* / love is gone @bejaeyoung - Tumblr Blog

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helloooo everyone, i'm back! and hopefully, this time i can properly get things going. sorry for disappearing all of a sudden, i’ve had a crazy schedule that burned out most of my writing inspo but i’m trying to get back into the swing of things!

this is a not-so-brief update masterpost and plot call for all my muses: @bejaeyoung, @beyuwol, @beclaudine and @beseonghan! under the cut i have noted down how my muses are doing currently, because they’ve been around in the wannabeverse for a while and have gone through significant changes! i’ll also be listing a few new and fresh connections that you’re free to nab or potential dynamics/thread ideas that can be explored with existing connections! these are more character-driven ideas!

please like this post if you’re interested in plotting with my muses! let me know if you have other ideas too! i’ll still be kind of slow, so thank you in advance for your patience with me 🫶

#( ooc. )#/ talked so much and for what? lol

besiwoo

take my half // starter for @bejaeyoung

time isn't exactly something that's always boded well with siwoo. a topic that's sensitive to him, because of his inability to run from it - and siwoo, in his own words, had always been a marathon runner. and yet now, he's realized just how precious time is.

he feels as though he's had no time to himself at all, no time to breathe. while their debut hadn't been amazingly received (in siwoo's standards) by the public, they'd done well enough to garner the attention of some; siwoo appearing on a few variety shows, bagging himself a three-month long ambassadorship with adidas, and the boys appearing on music shows.

when they aren't on music shows, their faces are shoved in the faces of cameras, being told to film their web-variety, pose for the camera, and what not. and when cameras aren't shoved into their faces, they're practicing for comebacks and performances.

siwoo has found that time is scarce. so much so, that he's been struggling with sending jay his daily messages filled with selfies - he doesn't completely ignore his boyfriend, of course not! jay lives in the back of his mind, and siwoo is in constant worry about what jay is doing, how he's coping - if jay even misses him, remembers his existence. but it's hard to constantly check-in on your boyfriend when you have five other members you have to check-in on as well (the woes of a leader, though siwoo doesn't think he's been a very good one); and your schedules are constantly packed and piling up.

one thing that siwoo is sure of, is that he misses jay. and more than anything, he misses the time they'd had alone; be it in the comfort of siwoo's car, his bedroom or just anywhere, really. just him and jay, with no worries surrounding either of them.

it's a rarity for siwoo to be here nowadays, most of the training is done at the lime company building, and he barely makes his way to axis. still, there were one or two equipments he'd preferred at the larger building, and by coincidence, jay would be there as well.

he'd sent jay a text, asking where his boyfriend was, only to be met with no reply. which meant that jay was at the studio, working on music.

he walks into the studio, fully expecting jay to be immersed in music-making, only to see his head resting against the table, lips parted slightly with his notebook open. siwoo smiles, gentle as he grabs a chair and takes a seat next to the boy.

he doesn't wake jay up, instead he stares at the boy in front of him and gently, he tucks a strand of hair behind jay's ear. so pretty, he thinks. he's pretty and he's all mine. his heart swells, but he knows better than to kiss jay in that moment.

after a moment of admiring the face of his lover, siwoo tilts his head, staring at the screen in front of him, wondering what exactly jay had been working on to the point of exhaustion. without much hesitation, he presses play, and he's met with a song that he knows only jay can write. he listens to the lyrics, hands reaching out to hold jay's unknowingly as he interlaces their fingers out of habit.

now, even the smallest things. i'll save half of them for you, take my hand. i feel like i've finally grown, even if it's just a little. you can take my half.

"mm, it's pretty," he says to himself, watching the chords move on the screen as he continues listening. "wonder what made him write something like this."

bejaeyoung

“what if you forget what it's like to be with me?” siwoo says, callous, careless—always muttering whatever he wants. “maybe i want you to suffer a little without me.”

asshole. ryu siwoo never understands, all the while claiming jay is the one who is clueless in every scenario. at the time, all jay did was laugh, roll his eyes, and pinch siwoo’s cheek. it’s not fair, siwoo’s self-deprecating nature taking over his memories, conveniently forgetting everything he had put jay through, how much he still hasn’t made up for. jay knows a part of siwoo’s horrible mindset is because of his unfortunate brain damage, but it doesn’t feel fair, the amount of times jay had to excuse siwoo’s habit of jumping to conclusions.

even though his boyfriend hadn’t been around as much, if at all, interactions dwindled down to nothing but late night texts that jay catches in the crack of dawn. it’s quiet, the sound of ringtone chimes lessening significantly as his days go by. jay can count the amount of times he has met up with siwoo with one hand, something he isn’t used to at all, when they used to see each other practically everyday. it’s like a piece of him is missing, his other half—siwoo’s existence is a part of his own, but his presence is nowhere to be seen.

these lonely nights are what spurred the creation of his next song, bloodshot eyes focused on the notes and lyrics in front of him. jay has been working on it for the past few weeks, a personal project he has no intention of showing to anyone else. there are a few of his works he keeps hidden from prying eyes, ending up in his personal playlist that only he can listen to.

by this point, his latest masterpiece is already approaching its ending stages, simply requiring finishing touches before it is wholly completed. jay chose tonight to be his self-imposed deadline—no concrete time—determined to finish the song within an hour or so. his eyes feel heavy though, head buzzing with late night thoughts he can barely comprehend, siwoo’s words sharply echoing in invasive thunders within his own head.

