what the problem was. You would have told him, but the adrenaline wore off and your head was pounding again. All you could do was stare forward and try to keep your eyes open. When his hand reached the top of your arm, he didn’t even try to feel it. He could see your shoulder was out of its socket. He pulled the collar of your shirt to the side, revealing a purple bloom of bruises that stretched all the way to your collarbone.

“How did this even happen?” He questioned. It was common for people to come out of capture the flag bruised and scraped up, but this was a different level.

“Chris,” was all you could say. Luke’s jaw tightened, but his grip on you remained light as a feather.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Luke muttered, mostly to himself. He continued his examination, checking the bump on the back of your head and the bruises across your legs that you hadn’t even noticed. After a few minutes, Percy ran up, helmet and sword in hand.

“Hey guys! We- oh my gods,” He trailed off. You didn’t think you looked that bad, but apparently you did. Percy looked at Luke, expecting an explanation, but he didn’t have one.

“Percy, grab our stuff. I’m gonna get her to the infirmary.” Percy snapped into action at the instructions while Luke scooped you up to head to The Big House.

***

Waking up in the infirmary, you were greeted by a warm light and the smell of honey and cream. Nectar, probably. You moved your head just a bit to check out your arm, and the throbbing in your temples had subsided. Your arm was in a sling, strapped to your chest and completely unable to move. That was probably for the best. 

All your moving around caught Percy’s attention, who shared a chair with Annabeth on your left side. He rose to his feet and clamoured over to your side, eyes searching your face for any signs of pain.

“How do you feel?” He nervously inquired. You took stock of your body. Head was mostly better. Arm was bad, but still much improved.

“I feel very lucky to still have two arms,” you joked. Percy smiled.

“There she is,” he said. Annabeth set her book down on the end of your bed and joined Percy at your side. She smiled at you too, though she looked more nervous than anything.

“They got everything back in place,” she explained. “The nectar took care of your concussion and helped repair the muscles in your arm, but it was pretty bad. You won’t have much use of it for a while.” She studied your eyes for a reaction. You nodded slowly, trying to process everything. Honestly, you didn’t care much that you couldn’t use your arm. You were more relieved than anything.

You turned your head to the other side of your bed where you found Luke, sitting just a foot away from you. He had a grim expression, eyes boring into your head. When you met his gaze, he shifted to stare at the floor. Unlike Percy and Annabeth, Luke was still in his dirty capture the flag clothes. You waited for him to look at you again or say something, but he didn’t.

Percy took the silence as his cue to jump back in and try to cheer you up. He reached into his back pocket and held something behind his back.

“Hey, I brought you something.” Before you could ask what it was, he waved a little blue flag in the air right over your head. You sat straight up.

“We won?” You exclaimed. Percy nodded his head and started running around the little room, waving the flag. Annabeth crossed her arms in protest, but she wore a smile. You turned to Luke excitedly, knowing he’d be proud of you, even if it meant he lost.

“Luke did you see?” You thought he’d be laughing along, but he still refused to look at you. “Luke?” You tried again. He slowly lifted his head and looked you in the eye. He looked pitiful.

“Mhm,” he mumbled. The tension was palpable. So much so that Percy was returning to the other side of the room, and Annabeth was halfway to the door.

“Um, I think we’re gonna go get ready for dinner.” Annabeth announced. Percy took the cue and followed her across the room, but not before placing the flag in your lap and flashing another smile.

“Our victory dinner!” He added. He did a little dance as Annabeth ushered him out the door. You picked up the flag with your good hand and admired it. 

“I wanna go to that.” You told Luke. He shook his head.

“You should stay here,” he decided. You frowned.

“But I’ve never gotten a victory dinner before. C’mon, I need help getting ready,” you shifted in the bed and tried to kick the blankets off. Luke didn’t move. You swung your legs over the side of the bed so you were fully facing him. “Are you mad at me or something?” You asked. His head snapped up, he looked surprised.

“No, I’m mad at myself.” He said. Then it clicked. He was blaming himself for this whole mess. You didn’t, not a bit.

“Oh Luke, you couldn’t have known.”

“Oh, but I could’ve. If I took one good look at you I would’ve known you were hurt, but instead I made it worse.”

“You didn’t hurt me. That was Chris.” You thought that would make him feel better, but his fists balled up at the mention of his friend’s name.

“You were in a ball on the ground, protecting yourself from me.” He couldn’t get that image out of his head. Couldn’t shake the feeling of pure horror when he realized you weren’t faking. You reached your arm out towards him, and he gave in. He walked into your embrace, carefully wrapping his arms around you while you leaned your head on his chest.

“I wouldn’t have believed me either.” You assured him. “And I’m okay now anyway.”

“You’re down an arm,” he countered.

“That just means you have to follow me around and help me with everything for a while.” You declared. Luke finally laughed, just a little.

“Sounds like a normal day to me,” he joked. You pulled back from him a bit to look up at his face and see his smile. You were glad it was back.

“Does that mean you’ll come help me get ready now?” You looked down at your clothes, the same ones you’d been wearing all day. Your pants were ripped, your bloody shirt was gone, and you were in your tank top that was covered in sweat and dirt. There was also grass in your braids that you had yet to discover.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s get going though, you need a lot of work.” He said. You laughed, slowly standing to your feet. He kept an arm around your waist, just in case you were still Dizzy. You weren’t, but you didn’t say anything. 

As you slowly walked back to your cabin, you smiled, imagining Luke try to brush through your hair or pick out your outfits for the next few weeks. You could get out of your chores and hang out with your friends while they did theirs instead. Maybe a dislocated shoulder wasn’t so bad.

[beapeas]

Tell Me What Happened

a/n: Switching it up I guess. Doing anything but homework atm and that would include rereading pjo for the first time in forever. I just started typing and this happened, so enjoy!

word count: 4k

summary: after years of being inseperable, luke suddenly pulls back. way back. the worst part is, you have no clue why.

It was the first day of the summer term at Camp Half Blood. You were one of the year-round kids, but you still loved the start of the summer. Your cabin was full again, just the way you liked it. You loved being around your half-siblings. You loved being their counselor. 

After dinner on that first night, all the campers scattered around the central lawn. Some played basketball or volleyball, some remained at dinner tables with a deck of cards, others roamed around catching up with friends. You were in your favorite spot, right next to Luke at the campfire. He kept a hand on your knee as the two of you listened to Percy detail his time away from camp. The fire reflected off of his eyes and skin, giving him a warm glow that so perfectly encapsulated how you felt about him.

He was your best friend. He had been since you arrived at camp four years ago. You were inseparable by year two, and it’s been that way ever since. Over the winter, something had shifted. There were less campers than you had ever seen. Your counselor duties were fairly minimal in those months, granting you plenty of time to do whatever you want. You and Luke spent every second together. Joint training, meals, chores, and lots of time at the beach, just sitting in the sand and talking. Touches lingered and glances became full on staring. You’d always known that you loved him. Now you knew that he loved you too, even if neither of you said it.

You half-listened to Percy’s story, struggling to keep your eyes open after the long day. Something about an aquarium trip gone awry that Annabeth had a lot of opinions on. Normally a conversation that you’d be very interested in, but sleep was calling your name. You silently blamed Hypnos as you swayed.

“Hey,” Luke softly whispered. You barely registered the way he tapped your leg to wake you up. You didn’t even know you fell asleep. As you opened your eyes, you realized that you had drifted off on Luke’s shoulder. You slowly lifted your head and used your heavy eyes to scan your surroundings. The moon had long replaced the sun in the sky and all the other campers had retired to their cabins. The fire was dimming and only had a few minutes of life left. “Tired?” Luke joked, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Big day,” you muttered, returning his look. Luke stood up and held his hands out, allowing you to pull yourself to your feet.

“Still on for our lesson tomorrow?” You nodded.

“We’ll meet you there at ten,” you assured him. The two of you bid your goodbyes and returned to your respective cabins.

***

The next morning, you were in the training arena with Luke. The other kids from both of your cabins sat around the mat, quietly chatting amongst themselves while you and Luke got set up.

“Okay everyone, we’re gonna get started. We’ll start with simple disarming maneuvers. We’ll show you, then you’ll try. Ready?” He held his hands out, awaiting a response from all of your campers. They gave  a few nods. You took his signal and joined him in the middle of the mat.

The two of you started slow. Luke explained every step out loud as you walked through different tricks. You took a backseat, letting him do most of the teaching. Though you also had years of training, he was the real expert. Once you had walked through everything in slow motion, it was time to go full speed.

You two sparred almost every day. It’s become more of a game than a training exercise at this point, but you would reel it in while your cabins were present. You stood across from him, knees bent, sword out, and leaving forward ever so slightly. 

He made the first move. You stepped forward, trying to nudge him back with the tip of your sword, but he was way ahead of you. He used his blade to push back against yours, hard. You stumbled backwards and barely caught yourself when an idea popped into your head. There was no way you’d be beating him with force. Luckily, you knew his greatest weakness. You.

Instead of what you usually did, barely holding your ground while he went easy on you, you tried a new tactic. You leaned towards him and whispered, 

“Looking good, Castellan.” It wasn’t much, but accompanied by your big smile and your shiny eyes, he was so distracted. You took that opportunity to sweep your leg under his feet, which sent him tumbling backward. In one swift move, you dropped to your knees and used your sword to knock his weapon out of his hand. 

You landed right over him, straddling his waist. He just stared up at you, mouth slightly ajar in shock, but a glint of amusement in his eye. You stared back with a proud smile, completely forgetting there were other people in the room. That is, until some of the campers started cheering. You were snapped out of your little moment with Luke from the noise, and rolled off of him. 

You got to your feet and laughed as you turned to the kids and gave an exaggerated bow, leaving your partner on the floor. It wasn’t often that anyone got to see Luke lose a sword fight. You certainly weren’t expecting it. Before you could get lost in your victory lap, you turned back to Luke and extended your arms to him. He took your hands and pulled himself up. He just kept staring at you in amazement, ears bright pink.

“You alright?” You whispered, leaning towards his ear. He nodded.

“You’ve never beaten me before,” he said, chuckling. He was so close to you, you could have just stared forever. But unfortunately there were twenty preteens waiting on instructions from you.

“Okay guys, your turn!” You shouted to the kids. “Usual drill. Start slow, and we’ll be around to check your form.” As the kids dispersed to find their partners, you flopped onto the ground next to your water bottle. Luke grabbed both of your swords and joined you on the floor, still smiling ear to ear. 

“What?” You asked, enjoying his enjoyment.

“You fight dirty.” He said it like it was a good thing. You shrugged and bumped his shoulder with yours. 

“No rules in the wild.” You didn’t wait for another laugh or snarky response. You stood up and started making your rounds, satisfied with your work. As Luke started checking in on some of the kids while they sparred, one of his pulled him by the sleeve.

“Hey Luke,” the younger camper called. “So the key to beating the best swordsman in 300 years is making googly eyes?” He teased. Luke scanned the room for you, but you were on the opposite side of the mat, assisting one of your own. “You’re staring again,” the camper said. Luke shot his eyes back to the camper, and tried to respond when another one jumped in.

“Come on man, it’s so obvious that you’re obsessed with her.” He started. Luke crossed his arms in protest. “You two are the oldest ones here, why don’t you just run away and get married or something,” he suggested, like it was so obvious. 

Luke had nothing to say. Instead, he looked down to the campers hands and smacked both of their swords to the ground. They stared at him with slack jaws, but he was already turning around as the clanging sound rang out. Luke laughed.

“Better work on your grips!” He shouted.

***

Luke replayed what those campers said long after they left the arena. He always knew he loved you. He thought you loved him too. It wasn’t the first time he thought about leaving camp and having a real life with you. In fact, he constantly forced himself not to think about it. Two demigods living under the same roof outside Half-Blood Hill? It was dangerous at best. Deadly at worst. He considered many possibilities. He was an incredible fighter. You were practically a genius. Maybe it could work. Or maybe you would be targeted by all of the monsters in the world.

As he sat at the Hermes dinner table with his half siblings and unclaimed campers, he tried to focus on the conversations around him. But there you were, two tables away, smiling at him. He tried to smile back, but he just couldn’t force it. You eyed him for a moment, silently asking him what was wrong, but he just looked back down at his plate. That’s when he decided. It was better- safer, for both of you, if he just backed off.

You, of course, had no clue what Luke was thinking. When he tore away from your gaze at dinner, you didn't think much of it. Maybe he was tired, distracted, or just in a weird mood. You gave him room to breathe, and figured you’d talk to him in the morning.

You did talk to him in the morning, though it didn’t go as expected. After breakfast, you caught him on his way back to his cabin.

“Hey Luke!” You shouted, getting him to turn around. Excitement flickered in his eyes, but he quickly blinked it away. You jogged to catch up with him, but he didn’t stop walking. “Are we sparring today?” You inquired. You didn’t really need to ask, it was routine at this point. Which is why you didn’t believe him when he shook his head and muttered,

“Not today.” He could hardly look at you. You still thought he was messing around.

“What’s the matter, scared you’ll lose again?” You joked. Now Luked stopped, and turned to face you. He took a deep breath and mustered up his best smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“No, I just- could use a day off.” He assured you. You nodded slowly, skeptical.

“You okay?” You asked. 

“I’m okay. I’ll see you later, alright?” You believed him. It was Luke, of course you believed him.

“Okay,” you said, but he was already walking away.

You didn’t see him later. Not like you usually would, at least. You stuck to your usual training rotation and took your cabin to archery. It was your specialty, so Luke usually brought his campers to learn from you too. They didn’t show today. 

At lunch, Luke was at his table like normal. That made you feel a little bit better, at least he wasn’t deadly ill or something. But he is avoiding you. He sat in a different spot than usual, so his back was to you. A pit settled in your stomach. Something was definitely wrong. You didn’t see the way he practically flinched when he caught you staring. Ignoring you went against every instinct he had, but he was doing it for you.

The next day was the same story. You saw him at meals, but he didn’t see you. You did what counselors do and took your kids from chores to training and left them to do whatever for the rest of the day. You joined some of them for crafts in the afternoon, but you felt like you were somewhere else. You and five of your half siblings sat on the floor in the middle of your cabin, stringing beads onto thin leather strips. 

“Are you making one for Luke?” One of your half-siblings asked. She was only ten, but she was very intuitive. You hadn’t spoken much in the last hour, and she saw right through it.

“Oh, I don’t know.” You replied, absently placing another bead on the string. Luke probably had twenty bracelets from you at this point. He always had one or two on, wearing them until the string wore out completely and broke. One year, he had some Hephaestus kids forge you a bangle bracelet out of bronze in return. You never took it off.

“You haven’t talked to him all day,” another sibling mentioned. 

“I don’t always have to be glued to him,” you said, frustration spilling out more than you intended. But your sibling just shrugged.

“Yes you do. It’s like the first rule of Camp Half Blood.” The other kids laughed. You didn’t. The younger one frowned.

“Did something happen?” She asked. You bit your lip.

“I wish I knew.” You stood up, dropping your string of beads. They spilled onto the floor, but you couldn’t be bothered to deal with it. Instead, you walked to the door. “I’m going to get some air,” you announced before going outside.

***

On day three of no Luke, you felt like you were losing it. You stayed at the arena long after you sent your campers onto the next thing. A line of dismembered dummies laid on the floor as you pointed your sword at the last one standing. Sweat rolled down your face as you calculated your next move. Just as you took your aim, the door opened.

