Bebeffin for President 2028 @bebeffin - Tumblr Blog

FINALLY FUCKING HOME AFTER 16 HOURS OF TRAVELLING OUGHHHHHHHH- BED HAS MEVER FELT THIS GOOD. GOODNIGHT HOMIES

TW: Intense anxiety spiral, self-loathing, paranoia(? Ehhhh... more just severe anxiety), the usual shit. Read at your own risk.

I really, really, really want to take a shower. I want good water pressure and more than a piddling amount of shampoo. I just want to be clean; to scrub and scrub and scrub and scrub til my skin is red and raw; til the top layer of skin has been replaced. I hate being dirty. I hate being perceived. I wish I could be a soapy hermit, nestled nicely in an oak tub, deep within the trees.

In the meantime though, I wish I could curl up- folding my atoms together, dense and tight, into a cube that could be shoved into a piece of luggage. So I could be shoved away, away from others' senses. Away from humanity. I know it's an obsession, it wracks my brain every passing day and night. I rarely go out anymore, because being an inconvenience is far fucking worse than being a bore.

God, I'm so embarrassed, so mortified, I feel absolutely abhorred. Christ, I think would rather be, literally fucking gored. Well, maybe that's an exaggeration, just a bit, maybe slightly more- but still- I feel fucking disgusting, sludge covered whore. I'm sorry to all the people who I've sat near today, I'm sorry, so deeply sorry, for this nasty little play. I feel so bad and gross, I hear it in my head. When I walk past, garbled speech is interlaced with paranoia in its stead.

So hyperaware of everything around me, but unable to parse the words. I let the anticipation ferment- rot- into curds. And that rotten, chunky slurry is stirred and stirred and stirred. It's poured out into my body, filling me up from my toes- slowly slopping on top until it, ironically, hits my nose. It continues to sit, to ferment like weeks old shit. Taking up its residency til I call it quits. Granted, that's just the mental illness talking, it's done my internal wiring and caulking. So take it with a grain of salt. All my meandering in this squawking...

All that being said, the message that is reverberating through my head is simply this:

I desperately need to be clean and to smell like nothing more than soap.

imviotrash

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

the-haiku-bot

“Kill them with kindness”

Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*

🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

bulbekuggeleh

This opens up a lot of possibilities for what a haiku can be

grayzahk

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ 𖣯・ imagine slow dancing with your f/o…

𖣯・ their left hand softly gripping your hip while their right is intertwined with yours, slowly stepping with you to the rhythm of the slow, soothing music…

𖣯・ imagine them giving you a small little twirl, or, vice versa, you giving them a small little twirl, adding a bit of playfulness to a affectionate, romantic dance…

𖣯・ imagine them resting their head on your shoulder, or you resting your head on theirs, savoring this moment and relishing in the time you two are spending together…

𖣯・ imagine them humming along to the melody playing in the background with their eyes closed and putting a soft smile on display…

𖣯・ you two simply cherish each other so much, the feeling of vulnerability and comfort comes easier to the both of you with each and every step of this heartfelt waltz…

▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ 𖣯・ proship/darkship please do not interact.

Nothing is worse than getting off a long flight to only have to get on a train knowing you smell bad bc you're on a long ass haul with no clean clothes half bc of a disgusting washer (the clothes that go into my bf's washing machine always come out smelling hrrrf).

I hate taking up space and attention, and this is like the worst mundane way of doing that aaaaaaaaaaa

I feel so gross and I hate it

#vent #embarrassed as hell #sorry everyone

wajb

ragebaiting lemonade stand owner with one simple order

I've got a sleeper build-? That's cuz I nap all day.

a-adashino

I'm bedridden rn

So imagine when you're having trouble getting out of bed, your f/o does little stuff to help you, like bringing you water, and if they can, they'll just stay in bed with you.

I may sound incoherent rn i'm kinda out of it atm sorry

I am grateful that I have the privilege of having a decent salary- else i wouldn't have been able to commission a large Nui plush of my beloved Sada 🥹

(I love supporting small artists raaaahhhhh ✊✊✊)

Anyways, obligatory screenshot (well, photo, FU Crunchyroll >:[ ) of my favorite evil middle-aged mannnnnnn ❤️