“annoying,” he mumbles to himself, his fingers hovering over his notebook, his eyes staring into the screen like he could drill holes into it. “always saying whatever you want,” jay grumbles, leaning his cheek against the palm of his hand.

the next minute or so, his cheek has landed on his desk and the only thing that can be heard within the confines of the studio is jay’s song. of course siwoo chooses this time to enter the room and breach jay’s space, when jay expects him to be far away doing rookie idol activities.

he starts stirring soon after, blinking his eyes open, looking up at siwoo with furrowed eyebrows. his vision is still catching up to the light, to the reflection of siwoo’s silhouette. jay reaches out to grab siwoo’s shirt, confused, as if he woke up to an apparition of siwoo’s soul, instead of siwoo himself.

“where have you been all this time?” jay questions, his voice heavy with sleep, no sense of the usual bright and chaotic disposition. “always making me wait. even though you’re the one who promised to make it up to me. you’re such a liar.”

he wouldn’t have said any of this, at least if he had been of sound mind. as much of an asshole siwoo is, jay doesn’t want his feelings to weigh down on siwoo’s future, knowing how much siwoo has accomplished and will continue to. debuting, being a leader, opportunities lined up—how could jay get in the middle of that?

“have you forgotten? i’m always the one suffering because of you. idiot.” he whispers, tugging siwoo—if this really is siwoo—closer. he realizes then that his other hand is occupied, held onto by something warm, a familiar feeling.

“you’ve gone and take my half somewhere far. you’re so greedy, siwoo. you should have been greedier and taken all of me.” he glares weakly, lips pursing into a small pout. “you’re not even here to listen to my songs anymore. not this one, the song i made for you.”

his hold on siwoo’s hand tightens. “hurry up and come back, dummy.”

#( siwoo / take my half )#besiwoo #( threads. )

strike one.

it's kind of boring, seeing the same faces within the studio delta building. don't get jay wrong, he has no qualms with his friends—or should he call them coworkers, technically? it's just that it gets monotone, especially with the routine they're forced to participate in day in and day out. he used to look forward to the days when they could train together in the axis building, but there's a considerable difference these days, what with two groups of people being whisked away elsewhere. one debuted, the other in process of debuting.

@bexsua isn't exactly someone he had spoken with. jay wouldn't call himself the best conversationalist, often going on a ramble of his own choosing with little regard to the other party. still though, he's not unfamiliar when it comes to starting conversations with semi-strangers. "hey, are you bored?" jay questions, head tilted, curious. "i know i have been. for the past few weeks, actually."

maybe he shouldn't have admitted that post-rehearsals. who knows how many staff members just heard that and are more than ready to put jay's head on a stake. "makes me think i should've just auditioned for that random drama! at least that would give me something more to do. but i hate acting... actually, hate is a strong word. it's just not my thing."

#( sua / strike one )#( threads. )#; trainee.#; june 25.#bexsua

bechaerin

she can't help but slightly frown at how jaeyoung's opening up a can of soda at such an ungodly hour, but it's not like she's close enough to him to go full-on nagging mode. "yeah, time does seem to fly when you're working on something." chaerin's gone through the same thing when she stayed back to work on a song.

letting out a hum, she followed his gaze to stare at how dark it's gotten outside. the axis building was buzzing with lots of different activities. as much as the executives tried to keep things on the down-low, it was pretty easy to tell when something big was about to happen.

that's all to say that chaerin felt a little discouraged that she wasn't next in line for whatever big project was coming up. she's heard of trainees who trained for five to six years before finally making their debut, and she can't help but start to believe that she might fall into that category soon. that is, if she even gets to debut at all.

"that's also true. we're all just left here to work on things before we're picked up to potentially debut." the words sound a little bitter leaving her lips, so she tries to lighten up the mood with a soft chuckle. "it's kind of odd to see the people we trained with finally debut, don't you think so?"

bejaeyoung

returning his gaze back to chaerin, he listens to the other speak as he downs his can of soda. they're not usually the correct remedy when it comes to feeling thirsty, but he's out of water and he wants something sweet and fizzy anyway. something to wake him up a little, even though his mind is already racing, too used to the late nights and witching hours. briefly, he wonders how long he'd have to keep up with this routine.