Luke popped in, holding his sword over his shoulder. You locked eyes right away. He didn’t light up like usual. He looked at you, but it was like he didn’t see you. You thought he might say something. Maybe crack a joke about the massacre of dummies you left on the ground. Maybe tell you what was going on. But he just took a breath and turned around.

“Wait, Luke!” You shouted after him. But he was already gone. This was a new level of avoiding you. You wanted to scream or cry, but instead you swung your sword with all of your strength, and the last dummy's head came clean off.

You spent your day stewing in that interaction. And the one before, and the one before, and the one before. You showered for longer than usual. You ate dinner in silence. You were currently getting destroyed in 1v1 basketball by Percy, because your mind was just somewhere else. All you could think about is what the hell happened with Luke. A basketball to the face pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Shoot, sorry!” Percy muttered, jogging over to you. You knew it wasn’t his fault, you weren’t exactly on your game tonight. His hands hovered around your head, trying to assess the damage.

“I’m okay, Percy. Don’t worry about it.” The ball didn’t hit you hard enough to leave a mark, and you were barely phased. Percy dropped his hands, still looking you over. He wasn’t stupid, he knew something was going on with you and Luke.

“Do you want to just call it?” He gently inquired. You forced a smile and nodded. “Campfire’s calling my name anyways, I’m getting a little cold.” He mentioned. You agreed with him, and the two of you walked towards the campfire. 

The warmth of the fire was inviting, even from where you stood ten yards away. It was pretty crowded like usual. You scanned the circle for your usual spot and saw Annabeth. You were about to beeline for her when you saw who she was sitting by, and you stopped in your tracks. It was Luke. And not the brooding, silent Luke you had seen this week. It was normal Luke. He was laughing at something she had said, eyes filled with spirit in a way you hadn’t seen in days. Percy turned to you when he realized you stopped.

“Uh, actually, I think I’m just going to go to bed. Day’s catching up to me,” you quickly spit out. Percy frowned, following your eyeline to Luke and Annabeth. 

“Okay,” He was unconvinced by your excuse, but nodded slowly. “Goodnight.” He said, then continued on very slowly, in case you needed him for something. You didn’t stop him.

Now your mind was reeling. You knew Luke had a problem. But now it was abundantly clear that his problem was you. You walked away before he could see you. You marched past your cabin, continuing on to the woods. Once you were hidden by the trees, you finally let a tear fall. Then another. And another. By the time you reached the beach, you were a mess.

***

Clarisse hiked through the woods that evening, scouting some routes and hiding spots for the next game of capture the flag. She walked along the edge of the woods and the beach, scanning the treeline for a place to set up the trap she made that day. The outskirts of camp were abandoned, most campers hanging out by the bonfire or playing games of volleyball until curfew.

She knelt down next to one particularly sturdy tree trunk, and pulled out a knife to score an ‘X’ into the bark, so she could find it again later. That’s when she heard a noise coming from the beach. At first she thought it was the wind, and didn’t bother to look up. And then she heard it again. It was a little sniffle, followed by a choked sob. At that, her head snapped up. She eyed the beach curiously where she discovered you sitting just a foot away from the water.

She knew what- well, who you were crying over. Though she didn’t know what happened between you and Luke this week, every single person at camp knew that something happened. Clarisse wasn’t one to get involved in stuff like this. But you just looked so sad and crumpled.

You wrapped your arms around your legs, pulling them impossibly close to your chest. Your head was tucked between your knees as if you could make yourself so small that you’d disappear. It was almost working, but the way your whole body shook with each sob gave you away. Even Clarisse knew you didn’t deserve this. You were always nice to her, whether she deserved it or not. You treated everyone like that. Especially Luke, which is why she knew this had to be his fault.

She wouldn’t approach you. She didn’t know how to deal with your blubbering, plus if you came all the way out here, you clearly wanted to be alone. Clarisse settled on intervening in a way that was more up her alley. She marched back through the woods and straight to the campfire where she found just who she was looking for.

“Castellan!” Clarisse shouted as she approached Luke. He was sitting with Annabeth and Percy, quietly talking under the camp song that one of Apollo's kids strummed on his lyre. The whole camp went silent, both alarmed and interested by the scene unfolding. Luke jumped to his feet and greeted her with his usual smile.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” He inquired calmly, despite her shouting. She crossed her arms, annoyed by how normal he was acting.

“You left a mess on the beach,” she spat. Luke’s eyebrows knit together, trying to figure out what she meant.

“I didn’t go to the beach today,” he said. Apparently this wasn’t the epic showdown the other campers were hoping for, because most of them had gone back to what they were doing. Percy and Annabeth still listened, just as confused as Luke.

“Well there’s an issue there, and it has your name written all over it.” Clarisse explained. “So go deal with it.” With that, she took her leave and joined a group of kids from her cabin at the basketball court.

The sun was starting to set and Luke knew he only had so long before he needed to corral his campers into their cabin for the night. But he was curious and a bit concerned as to what Clarisse was referring to at the beach. He mentally traced his steps from the day, he was sure he hadn’t been there. Maybe someone from his cabin caused trouble up there? It sure sounded like something they would do, but something about the way Clarisse said it threw him off. Had his name written all over it? He needed to go see for himself.

Luke informed his friends that he was going to see what was at the beach, assuring them he didn’t need any help. And then, he set off on his walk. For the ten minute journey, his mind wandered. His thoughts flickered to you, and what you were doing. Percy had said you turned in for the night early. You’re better off, he told himself. You’d get over it. It’s only up from here. The truth was, it was killing him not being around you all week. Every time he caught your gaze from across camp, he wanted to throw himself into the river Styx. It would have been easier than denying you. 

He tried to think about something else. He focused on the crunch of the fallen branches under his feet as he trudged through the woods. Then when the water came into view, he kept his attention on the way the sun glittered on the little waves that fizzled out long before they reached the shore. He had nearly forgotten his troubles once his feet hit the sand. There wasn’t much to see. He thought maybe Clarisse was just messing with him, or trying to get rid of him while she did something behind his back. That’s when he saw it.

Just a spec from where he stood. But the bright orange shirt gave you away, it was undoubtedly a camper. Luke decided it must have been a kid from his cabin that he needed to retrieve, so he kept going. It only took a few steps for him to get a better view. Then it hit him. It was you.

He hesitated. He stared at you, trying to make himself turn around and go back to the campfire. He stared instead, frozen in place. Then he saw the way your back shook. How you kept wiping your eyes and gasping for air and- oh. You were crying. Luke’s heart fell into his stomach. You hardly ever cried. The last time he saw a single tear from you was years ago. He demanded to know who hurt you that day, and took care of it himself. He didn’t need to ask this time.

There was no way he could turn around and leave you now. He didn’t even notice that his feet started moving again until he was standing right in front of you. You heard him come up behind you. You didn’t turn around or acknowledge him. Your eyes were trained on your bronze bangle, the one Luke gave you a couple years ago. It was all scuffed up and not shiny anymore, but you could still barely see the little ‘L’ etched into the middle.

Luke tentatively sat down next to you. Not as close as he wanted to be, but probably way closer than you wanted him right now. He didn’t say anything, just studied your face. Your eyes were puffy, your whole face had gone pink, and you looked so tired. Like you hadn’t slept in days. Did he really do this? Luke thought. You just sat there. Waited him to say something, because you were at a loss. 

When he didn’t say anything, you turned to face him. His eyes were already all over you, clouding over in a way that almost never happened. He was lost in his own mind, being pulled back and forth on what to do.

“I don’t understand,” you started. “I have you one day and the next I just don’t.” You little sniffles between words cut deep into Luke’s skin. “I keep replaying everything in my head trying to figure out what I did, but I just don’t know.” You concluded your rant, staring at him expectantly. A single tear rolled down your cheek. That was plenty for Luke.

“No,” Luke said softly, scooting closer and taking your face into his hands. “You didn’t do anything,”

“Then why are you avoiding me?” The way your lip pouted nearly broke Luke right there. He forgot all words for a moment, brain short circuiting.

“I’m just- scared.” He admitted. You didn’t understand. What could Luke Castellan possibly be scared of? But like always, he read your mind. “When we were training the other day, one of the kids said something. Made a joke about us running away together. The thing is- that’s everything I’ve ever wanted. A life with you, a real one. Not just a life at camp. But we don’t get to have that. Demigods, I mean. It’s not safe, I could lose you. So I tried to back out before we were in too deep.” He took a second to catch his breath. So did you.

“I think we’re way past that,” you offered carefully. Luke nodded.

“Yeah. I see that now.” He stared out into the water, gathering his thoughts again.

“I don’t care if it’s not safe.” You wiped the tears from your cheek. “I want a life with you too,” That was the first time you said it out loud. He turned back to you. “Plus, if you have a sword on you? I’ll always feel safe.” He let out a breathy laugh. You reached out and grabbed his hand, and held it with both of yours. He scooted closer to you.

“Okay.” He declared. “We’ll figure something out.” He leaned over and used his free hand to pull you into his chest. “I’m sorry about all this,” he whispered.

“I know,” you said.

“So…are we on to train tomorrow?” He raised his eyebrows, smiling. You rolled your eyes.

“Yes we are. But I think we’re out of dummies,” you said. Luke laughed.

“Oh, I saw. That was terrifying.” Both of you laughed together, and it felt normal again. Actually, better than normal. With him back at your side, you could breathe again. And with the promise of a future, you never wanted to let go.

[beapeas]

Playing House

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: The Battle of Starcourt Mall leaves everyone a wreck. You and Steve take it upon yourselves to hold everyone together.

Two days after the battle at Starcourt Mall, time still felt frozen. Hopper was gone. Billy was gone. Scars were slowly forming, both the visible and invisible kind. So much had happened in the last week that you all just needed time to adjust.

You, Dustin, and Steve laid sprawled across the makeshift floor bed you had made the day before. A couple of quilts were stacked in front of the couch, with a pile of pillows and blankets. Steve was tucked into your side, snoring quietly. His face was still black and blue and split open in a few places, but it was finally starting to fade. Dustin was on the other side of you curled up in a blanket, and half-watching whatever was on TV. He was physically unscathed, but this was the quietest he’s ever been.

This is how you had spent the last 48 hours. Your mom was spending the month at her sister’s place in the city, so you were on Dustin duty. What an amazing older sister you were, letting him fight Russians and Mindflayers. When you finally got home that night, you had called her sister’s house, very careful of what to say.

“Hey mom- yeah I know it’s the middle of the night. No, everything’s okay. Listen, you might see some stuff on the news. There was an- accident, at the mall. I just wanted you to know that we’re home and we’re safe.”

She insisted on coming home. You insisted she didn’t. There was so much you couldn’t tell her, it was just easier to lick your wounds alone. Plus, you two weren’t actually alone. Steve had been here the whole time. 

After the beating he took with the Russians, you weren’t letting him out of your sight. Plus, you and Dustin liked having him around. The three of you made a pretty good weird little family. 

The first night home, you sent both boys to go shower. The only way you guys could get over the day you had was by scrubbing it away. Steve required some help with how hurt he was. You tried to keep a neutral face as he held onto you for balance, getting into clean clothes, but he saw right through you.

“I’m okay,” he whispered. You nodded, avoiding his gaze, because you knew you’d cry if you met his eyes. You hated seeing him like this. 

You said goodnight to Dustin and finally settled into your bed when there was a knock at your door. You and Steve both sat up as Dustin cracked the door open, and stared at you two from the hallway. You could hardly see him in the dark, but you could tell he opened his mouth to speak. He looked small, scared in a way you hadn’t seen him be in years. No words came out. You understood right away.

“Hey, why don’t we all just sleep in the living room tonight?” You suggested, throwing the covers off of yourself. Steve followed suit and started taking blankets off your bed and carrying them to the living room.

That’s how you found yourself laying on the floor between your boyfriend and your brother. It was the middle of the day, but your sleep schedules no longer existed. Your mind felt so scrambled that it went totally blank. You were just going through the motions. Tending to Steve’s injuries, checking on Dustin, and then just- just kind of sitting there. 

You wondered what the others were doing. How they were doing. Your mind wandered to Max. Was she home alone? Were her parents there, or maybe Lucas? You decided to find out. You gently pushed Steve off of you, earning a grumble from him. You planted a kiss on his temple for reassurance, then went over to the phone in the kitchen.

You flipped through your notebook of contacts that you kept on the counter, and found the Hargrove-Mayfield house. You dialed the number. It only rang a few times before you heard Max’s voice on the other line.

“Hello?” The girl asked.

“Hey it’s me, I just wanted to see how you were doing?” You had a soft spot for Max. When she moved to Hawkins, you were happy to see another girl join the group. You took her and El to the mall a few times when Dustin was at camp. You mostly went to see Steve, but you were happy to spend time with the girls too. You did nails, braided hair, and talked about all the girl stuff Dustin never wanted to hear. It was fun.

“I don’t know,” Max confessed.

“My parents kind of shut down. I don’t know how I feel, I’m just kind of- existing.” Her voice was small. You didn’t know what to say. It felt like there was nothing you could do to make it better. You’d be losing it if you didn’t have Steve and Dustin right there with you. That gave you an idea.

“Do you want to come over?” You proposed. “We could have a movie night. With pizza and candy and maybe we can forget about all of this for a little bit.” Max thought for a moment, then took you up on your deal.

“That sounds nice. Can El and Lucas come?” There was a hint of excitement in her voice, which made you smile.

“Anyone can come,” you said. “Dustin will be happy to see everyone.”

With that, you sprung into action. You made a couple calls and made a plan. Steve was ecstatic at your proposition. He didn’t say it out loud, but you knew he was itching to do something, anything, to protect the kids, even after the battle. Steve and Dustin were sent off to pick up food and drinks while you went on a mini tour of Hawkins, picking up all of Dustin’s friends and piling them into your station wagon.

By the time you got home, Steve and Dustin were inside setting up a mini buffet. Max, El, Mike, Will, and Lucas all rolled out of your car and streamed inside through the front door. They were all a little quieter than usual. Some had fading bruises and closing cuts, others looked like they hadn’t slept a wink. You just hoped tonight could help, even if only a tiny bit.

Once everyone was on the couch or floor with their pizza and M&M’s, you presented a pile of VHS tapes that you’d collected over the years. After settling on A New Hope, everyone went silent. 

It was unusual for a movie night not to include constant commentary from the kids, especially Dustin and Mike, but you knew everyone was tired. You’d have to be okay with no dumb jokes or dumber arguments. You and Steve curled up in the recliner, enjoying your first real meal since this whole ordeal started. No one had been in the mood to get groceries or cook, so you’d been surviving on random snacks from the depths of the pantry.

Your eyes kept drifting to Dustin. He was looking tired already, considering he was out cold only a few hours ago. But he didn’t look so haunted anymore. He was sardined on the floor between Will and Mike, pretending to be annoyed by the lack of space. It was very obvious that space was the last thing he wanted right now.

As the credits rolled, you peered around the room and found six sleeping teenagers. Carefully, you and Steve tip-toed around them collecting paper plates and red solo cups of pop. You followed that act by making sure everyone was covered with blankets, then you two went off to your own room to sleep.

The next morning, the kids were still sleeping when you and Steve woke up. You took this opportunity to whip up some pancakes. You and Steve attempted to make them in complete silence, but his whisk kept clanking against the metal bowl. He bit his lip as he stirred with both hands, like this is the first time he’s ever been allowed in a kitchen.

“Stevee!” You whisper-yelled. “You’re going to wake them up.” He looked at the bowl like it had personally insulted him.

