Beautifully Borderlined

I'm Shannon and this is my new Blog. Here I write about my life. My anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, my fathers death, my boyfriend, my friends, my life.

[westieronto]

How most people with invisible illnesses are treated by health care “professionals”

[thefemcritique]

The Golden Girls didn’t fuck around

[pardonmewhileipanic]

pls watch

honestly i really appreciated this scene when I first saw it bc it took me like two years to get a diagnosis for what’s wrong with me

[mttheww]

Dorothy:  Dr. Budd?

Dr. Budd:  Yes?

Dorothy:  You probably don’t remember me, but you told me I wasn’t sick.  Do you remember?  You told me I was just getting old.

Dr. Budd:  I’m sorry, I really don’t–

Dorothy:  Remember.  Maybe you’re getting old.  That’s a little joke.  Well, I tell you, Dr. Budd, I really am sick.  I have chronic fatigue syndrome.  That is a real illness.  You can check with the Center for Disease Control.

Dr. Budd:  Huh.  Well, I’m sorry about that.

Dorothy:  Well, I’m glad!  At least I know I have something.

Dr. Budd:  I’m sure.  Well, nice seeing you.

Dorothy:  Not so fast.  There are some things I have to say.  There are a lot of things that I have to say.  Words can’t express what I have to say.  [tearing up]  What I went through, what you put me through—I can’t do this in a restaurant.

Dr. Budd:  Good!

Dorothy:  But I will!

Dr. Budd’s date:  Louis, who is this person?

Dr. Budd:  Look, Miss–

Dorothy:  Sit.  I sat for you long enough.  Dr. Budd, I came to you sick—sick and scared—and you dismissed me.  You didn’t have the answer, and instead of saying “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” you made me feel crazy, like I had made it all up.  You dismissed me!  You made me feel like a child, a fool, a neurotic who was wasting your precious time.  Is that your caring profession?  Is that healing?  No one deserves that kind of treatment, Dr. Budd, no one.  I suspect had I been a man, I might have been taken a bit more seriously, and not told to go to a hairdresser.

Dr. Budd:  Look, I am not going to sit here anymore–

Dr. Budd’s date:  Shut up, Louis.

Dorothy:  I don’t know where you doctors lose your humanity, but you lose it.  You know, if all of you, at the beginning of your careers, could get very sick and very scared for a while, you’d probably learn more from that than anything else.  You’d better start listening to your patients.  They need to be heard.  They need caring.  They need compassion.  They need attending to.  You know, someday, Dr. Budd, you’re gonna be on the other side of the table, and as angry as I am, and as angry as I always will be, I still wish you a better doctor than you were to me.

[jennytrout]

Reblogging for any of my mutuals who’ve ever dealt with Dr. Budd.

[unnonexistence]

chronic pain

note: this is ok to reblog, even if you don’t experience chronic pain!

[chronic-illness-resources]

do not redistribute without credit.  sorry about the formatting & typos, but I wanted to share the PPT / brief literature review I’ve put together in case it can help any other chronic pain patients affected by the CDC guidelines. feel free to share privately with doctors or other medical professionals, just don’t repost without crediting me, please. I’ve worked hard on gathering all the information presented here. the names of people who have committed suicide due to opioid reductions is not a complete list by any means; I just can’t bring myself to keep up with how many people we’re losing every day. the information presented on dependency and addiction is meant to refute claims that opiates frequently lead to addiction in chronic pain patients, it is not meant to be used to vilify or shame addicts. transcription & image descriptions under the cut, it is very long. 

Keep reading

[howwesurviveishowwegetby]

@chronicillnessmemes something important for the community to distribute.

[queenofbraces]

That chronically ill young person feel when you see someone twice your age (or more) and wish you had their stamina/energy.

[bpd--daisy-blog]

I feel like something people don’t acknowledge enough is how much chronic fatigue hurts. Like feeling so tired that you wish you’d just collapse already, just so you can rest. Praying you’ll collapse. So tired that you want to cry, because you feel desperate to feel anything else. So tired it feels like your bones are scraping against each other and every step you take is agony. Every moment you’re awake is torture, absolute torture. You’d give anything to not feel this, anything, anything. It’s not just tiredness, it’s not sleepiness, it’s excruciatingly painful. And it’s so, so hard to live with.

[beautifullyborderline11]

bpd issue #46

Me: god I'm so sensitive, why do I feel everything x1000

Also, me: tHE ONLY EMOTION I FEEL IS RAGE!!!