"it's only during these hours that i can work on personal projects," he hums, stretching his arms a little, nearly tipping the soda can over in the process. he steadies it when he realizes though, jay doesn't want to make a mess—despite usually not caring, if it's within the confines of his own apartment. "when it's filled with the hustle and bustle of trainee life i have to follow their schedule." he's not exactly complaining, it's what he signed up for—but he does hope there's a little more color to his routine!

"so you were working on something too? practicing a little extra something?" he questions, even though the answer is kind of obvious. no one just sticks around for nothing, unless she overslept or something. he's not privy to that information!

chaerin mentions the other trainees debuting, and blinks. "tell me about it, one of them is my boyfriend!" maybe he shouldn't have said that out loud—it's not like he mentioned which vybe boy was his boyfriend anyway. it's a good thing no staff came by though, not that jay was thinking about it. instead, he finishes the soda in his hand.

#( chaerin / training 1 )#( threads. )#bechaerin #; june 25.#; trainee.

visithollow

𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝒊𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍 —

written for 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐣𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 ( @bejaeyoung ) ♡

the café myungsoo picks is tucked away on some quiet side street, all floor-to-ceiling windows and washed-out minimalist decor. it's the kind of place he always ends up at. low-key but curated, like a soft filter over something too sharp. he shrugs off the cold, and adjusts the sleeves of his varsity jacket, fixes his scarf like it matters, and sinks into the seat by the window. time's made him sleeker, maybe smoother, but not immune. there's still that twitch in his stomach when certain names resurface.

he checks his phone even though jaeyoung already texted 'on my way' minutes ago. classic. still, myungsoo can't stop the reel that starts playing: those long, sticky summers at borrowed manors or villas, whispering dumb secrets over stolen snacks, mapping out futures they barely believed in.

the door jingles. he looks up.

jaeyoung walks in like he never left. still got that same casual chaos to him, like the world's background noise. myungsoo stands, a smile catching at his mouth, half muscle memory, half defense.

"jaeyoung," he says, bowing just enough. "been forever." then, like it's nothing: "not to sound like a movie script, but you haven't changed. i meant to reach out when i got back to seoul, but you know how it is, family, work, deadlines, the usual three-ring disaster."

bejaeyoung

people come and go. jay had gotten used to that—maybe, he forced himself to be. there isn't a long list of individuals that can handle the storm that jay brings, it's the price he pays for being unapologetically himself, come what may. it doesn't quell the questions that spin around in his own head, whether he'd have to compromise parts of himself to keep someone close to him, no matter the type of relationship. it's not the first time he lost a friend, but he had hoped myungsoo wouldn't be another memory that sits out of reach.

maybe that's just how the world works. he had heard complaints before—how he’s too independent, too in his own world, too much to handle, too hard to pin down. he wonders whether myungsoo felt the same, having lost contact with the other boy far too long ago.

jay doesn’t think too much when he enters the café, spotting myungsoo not too far off from the window. he walks over, casually, like not a lot of time has passed. in jay’s perspective, time moves as a blur—what feels like months ago, can still feel like yesterday. either way, when myungsoo bows and fixes him with a practiced smile, jay rolls his eyes. a habit of his, another thing that hasn’t changed.

“you're being so polite,” jay points out, elongating the vowels as he does, just to sound even more annoying than he already does. “it’s been a while since someone greeted me so… properly.” he can’t help the laugh, genuinely finding the reaction funny—besides, he's not the type of person to have formal talkswith, oftern turning conversations around and around just for fun.

“if i changed too much, then i wouldn’t be the same person!” he replies, pulling out one of the chairs and dumping his entire body onto it. “it’s fine,” he lies, busying himself with the menu. “there are a million other things more important than me,” he adds on, not as a jab—because it is true, at the end of the day. he's nosy, sure, but he doesn't pry anymore—it doesn't feel like his right, when it comes to myungsoo these days. “is the usual circus why you’re acting so stiff?” he questions, eyes flickering to the other boy’s, the usual teasing grin on his face.

#( myungsoo / what if it doesn't end well )#( threads. )#myungbe #; june 25.

borabe

meeting jay was… completely unexpected for bora. on the few rare occasions she sat down behind la ciel, she would often work on writing a few lyrics with a clear mind. this also led to her softly rapping those lyrics to herself to make sure they sounded nice, and scrapping what came off as clunky or awkward. usually nobody hears her back there, but somehow one guy actually did… and, to her surprise and confusion, asked to hear her do it again?

since then, she’s been working alongside him for the past few weeks, waking up some mornings to an excited message or call telling her to prepare for her next ‘mission’, varying from musical workshops or small competitions like this that he signed her up for. she’d want to roll back over in bed if it was one of her free weekends from working, but she knows that she has to get up and get to work if she’s serious about being an idol one day. she's got dreams to see come true, after all!