“I’m not trying to,” he grumbled. You smiled. “What? Is there batter on me or something?” He swiped at his face, but came up empty. 

“No,” you laughed. “I just like playing house with you.” You abandoned your station at the stove to wrap your arms around his waste, gazing up at him.

“You know, I’ve always wanted six kids.” He said so casually. Your eyes nearly bugged out of your head.

“SIX?” You yelled. Steve clapped his hand over your mouth, equally as amused as he was concerned about your volume. You pulled his hand off of your mouth and started whispering this time. “Steven, you are out of your mind if you think I’m having six kids. I’m tapping out at two” Steve faked a groan, though the smile on his face was obvious.

“Guess we’ll have to meet in the middle and have four.”

“Fine, but the last two are coming out of you.” You declared. Steve chuckled again, and pulled you in closer. You stayed like that for a moment, until you remembered you had pancakes on the skillet.

Twenty minutes and several pounds of chocolate chips later, breakfast was ready. You and Steve trekked down to the basement to find two folding chairs to add to your now too-small kitchen table. Apparently it was a noisy journey, because when you returned, at least three kids were sitting up.

“What’s that smell?” Mike rasped.

“Chocolate chip pancakes.” You told him. That’s all it took for Mike and Max to shake awake the remaining sleepers.

“Guys, get up. Mom and Dad make breakfast.” He shouted, tossing pillows at Will and Dustin. After that, everyone was at least half awake. While everyone found their spots around the table and started to eat, you leaned against the countertop with Steve, sipping your coffee and admiring your work.

“You’re really good at this,” Steve muttered.

“Making pancakes?” You asked. He shook his head.

“No, taking care of the kids.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice,” you gestured towards Dustin, who was about to wrestle Lucas for the syrup.

“Are you sure you don’t want six kids?” He tried again.

“Positive. Now go eat,” you pushed him towards the table, where there were two empty chairs left. You grabbed a couple plates and followed Steve, joining the rest of them for breakfast. For the first time since that night at the mall, everything seemed okay.

[beapeas]

New Year's Kiss

Steve Harrington x Henderson!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Summary: After all that's happened in Hawkins, you don't get out much. But Dustin drags you to Steve's New Year's Eve party, and you're glad he did.

“Are you ready yet?” Your brother shouted from just outside of your room. The truth was, you had been ready for half an hour. You just didn’t want to go. Dustin had enlisted you to take him to Steve’s house for a New Years Eve party with everyone. 

You liked everyone there. You liked Steve a little too much. But after everything with Vecna and the Upside Down, you weren’t into big gatherings with loud noises and bright lights anymore. You prefer staying home these days, in a controlled environment where you can almost control your anxiety. 

“Did you hear me?” Dustin said, quieter this time. He had opened the door and stuck his head in. You jumped a little in your stool, then turned around. 

“Oh yeah, sorry. I’m ready.” You set your hairbrush down on the vanity and stood up. Dustin was still standing there, with that look he always gave you since you nearly died at the hands of Vecna. Concerned, and questioning. Like he wasn’t quite sure what you saw when you closed your eyes, but he knew it couldn’t be good.

He picked up the cardigan that you had pulled out of your closet and tossed on your bed when you started getting ready. You took it from his hands and threw it over your tank top and jeans, not bothering to button it up. You found your car keys on your dresser and handed them to Dustin.

“Can you grab the cookies I made and take them out to the car? I’ll be there in a minute.” You instructed him. Dustin nodded his head and marched out of your room. Once he was gone, you stood still and took a deep breath. Everyone was traumatized, you thought. Everyone else had only grown closer. So why did you feel like you were a million miles away?

By the time you psyched yourself up and put on your coat and shoes, Dustin was already in the front seat of your car, cranking the heat and blasting your mixtape. You hopped in the driver seat, and promptly turned the music down.

“Dustin you can’t blast Simon and Garfunkel,” you informed him. He faked a pout, but there was a smile tugging at his lips.

“You used to all the time.” He reminded you.

“Yeah, well, things change.” You know Dustin wanted you to be your old self again. You wanted the same thing. But neither of you would say it.

You pulled into Steve’s driveway, parking right next to Jonathan’s car. You wondered how many children he was forced to drive here. Obviously, more than you. Dustin barely waited for you to be in park before he hopped out of your car. You watched him run up to the door with a smile, just happy that he was happy. 

There was a brief moment where you considered putting your car in reverse and high-tailing it home. Dustin could still have a good night and you could still hide in your room. But you wanted so badly to see everyone. To feel normal. So, you took the cookies from the backseat and headed for the door.

Inside, it was exactly as you expected. The kids were scattered all over the kitchen and the living room playing games, and watching the New Year’s broadcast from New York. Dustin was in the kitchen, watching Steve make him some weird concoction of soda and juice. Robin and Nancy were on the couch deep in discussion, while Jonathan was refereeing a game of Sorry at the kitchen table.

You stood in by the door for a moment, just observing. That is, until Dustin spotted you and ran over to take the tray of cookies.

“Took ya long enough,” he muttered, carrying the tray back to the kitchen. You chuckled, and bent over to unlace your converse and kick them off into the enormous sea of shoes. When you stood up, Steve was standing in front of you, a careful smile on his face. 

“Hi,” he said quietly. His hands were awkwardly shoved into his pockets, like he was restraining himself from something. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.” You bit your lip, trying to smile.

“Yeah, I wasn’t either. But Dustin really wanted me to come, and well, I wanted to see you too.” Steve smiled more at that. So did you. Without another word, he put his hand on your back and guided you towards the kitchen. The others turned towards you and said hi, but they were careful not to overwhelm you. They knew better. You felt fine, so far. You credited Steve for that.

The room was illuminated with a soft yellow light, partially from the Christmas tree which still stood in the corner of the living room. The Doors greatest hits record was rolling on the record player, which happened to be one of your favorites. Silver streamers hung from the walls in a way that could only be Robin’s work, accompanied by silver and gold balloons scattered on the floors. Everything here seemed so- normal. From an outsider’s view, you’d never know what this group had been through.

“What do you want to drink?” Steve asked, leaving your side to go to the fridge. You followed him with your eyes. “Beer? Vodka cran?” You shook your head.

“No thanks, trying to cut back.” You joked. Steve laughed, probably harder than he should have. But he had been waiting for you to crack a joke again for months. 

“What will it be then?” He inquired. You scanned the drinks in his fridge, and found your favorite.

“Cherry Coke?”

“Coming right up.”

The first couple hours had been better than you expected. Other than the occasional loud argument breaking out among the boys, it was pretty calm. You were able to amble around and catch up with everyone. Max approached you with a couple of hair ties, asking you to braid her hair. You did her hair almost every day that you saw her, and it made you smile that she came prepared for today. As two girls that only had brothers, you both appreciated the girl time.

When Steve wasn’t right next to you, he kept an eye on you from across the room. Dustin did the same thing, until he got distracted by his friends. You were glad. You didn’t want him worrying about you so much.

As the hours inched closer towards midnight, you could feel your heart rate picking up. Slowly, every little noise was magnified when it reached you. The lights were hurting your head and looking at the TV screen made you nauseous. The crowded room was getting too warm. The kids were hopped up on sugar at this point, and they were getting hyper. You were on the couch between two different conversations, neither of which you could focus on. It was just too much.

You looked around the room to find Steve, who was in the corner talking to Robin. You thought about approaching them and seeking comfort in them, but you didn’t want to bother them. You didn’t know how to explain what was going on. Instead, you stood up quietly and found your coat slung over a chair. You tried to go unnoticed as you slipped through the front door. 

Outside, the chill in the air was welcome as you took a seat on the front porch. You sat with your hands in your lap, watching your breath as it froze in the air whenever you exhaled. The noise from inside was muffled now, and that was a great relief. You were just settling into the silence when you heard the door shut.

“You okay?” Steve asked. He took a seat next to you, leaving no space between. He was warm.

“Yeah,” you assured him. “It’s just- loud.” You didn’t know if you meant the party or your mind. Steve searched your face like he was trying to confirm your story. When he saw no tears and no obvious signs of distress, he nodded.

“It’s freezing out here,” he said, rubbing his hands together. You smiled, looking out onto the street. The neighbor’s lawns were still covered in snow from weeks ago. It glistened in the streetlights, laying still, and calm.

“I like winter.” You said. “I never did before, but this year, it’s been nice.” You took Steve’s hands in yours, helping him warm them up. “Snow absorbs sound, you know. That’s why it’s so quiet out here. So peaceful.” You hated to imagine what could be hiding in the night. Somehow, the snow made the dark seem less scary. 

“I’m glad you came here tonight,” Steve said. “I’ve missed you.” You turned to face him now, and met his big brown eyes that were oh-so-distracting when he was trying to be sincere. You’d seen him in passing recently, mostly thanks to Dustin. But it’s been so long since you actually spent time together, and it wasn’t any fault of Steve’s. When you couldn’t look at him anymore, you let your head fall onto his shoulder.

“I’ve missed you too. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to see you, I just-” You trailed off.

“I know. I’m not upset,” Steve snaked his arm through yours and pulled you even closer. You followed suit. “This year is going to be better,” he said. You chuckled.

“God, it better be. I can’t begin to imagine how it could possibly get worse,” you said. Steve laughed back.

“Yeah, let’s not go down that path.” The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, until everyone inside started shouting a count down.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Everyone screamed. Steve pulled his sleeve back and checked the time on his watch, as if it weren’t obvious. You lifted your head, waiting for Steve’s report.

“Looks like it’s midnight,” he declared. You hummed in agreement. Steve looked up, a smile tugging at his lips like he was planning something. “Gosh, if only there was a pretty girl nearby for a new year’s kiss,” he said dramatically, avoiding your stare. You could only laugh.

“Oh my god, Steve, you’re an idiot.” You said, grabbing his face in both your hands. You didn’t waste any more time, and leaned in for a kiss. Steve melted into your touch right away, reciprocating your kiss. 

When you finally pulled back, you saw Steve grinning bigger than ever. You were probably making the same face.

“How long were you cooking that up for?” You asked, incredibly amused. He shook his head, still smiling like an idiot.

“All night,” he admitted. 

“That’s funny, because my new year's resolution was actually to kiss you more often,” you teased.

“Oh really?” Steve played along. “Well, I guess we better get started on that.” He leaned in again, and you knew you were done for.

For the first time in months, you were glad you left your house. You didn’t even want to go home, you could stay here like this forever. Dustin would have to find another ride, because you weren’t planning on moving from this spot for a while.

[beapeas]

Savior

Steve Harrington x Byer! Reader

Word Count: 3k

Summary: A close encounter with the Mindflayer leads to an even closer encounter with Steve

As you walked around Starcourt Mall gathering anything that could be used as a weapon, you knew shit was about to hit the fan. There were a million things running through your head, none of which you had time for. You were worried for your family. Your mom was on her own mission with Hooper, your little brother and his friends were the target of yet another insane super villain, and your twin brother was hellbent on playing the hero of the family. What could possibly go wrong?

You were a floor above everyone, trying to collect your thoughts before all hell broke loose. You had your backpack on your front, wide open for easy access to the fireworks you had filled it with. You roamed around the dark, empty hallway and talked yourself through it. Your mom is fine. Will is going to be fine. Jonathan, he’s always fine. And Steve- 

You hated how fast your mind went to Steve. Steve who wasn’t even your boyfriend, but who acted like it in nearly every way. Steve who was your best friend. Steve who your twin still kind of hated and who your mom didn’t quite trust yet. You understood. But it didn’t make you like him any less. So when there were others around, you tried to act normal around him. It was getting harder to pretend, though.

Just as you began to get lost in your thoughts, you heard yelling. And footsteps. Massive footsteps that rattled the very foundation of the building, accompanied by the sound of shattering glass. The Mindflayer was here. You half-zipped your backpack so nothing would fall out while you sprinted to join the fight.

You took your spot next to Lucas, lighting fireworks and pelting  the Mindflayer with them as it went for your friends on the lower level. It went for El and Max, but you just kept lighting it up. You and Lucas found a perfect rhythm. You reload while he shoots and vice versa. Your arm started to burn, but you couldn’t stop. You could only half see what was going on below you, but you had to trust in the plan and trust that the others would hold up their part.

It was working. The Mindflayer was getting weaker. You reached into your bag for another firework, but found it was empty. You looked over to Lucas, whose hands were now open too. Maybe you should have gone back to gather more, but there was no time. Without checking to see what Lucas was going to do, you ran down the stairs. You had eyes on Jonathan who was fighting beside Nancy. You had eyes on Steve and Robin who were all black and blue, but they were okay. You rapidly whipped your head around searching for Will, and just as you laid your eyes on him, there was a searing pain in your leg.

You let out a blood curdling scream before even realizing what had happened. As you collapsed to the ground, you saw the Mindflayer marching towards you. You saw three jagged clawmarks running down the side of your thigh and a concerning amount of blood. You tried to jump to your feet, but even air on your leg felt like being ripped into all over again. So, you screamed for the first person that came to your mind.

“STEVE!” You grabbed a pole that was in front of you and pulled yourself into it, away from the Mindflayer. You thought you heard others yelling as the edges of your vision started to turn black. The pain radiated through your leg and to the rest of your body, giving you the shakes. This is it, you thought. You’re going to bleed out right here, and nearly everyone you care about is here to watch. What a way to go.

It sounded like Jonathan shouted your name and Nancy’s bullets rained over your head. It seemed to slow down the Mindflayer and gave Steve just enough time to reach you. You saw streaks of blue and red from his Scoops Ahoy Uniform while he ran. He didn’t say anything as he scooped you into his arms and backed up, quickly.

You were clinging to consciousness almost as hard as you were clinging to Steve’s shirt. He gazed down at you and took in your state as he continued to walk you two away from the fight. His big brown eyes looked completely adorable, even when his pupils were blown wide with panic. You looked back at him, analyzing his injuries just the same. 

You saw him earlier, right after he and Robin escaped their Russian kidnappers. His eye was nearly swollen shut, his lip was cut open, and based on the way he squinted, you could tell he had a killer headache. Yours was coming on now too. 

“You look like hell,” you rasped. He let out a small chuckle, but his worried eyes stayed the same.

“You’re the one bleeding all over me, sweetheart.” You looked down again, and confirmed what he said. You looked away before the sight made you throw up on him too. Steve had made his way to a dark corner where you were out of the Mindflayer’s view. He sat you down against a wall, where you laid your palms down on the cold floor to brace yourself. 

Steve got up and yanked a shirt off of a nearby mannequin, then ripped down the side seam to create one long strip of fabric.

“Shouldn’t you be out there with everyone else?” You asked him. Though it was quieter from here, you could still hear the battle roaring on. Clinking and clanging, yelling, and gunshots. Steve didn’t pause for your question, instead, he knelt in front of you.

“I’m not leaving you like this. Now, hold still.” He began wrapping your leg in the fabric. The pressure made you jump a bit, and your hand instinctively flew to his shoulder. You squeezed it tight, but he didn’t flinch. You leaned your head back against the wall and squeezed your eyes shut, even biting your lip to prevent a whimper from escaping. Unsuccessfully.

Steve was done wrapping your leg, but still had his hands pressed to the bandaged wound, pushing what felt like his whole body weight into it. A tear slipped down your face.

