Beau the Dorky Baker

I'm just a dorky former teacher that plays video games and ttrpgs online. following my dreams of being a baker Oh! Also, I am VERY queer 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ they/them

[projectorthus]

Not lovers or friends but a secret third thing (they play Catan together and Stratt pretends she's not preparing Grace for a one way trip to space)

[innumerable-voices]

If there are any minors following me remember don't talk to cops, vandalism is cool, and your body is YOUR body so do what the fuck you want with it

[innumerable-voices]

Paint pens are a couple bucks or just put them in your pocket and walk out because shoplifting is cool too

It's always morally correct to deface advertisements but please be respectful of other peoples art

The anarchy symbol or trans symbols are always good but really it's about reminding people in power that we live here too

[innumerable-voices]

All rules can be put into two groups; don't touch the hot stove and don't walk on the grass

For the first group the consequences of your actions are real, they're directly related to your action. These rules can be broken only if you accept the risk first, maybe you want a burnt hand idk you do you

For the second group the consequences are imagined and enforced by authority, they aren't directly related to your actions people in power just want you to think they are. You should break these rules as often as you can get away with

"You are the gender you were coercively assigned at birth" is in the second group

[innumerable-voices]

I say "if" but I know for a fact there are minors following me

You wont catch me trying to deprive a vulnerable group of people of community

[innumerable-voices]

Calvin's dad: listening to pirated music? I'll show you something interesting.

All rules can be put into two groups; those that have a real consequence and those that have a manufactured consequence enforced by an authority, right?

Calvin: yeah...

Calvin's dad: don't pirate music? Manufactured. Don't touch the hotplate? Real. Don't walk on the grass? Manufactured. Don't climb into the tigers enclosure? Real.

Despite appearing to have real consequences "don't self harm" is actually manufactured

[maryreadings]

obsessed with this silly tiger

[scramratz]

Sketchin my peenids for this transmasc zine I’m submitting to, do you think tumblr will let me post it?

[scramratz]

We fixin to find out

[scramratz]

Really pushing Tumblrs buttons by posting the finished version

[scramratz]

7 thousand people have seen an artistic rendering of my benis

[obimomkenobi-deactivated2020062]

[kitchikishangout]

MY NAME, IS FRICKIN MOON MOON. I’D BE THE MOST IDIOTIC WOLF. ‘OH SHIT WHO BROUGHT FUCKING MOON MOON ALONG?’

[amusette]

the post that started it all

[star-spangled-jackass]

oh god

[danthefrickinking-deactivated20]

Never not reblogging.

[clarinetfool]

I’ve only seen this post in screenshots

[salamencerobot]

I’m very surprised this post hasn’t broken a million.

[briarwulf]

I laminated a paper towel

[sookybrat-deactivated20221020]

why does this have 31 thousand notes

[glitterorgy]

You made it useless but also prevented it from the end it was predestined for.

[heckyeah-horseshoecrabs]

But wait this is actually freaking me out though, it raises so many questions about the otherwise incomprehensible meaning of life as a collective whole versus personal sustenance and longevity

Imagine if one day you were given a choice: Become immortal and indestructible for eternity, unable to be harmed by anything ever again, and get to live forever.

However, in order to achieve that you must give up whatever your purpose in life is. Whatever it is that you were always meant to do, what you were supposed to contribute to the overall scheme and future of the life of the universe, your purpose… the whole reason you were even created, even born in the first place. You must give that up. You don’t know what that is. You’ll never know; But, regardless, you say yes.

Perhaps you assume you wouldn’t have made any sort of significant difference anyway. That butterfly effect theory or whatever they call it? Nah, you call bullshit. It doesn’t matter - you don’t matter, at least not to anything outside of your immediate connections - and it’ll all be fine, and you’ll just live forever with minimal (or maybe even no) consequences.

So, yay! You’re now immortal. You’ll never die or get hurt ever again. Wee!