bora’s taken out of her thoughts when jay speaks up, but she tries to hide how she was zoned out by nodding and giving him a small (albeit slightly forced) smile. “r-right! it shouldn’t be too bad then?” hidden underneath a lot of her determination and confidence was just a relatively small ounce of fear. she hadn’t performed in front of a nice-sized audience before, so needless to say, she was anxiously tapping her fingers against her other hand as she tried not to think about how something could go wrong. “all i have to do is just perform and if they like me, that’s fine! and if they don’t, then at least i have the experience! yup, sounds easy enough!” oh no, she’s rambling.

she can hardly get herself to peek out of the curtain alongside him, chewing on her lip as she scans the crowd with him. she can’t say she sees anyone yet who fits his description… but bora blinks in surprise at his sudden teasing before letting out a fake gasp as she looks back at him, placing her hand on her chest. “whaaaaat? me, nervous? nooooo. i’m just… uh…” she looks around backstage, trying to find something to use as a distraction before sighing and covering her face. “… okay, yes, i’m a little nervous…! what if i fall on my face out there, or get my words twisted up?”

bejaeyoung

jay had probably kicked his own nerves to the curb. he never thinks that far—driven by determination and pure chaotic force, whatever nervous demeanor that could surface swallowed up by sheer will and his inability to read the room. he’s guilty of signing up to performances last minute and taking the stage by storm, unapologetically. it’s things like that which builds his character, but it’s also why he can’t exactly relate to bora’s mildly anxious ramblings. on top of that, jay wouldn’t know how to comfort her, other than telling her to go for it!

“whether it’ll be bad or not is wholly up to you!” jay exclaims with a grin, patting his friend on the back in an attempt to give her encouragement, although his wording would end up resulting in the opposite. he does believe in making your own fate, doesn’t see anything wrong with what he just said. “besides, haven’t you been practicing a lot? you can totally do this! win their hearts and get your name out there!” granted, jay might not be the most trustworthy sponsor when it comes to this, considering everything he has done in the public eye. but hey, he did get signed—it’s not about his performance skills! just his personality. boo.

today isn’t about him though, it’s all about bora. he wouldn’t take the spotlight from her ( nor can he, without inciting the wraths of his NDA ). “why are you imagining scenarios that have a very small likelihood of happening?” jay is one to talk, although his uncontrollable thoughts aren’t the ones involving messing up his performance. his self-confidence on that regard is a little too high—hell, actually, that might be his ego talking. “that’s not gonna happen! well, as long as you make sure your shoelaces are tied so you won’t trip. you should check now, while you still have time!”

what does jay usually do when faced with a crowd who don’t know him yet, who are his targets to wow? honestly, he always just goes big or go home—be utterly himself without pretense. those who love him will stay, those who don’t will go. such is life, or whatever. that advice probably won’t work on bora though. “just… imagine they’re naked? naked cucumbers who won’t hurt you?” solid advice, jay. “or would that just make you burst out laughing on stage?”

#( bora / project )#( threads. )#borabe #; june 25.

bechaerin

✦ * · ˚ @bejaeyoung

with the debut of lime's boy trainees, chaerin couldn't help but feel more and more impatient. however, realistically, she knew that it'd be a while until a girl group were to debut, which meant that all she could do for now was continue to wait and practice.

she's been wandering around the axis labels building after getting in some late night practice on her own when she stumbles upon jaeyoung lounging around himself. taking a look down at her phone, she frowns because it's quite late, but it isn't too surprising to find another trainee around at this hour.

"hey," she says gently before carefully approaching him. despite jaeyoung participating in next gen, she never had a chance to personally coach him, so she's only seen him around after he's become a trainee. "what are you doing here so late?"

bejaeyoung

it's late into the night, not that jay has been keeping track. he never pays attention to the clock whenever he's in the axis building—he never does, period. there's no one around to remind him to come home these days though, what with his sister being busy and his boyfriend only texting him once in a blue moon, usually before he was going to crash into the bed himself.

at least after following his up-to-date training schedule, he can stick around the studios mixing something. unfortunately, that habit of his often ends up consuming a huge chunk of time. before he knows it, it's already dark out and everyone had cleared out of the building. well, almost everyone.

he knows he should be heading back, but he decides to get a drink from the vending machine first, a treat for the journey home ahead. someone approaches him though, luckily jay isn't out of it enough to mistake her for a ghost. "oh, me? i could say the same to you!" he opens up his canned soda, letting it fizz out for a moment. "honestly, i just lost track of time. woah, when did it get so dark out?" he questions, peering out the windows before turning back to the girl.

"i mean, i was training, then i was writing things, and then... i think i got too lost in the music. there's not much else to do here besides training though, is there?" he sighs, shrugging his shoulders.