“I know, I’m sorry. I just gotta stop the bleeding.” He whispered. You weakly nodded your head. You tried to focus on what was going on across the room. You could see the Mindflayer hobbling around, but none of your friends were in view. You knew they needed more hands out there, so you grabbed Steve’s wrists and pulled them away from your leg. He looked up at you in confusion.

“I got it from here,” you told him, putting your hands where his were a moment ago. “Go help them.” You winced as you put more pressure onto your leg. Steve sat there and stared for a moment, contemplating his options. He looked back at the rest of the group, and must have seen their struggle. He nodded.

“Okay, okay, just- keep pressure on it. And yell if you need me.” He stood up slowly, waiting for you to protest. When you didn’t, he ran back to everyone else, looking back just once. You reassured him with a nod, and saw him wipe his bloodied hands off on his equally disgusting shirt.

You weren’t sure how much time passed. There was yelling, and gunfire, a lot of random flying objects. You tried to scoot yourself to a place where you could see what was going on better, but still only had half the action within view. The bleeding was slowing down, but you still felt yourself growing weaker by the moment. 

You found your backpack on the floor next to you and laid your head on it, deciding it was better to lay down now than pass out later and hit your head. It turned out to be a good move, because your vision started to blur again and soon everything went black.

Some time later, hands on your arm jerked you out of your haze. You covered your face with your hands and shrieked, expecting the Mindflayer to be on you again.

“Hey, hey, it’s me,” a familiar voice said.  You slowly opened your eyes and recognized that Steve was hovering over you, rubbing circles into  your arm. “It’s over, we’re safe now.” He reached over and brushed your hair out of your face and met your eyes. It took a moment for his words to sink in. It’s over. 

“Is everyone okay?” You asked him. You waited for his eyes to shift away, for him to tell you that your worst fears had come true. But his face stayed neutral.

“Everyone but Billy.” You sighed. You had a feeling it would end this way. Though you weren’t exactly fond of Billy, he didn’t deserve this. Max didn’t deserve this. You’d spent the last few years doing everything you can to keep your brothers safe, and she just lost hers. You couldn’t imagine. 

You didn’t know what to say, so you just nodded slowly. It was quiet now. The group started shuffling by, slowly making their way to the parking lot. Outside, in the distance, you could hear sirens beginning to wail. Part of you dreaded it. How on Earth would you explain this to the cops? But the other part of you knew you needed medical attention. Steve’s eyes went to the window, where blue and red lights appeared.

“Think you can stand if I help you?” He asked, holding his arms out. You nodded, and slowly sat up, throwing your backpack over your shoulder. You took his hands and planted your good foot on the ground, pulling yourself up onto that one. Steve anchored his arm around your waist and you threw one of yours over his shoulders for stability. 

You started hobbling out of the mall, each step sending a fresh wave of pain up your leg. Jonathan and Nancy were right behind you, making sure everyone else was out of the building before they left. Jonathan caught sight of your make-shift bandage that was completely soaked through with blood.

“Jesus Christ," he muttered. He and Nancy ran in front of you two to hold the big double doors open. You were still dazed, but finally aware of your surroundings. They both looked fine to you, just a little messy from the day’s events. Lucky them. You tapped Steve’s hand, signalling him to stop for a moment. You turned to Jonathan.

“Have you heard from mom?” You asked him. You were glad she wasn’t here to see you get hurt, but could really use her right about now.

“Not yet. Haven’t had a chance to call her radio.” He nodded on for you and Steve to keep going, clearly wanting out of the building. You two continued forward, your brother and Nancy close behind you.

Outside, a different kind of chaos was spreading. Not the loud, terrifying kind, but the kind that just had so much going on at once. First responders of every kind were covering the parking lot. Joyce slowly appeared from afar, snaking her way through the traffic and scanning the crowd. She looked like she had been through the wringer. 

Your stomach dropped when you realized she was alone. You searched the lot for Hopper, but he was nowhere to be found. A few yards in front of you, you could see El coming to the same realization. Steve noticed your stillness and followed your eyeline to your mom, who was now locked in an embrace with El. He watched for a moment, thinking, then tightened his grip on you.

Will was standing in a little huddle with his friends when Mike tapped his shoulder and pointed in your direction. You weren’t sure what all Will saw during the fight, but based on his quiet gasp, he didn’t see when the Mindflayer tried to maul you. 

Will jogged over to meet you where you were, and Jonathan found his place next to you. With your free arm, you wrapped your brothers in a tight embrace. You three stood in your own little sibling huddle (plus Steve, who was holding most of your weight at this point). After a moment, Will pulled back and just stared at your leg, mildly horrified.

“Well, we all survived,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“You should get that checked out.” Jonathan said, pointing towards one of the ambulances parked by the curb. You nodded in agreement, but stayed in your spot.

“I know, I just want to talk to Mom first.” The boys nodded, though they didn’t quite look satisfied with your answer. All the commotion distracted you from your injury for a moment, but it wasn’t getting any better. A small trail of blood continued to run down your leg, and you were still feeling weak. You started shaking just a tiny bit, but Steve noticed right away.

He was doing his best not to interrupt your family time, but that would have to wait now. He stepped in front of you and put his free arm around your waist too. You tightly wrapped both arms around his neck, suddenly dizzy again. Jonathan and Will watched, helpless, while Steve kept you upright.

“Hey, hey, hey, we’re not doing this again.” Steve muttered gently. “C’mon, stay with me.” He moved one arm to your back as you started to sway. Jonathan nudged Will with his elbow.

“Go get mom,” he whispered. Will ran off. Steve held you flush against his chest to maintain any stability he could. He spotted a paramedic a few yards away.

“Hey!” He shouted, getting the man’s attention. “Can we get some help over here?” The world around you was becoming fuzzy again. You hardly even noticed when the paramedics lifted you onto a gurney. Steve stayed right by your side, holding your hand as they strapped you in. 

Will came back with your mom as they started loading you into the ambulance. You faintly heard her yell, asking Jonathan what happened.

“Mom?” you weakly asked. That made Joyce go quiet. She rushed to the edge of the ambulance. 

“I’m right here honey,” she reached for your hand, but you were still being moved into the vehicle. Steve stood right beside her, arms crossed like he does when he’s upset.

“You should stay with El,” you muttered weakly. Joyce went silent again, not being able to imagine leaving her child like this. “She’s gonna need a parent. I’m okay, Steve will stay with me.” Joyce turned to Steve, who agreed with you.

“I’ll call as soon as we get there,” he told your mom. Joyce stammered, still wanting to argue even if you were right. She didn’t know Steve very well. She knew Jonathan didn’t like him, though she didn’t know why. And now he was standing in front of her, covered in her daughter’s blood. But you wanted him there, she knew that much.

“Okay. I’ll meet you there as soon as I can.” Joyce said, taking a step back to stand next to Jonathan and Will. Steve nodded solemnly and jumped into the ambulance next to you.

The rest of that night was a blur. You got pain meds pretty quickly, which knocked you right out. You were glad for that. Steve was there by your side the whole time. Besides one trip to the bathroom, a trip to the phone in the hallway, and another trip to the bathroom to change into clean clothes that a nurse had brought him. 

You ended up in surgery shortly after arriving at the hospital. They needed to stop the bleeding, repair your quad muscle, and stitch everything back up. Joyce made it to the hospital in the middle of the night, an hour after you got out of surgery. She found you asleep in your hospital bed right next to Steve, who was fast asleep on your good side. You were slumped against him, hand wrapped around his arm just like earlier. Joyce smiled to see you at peace after such a rough night.

The following weeks were hard, to say the least. Your family was moving to California, but you were staying in Indiana for college. You knew you’d be moving away from them at the end of the summer anyways, but you never imagined it would be so far. You thought about going to school in California instead, but you couldn’t throw away your scholarship. Plus, it was close to Steve.

Steve was there for your full recovery. He helped you pack up your whole life when you were on crutches and couldn’t do it yourself. He stayed with you when you cried for days after saying goodbye to your family. He helped you move into your little studio apartment in Indianapolis, and stayed over most weekends. Somewhere along the way, he went from not quite your boyfriend, to definitely your boyfriend.

One Friday night early into the semester, you were at Steve’s house for a change. His parents were out of town again, and you were really missing Hawkins. As you were getting ready to meet Robin for dinner, you stood in front of Steve’s mirror, examining your leg. 

You were so excited to wear your new dress, but the long jagged scar etched down your leg in such an ugly way. The raised, pink skin was impossible not to notice, even from afar. You tilted your head, trying to convince yourself it wasn’t so bad from another angle.

“Are you almost ready Sweetheart? Rob’s gonna be there soon,” Steve asked, coming up behind. He snaked his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder, staring at you through the mirror. You tugged your dress down, trying to cover as much of your scar as possible, but Steve was having none of that. He grabbed the hem of the skirt and pulled it up just barley, to put it where it was before. You rolled your eyes and smacked his hand away, though you were smiling

“You weirdo,” you teased. Steve pulled away from you to grab his wallet and keys from his dresser.

“Well, this weirdo is hungry. You ready?” He extended his hand to you, smiling his big dumb smile like he always does. You grabbed your purse from his bed, then took his hand.

“Mhm. Let’s go.”

[beapeas]

Don't Say a Word

Steve Harrington x Henderson! Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: While stuck in the middle of Steve and Jonathan's arguing, you out your secret relationship with Steve to shut them up.

Author's Note: The new season got some gears turning. Season five spoilers, of course. Say a prayer for Steve's saftey in the next part (I'm scared)

All you had heard for the last hour and a half were bouts of childish bickering followed by stretches of silence. It was a seemingly endless cycle that made you want to scream at both of the boys. Steve sat in the front of the WSQK van manning the wheel while Jonathan was crouched in the back focusing on the satellite. You sat on the floor between the two with the radio, trying to get ahold of your little brother. He should have been here a while ago.

You have worried about him a lot since Eddie died. As if losing a friend isn’t enough, all of Hawkins High now thought Dustin was friends with a murderer. He didn’t tell you much about what went on at school, but you knew it couldn’t have been easy. You called for him again on the radio, but got no response. 

“Damnit, where the hell is he?” You asked no one in particular. Steve turned back to face you, looking all apologetic and equally as worried as you. He glanced in the rear view mirror to make sure Jonathan was still focused on the tech in front of him. When he knew the coast was clear, he reached back and grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. You met his eyes and sighed, knowing his mind was running just as fast as yours. He smiled at you as he let your hand go, not wanting to get caught like this. Not today.

You’d known Steve for most of your life, as you’d always gone to the same school. Though you didn’t pay him any mind until the Upside Down opened. You were always with Jonathan or Nancy just trying to keep all of your siblings alive when he suddenly entered the picture. It was odd at first, to see King Steve being all buddy-buddy with your little brother. But he grew on you fast. 

He became your best friend. Then your boyfriend, though no one but Robin knew about that yet. It just wasn’t a good time with the constant world-ending threats you were dealing with. Plus, the two of you were confident Dustin would freak out. Probably ignore both of you for a while. That wouldn’t work while you were trying to take down Vecna. So for now, it was a secret.

You had known Jonathan for just as long. You never meant to become so close to him, but when your brothers became best friends in elementary school, you saw each other more and more every day. You also went to school together, so it just made sense that you became good friends. By high school, you were driving the kids places together, babysitting together, and even just hanging out on your own. It was nice.

Just as the silence was settling over the van again, Jonathan cursed under his breath while fiddling with the satellite.

“Need help back there?” Steve asked. Here we go again, you thought.

“Yeah, like you could help me with this,” Jonathan scoffed. You buried your face in your hands, ready for another round of arguing.

“Do you hear anything?” You asked Jonathan, trying to break the boys up before they could get into it. But they ignored you. Jonathan’s eyes were locked on Steve’s, seeing red before either of them had said much of anything. 

You knew what this was about. Jonathan thinks Steve is still into Nancy. You and Steve both knew that was far from the truth, but you just couldn’t prove it without exposing your relationship.

“It can’t possibly be that hard,” Steve remarked. You sighed, deciding to give up and fade back into the background.

“Oh really? You think you could do this? Wanna come try it and show off for Nancy again?” He was yelling now, and that means Steve would start yelling too.

“Oh my god, I am not trying to impress Nancy. How many times do I have to tell you?” Steve glanced down at you, but you didn’t notice. You hated this conversation. Steve knows you hated this conversation. You believed Steve wholeheartedly, but hearing his past relationship brought up so often was starting to weigh on you.

“However many times it takes for me to believe you.” Jonathan stared at Steve, anticipating another loud rebuttal. But Steve just huffed and turned back around.

“My girlfriend believes me,” he simply stated. You whipped your head up and caught Steve’s expression in the mirror. He was completely stone faced, but with a mischievous look in his eye only you would recognize. You bit back a grin. Jonathan hadn’t said a word, just looking at Steve with his jaw on the floor.

“You don’t have a girlfriend.” Jonathan said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I do,” Steve said. That’s how you knew he was done arguing with Jonathan. But Jonathan wasn’t satisfied yet.

“Alright then, who is she?” He asked. You decided to play along.

“Yeah, who is she?” You repeated. Steve cracked a smile at that.

“Not telling.” He said. Jonathan was looking at you now, like you were both finding this out at the same time. You played innocent and matched his surprised expression.

“Why the hell would you have a secret girlfriend?” Jonathan asked, skeptical as always. Steve just shrugged.

“We got bigger fish to fry right now than me going around telling everyone about my girlfriend.” It was the truth, but not the whole truth. You are having fun now. You waited a moment, debating if you should say anything. Nobody else spoke, so you filled the silence.

“Plus her little brother would freak the fuck out if he found out his best friend was dating his sister,” you offered, no longer suppressing your smile. Steve raised his eyebrows at you, shocked by your admission, but not upset. Relieved, even. Jonathan, on the other hand, was aghast. Suddenly the big van felt small as you and Steve waited for a response.

“Wait-” Jonathan sputtered. “You?” He pointed at you. “And you?” Then he pointed at Steve. You noddled, giggling, while Steve threw his hands up in the air. You thumbed under the neckline of your shirt and pulled out a gold chain that had a little S charm at the bottom. 

Steve had bought it for you just two months ago, and you hadn’t taken it off once. You were, however, very careful to keep it tucked under your clothes when other people were around.

“See?” You showed him. “Proof.”

“Believe me now Byers?” Your boyfriend said. You hoped they’d get over themselves and get along now. Jonathan sat back against his heels, eyebrows knit together like he was doing complicated math or something.

“How long?” Is all he said. 

“Eight months,” You confessed. You looked at Steve, who was clearly enjoying this. His lips were quirked up in that big stupid grin of his, which made you laugh again. 

“Eight months? And nobody knows?”

“Robin knows.” Steve declared. You were going to tell no one, but then Robin burst into Steve’s room while you were asleep in his bed, in his clothes. There was no lying your way out of that situation. You thought by now she’d surely have given you guys away, but she was very committed to keeping your secret. 

“But you can’t tell anyone.” You demand, no longer giggling. “Especially my brother. He’s having a rough enough time, let’s not add to that.”

“Relax,” Jonathan raises his hands in surrender. “I’m not gonna go talking about who you make out with in your free time,” He chuckled now. You scrunched up your face as his choice of words.

“Ew,” you muttered. Steve shot you a look.

“Making out with me is ‘ew’?” 

You didn’t have time to think up a response, because something outside the window caught your eye. Or, someone. It was Dustin, walking towards the van only two hours late. Something looked off, so you adjusted your glasses and squinted to get a better look. Dustin had two black eyes and a bloody nose. The alarm bells in your head went off immediately as you tucked your necklace back under your shirt and hopped out of the van.