But then, centuries and centuries later (not to mention that by this point you’ve gone through horrible heartbreak and misery and despair because every loved one you ever had, every friend you ever made, ever person you barely got to know, has passed away, died as you lived on long without them, helpless to do anything for them as you watched them perish, unable to ever go with them or ever see them again. But I digress), now, you learn you actually were important in the grand scheme of things. You were supposed to be a key factor in the world’s survival, long ago; but, because of the choice you made (immortality over individual purpose), you were never given the knowledge or awareness or resources or ability to save the world that you were always supposed to obtain, before you unknowingly made the wrongest choice to ever wrong.

Needless to say, you’ve fucked up big time.

The entire universe as we know it is destroyed soon after this horrifying revelation. It implodes, collapses in on itself, essentially forming a massive black hole or something. Stars, nebulae, galaxies, solar systems and planets, worlds and worlds of living people and things, and light-years of time and space and life, all sucked up into absolute, indefinite nothingness.

But you remain.

Just you. Floating amongst, spiraling around, rocketing through, suspended in… nothing. With a feeling of such unbelievable loneliness that your feeble brain can hardly perceive, can’t possibly hope to comprehend. Not only are you the only living thing left, you don’t even have one inanimate object to keep you company. You have literally. Nothing. And you are literally nowhere. I mean, technically, you are now the universe - if it would bring you petty comfort to think about it that way. You. Only you. With nothing, no one, nowhere. Forever. And ever. And ever.

All because you thought you didn’t matter. That you had no real, meaningful purpose. That you could never possibly make a difference.

But you did. And now look what you’ve gotten yourself into, you silly nugget. You’re gonna be pretty bored and lonely for that eternity, huh?

Or maybe it was out of selfishness. Maybe this wasn’t because you felt useless, but because you simply only cared about prolonging your own life and nothing else. Hm.

The moral here? Be selfless, and always know and remember that you matter.

Or else, one day, you might destroy the universe. And be left to suffer, and be tortured horribly and endlessly by the void of nothingness that has consumed you. With no way to escape. Ever.

Other moral because I got sidetracked from my initial point - all things considered, would you choose longevity over purpose? Immortality over meaning? 

OR, IDK, MAYBE SOME IDIOT JUST LAMINATED A STUPID PIECE OF PAPER TOWEL FOR NO GOOD REASON

AND MAYBE I SHOULDNT BE LOOKING FOR THE ANSWERS TO THE MEANING OF OUR SHORT, FRAGILE LIVES IN

A LAMINATED

PAPER

T OW E L

IDK MAN,

I D K

[bluejinxx]

Write. A. Book.

[heckyeah-horseshoecrabs]

What if I did write a book

and the pages of that book

were made out of

laminated

paper towels

[roman-rory-fallen-angel]

I WASNT GONNA REBLOG UNTIL THAT LAST COMMENT

[strongermonster]

perhaps some will disagree, but i think the world got worse when we changed the colour of the night

[strongermonster]

this is what i mean

[degenderates]

Via @bulbaderp

[itistimetodisappear]

To be clear, THIS is how nights of the future should be lit

This is bat friendly street lighting, which not only looks sick as fuck but allows bats to pass through without disturbance, as they cannot see red.

orange and especially white lights deter bats and prevent them from reaching feeding grounds at nighttime. Please if you can, write to your local council and encourage red street lights!!!!

[anarchistmemedistro]

ALSO! red light doesn’t fuck up human night vision much so you can go in and out of lit areas without readjusting

[anarchistmemedistro]

[thicque]

the red light not fucking up human night vision is also why a number of older cars had gauges that lit up red at night

[b0ggyb1tch]

i legit miss red lights in cars and appliances n stuff. red city lighting is goated

[themurderscene-deactivated20140]

and if you turn to ur left you’ll see the emos

[rnyselfie]

is that my chemical romance?

[penceyprepster-deactivated20160]

OH MY GOD not every group of emos is my chemical romance stfu tumblr

[chxmical-rxmance]

but it actually is my chemical romance

[losered]

this is the funniest fuckibg thing I’ve ever seen

[gay-emo-quotes]

I’ve…. seen this everywhere except on Tumblr itself. It’s the blessed post.