#( chaerin / training 1 )#( threads. )#bechaerin #; may 25.#; trainee.#/ ty for the starter! <3

sarangbe

ＮＯＵＲＩＳＨＥＤ．ｆｅａｔ． 염사랑 & 송제이

jay continues to prove sarang's theory that most-all men are absolutely useless. sure, it's a pretty obvious theory, and yes, it may seem strange coming from him, a fellow man in this world, but he likes to think that he's one of the rare few that actually knows how to care for himself. lately, it's become all the more obvious that many men con women into marrying them, but the second the rings are on their fingers and they carry on with their newlywed lifestyle, more and more of their flaws begin to appear. instead of being a devoted husband to their wives, these men revert back to children and lean on their spouses much like they did their mothers, expecting the woman in their life to baby them in ways that are horribly unbecoming.

while jay isn't attracted to women, nor is he getting married anytime soon, he's a typical example of a man who is clueless when it comes to self-care of any kind. can he put together an outfit and ensure that his hair looks at least passable? sarang supposes so, but it barely scratches the surface. when it comes to other methods of self-care, his good pal is severely lacking. existing solely on ramen is a sure way to create a long list of problems, so when he learned that that's what jay had been doing ever since his sister moved out of their apartment, sarang took it upon himself to show up around dinnertime on a sunday to make him a nice meal.

it's not going to be anything gourmet or luxurious. sarang is only a relatively decent home-cook himself but he knows that, if he can learn to throw some simple ingredients together to make a hearty, healthy meal, then jay can, too. while nothing fancy, what he plans on preparing contains more vitamins, minerals, and nutrients than the instant meals jay has been using as his sole sustenance. so, making himself at home in the other's kitchen, he spreads out the supplies he picked up from the market earlier: one package of sweet potato noodles, a block of smoked tofu, a zucchini, a carrot, an onion, scallions, garlic cloves, spinach, and shiitake mushrooms.

after washing everything off, he sets them in a large bowl off to the side, then turns to jay. "can i trust you to chop some vegetables, or are you someone that shouldn't be trusted with a knife?" he teases, giggling. "if that's the case, you can work with the noodles and i'll make sure our veggies are in good order. seulgi actually taught me a sweet trick on how to make sure everything is cut uniformly into matchsticks, so i've gotten pretty good at it!" his older brother made sure sarang know how to cook at least 3 meals for himself, and over time, he's learned a few others out of sheer curiosity.

"also, i assumed that you probably already had soy sauce and sesame oil handy, so i didn't buy any... please tell me that i was correct in assuming that?"

bejaeyoung

jay never spends too long in the kitchen. it's not for any nefarious reason, if anything he's open to learning about the culinary world and its little intricacies. however, his track record so far whenever he so much as steps into the kitchen hasn't been spotless—the opposite, in fact. he's not to be trusted in cooking spaces, not that he isn't open to learning! he'd sneak in once in a while to bake something for his sister, usually during special occasions like her birthday. it's a miracle there hasn't been any oven explosions, he'd count that as part of his learning curve.

it's rare that the kitchen is steaming with a delicious smell that jay can't quite describe with his limited vocabulary related to food that's mostly rooted in phrases like: it's tasty! or woah, this is good. sarang's responsible for this, the culprit behind whatever magical thing is happening in the kitchen. when jay revealed to his friend, oh-so-casually, that he's probably going to start consuming instant noodles as primary sustenance for the foreseeable future, sarang took matters into his own hands—and surprisingly, he's allowing jay in a space that often erupts into chaos once he settles in.

"listen, i'm not that hopeless in the kitchen you know!" if jay had said this to anyone else, they'd probably laugh at him and tell him to stay out. sarang's different though, jay is rather pleased that the other boy trusts him enough to remain within a few feet of whatever is boiling or frying. heading over to one of the drawers, he takes out a knife along with its chopping board. "as long as you're not asking me to be artistic with the pieces i'm cutting up, then consider it mission accomplished!"

sarang mentions soy sauce and sesame oil next, which causes jay to pause, knife hovering over a vegetable. he swings the tool around as he hums, thinking back to what's left in his fridge and kitchen shelves the last time he checked. "i'm pretty sure i still do, i hadn't stocked up recently but that means there's still some left overs! they should be in the shelf above me, do you want me to take them out now?" if sarang had explained what meal they're fixing, jay hadn't paid attention to the details of the recipe—well, he also could've forgotten.

#( sarang / nourished )#( threads. )#sarangbe #; may 25.

bexstevie

stevie wonders if they speak it into existence, would it happen? what would stevie do? he feels like he'd be down for it, at the end of the day. but worry settles in his gut. is he ready? he made it through next gen and sure, it took him two tries, but he made it! stevie's done well in studio delta so far, and he's almost made it a year. that's pretty impressive, is it not? is that debut ready though? "scary thought." he goes with, a huff leaving him.