Before you ran right to Dustin, you turned back to Jonathan and whispered,

“Don’t say a word.” You ran to your brother before waiting for Jonathan to agree.

[beapeas]

Happy Birthday

JJ Maybank x Routledge! Reader

Word Count: 2k

Summary: No one is home to greet you when you wake up on your birthday. You assume there will be a surprise later in the day, but there never is. JJ tries to pick up the pieces.

When you woke up to an empty house that morning, you weren’t surprised. John B and JJ liked to go fishing or surfing early in the morning sometimes. And you liked to sleep, so they never woke you. The living room was dark, except for the light that bypassed the blinds and poured into the house in long stripes. You looked for a note on the table, but there was none. There usually wasn’t but you thought, maybe today there would be.

It was your birthday today. The big 19. You thought today you could have dinner with your brother and the rest of the group, or maybe a little bonfire and you guys could just hang out all night. You didn’t need presents and a big party, you were just looking forward to seeing everyone. You see John B every day of course, you live with him. Sarah’s over most nights too. But it’s been a while since you all hung out together. JJ had been working non-stop, Kiara just returned from a trip with her parents, and Pope had a new lab job that was keeping him busy. Your birthday was the perfect excuse to see everyone.

You were expecting to get some texts from your friends by now. It was nearly noon when you finished breakfast and hopped in the shower. It wasn’t a big deal, everyone was probably still winding down from their past week of endeavours. You decided to be the first, and texted the group chat.

“Any plans today?” You asked. Minutes passed. No response. You blow dried your hair. When you were finished, you had a few messages.

“Booked and busy. Fish are biting today.” John B said. 

“Don’t worry, caught you a big one.” JJ added. He was probably on the boat laughing at his own joke, knowing how much you hate fish. John B probably smacked him on the chest and muttered a ‘stop flirting with my sister’ like he so often did. JJ then sent a picture of him and your fish. It was cute, though you felt bad for the whole hook in the face thing. You laughed to yourself as you typed,

“Is John B okay? He looks weird in that picture” That prompted everyone to jump on John B, your inquiry long forgotten.

It wasn’t the end of the world though, they wouldn’t actually be out fishing all day. Definitely not after dark. In fact, this was starting to feel like a setup. A surprise party perhaps. You thought that must be it, but you couldn’t be caught lacking. You finished doing your hair and makeup, which you very rarely wear. You’re in the water too much for that to really be an option. But today was special. You found your favorite jeans (though you wore them nearly every day) and put on a real top, not some old t-shirt. Then, you waited.

You watched TV for a bit, then hung outside on the hammock. You still didn’t have any new messages, and none of the group had come by the house. It was still early though, so you decided to get groceries like you normally would on a Saturday. And then you got home and still, nothing. The boat was back on the dock, but the twinkie was gone and the lights were out. The sun was even starting to go down. By now you thought someone would have come up with some reason to make you leave the house so they could decorate or find a cake or something. Anything. Maybe they were doing your party somewhere else, you thought. Kiara would have easy access to the wreck, and John B to the marina.

So, you decided to grab your purse and head downtown. You’re perfectly between the two locations, so you can go whenever you’re summoned. You stroll down the street, streetlights casting a yellow glow in their wake. You pop into a book store, and find one that’s been on your list. Normally you’d get it at the library to save money, but it was your birthday after all. You deserved a splurge. And boy did you, it was a hardcover. 

After paying for your book, you ventured further down the street. You passed the diner and suddenly really needed a drink. You had walked halfway across town, after all. You stopped outside of the glass doors when you saw it. John B, JJ, Sarah, Pope, and Kiara all sitting around a table, having dinner, without you. On your birthday. They had milkshakes and everything. Clearly no intention of sharing cake later. You probably looked pathetic, the way you stopped and stared. But it was impossible to look away. They were smiling and laughing, and all together after weeks apart. And none of them thought to include you.

You looked at John B, your brother, and wondered what exactly he was planning on telling you when he got home. Had he forgotten what today was? Or worse, did he know and exclude you anyways? Was he going to say he was still out fishing? And JJ, your best friend. Your friend who just might be more if your brother weren’t standing in the way. You had more expectations from him. 

For his birthday a few months ago, you woke him up with pancakes. Then when he went surfing with the guys, you stayed home to make him a cake. Chocolate, his favorite. All of you spent the whole day celebrating with a bonfire, a lot of beer, and the cake. He was so excited when he saw it, kissing you on the cheek and demanding the first piece. You’d make a thousand cakes to see that reaction again.

You didn’t know how long you had been standing there, but you caught JJ’s eye. He looked up for just a moment, and he saw you standing there, staring. His eyes met yours, then trailed down your face. He noticed you were crying before you did. He looked surprised to see you, which only made you angry. He got up, but you didn’t wait. You started away from the diner doors as fast as you could.

JJ didn’t chase you right away. When he got up from the table, everyone turned to him, asking what he was doing. By the time the group could pay their bills and come searching for you, you had ducked over to another street. You were sad, angry, and embarrassed. You waited for them all day, but now it was obvious you were waiting for nothing. You couldn’t believe it.

Though you felt just about every negative emotion in existence, you were still determined to have a birthday. Maybe not a good one, but a birthday nonetheless. So you wiped your tears and popped into the bakery down the street. You knew they had good cupcakes, Sarah got them for Kie’s birthday one year. A whole box of them would have broken the bank, but one wouldn’t hurt.

The sun had fully set by the time you completed your walk home. Everyone was inside- you could see them all bobbing around in the kitchen. They had been blowing up your phone for the last hour. You shut it off. You weren’t ready to face them. You just wanted to enjoy your cupcake in peace. 

You plopped down on the porch step, defeated, and opened the little box. You got the last confetti cake of the day. One small win. You picked up the cupcake reverently, ready to enjoy the only good thing you’d have today. What a way to start the year. Then, the door cracked open. You looked up to meet JJ’s eyes a second time that night, but you looked down right away. He sat down next to you, closer than you would have liked right now, but you didn't react. Not until you saw something beside you glow.

He was holding a single birthday candle, already lit. When you met his eyes again, he stuck the candle into your cupcake before you could protest. His big blue eyes lit up in the candlelight and his skin took on a golden hue. You didn’t need him looking so gorgeous while you were upset.

“Make a wish,” he said. But your only wishes for today had long been shattered. You glared up at him, and aggressively blew out the candle without breaking eye contact. JJ frowned. 

“You know, I thought today was Friday. I thought tomorrow was your birthday. I missed work and everything, "he started. You huffed a quiet laugh.

“Is that everyone else’s excuse too?” JJ shook his head.

“Can’t speak for them. But I know that I’m sorry.” You were still sad. Maybe a little mad. But you were never good at turning JJ away. So, you plucked the candle from your cupcake and split it roughly in half. You handed the smaller half to him, and bit into your piece. A silent peace offering. JJ followed suit, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Wait, this is really good,” You mumbled.

“Mmm, I like the cake you made me better.” You smiled up at him, and let your head flop onto his shoulder. 

“That good, huh?” He nodded.

“That good.” The two of you sat in comfortable silence as you finished the cupcake. No one else tried to come outside. JJ probably told them not to. But you were in no rush to listen to your brother’s lame excuse for forgetting the birthday of his one and only living family member. Instead, you told JJ about your day. You showed him your new book and described the funny cranes you saw near the water. 

“Hey, I made you something.” JJ said, digging in one of the many pockets on his cargo shorts. He pulls out a green braided bracelet. You smile, taking it from his hands to examine it closer.

“Is this fishing wire?” You ask him. He nods excitedly.

“I’m quite the handyman you know,” You just smile at him, and start trying to put it on. JJ quickly intervenes and ties it around your wrist for you. “I was saving it for tomorrow, but apparently your birthday is actually today,” he jokes. You laugh, despite yourself. You hold your arm out to examine your wrist. It was far from the first gift he gave you made from random things he found, but you had to admit, he was getting pretty good at it.

“Thank you, JJ.” 

After a while of sitting on the porch, you felt a chill creeping up your arms and started to shiver. You pulled your sleeves down as far as they could go, and tried not to let the wind bite. But of course JJ noticed.

“Ready to go inside?” JJ asked. You glanced in the window where everyone was congregating around the TV now. You had just started to feel okay, and all of them apologizing would probably have you burst into tears again. You shook your head.

“Not really.” JJ tilted his head, then stood up, extending his arms to you.

“Okay, guess we’re staying warm the old fashioned way then.” You didn’t know what he was talking about. You rarely did. You didn’t ask, and just let him pull you up. He led you to the hammock where dove right in and pulled you in after him. You sat your book in your lap, not wanting it to get dirty anywhere else. You nuzzled your face into his neck and let his warmth spread to you as he wrapped his arms around your torso. 

“We’re going to celebrate properly tomorrow,” he whispered. You just nodded your head, suddenly feeling tired from the events of the day. You kicked your shoes off onto the ground and let your heavy eyes close. JJ hugged you tighter and shut his eyes too. “Happy birthday.”

[beapeas]

Hurricane

JJ Maybank x Routledge! Reader

Word Count: 2k

Summary: You are absolutley terrified of hurricanes, and you're home alone for one for the first time. John B calls in a favor from his best friend to help put your mind at ease.

It was the harsh winds whipping against your bedroom window that woke you up that day. You knew it was coming, you’d been tracking the storm for days. You checked your phone to see a text from your boss. Closing the marina, no work today. That’s never a good sign. You had always been terrified of hurricanes, ever since you were little. It was a fairly normal part of life in the Outer Banks, but you never felt used to it. The pouring rain, the storm surge, the floods. All things you hated about living right on the coast. The fear of losing everything- even in minor storms, scared the shit out of you. You were an anxious child in general, but hurricanes made everything worse. 

Now that you weren’t a little girl anymore, you tried to conceal these fears. It was ever so slightly embarrassing. Surely your friends would make fun of you relentlessly if they knew you were scared of a little wind and water. But your brother was well aware of this part of you, which is why it was no surprise that he called you. You rolled over in your bed and accepted the call.

“What’s up JB?” He had been in Charleston with Sarah for the weekend. He should be on his way home by now.

“Hey, sis, I hate to do this, but I won’t be able to make it back today.” You could hear Sarah shuffling around in the background, probably still at the hotel at this hour. You felt a pang of anxiety strike through your chest. Having a hurricane was one thing, but being home alone for one? That was something you’d never done before. Something you never intended on doing either. John B must have sensed your silence. “I know you hate storms, but the weather is just getting too bad for us to drive home. It’s already pouring over here, and our windshield is still cracked, so that’s not really an option.” You felt stupid for how scared you felt. You tried to push it down, but to no avail. You took a deep breath, and another, trying to suppress the panic attack you knew was coming.

“Okay,” is all you could manage to say. It’s not like you could demand he risk his safety to come coddle you during the storm. But John B, ever the planner, was prepared.

“JJ’s out filling sandbags, he’ll be over soon.” Fantastic. You were fond of JJ, really, in fact that was precisely why you didn’t want him to come over. Why you didn’t want him to see you as the mess you’d surely become when the storm really picks up. As your brother’s childhood best friend, JJ was a part of the family. Which is why you had spent most of your life hiding your big fat crush that you had on him. The sound of Sarah’s voice calling John B’s name dragged you out of your thoughts. “I gotta go. I’ll call you later. Love you,”

“Love you too,” you said back. But he had already hung up. With a huff, you stood up and got straight to hurricane prep. Luckily, your anxiety translated to fantastic responsibility. You had already boarded the windows, gotten groceries, charged all electronics and power banks, and replaced batteries in your flashlights which you had out and ready. Next you made your way outside to prep the boat. 

The temperature was quickly dropping outside. Suddenly, your sweatpants and T-shirt wasn’t enough, and you wished you had stopped to put on shoes. You wished you had put your hair up too, as it blew all around you and obstructed your vision constantly. But there were things to do, so you pressed on. You made sure the boat was tied securely to the dock, and covered it with a tarp secured by bungee cords. You doubted that would do much to keep the water out, but it kept you busy. That’s what mattered.

The rain had just started to fall as you finished up outside. You started to walk back up the dock when you saw JJ pushing a wheelbarrow full of sandbags.

“Where’d you get that thing?” You shouted over the wind. He just flashed you his signature smile as you walked up to him.

“Found it outside someone’s house.” He laughed, you smacked his arm.

“JJ that belonged to someone,” You half-scolded him.

“Relax, they’ll think the wind blew it away,” he parked the wheel barrow outside your front door and started placing the sandbags.

The next few hours were pretty normal. You made lunch while JJ plopped on the couch and watched whatever was on TV. Every once and a while you made him switch to the news channel to get the weather updates. Every hour the eye of the storm inched closer, the winds grew louder, and the rain pelted against the chateau harder. You tried to contain your growing anxiety, not wanting JJ to see. But he always saw. He was sprawled across the couch, half asleep. You were sitting on the floor, back to the couch, with your eyes glued to the screen. Your legs bounced against the floor as you continued to take deep breaths. The weather woman reported the same information as a few minutes ago, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. Then you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“You don’t have to be scared,” he said, his voice low and sleepy. You just shook your head.

“I’m not scared.” You continued staring forward at the TV, but JJ’s hand didn’t move.

“Sweetheart, you’re vibrating the whole room.” His hand moved down to your leg, stilling your shaking.

“I don’t like hurricanes.” You simply stated. JJ chuckled.

“I know. John B filled me in.”

“Oh god, how much did he tell you?” You could tell by his smirk that John B had told him quite a bit.

“Well, I know that the last one made you puke” He laughed again, and your face fell forward into your hand. You pretended that the way he looked at you didn’t make your heart flutter. He probably looked at everyone like that. The two of you sat in silence for a while, the only sounds were the rain, the wind, and the TV. JJ’s arm on your legs was the only thing grounding you as your mind started to spiral. You were determined not to let him see it. And then, silence.

The TV shut off, the lights went out, and the hum of all your appliances had ceased. No power. Amazing. JJ’s head popped up, mostly checking for your reaction. But you didn’t have one, at least not visibly. Then, JJ picked up the flashlight that you had handed him hours earlier. He turned it on and held it to his chin, making funny faces at you. You laughed for a moment, but the rattling of the house quickly stole your attention. Your anxiety was only rising, but you didn’t want JJ to see.

“I’m just gonna try to go to bed,” you announce, standing up. JJ turns onto his side, watching you. It wasn’t actually that late, but the sky was so dark you could’ve been fooled.

“Okay,” he pulls the blanket on the couch over himself. “I’ll be here if you need me.” He promptly closes his eyes, and dozes off in record time. You speed through brushing your teeth and taking your anxiety medicine. You doubled your dose actually. Not doctor recommended, but probably necessary. You climbed right into bed in the same clothes you woke up in and pulled the blankets up just a little higher than usual. And then, you laid there.

In the dark, there was nothing to do but listen to the noises outside. How the trees swayed, the rain hit your boarded-up window, the wind carried debris around the air and crashed it into your house. According to what the weather woman said, the worst was coming any minute now. So, you waited. Your breathing picked up, starting to match the gusts outside. A tear slipped down your face, which you quickly swiped away. It was just a storm. You were safe. Everything was fine. But no matter how much you told yourself that, the heaviness in your chest refused to go away.