[tilthat]

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

[beggars-opera]

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

[ti-bae-rius]

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

[ti-bae-rius]

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

[porkue-deactivated20240304]

Him: "yeah arch that back for me baby"

My back-pain having ass trying my best:

[orcboxer]

Things that work in fiction but not real life

torture getting reliable information out of people

knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour

jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact

calling the police to deescalate a situation

rafting your way off a desert island

correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes

effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else

ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences

heterosexual cowboy

[orcboxer]

This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.

[20thcenturystarlet]

New York City ballet production of Midsummer Nights Dream

[thepeelingrenoir]

The fact this isn't a painting is a testament to one of the greatest feats of set design and production I've ever seen.

[thepeelingrenoir]

My god just look at this! The lighting, set design, photography... I've just never seen anything like it.

[jammerific]

I think this is the first time I've ever been wowed by "this ISN'T a painting"!

[writeranon69]

Don't Fall for this scam.

Transgender community, please please please do NOT use this product! It will kill you if used, please do not use it whatsoever.

Please reblog and spread the word

[were--ralph]

this is dated 2023 for those without stamps on

[cassolotl]

A poll for Firefox users

I use up-to-date Firefox and I have used the AI kill switch

I use up-to-date Firefox and I have turned off some AI features but not all

I use up-to-date Firefox and I have not turned off any AI features

I use up-to-date Firefox and didn't know you could turn off AI features

I use an older version of Firefox with no AI features

I don't use Firefox

Voting ended onJun 21

[cassolotl]

For Firefox users who weren't aware of the AI kill switch, type about:preferences#ai into the address bar, and you should see this:

[cassolotl]

Under eight hours left on this poll! And probably the most voted-on poll I've ever posted, somehow??

[transstuffandmore]

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

[bees-and-voids-deactivated20210]

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

[drax-the-vampire-king]

Ive said it before and ill say it again all kind people are welcome here.

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

If you don’t support nonbinary people, then get the fuck away from my blog

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Besides it’d be really weird if I didn’t support nonbinary people considering that I’m agender

[inkskinned]

oh, i am finally old enough to know why my parents took so long to grab their coats. why they would ask us to get ready to go only to sit down for another round of coffee. what would i tell myself, at 10 years old? it’s okay. sit down with them too. take in the extra hour with your friend and her family. when you get home, write down every moment in your diary. one day you will be older and you will be waving goodbye to your best friend, and you will turn the key to start your beat up little car engine, and you will look back over your shoulder. her hair will be blowing in the wind and she will be beautiful and you will be, for a moment, struck by all of it. what you will feel is so wide and nameless that it will engulf you. and you will think of being 14 and kicking her under the table in math every time you wanted to whisper something behind the teacher’s back. you will think about how long the days felt, and how you could hold her hand whenever you wished, but you didn’t. and you will think about all of the people you could have lingered with. and you will wish, more than you have ever felt a wish, that the universe just gave you that - more time to linger. more time to say - i love you. i know i need to leave, but i don’t want to leave you. and when i go, i am leaving a piece of my heart that lingers too. 

one more round of coffee. the days are so short, and you are so lovely.

[lunamonchtuna]

— Mikko Harvey, from For M (via lunamonchtuna)

[uncleromeo]

if you don't do anything else today,

Please have a moment of silence for the people who were killed instead of freed when news of emancipation finally reached the furthest corners of the american south.

have another moment for the ledgers, catalogs, and records that were burned and the homes that were destroyed to hide the presence of very much alive and still enslaved people on dozens of plantations and homesteads across the south for decades after emancipation.

and have a third moment for those who were hunted and killed while fleeing the south to find safety across the border, overseas, in the north and to the west.

black people. light a candle, write a note to those who have passed telling them what you have achieved in spite of the racist and intolerant conditions of this world, feel the warmth of the flame under your hand, say a prayer of rememberance if you are religious, place the note under the candle, and then blow it out.

if you have children, sit them down and tell them anything you know about the life of oldest black person you've ever met. it doesn't have to be your own family. tell them what you know about what life was like for us in the days, years, decades after emancipation. if you don't know much, look it up and learn about it together.

This is Juneteenth.

white people CAN interact with this post. share it, spread it.