"oh my god," stevie says in english suddenly, shaking his head with a nervous bout of laughter. "i don't...yeah no..." surely that's not the road they'd take with them, right? "i would...like to not do that..." stevie probably would, at the end of the day. but god damn, another one? "it's so stressful..on top of a debut? oh man, oh man."

can he handle that? "well, i mean! third time's the charm! haha." stevie's voice cracks a bit on the laugh, sound more hysteric than anything else. "i mean...i'd have to, right?" stevie can't back out now. what good would that do him? besides school, this is the longest committment to something that feels like he's actually...y'know, doing something. "besides, i don't want to like, debut without you guys. it would feel wrong." he tacks it on with a pout, shaking his head at the thought of it.

bejaeyoung

"think about it," jay says, even though he has a feeling that stevie would like to not ponder over the matter more than he already has. that's understandable, especially because stevie has gone through the stressful experience of being in a survival show more than once. doesn't that mean stevie has a higher likelihood of passing, should they be thrown into one? jay can't help it though, now that the thought has entered it's mine, his brain has decided to run with it to the very end.

"but you know, there hasn't been any news about a next gen season three. don't you think that means they're cooking something else?" jay is just throwing ideas into the hat, there's absolutely no guarantee what he's saying will come to fruition—but anything is possible in the world of entertainment if it meant squeezing every bit of money from the pockets of the audience. "we literally have no idea what's going to happen, all i know is that this waiting around period is sooooooo boring."

stevie expresses his desire to debut with everyone though, and that brings a smile to his face even though he has been groaning and complaining the entire time! "awww, you're so cute, stevie!" as it usually goes with jay's lack of boundaries, he pierces through stevie's space and squishes stevie's cheeks with his hands. "i'd love to debut with you too! i have a feeling we'll go a long way as a group if you're a part of it. like, from a business standpoint. but i also just like you, as a person. in case that wasn't obvious," he stresses his point by pulling on stevie's cheeks.

#( stevie / routine )#( threads. )#bexstevie #; trainee.#; may 25.

besiwoo

in true siwoo fashion, when he’d first told jay about debuting, a million thoughts had flashed through his mind. the thought of seeing jay less – the same jay he’d grown up with, that he’d spent so much of his teenage years and now adulthood with – was something that siwoo was unsure if he was ready to give up. not just because of his obsession for the boy, but also because of the fear that jay would be left to his own devices. still at the very least he knew that jay would be well taken care of by his older sister.

that is of course until jay drops this bomb on him and siwoo can only stare at his boyfriend in disbelief. “what?” he says, and jay repeats himself, as though already well aware of the fact that siwoo’s mind will require a good few minutes to process this.

he listens as his boyfriend speaks, and the cogs in his brain slowly turn. would that mean jay would be all alone in that apartment? with neither siwoo nor his older sister there to keep an eye out on him? jay, alone?

”of course i’m fucking worried,” siwoo replies. he thinks it’s only natural for him to worry this much. “you’re going to be all alone? jay, you…” he fumbles with his wallet, and pulls out an air tag, before slipping it into jay’s pocket. “don’t lose that. well, no. you will lose that. i’ll get you more, but try not to lose that.” as of now, jay will be tagged as “my wallet” on siwoo’s phone. he doesn’t quite care.

still, despite his own worry, he doesn’t miss the nuance in jay’s voice. his boyfriend is smiling, he’s telling siwoo that it’s fine, and while siwoo is worried now, he knows soon enough he’ll have more on his mind with his debut coming so soon. he reaches out to pat jay’s head. “i’m worried, of course i am. but you,” he begins, “are you going to get lonely?” siwoo asks point blank, not bothering to beat around the bush. perhaps in the past, he’d wriggle his way around asking – but time was something limited between the both of them now. siwoo’s well aware of the fact that this small pocket of leisure time he has with jay is barely enough to make up for the years that he’d spent running away from the boy.

“your sister is busy with… whatever it is,” a debut project, probably, siwoo thinks, “and i’m… well i’m debuting soon, jay. i don’t know if i’ll be able to see you this often or at all anymore,” he continues. “are you going to be lonely?”

bejaeyoung

the moment siwoo speaks, jay can hear the disbelief in his voice. after years of knowing siwoo, throughout everything that they've been through, jay can identify all of siwoo's tells. he looks up at his boyfriend, head tilted as he listens to the other ramble on and on about how worried he is. it's mostly justified, jay doesn't have the best track record when it comes to taking care of himself, even for the smallest things. he can't even remember whether he had eaten today, if he packed something for later, whether there's anything edible in the fridge. still though, jay huffs. "you're acting as if i'd die if i'm left to my own devices!"

jay almost misses siwoo slipping something into his pocket, a testament to just how easily he could, physically, fall apart with his unfocused brain and scrambled thoughts that never bothered to remind him to eat, drink and sleep. "what's that?" jay questions, fishing the mysterious device out of his own pocket and examining it closely with a hum. "oh, this thing. are you going to track me now?" he doesn't mind—he probably should. "do you need to charge this? i've never had one. i spent all my rich kid money on vtuber streaming equipment that's been rotting in my room since i became a trainee."