Then, there was a crash right against your wall. Maybe a tree fell, maybe JJ’s new wheelbarrow went flying. Whatever it was, it sent you running out of your room on pure instinct. You didn’t even realize that you had gotten out of bed until you saw JJ shooting up on the couch.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, searching you for any obvious signs of danger. Instead, he found you, staring at the ground with tears running down your face. He threw his blanket to the side and crossed the room, rubbing his hands down your arms. “Hey, it’s okay. This is the worst of it. It’ll pass through soon.” His voice was low and gentle, enough to make you dizzy under normal circumstances. You just nodded your head slowly. 

Another loud noise had you jumping and had JJ pulling you into his chest. You wrap your arms around his waist and hide your face in his chest. You focused on your breathing, trying to stop the shaking that was starting to take over. JJ slowly walked the two of you backward, eventually laying back down on the couch. You stood above him for a moment, hesitating. JJ held his arms out.

“Come’re,” He grabbed your hand and pulled you forward. You gave in and laid down on top of him, curling into his side. JJ pulled the blanket back over the two of you and rested an arm on your back. The two of you had shared beds and couches a million times over the course of your friendship. But this felt different. You pretended not to notice how his skin heated up against yours. He pretended not to notice how you clutched his shirt.

The storm didn’t quiet down outside. The noises didn’t fade and the lights didn’t turn back on. But the storm in your mind faded. You focused on the beating of JJ’s heart under your ear. He rubbed your back as your breathing slowed. Eventually, the both of you drifted off. Before either of you would wake up, the storm would subside. Your anxiety would be back to normal levels and JJ would be a normal distance away from you. But for now, you two were comfortable.

[beapeas]

Flying Cars part 2

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Part One

Word Count: 1k

Summary: Recovering from your injury is easier with good company

The next few days were all a blur. You remember the car pinning you to the ground and Bucky freeing you. You remember him carrying you to the jet, then nothing for a while. A hospital room, a surgeon, some flowers. The pain medicine made it hard to keep track of it all. A few days or maybe a week later, you were back in your own bed without a whole lot of memories from anything after the mission. The team rotated in and out of your room, bringing food or changing your dressing or just keeping you company. It was like they assigned a different person to you every day. Except Bucky. He was always there.

The first week back you spent mostly sleeping. Your leg hurt most of the time so there wasn’t much else you wanted to do. You were honestly too scared to look at it after last time. The image never left your head. It took a metal rod and many hours to reconstruct your femur, and now it was time for your body to do the rest and heal itself. You knew it was a long road ahead but luckily, Bucky was there.

The first day, Bucky brought you dinner and helped you eat it, even though the rest of your body was mostly fine. You mentioned how boring bedrest was, so the next day, he brought you a stack of his books to read. When you were too tired to read them, he sat in the arm chair near your bed and read them to you. You appreciated the company, even though you were sure he just felt bad. Maybe he blamed himself because he was the only one there when it happened. You didn’t mention it.

He never stopped showing up, though. A week in, you were just waking up as you saw him in your closet, taking your hamper with him to the washer and drier across the hall. You pretended to still be asleep. Later that day, you were propped up watching a movie when he returned with your clean clothes. He just smiled at you, then silently went about putting your clothes away into your dresser. You appreciated it, you really did, but now you were starting to feel bad for him.

“You don’t have to do that, you know.” You simply stated. He just shrugged, back still to you.

“I want to.” He went back to his work, and you decided not to push him.

“Whatever floats your boat, Buck.”

To their credit, the rest of the team spent their fair share of time in your room. One day, Sam brought the two of you lunch so you could have your own little picnic from the comfort of your bed. You mentioned that the details of the mission were kind of hazy for you, so he did a dramatic retelling. You gave him some extra details too, the ones he wasn’t there to see. When you mentioned that Bucky lifted the car off of you, Sam’s eyes lit up.

“God, he’s so down bad,” That caught your attention.

“What?” You cocked your head at Sam, shocked. Sam just laughed.

“You really didn’t know? You should have seen him that day. When you were knocked out he would not let go of you. I tried to take you from him, but he wouldn’t let me,” Sam sat back with an unreadable face. Something between horrified by that day and amused by Bucky’s infatuation.

Later that day, Nat came by to help you wash your hair. You laid on your bathroom counter top while she did your hair in the sink. You couldn’t shower for another week, so this would have to do. You told her about your conversation with Sam, and she corroborated everything he said. You believed it more now, but still needed to hear it from him.

Luckily, you wouldn’t have to wait long, as Bucky was the one to bring your dinner that night. It was soup that you could tell was from the can, but he gets points for presentation. He brought it in on a little tray with a spoon and a napkin, and your water bottle which he refilled with the perfect amount of ice. How he always knew what you wanted was a mystery to you. As soon as he handed you your meal and made sure you had everything you needed, he got right back up.

“Enjoy,” he said as he turned to leave. You almost let him, but you just couldn’t.

“Wait-” you said. He stopped in his tracks. “Can you stay?” Your voice came out quieter than you expected. But he nodded and silently sat down into the chair that has basically become his own. “I never got to thank you,” You started, taking a sip of your soup.

“I was just doing my job,” he shrugged it off.

“Not just in the field. You’ve been here every day since. You’re making bed rest almost tolerable.” You smiled at Bucky, and he returned it. But he didn’t say anything. “You know, I never thought you liked me very much.” You went on, still slurping your dinner between phrases.

“That’s not true,” he countered softly. You chuckled.

“So I hear,” You hoped you’d get more of a reaction out of Bucky from that, but he just stared at his feet. So you took a different approach. You ‘dropped’ your spoon onto the ground, and he shot up to retrieve it. You set your food on your nightstand and grabbed his hand as he reached for the spoon, and pulled him towards you. He gazed down at you for a moment with a face that was not just questioning, but intrigued. Then, before you could second guess yourself, you leaned in and kissed him.

He froze for a moment, then leaned into you and brought his hands up to cup your face. You didn’t move until you absolutely had to come up for air. Your head flopped forward to rest on his shoulder and you could feel him smiling into your hair.

“That was even better than I thought,” He whispered. You laughed.

“You know, there’s plenty of room in here,” You hinted, patting the other side of your bed. Bucky let go of you to pull his boots off and drop his jacket on the ground. He crawled into your bed next to you and pulled you into his chest. “I only have a week left of bedrest, you should just stay here the whole time.” You tease. He plants a kiss on your forehead,

“Don’t tempt me with a good time,”

[beapeas]

Flying Cars

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Part Two

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: You didn't think Bucky liked you, but after you're injured on a mission, you find out that wasn't the case.

This mission had dragged on forever. The whole team was going into hour two of a shoot-out with some crazy rebel group that was hellbent on anarchy. You guys split up a while ago, trying to divide and conquer this mess. You started by evacuating the civilians in the area, then started taking these guys down. There were a lot of them, and they were smart. They had some strange technology that Stark was already collecting the rubble of to take back to the lab and reverse engineer. Shattered glass lined the street, it would be a nightmare to clean up. You had set up camp with your gear in a parking garage, grateful for the concrete structure to block out some of the noise from the fight. You were really more of an engineer, fighting was still new to you.

The battle was getting better, slowly but surely. It was only month six of you being an Avenger, but you felt very much so part of the team. Sam brought you on, after working closely with you in the Air Force for years. He was your best friend. So when he introduced you to everyone else, it just clicked. Except for one person. Bucky.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like you or you didn’t like him, he was just slow to warm up to you. You didn’t take it personally, it just was just his nature. Although, after so long, you started to wonder. You tried not to think about it. But as you watched him fight opposite to you, the doubts crept in. He was the only one near you after everyone took their positions. It was obvious that you and Bucky could have cleared the block way faster if you were working together, but he wasn’t interested in that idea. So you took your spot a yard away from him and he turned his back to you. He never glanced back to check on you, laser focused on the fight in front of you. You weren’t sure why you wanted him to. You got so wrapped up in your own thoughts that you nearly forgot where you were until you heard the staticy voice of someone in your comms.

“Watch out, they have some weird blasty things now!” Sam shouted. Your face scrunched in confusion.

“Sam, what the hell does that mean?” You ask. Before he could tell you, a car blasted right through the cement walls of your little hideout. You tried to dodge, but the bumper caught your leg and slammed you right against the opposite wall. So, that’s what a weird blasty thing does. You didn’t try to move at first. Your head hurt, the room was spinning, and there was no one around. Well, no one but Bucky. You could have yelled for him, but you decided not to bother him. You didn’t think you could handle his icy gaze and his painful indifference right now. So you started to sit up. That plan didn’t work out, as you quickly realized the car was still on your leg. Just looking at it was enough to make you nauseous. Then you felt it. A few thousand pounds of metal all leaning on your femur. Searing pain dug so far into your leg you swear you felt your bone shatter in that moment.

“I need help,” You frantically announced to the comms.

“Where’s Bucky?” Steve asks. You look around, though your field of vision is limited. You hear his boots pounding on the pavement, then he falls to his knees beside you.

“I’m right here,” he assures. It might have been the first time he looked you in the eye in weeks. To your surprise, his eyes linger on you as he pushes a sweaty strand of hair out of your face.

“Bucky it hurts,” you confess. He knits his eyebrows together in concern and surveys the situation.

“I know, I know. Let me get this thing off of you.” You nod as he moves over to the car. You throw an arm over your eyes, not wanting Bucky to see your tears. He slowly lifts the car off of you, sure not to crush you any more as he tosses it to the side. In an instant, he’s back kneeling by your head. “Okay, we’re gonna go back to the jet now. Let’s sit up okay?” You nod again, words escaping you as you focus on your breathing. Bucky maneuvers to be sitting behind you and holds onto your shoulders as you slowly sit up. You’re shocked by his gentleness, you wish he always acted like this with you. Of course, not in this exact situation. 

Once you’re fully up, you can see your leg clearly. It’s black and blue and there's blood and even a little white thing. Bone sticking out.

“Oh god,” you mutter, throwing a hand over your mouth, trying not to throw up. “Holy shit,” you mumble to yourself again. Bucky places his hand on your chin to turn your head to face him.

“Hey, don’t look at that. Just look at me, okay?” You bite your lip, trying to distract yourself from the pain. Bucky’s arms wrap around your back, and very gently under your knees. His arm by your leg makes you flinch and he loosens his grip right away. “I know it’s going to hurt, but we gotta get you back to the jet.” You stare into his eyes, blinking back tears. 

“Okay,” you reply, giving him permission to move you. He picks you up and stands in one swift motion. It felt like knives were going straight through your leg. You refused to look at it, grasping Bucky’s vest for dear life instead. The fight outside must have died down, because you hadn’t heard any more shouting or shots fired. He starts walking slowly, which still makes you flinch with each step. The jet isn’t far, but it sure felt like it. You buried your face into Bucky’s chest and finally let yourself cry. He held you closer to him as he started to run. 

You wanted to say something, make this feel less awkward, but you couldn’t find any words. Your sole focus was on the pain, silently begging for it to stop. You’ve been injured before, but not like this. Your leg had very nearly snapped in half and you felt like you were dying. 

“Buck-” you rasped. His head snapped down, eyes locking with yours.

“What? What do you need?” He asks gently.

“Morphine,” you half joked. He smirked, just a little, before focusing his eyes back on the road ahead of him.

“We’re almost to the jet. Then the doctors at the compound will give you all the drugs you want.” A small smile tugged at your lips, both entertained by Bucky and excited at the prospect of pain medicine. 

“Can you keep talking?” You ask him.

“‘Bout what?”

“Anything. Just need distractions.”

“Okay,” he began. “When Sam brought up the idea of adding someone to the team, I was the first person to vote against it.” Oh this is nice, you thought. “I had finally settled into this new life, so I didn’t really want anything to change. But I was out-voted. Then you came along, and I couldn’t imagine why you were best friends with Sam,” You chuckled lightly. “He’s a huge ass and you were such a bright presence. I thought for sure I’d bring that down right away, so I’ve kept my distance.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” You tried to sound sarcastic, but you probably just sounded like you were dying.

“Well, I’m glad you're here.” He still didn’t look down to make eye contact with you, but you could feel that his words were genuine. Your heart fluttered a little bit, but all of your senses were being drowned in the agony of your injury.

“Me too,” is all you managed in response. He went quiet after that. Your head felt heavier and your vision started to blur. You didn’t fight it, you wanted to stop feeling for a while. 

Bucky made it to the jet only moments after you passed out on him. He sat down with you still in his arms and let everyone else swarm the two of you.

“What happened?” Sam demanded, hovering right over you. He wiped a tear from your cheek, wincing at the sight of your mangled femur.

“A car landed on her leg, she passed out from the pain just a few minutes ago. She was up and talking though, so I think everything else is okay,” Sam nods slowly as everyone else takes their seats. Steve, Natasha, Tony, Bruce, and Thor, all stare at you with pity and mild horror. Sam stays nearby as the jet starts to take off.

“Want me to take her?” He asks Bucky. “That looks pretty uncomfortable.” Bucky’s shoulded are pulled together tightly, and his legs are balanced perfectly so you can lay as comfortably as possible. He shakes his head, eyes not leaving your face.

“Don’t wanna wake her up right now,” he mumbled. “She was in so much pain.” Sam nodded in response and took the seat next to them instead. Even when you were out cold, your hands still clutched his clothes tightly. Bucky sat stroking your hair, hoping you would find some comfort even in your unconscious state. Steve and Nat exchange a look. They’d been waiting on Bucky to finally face his feelings for you. Maybe today wouldn’t be that day, but this is certainly the closest he’s ever been.

[beapeas]

Cat's out of the bag

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Summary: A scary mission leads to you accidently exposing your secret relationship with Bucky

It was getting harder to hide your relationship with Bucky. Not that it was a big important secret, but only Steve knew. You just didn’t want your relationship to mess with the team dynamic. Plus, sneaking around was kinda fun. It added some much needed excitement to your life. The morning of your guy’s mission, you woke up extra early before the rest of the team. You gently grabbed Bucky’s arm and pulled it off of your waist, rolling out of his bed. He grumbled quietly at your movement. You gathered your clothes that were scattered around the floor. Once you were dressed, Bucky rolled over to face you. You leaned down to meet him for a kiss.

“I’ll see you soon,” you assure him before speeding back down the hallway. Steve is already up sipping his coffee at the kitchen table. You nod his way, and he softly chuckles as you scurry to your room. You slowly get your suit on, braid your hair back, and make your way back into the kitchen, boots in hand. Steve’s still there, now sitting with Bucky and Natasha. The rest of the team is milling about, getting breakfast or preparing their gear. Bucky glances up at you and you try not to blush. As you crouch down to lace up your boots, Tony waltzes in, making a grand entrance in his usual fashion.

“Wheels up in 30 minutes people!” He motions for everyone to wrap up whatever they’re doing.

***

The mission was at an abandoned weapons manufacuring facility from the cold war. Intel had shown recent activity in the building, rogue agents building their own weapons to sell. You guys split up to canvas the area, your goal to take out any equiptement and arrest all assailents. You took the ground floor, everyone else heading upstairs. There wasn’t a whole lot going on down there. No heat signatures or traces of people to be seen. Others started to report the same thing. You started to worry you guys walked right into a trap.

You heard a creak in the metal beams that lined the building. A shuffling overhead. Your eyes scanned up and down the walls, searching for any sign of trouble. There was nothing. Bile was rising in your throat. Something was seriously wrong. You nearly jumped when you heard Steve’s voice falter in your coms.

“There's explosives in the basement. This foundation isn’t holding up. Everyone get out now.” And then silence. The a whirring sound. You looked all around you. Sam was circling over your head.