Somehow still, also me: I have never felt any emotions ever. I am stone cold. I could watch the world burn and not give one solitary fuck—

[beautifullyborderline11]

Grief seems to be a pretty common thing in my life lately. Grieving my father, grieving the person I used to be before my different chronic illnesses. It just seems constant.

I graduate in 27 days. In 27 days I will walk across a stage while my name is called...and my dad won’t be there. 

My dad wasn’t able to attend my high school graduation due to his illness, but he sat at home crying and texting me through out the entire ceremony. Now I will be the one crying. 

When my dad passed in March of 2015, I wasn’t sure when I would go back to school. I had so much else on my mind that I didn’t care. Now here I am just over two years past that and I will be graduating with my associate’s degree. I would give anything for my dad to be here. To hear his voice, to hug him one last time. I want to hear that he is proud of me. I want him to be happy with what I’ve done with my life so far. 

I just miss him so fucking much. 

[cwote]

Let yourself feel.

Thanks for the inspiration @kindersuggestion :)

[cwote]

Relax, you will be okay.

Inspired by @lightheartedsuggestion 

[cryptid-cryptic]

Inner me wins

[bpd-issues]

I’ve gotta say man, that Borderline Rage™ is like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. It’s all consuming, blinding, and honestly so strong it’s like I become another person

[bipolar-in-boots-deactivated201]

google search: how to handle situations without planning your own suicide

[oh-my-sassy-buttons-deactivated]

Please eat. Please don't hurt yourself in anyway. Please get some sleep. You are enough you are loved you can make it. Please. I believe in you.

[anna-kendrickarchive]

[beautifullyborderline11]

There is a fire burning inside of me. I get nauseous every time I see someone on the streets. What happened? It's mental health, it's drug addiction, its alcoholism, its financial problems. One thing is for sure: no one wanted that. This isn't the life they imagined. I've met a lot of them. I always hear the same thing. "This isn't what I wanted from my life. This isn't life." What are we doing to help these people? People are fighting and tearing each other apart over who to vote for when there are people on the streets who need our attention. No one is concerned until it's in their backyard. It's always been here. This happens from Seattle out to New York but now it's moving out to the suburbs and local neighborhoods. When are we going to step up and figure out something to help these people? Not just hand them a hot meal and go about your day feeling proud that you helped someone. A generation of love and activism must be born. I'm hopeful that one day I can make a difference. But I can't do it alone.

[beautifullyborderline11]

Botox for Migraines!

Yesterday I was approved for Botox injections for my migraines. I've been suffering from migraines since I was 10 years old. Over the years they've increased and after many medication trials I was finally told Botox could help me. I had my round of injections today. 32 shots in my face, side of head, neck, and shoulders. I'm not going to lie. It hurt. I may have shed a couple tears. I'm not saying this to discourage anyone from getting Botox. I've heard miracle stories and am hopeful. However I want people to informed and prepared if they decide to try Botox. You'll fee like a human pin cushion. The shots in my face and the left side of my head really weren't too bad. At first it was more just the shock of having needles stuck in my face. However when we move to the right side of my head is when I started getting some pain. One nerve or muscle but they try to pinpoint was extremely painful. I was able to finish the injections however there was a point I had to lay back down because I almost passed out from a mixture of anxiety and the fact that when they put the needle in you can sometimes feel the pop and hear the crunching of the needle going through the muscle. I will remind you though that the needle they use is extremely small I'd say only about a half an inch if that. So far I'm doing pretty good. When I came home I was pretty tired so I took a nap and I woke up with some pretty bad muscle stiffness and pain in my neck. However I took some ibuprofen and put some ice on it and it is feeling a little bit better. I was informed that this is a common side effect and should wear off within a couple days. I am hopeful that this will help me with my migraines and even though today was uncomfortable experience I am sure it is much better than being stuck with constant migraines.

[beautifullyborderline11]

Gone

Well it’s done. I have now lost almost 8+ family members. They get their wish. They never treated me like family nor wanted me. I am adult with a lot of shit going on. I don’t need their drama bringing me down 

“ I can't keep up with your turning tables Under your thumb I can't breathe So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me, No, I won't rescue you to just desert me I can't give you the heart you think you gave me It's time to say goodbye to turning tables Turning tables Next time I'll be braver I'll be my own savior When the thunder calls for me Next time I'll be braver I'll be my own savior Standing on my own two feet “

Adele