clearly, that's not the point siwoo is trying to make though. jay keeps the airtag, fingers wrapped around the little machine, fiddling with it as if siwoo had gifted him a toy and not a device that's meant to serve as some sort of gps that keeps track of his movements. it's only when siwoo touches his head gently does he pause, looking back up at the other boy—properly study siwoo's features, tired, bags under his eyes, thoughts of jay and debut probably pounding in his already fucked up head.

he hasn't been able to look at his boyfriend in a while, their schedules clashing far too often despite the two of them being in the same building every now and then. siwoo is frowning, when he'd usually mask himself with a stupid fake smile that jay can point out. it's a little too bad jay is strapped to the seat of an audience for the foreseeable future, he thinks.

are you going to be lonely? siwoo asks the question of the genuine concern, but jay has a hunch that there's an answer siwoo wants to hear, even if he won't admit it. "feeling lonely isn't anything new. we'll be okay, won't we?" jay replies, lifting his other hand to hold onto siwoo's, letting out a small laugh; tight, restricted. "haha, you look like shit. don't look like that on your debut stage." another laugh, this time slightly more carefree than the last. "anyway, dating is all about compromises and stuff, right? i'll be fine!"

pulling siwoo down by his hand though, jay finally whispers his real answer to siwoo's ear. "yeah, i'll be lonely. so don't be gone too long."

#( siwoo / fussy )#( threads. )#besiwoo #/ happy debut siwoo & co #; may 25.

memoirofaouboom

Beomgyu ✦ Panic ⤥ Producer Gyu

#( visuals. )

bexstevie

"it feels like it," stevie says after a moment, stretching out his leg, leaning back on his arms. he titls his head back to stare up at the ceiling in thought-- thinking about how long he's been here now, (almost ten months! who wouldn't thought?) and how many people have come and go in that time. it's a little sad to think about-- how many are left now.

debut is a crazy concept to him. it feels like something you wait forever for. ten months hasn't felt that long to him. hell, next gen feels fresh in his mind still, the rush of it all. the possible idea of debut is almost a bit...scary of a thought to him. would they be ready? would he be ready?

"you say that now and tomorrow we'll get pulled into a meeting," stevie jokes, huffing out a laugh. it probably wouldn't happen, but like...the chance is not zero percent, which is a daunting thought in itself. "what do you think they'll do with us?" stevie's brows pinch together in thought. "i think it's not like, cringe or anything, i'd be okay with it. maybe."

bejaeyoung

“okay, but, like i said before—i’d be ready if they suddenly pulled us into a meeting!” at this point, jay is about ready to do something—anything that isn’t just another long routine of training. it’s not that he thinks he’s hot shit, although he has a feeling he comes off that way regardless because of his confidence in his abilities and talents. is it that wrong to trust in himself?

“hey,” jay turns to stevie, lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed as if he’s thinking—and he is, don’t get him wrong! “this might sound kind of crazy, but what if they put us in another survival show? this time with debut being the prize.” it doesn’t sound that far-fetched, after all there’s a lot of shows with that exact concept.

“would be crazy if we survived one show only to be thrown into another, huh? like… a next gen quarter quell? you know, like in the hunger games when they brought back the previous winners.” it sounds plausible, but most of all, entertaining to an audience. “do you think you can handle that?”

#( stevie / routine )#( threads. )#bexstevie #( trainee. )#( april 25. )

beseira

bejaeyoung

truthfully, jay almost forgot about the fact that he’s under a contract. if it wasn’t for seira coming to her and telling her that her probationary contract was extended, he probably would have continued on never thinking of his own contract until the day it was set to expire. nabbing a contract straight out of next gen did mean that he skipped the whole probationary contract process, but it’s still a contract nonetheless. who knows how studio delta will evaluate him a few months down the road. honestly… jay isn’t too worried though, at least not for himself. seira had been though, and he’s glad for her ( as much as someone like jay can be, showing it in strange ways ), after everything. “there was never any doubt! it’d be a big loss if they didn’t sign you, to be honest.” maybe jay wouldn’t have said this months ago, but seeing how hard seira has worked, he can now. “i feel like whenever we meet up, we’re stuffing our faces with food!” he says, raising his glass to the other girl’s and bumping them together. “cheers! congratulations, seira. you deserve it! here’s to a full year with the company!”

having her contract extended made her life much more enjoyable. while on the probationary contract, seira had been in constant worry, practicing as much as she could, even at home, and when at work all she thought about was practice. she’d barely taken any breaks, she desperately needed that contract extended, she did not want to go back to searching for a company to take her in. and studio delta was an upgrade from her old company, the coaches and trainees seemed more serious and the company actually had successful groups. she felt like in her short time at studio delta she’d learned more than in her years in her old company.