“Hey Sam!” You shout towards him. He met your eyes, awaiting further instruction. “Can you see Bucky from up there?” Sam spins around himself, looking in all directions. 

“Sorry, I don’t see anyone. Must be on the next floor.” With that, he kept flying away. You wracked your brain trying to remember which direction Bucky went. He should be running out of the building by now, like Steve told everyone to. You start to hear small booms coming from below. Steve’s voice blairs through your earpiece again.

“Guys get out now! The building is going to collapse!” Then, rumbling. Sam was already gone. You looked around again, but you couldn’t ignore the shaking that continued to grow. You sprinted towards the exit and prayed that Bucky had done the same.

You just make it before bricks start falling in bunches, staring in horror as the roof caves in. Dust and rubble clouded the air as you started running again, searching for the others. Apparently, you were on the opposite side of the building from everyone else. You spot Tony and Bruce and Nat, who were standing around discussing their next move. You’re whipping your head around, trying not to freak out when you run right into Steve. There’s a deep pit in your stomach when you don’t see Bucky with him. Steve grabs you by your shoulders, stabilizing you.

“Where- where’s Bucky?” You feel like you might throw up.

“He went to look for you,” Steve said. You should’ve been relieved by that, but you needed to lay eyes on him before you could breathe. You turn around, pulling out of Steve’s grip. You’re about to start running again when you see him. His eyes darted around, just as panicked as you. Then your eyes meet. You run to him at full force, your body slamming into his. But you don’t fall back. He wraps his arms around you and buries his head in the crook of your neck. You breathed in his scent, sweat and smoke and all. 

“Scared me,” you muttered into his hair.

“I know. But I’m okay. We’re okay.” He lifted his head up and cupped a hand on your cheek, pushing your stray hairs back with the other. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, feeling more at peace. Until you heard the others.

“What the hell?” Tony muttered. You and Bucky were in a bubble, you didn’t even notice everyone staring. Steve took this chance to get everyone’s attention.

“Alright, Fury says we’re good to go. Everyone back to the jet.” The team slowly filed back to the jet, you and Bucky trailing behind. 

***

No one said anything about what they saw. Not at first. Bucky’s stone cold expression deterred any prying eyes. Everyone just sat down and strapped in, ready to go home. You sat down by Bucky like always. The ride wasn’t long, but your adrenaline was wearing off and you were struggling to keep your eyes open. You had hardly noticed you were falling asleep, until your head was on Bucky’s shoulder and you were out cold. Everyone turned to stare at you two. Bucky kept his head down, not in the mood to deal with all that.

“Hey Buck?” Steve whispered loud enough for everyone to hear, but not loud enough to wake you up.

“Yeah Steve?” 

“I think the cat’s out of the bag.”

“Thanks Steve.” Bucky quietly chuckled, finally giving in. He rested his hand on your leg and kept his eyes on the floor. He wanted to enjoy this peaceful moment.

[beapeas]

Fic Recs

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[beapeas]

Talk To Me

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Work Count: 1.7k

Summary: You make a quick choice on a mission that leads to Bucky giving you the silent treatement

It was stupid. You knew it was stupid at the moment, too, but you did it anyway. You guys were chasing two ex-Hydra agents through the City. The goal was to capture them, get their intel, and turn them over to the government. You found the first one pretty quickly. She had to be about your age. She looked worn down, hungry, and desperate. Not like a criminal. The second you corner her, she pleads with you.

“Please, don’t take me.” She was on her knees, sobbing. You just stood and stared. Your job was to take her in. No room for negotiation. Your hand flew to the gun strapped to your hip when she reached into her pocket, but you stopped when you saw her pull out a paper. A photograph. “I have a son,” She showed you the picture. It was her and a baby, no more than six months old. They had the same eyes. “I’m not dangerous anymore,” She cried. “I just want to get back to my boy.” You sighed, weighing your options. There would be consequences for this, but you couldn’t live with yourself if you tore a family apart. 

“Go.” You stepped aside. She got up. “Please don’t let us find you again.” With that, she ran away.

The rest of the Avengers were far less understanding than you hoped. When you made it to the rendezvous point empty-handed, everyone was furious.

“You let her go?” Tony shouted. You explained exactly what happened. Her desperation, her baby. 

“That was not your decision to make.” Steve declared. You turned to Bucky. Surely your boyfriend would defend you. You were severely mistaken. His jaw was set tight, eyebrows knit together.

“You let a HYDRA agent walk free?” His voice was quiet. Not angry, but hurt. You didn’t think about how this would affect Bucky. How HYDRA agents took everything from him, and you just let one get away with it.

“I’m sorry, but I- I couldn’t not think about the kid.” You stumbled, trying to explain.

“His mother made her choice. It’s not our burden to bear.” Steve’s disappointment was palpable as he motioned for everyone to get into the jet. You followed silently, defeated. The flight back to the compound was quiet, but not insufferable. It’s when you and Bucky got back to your shared apartment that things went south.

He was silent. Way too silent. He went through his usual post-mission routine like you weren’t there. He showered alone. He ordered himself dinner. He looked right past you. You found him on the couch, eating his takeout.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I shouldn’t let my feelings cloud my judgment like that.” You might as well have been talking to the wall. He stared into his cup of noodles like he couldn’t even hear you. Okay, so he needed some space. You went about your night quietly, alone. It was sad, but it wasn’t the end of the world. You watched TV in bed, leaving the living room for Bucky to have to himself. When the sun went down, he climbed into bed next to you. You sighed with relief, hoping he was ready to go back to normal. That hope was shattered when he pulled the covers up high and turned his back to you. You simply turned off the TV and tried to get some sleep.

The next morning, you thought surely he was done shunning you. He got some rest, got some space, and hopefully he’d be ready to talk. His side of the bed was empty, but that was normal. He always gets up before you. You find him in the corner of the kitchen, reading the newspaper and sipping on coffee. 

“Morning, honey,” You mumble groggily. You go to the counter for your mug of coffee that Bucky always makes for you. It isn’t there. You glance over to him, but his eyes are on the paper. Ouch. You decide to skip breakfast and spare yourself this silent torture. Instead, you change into workout clothes and go to the tower to train. You tell Bucky where you’re going. He doesn’t respond.

Steve is the only one in the gym this early. You’re thankful for that.

“Mornin’,” He nods at you as you open the door. You return a smile. Steve must have noticed how fake it was. “I feel like I was a little harsh on you yesterday,” he began. You stopped, turning towards him. “You were showing compassion. We shouldn’t punish you for that.” He said. You didn’t realize how heavy the team's reaction was weighing on you until you felt a tear drip down your cheek. You wipe it away as quickly as it comes.

“Bucky won’t talk to me, or even look at me.” You confess. “I don’t know what to do.” You thought Steve, of all people, might be able to help you. He rubs the back of his neck.

“I’m sure he’s feeling conflicted. Give him time, you know he can’t stay mad at you.” His words should have been reassuring, but they weren't. You’ve had fights before, but you always talked it out right away. He never shut you out like this. Steve left the gym just as you got started, leaving you alone. You trained hard, trying to shut your brain off. Nat came in to spar with you. You joined Sam on a run. You stayed in the shower until the water ran cold.

When you returned home, Bucky was gone. No notes left behind. You panicked. You didn’t know if he was coming home. You call Steve, not knowing what else to do. He answers right away, but you don’t give him a chance to speak.

“Is Bucky with you?” You tried not to sound too desperate.

“Yes.” He replied. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Do- do you know if he’s coming home tonight?” It was already past dinner time. He never stayed out late. 

“I believe so.” Steve’s voice was even and calm. You needed that.

“Okay. Thank you, Steve.” You hung up. You tried to keep your day going. Made dinner. Did the laundry. Cleaned the kitchen and the bathrooms. Eventually, you ran out of things to do, and you sat on the couch, waiting for Bucky to come home. 

He was back by nine. The second you heard the door click open, you jumped up off the couch to greet him. If Steve had forgiven you, Bucky should now, too, right? Wrong. He made a beeline for your bedroom

“Did you eat? Dinner’s in the fridge.” You tried to reach him, but he was already in your room. You gave him time to get ready for bed alone, then you joined him in your bed silently. He turned his back to you again.

The next day was largely the same. You pleaded with him to talk to you. To say anything. To no avail. He spent most of the day at Steve’s, and you stayed up, waiting for him. He came in quietly that night, and you had already fallen asleep on the couch. He didn’t wake you up. He let you sleep there, alone.

On the fifth day of silence, you were losing hope. You sat on the couch waiting for him like you had every night. But tonight, your heart was cracking wide open. You sat facing the door, leg bouncing uncontrollably. Was this ever going to end? Did he even still love you? You didn’t know. You knew you messed up, but damn. Did you really deserve all of this? It was all too much. A tear dropped. Then another. They didn’t stop. Not until the door opened minutes later did you stop to breathe. Bucky stepped inside and started for your room. You jumped up from the couch and got in front of him. You didn’t want to bother him any more than you already had, but you needed to ask one question.

“Bucky, I know that you’re mad, and you’re not really talking to me right now, but I just need to know.” You stifle a sob and choke it back down. “Do I- do I need to start looking for my own apartment?” A jagged breath escaped your lips, and for the first time in days, Bucky looked at you. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He took in your state. Your red, puffy eyes, the bite marks on your bottom lip. Your shaking hands and wobbling legs. Did he do this? Then you started crying again. You had prepared yourself for the worst, but suddenly you couldn’t take it anymore. Bucky panicked for a moment, like he had forgotten how to speak. And then he did.

“No,” He said it like he had no idea why you would ask such a question. “I need you here.” His voice was sincere, but you just couldn’t believe it.

“Is that what I’m supposed to think? You leave all day and don’t tell me where you’re going. You won’t touch me, talk to me, or even look at me. I could’ve left days ago, and you probably wouldn’t even have noticed,” The thought took the breath out of your lungs. You forgot how to live without him. He seemed perfectly fine without you. You asked the question you were most scared of. “Do you still love me?” You bit your lip in anticipation. He flinched like you had hit him.

“Of course I still love you,” He stepped towards you, but stopped there. He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. Then, he took another step and engulfed you in a hug. You wrapped your arms around his back and let your head fall into his chest. He kissed your head. “You probably did the right thing,” He whispered into your hair. “I just saw a woman from Hydra. And you treated her like any other person.” He paused. 

“I’m sorry, Buck.”

“You don’t have to be. Tony looked into it. She hasn’t been an active agent in years. She’s not a threat.”

“But don’t you what justice?”

“Not if it destroys a family. Hell, I was so worried about that I almost destroyed my own. I’m sorry, Doll.”

“Does that mean you’re done ignoring me?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“And next time you’ll just talk to me?”

“Next time you let a convicted criminal roam free?” He gave you an amused look, but you weren’t amused. He picked up on that and moved on. “Yes, I’ll talk to you.”

“Good. Then let’s go to bed.”

[beapeas]

Want to take that back?

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Summary: After a mission with Hydra, Bucky pushes you away. It takes a broken mug and a trail of blood for him to come find you again.

Bucky wasn’t your boyfriend, not technically. But he sure did act like it. He brought you coffee every morning as an excuse to talk to you first thing. He was a private and unaffectionate person, but he opened up to you.

He let you steal his clothes and fell asleep in your bed. He was quietly protective of you at all times. You loved working with him because he was always around, but hated working with him because of how scary your job could be. 

Today there was a particularly tense mission. Whenever Hydra was involved, things got messy. You begged Bucky to sit this one out, for his own well being. He refused. Like he had something to prove. Maybe to himself, maybe to Hydra, but he wasn’t backing down.

Shield had received intel that Hydra had built some kind of bioweapon. All you had to do was get in and retrieve it. Simple enough. It went about exactly as expected. You created a distraction for their security forces, infiltrated the lab, got the weapon, and fought your way out. Easy is a strong word, but it wasn’t too difficult. 

When Bucky went quiet on the jet ride home, you knew something was wrong. His face hardened to stone and his jaw clenched. You studied his demeanor, trying to figure him out. He avoided your gaze. You chose not to say anything right away. To wait until you two had some privacy to ask what he was thinking. He never gave you the chance, though.

The second the team touched down, he was marching away to his room. Steve and Natasha filed off the jet in front of you, unintentionally cutting you off from Bucky.

“Bucky,” you tried calling to him, but he didn't respond. You were hot on his tail as he reached the elevator. You jogged to catch him, and stuck your arm in to stop the doors from closing. Bucky’s eyes were trained on his feet when you stepped in.

"You gonna talk to me?” You asked. Once again, no response. “That’s okay, I can do the talking.” You looked Bucky up and down, once again checking for any obvious injuries. His suit was dirty, his hair was sweaty, but he looked okay. You knew not to prod. You decided to focus on something else. “After today everyone will probably be pretty tired and go to bed early, which means you could sneak into my room early, which means you can finally watch-”

The elevator dinged as the door opened to your floor. Bucky walked right past you without acknowledgement. Steve and Natasha must have taken the stairs, because they stood in the hallway, watching as Bucky pushed past you. They said nothing, staring with quiet discomfort.

You were so stunned you didn’t even realize that you were still in the elevator. You pushed the open button as it threatened to close, and followed Bucky once more. He made a bee-line for his bedroom, the one that he barely spent any time in anymore.

"Can you say something?” You pried, voice never raising. Bucky stopped in his tracks and turned around.

“I’m going to shower.” His voice was low and even, almost suspiciously so. You nodded slowly, taking note of his tired eyes.

“Okay, I'll bring you some tea.” You take a step back towards the kitchen but don’t make it anywhere before Bucky cuts back in.

“No. ‘I’m going to shower’ means leave me alone.” His once steady tone was now cold and sharp. His eyes burned into your head as you turned on your heel and headed for your room across the hall.

You walked past Nat and Steve, who clearly stopped whispering the second you were in earshot. You forced yourself to walk away and maintain some dignity, no matter how badly you wanted to run.

You decided to shower as well, but it was far from relaxing. All you could think about was Bucky. Something at the Hydra facility clearly hit a nerve. It’s exactly what you thought would happen. The very reason you asked him to take the day off.

Although you knew his bad mood had nothing to do with you, his words still stung. You kept telling yourself that he didn’t mean it. To give him space. So you did. You got dressed in sweatpants and your favorite hoodie that at one point had belonged to Bucky.

You spent the rest of the day in your room watching movies, leaving only for food. You kept kitchen trips to a minimum though, after Steve gave you such a pitiful look on your first outing. You assumed you’d hear from Bucky soon enough. You waited for a text or a knock on the door. You waited all night. You didn’t even realize that you were falling asleep until you woke up the next morning.

You checked your phone. Nothing from Bucky. No hot coffee on your night stand and no soldier sitting at the foot of your bed. And even as your heart sank, you told yourself he was just dealing with stuff right now. You decided to send him a simple text.

“You awake?”

You didn’t wait for a response. You mosied on out to the kitchen in your pajama shorts and that old hoodie. Maybe he’d be out there. He wasn’t. Steve and Tony stood on opposite sides of the kitchen, quietly chatting over a cup of coffee. As you walked into their view, Tony gestured towards the coffee pot.

“There’s plenty left if you want some,” he offered. You smiled and nodded in return. Your response had Steve studying you. You were one of the chattier Avengers, and silence was an unusual response from you. You poured yourself a mug of coffee and joined Steve on his side of the kitchen island. 

“Have you heard from Bucky?” You quietly asked him. He shook his head.

“Uh, no. I don’t think he’s left his room.” You frowned at Steve’s answer. Whenever Bucky was on lockdown like this, he wouldn’t leave for anything, including basic human needs like food and water.

After last time, you stashed some protein bars and water bottles in his night stand. That was almost a year ago. You hoped he remembered they were there. Instead of staying to chat with Steve, you filled a second mug with coffee, and went to Bucky’s room. 

You would’ve knocked, but your hands were full. So instead, you used your elbow to turn the knob and let yourself in.

“Hey Buck,” You softly let him know you were there. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, back to the door. “I brought you some coffee.” You crossed his room to set one of the mugs on his dresser. He looked up and finally met your eyes.

You didn’t see your usual Bucky who was quiet, but who calmed under your gaze. You saw a less familiar man with an icy stare and a rigid posture. His hand shook ever so slightly at his side.

“What’s wrong, Bucky?” You finally ask. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. He stood up and stepped in front of you in one swift movement.

“I thought I told you to leave me alone.” He spat. You suddenly felt so small.

“I- I know, I just wanted to check on you.” You held your mug with both hands, close to your chest.

“Why? You’re not my girlfriend.” He sneered. That one stung. You were frightened, shocked, gutted, and about every other negative emotion out there. 

“I know that,” Is all you could say.

“Do you?” His face never changed. He didn’t cringe when your bottom lip wobbled or when you took a step back. As tears pricked at your eyes, your mug of coffee slipped out of your hand and crashed into the floor.

Desperate for an excuse to evade his stare, you knelt down and started picking up the pieces. You shoveled small ceramic shards into your hand so quickly that one sliced your palm right open. You gasped at the pain and dropped the broken mug back onto the floor, grasping your now bloody hand in the other. Without meeting Bucky’s eyes again, you stood up and turned to the door.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you,” you muttered as you ran out of his room. You rushed past the kitchen and based on Steve and Tony’s look, they heard everything. You didn’t have time to stop though, blood from your hand was beginning to drip all over the place and you just wanted to hide in your bathroom and lick your wounds alone.

Unfortunately for you, Steve wouldn’t let that happen. He had quietly followed you back through your room and into the bathroom, where he found you sitting on the side of the bathtub pressing a towel to your hand.

Tears were streaming down your face when Steve took the towel from you to examine your head. You tried to look at what he was doing, but you could hardly see through the tears. You only heard him rustle through your cabinets and pull out a small tub. Your first aid stash. It comes in handy after missions when you don’t feel like visiting the med bay, or when you cut your hand on a broken mug. He cleaned your hand and wrapped it in gauze while you silently tried to calm yourself down.

It worked, kind of. Steve wasn’t going to talk first. He wasn’t here to get in your business, just to make sure you were safe. After all, you did leave a trail of blood all the way to your room. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.

“Don’t be.” He assured you, still knelt in front of you. 

“I just really thought-” you couldn’t say it out loud. That you thought Bucky could’ve loved you. It sounded so stupid now. But you didn’t have to say it.

“I know. I did too.” That comment from Steve got you going again and you leaned forward, crying into his shoulder. You were so confused and humiliated. 

When you had finally cried it all out, you thanked Steve and sent him back to whatever he was doing before you distracted him. You felt bad for bothering him, but you were glad he was there.

You traded your pajamas in for some clothes that had significantly less blood and coffee on them. You turned on the TV, desperate for a distraction from everything that had happened in the past two days. You didn’t wait for a knock on the door today. But there was one. You barely sat up, unsure if the soft raps were real.

“Steve?” You questioned as the door creaked open. To your shock, it was Bucky. Yesterday he would have been a welcome visitor but today, you sank further into your blankets at the sight of him. “What do you want?” You asked. He winced like you had punched him in the face. Not angry, just hurt.

“Just to talk,” he took a step into your room, closing the door behind him. “If you’ll let me.” He stood back, awaiting permission to fully enter your space. You sat up in your bed, pushing the blankets off of you. Bucky just stared.

“Fine.” You gestured towards your bed. Bucky carefully approached you, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. He studied your face. Your red, puffy eyes, the dark circles under them. Your bandaged hand that you seemed afraid to move. You weren’t wearing his hoodie anymore. That stung. He almost forgot that he had something to say, until he saw your expectant eyes waiting for you to start.

“I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I should’ve listened to you and not gone to Hydra, but I just wanted to know that I could.” His voice was low, steady.

"We got there and it just took me back. I saw the people I worked for and how horrible they are. And I remembered that I’m no better than them. How could someone like me be good for someone like you?” He looked defeated. Your eyes softened at his admission.

“So I don’t know, I shut you out. It was mean, I know. I figured better to get it over with so you can move on to bigger and better things. But then you were crying, and your blood was on my floor. I can’t be the one hurting you.” He sucked in air like he was holding his breath that whole time. Maybe you were too.

“Bucky, you are nothing like the people at Hydra. You know that,”

“I know, it just- doesn’t feel that way.” He sighed. You sat in silence for a moment.

“Well, I’ll be damned if I sit here and let you decide what's good for me. I know what’s good for me. It’s you.”

“Really?” Is all he could say. 

“Yes, really. I love you Bucky. I don’t need you to be perfect, I just need you.” Just as you finished talking, Bucky crawled over to your side of the bed and pulled you into a slow, deliberate kiss. You didn’t protest. It wasn’t until you finally came up for air that you asked, “remember when you said I’m not your girlfriend?” Bucky winced. “Want to take that back?” You proposed. He nodded his head, never letting go of you.

“Absolutley.”

[beapeas]

Loathing

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2k

Summary: You joined the Avengers at Sam's recommendation and Bucky immediatly despises you. You just can't figure out why.

Being best friends with Sam Wilson meant you heard a lot about the Avengers. From the day that he first met Steve Rogers, to when he joined the team and beyond. He talked a big game about them, so when he reached out to you with an offer to join, you couldn’t turn it down. You and Sam were in the Air Force together. He became like your brother. Eventually, you kind of just followed him everywhere he went. You got out of  the military only a year after him, and started helping out with his veteran support group. About a year after he joined the Avengers, you were in with them too.

Everyone on the team took really quickly to you. You’d heard so much about everyone previously, so you felt like you already knew them. Steve and Natasha became close friends of yours. She was thrilled when Sam told her that your parents are from Moscow and she would have another Russian speaker on the team. There was one person, though, that didn’t warm up to you quite like everyone else. The person Sam told you so much about, and the one you were most excited to forge a relationship with. Bucky.

From the very beginning, he seemed to loathe you. You didn't understand why. At first you thought he just needed some extra time. You shook everyone’s hands upon meeting for the first time and Bucky stood back, arms crossed against his chest. No big deal, you just needed to build the trust. So you were nice to him, but sure not to smother him either. You never mentioned your Russian background around him for fear of bringing up some unpleasant memories. You always greeted him with a smile, he returned a scowl. You left enough coffee in the pot for him every morning, he dumped it out in the sink. He left every room you walked into.

You kept dismissing it. Steve would tell you he’s just antisocial, he has a lot going on, it has nothing to do with you. And you believed him for a while. But it didn’t stop. You were paired up for sparring during training one day. He looked you in the eyes, cold as ever, then turned to Steve.

“I feel a migraine coming on. I’m going to leave.” He said in a completely flat tone. Such an obvious lie. Steve just nodded. It was your second month of training with everyone and now you were the only one left without a partner. You had to shadow box while everyone else actually fought. You felt like an idiot. And it didn’t just stop there. 

On your first mission together, he refused to communicate with you in any way. You were fully getting shot at, and you called for backup. No backup came. Bucky had thrown out his earpiece at the first sound of your voice. It was a miracle you made it out unscathed. You weren’t put on another mission together after that. You started avoiding each other altogether. It got to a point where you barely saw him, and when you did, you pretended not to. As much as it bothered you, it was easier that way.

The worst part was watching him interact with everyone else. From afar, you'd see him joking around with Steve and Sam. His smile was infectious, but it fell the second you walked into his view. Everyone saw it. It was obvious that whatever his problem was, it had something to do with you.

You wanted to corner him and ask him what his problem was. But it was easier to ask Sam. You asked Sam almost every night, but he was just in the dark as you. Even when Sam pried Bucky for answer, all he got was an "I don't know what you're talking about." So you just avoided him.

You could have gone forever without talking to him, but there were always going to be team commitments that involved everyone. That included briefing meetings. You were the last one to arrive at this one, everyone else was already seated around the table, quietly chatting while Tony sorted through a stack of files at the front of the room. The only seat left was between Sam and Bucky. You glanced at Sam, who nodded his head towards the chair. He had saved the spot for you. Bucky must not have considered that when he sat down. You tentatively approached the chair, pulling it out and taking a seat. That’s when Bucky sent you his signature death-glare.

“You’re not going to run away this time, are you?” You quipped, only half joking. Sam softly chuckled and Nat smiled, placing a hand over her mouth to cover her grin. Steve was too busy watching for Bucky’s reaction to acknowledge you. Then Bucky said something.

It was quiet and barely there, but you heard it. Under his breath, he muttered in Russian, “I wish you never came here.”  You froze every so briefly, feeling like someone punched you in the gut. He’s been mean to you for months. You’ve put up with it. But for some reason, this is what got you. His words were cold and sharp and spoken in the language of your warm, loving parents. A language he didn’t know you spoke. Even worse. You couldn’t let him see you crack, so you got up. Everyone stared as you rushed out of the conference room and made a bee-line for the elevator. But at least Bucky was looking at you now.

You found yourself in the gym, beating a punching bag that you wished was Bucky. You thought if you hit hard enough, the tears would stop from streaming down your face. It didn’t. Soon your crying completely impaired your vision and you slid down against the wall, boxing gloves abandoned on the ground. You buried your face in your hands and cried. 

It could’ve been five minutes or it could’ve been thirty by the time Sam found you there. He looked at you concerned, then he knelt by your side, hands on your shoulders. He heard Bucky speaking Russian. He saw your face when you heard it. He didn’t know what Bucky said, but he could make a pretty good guess. You sniffled, trying to collect yourself. With Sam searching your eyes for an answer, you felt pathetic. 

“Bucky’s such a dick,” You began. “Sam, why does he hate me?” You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. “I- I didn’t do anything to him, I don’t understand.” You sniffled again. Sam saw red. He’s been watching his friend torment you for months with sly comments and dirty looks. You took it in stride most of the time, sending a quip back and laughing it off. But now you were crying and Sam was actually considering fighting a super soldier.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back.” Is all Sam said before he marched out of the room. It was only a couple of minutes before he returned, dragging Bucky by the arm. Bucky was clearly annoyed and confused, but he wasn’t fighting it. Sam never would have been able to move him if he did. Bucky’s confusion only grew when he saw you on the floor, a stray tear running down your cheek. Sam pushed him towards you and demanded he sat down across from you. Bucky complied. You stared at Bucky, searching his face for answers. Why did he treat you like such garbage? You had to know. 

“You want to tell me why you’re whispering mean shit at her during the briefing?" Sam prodded, standing over Bucky. Bucky turned to you. He took in your state, curled up against the wall and crying. For a moment, he almost looked sorry.

“What are you talking about?” He asked. There he goes denying everything again, you thought. You were too busy trying to figure him out to respond. Sam glared at Bucky, both of the men clearly agitated. You couldn’t keep silent any longer.

“I speak Russian.” You cut him off. You stared at him, lips tightly sealed. His expression was unreadable. His eyebrows knit together while his eyes danced over your face, as if he had a thousand unanswered questions and just maybe, he felt an ounce of remorse. “You’d know that if you ever talked to me. It’s not a secret.” You simply stated. You stared back at him, waiting for him to say something. He didn’t. You could see the gears turning in his head, but you just didn’t know what he was thinking. “You know, before I joined the team, Sam told me a lot about you. He said we would be really good friends. I was really looking forward to that.” You confessed.

“Are you from Russia?" His question confused you almost as much as his tone. It was purely curious. Zero venom. You shook your head. “And you’re like what, 28? 29?” He raised his eyebrows, awaiting a response.

“27. I’m from Brooklyn. Just like you. Where are you going with this?” Your breath had mostly steadied and the tears had fully stopped by now. You felt like you were watching Bucky piece together a puzzle, but there were still some pieces missing.

“There was this woman back in Russia. She looked just like you.” At this statement, everything started to make sense. You could tell Sam was getting it too, he remained in his spot right behind Bucky with his mouth wide open.

“She worked for Hydra, didn’t she?” You finished his thought for him. He nodded his head.

“She gave me a lot of injections. Painful ones. I never knew what they were.” He trailed off for a moment, and the three of you sat in heavy silence. “I guess that’s why I haven’t been very friendly. I look at you and I just see her.” He stumbled through his admission and waited for you to say something. Unfriendly was an understatement on his part, but you felt a little relieved. He didn’t hate you. He just hated your mother. You sat up straighter and looked up at Sam, who looked just about as horrified as you felt. Then you turned back to Bucky, who was still waiting for you to say something, twiddling his thumbs.

“That was my mom.” You stated, simply. Bucky’s jaw dropped, and your heart broke a little more when he backed away from you instinctively. You hurried to explain the rest of the story, hoping it could bring Bucky some sort of peace. “My parents are from Moscow. They were brilliant scientists at the height of the cold war. Hydra wanted to hire them, but they said no.” You paused for a moment, but Bucky’s almost desperate look kept you going. “You know Hydra. They didn’t take no for an answer. They held my parents captive and forced them to work for them.” You were scared of what Bucky would think of you after this. Very few people knew about this part of your life. It wasn’t your life, really. It all happened before you were even born. “I promise she didn’t want to hurt you, Bucky. They were going to kill her.” You saw Bucky suck in a deep breath, slowly nodding his head. “They fled to the U.S. eventually. They haven’t been back since. I’ve never even been to Russia, they probably have a bounty on my head out there,” You finished your monologue, silently begging Bucky to say something.

“Well, that makes two of us.” He remarks. You gave him a small tentative smile, which only made him feel worse. There you were, being nice to him again, when he had been anything but. “You look just like her,” You nodded in return.

“I get that a lot.” You sighed and gazed up at Sam who was staring right back, far less tense than he was before. You turn back to the man in front of you. “Bucky, I had no idea she had anything to do with the Winter Soldier. If I did, I don’t know, I would’ve said something.” You don’t know what you possibly could’ve said if you had known, or what you should say now. Bucky must’ve been able to tell.

“It’s not your fault.” His voice was soft in a way you’ve never heard before. Not directed at you anyways. “And it’s nice to know I’m not going crazy,” he laughed. Sam took a step closer to Bucky and kicked him in the back. Bucky grunted. “And I’m sorry,”

“And you’re going to stop being a dick.” Sam added.

“And I’m going to try to stop being a dick,” Bucky appended. Sam stood back, satisfied. You gave Bucky half a smile.

“Good.” You watched as Bucky stood up and extended his hand to you. You took it and allowed him to pull you up. He smiled at you. You returned it.

“And while we’re on the topic, you don’t secretly speak any other languages, do you?” You two headed for the door, which Sam held open.

“I speak four languages.” You told him. His eyes widened.

“What are the other two?” He asked. You shrugged.

“You’ll have to find that out on your own.” You followed Bucky out the door and Sam trailed behind. Bucky turned his head to Sam, looking for help.

“Oh, I’m not telling.” Sam slapped his hand on your shoulder and rested it there, smiling with you. Finally, something to hold over Bucky’s head. The three of you got in the elevator and for the first time, you felt like you could breathe.