“thank you” seira smiles to jaeyoung, she’d improved a great deal in studio delta, but she still had far to go. “you too, it would be a big loss for studio delta if they lost you” she takes another sip of her soju.

“it’s because all i do is eat” seira shrugs “i want to include food in anything i do” a chuckle escapes her lips. “cheers to another year!” she smiles at the other before clinking their glasses together and taking another sip. “what about you? when does your contract expire?”.

bejaeyoung

“no kidding!” while jay wouldn’t call himself someone who’s arrogant, he’s fairly confident in himself and knows that he can fill a hole in the studio delta roster, especially the boys. it can be said that overconfidence would lead to anyone’s downfall, but he has a reason to hold onto this mindset. “but honestly, they wouldn’t lose me. i have no interest in moving companies. unless they seriously kick me out.”

it wasn’t the best idea to go out drinking now that he’s living alone, there’s no telling whether he can get home just fine. jay has no sense of direction and now that he has been left to fend for himself, who knows whether he’ll be able to make it back to his apartment with no hiccups. that being said, jay still takes another sip of his drink, letting it buzz under his skin.

“i think i skipped the probationary part of my contract since i got signed through next gen. that probably means it’s a yearly contract…” he hums, alcohol doesn’t really help him recall memories or count coherently. “i’d say… around june, i think? i don’t even remember where i put my copy of the contract!”

#( seira / celebration )#( threads. )#beseira #( april 25. )

hansolbe

all of a sudden, the commotion outside stops.

it’s quiet. too quiet. perhaps the alcohol claimed victory over the great song hansol and knocked him straight out. or perhaps he finally came to his senses after a few hard kicks and decided to leave. ( one can only hope. )

but better not to check. a glimpse through the peephole would yield nothing but darkness. you see, hansol has plastered himself against the door, hands cupped around his eyes as he peers into jaeyoung’s place. he doesn’t see shit.

“was that a challenge?” hansol asks, his voice lowered to a hush. “was it, jay? you know how i feel ‘bout challenges, jay. you know i won’t stop ‘til i’ve won.” he backs up a few steps and, without any warning, jumps forth and rams his shoulder into the door, his head throwing back with a maniacal cackle. “HEY, JA~AAY ~!” BAM! “IS THIS THE GAME YOU WANNA PLAY ~? HU~UUH, JAY!” BAM! “’CAUSE I’M ‘BOUT TO BREAK THIS FUCKIN’ DOOR DO —”

oof.

... rejoice! song hansol is out! OUT! O-U-T —

just kidding. hansol startles awake, eyes flying open as he latches onto jaeyoung’s ankle from his position on the floor. “you asshole.” the glare only holds for a second before hansol drops his head back on the ground and laughs – hacks up a lung – and laughs again. “hey, song jaeyoung.” his fingers grapple at the fabric, as if he’s trying to pull jaeyoung down but to no avail. “if i die from a concussion, i’m gonna come back as a ghost and haunt the living shit outta ya.”

“but i’ll forgive ya if you do me a favour.” hansol smiles up oh-so-sweetly at his dear cousin ( distant relative, twice-removed, whatever ). “you’re a trainee at one of those entertainment companies, yeah? put in a good word for me?”

bejaeyoung

hansol is so easy, too easy, at least when he's clearly shitfaced drunk out of his mind to care about manners and the eardrums of his neighbours. then again, hansol never seemed like the type who does, sober or not. the intensity of the banging against his door could probably wake up the rest of the world. a part of him wonders whether hansol would just keep going throughout the night, screaming and wrecking his door until he passes out on the floor. he forfeits his sense of curiosity for the sake of peace, at least this time, finally letting hansol in along with a string of curses.

"oh, sorry, i couldn't hear you just now," he lies, clearly only saying so to edge the other boy on. "there was a racket outside, i thought a boar was gonna come crashing in. turns out it was just you, huh!" bouts of laughter comes out of him in several heaps as he crouches down over his visitor, poking hansol's back as if to test whether hansol's bones are still in intact. "that was quite the nasty fall," jay comments, as if he had nothing to do with the matter, which is far from the case.

"if you die, i'll dig your grave for you and hide your body somewhere fitting, i promise. you should worry more about alcohol poisoning though, at this rate." maybe he's a little worried—not that he'd let hansol figure that out—but this predicament feels rather deserved, especially after the storm that hansol caused just moments ago.

"you want me to march right up to the ceo and tell him to give you a chance?" he asks, amused. sounds plausible, except he knows pulling that sort of stunt would get him blacklisted, knowing how moody of a person yoon jihun is. "should i take a picture of you right now and show it to him? tell him: hey, you definitely want this drunk in your company! sounds like a plan."

he tilts his head to the side. "how long are you going to stay like that? did you actually get a concussion?"

#( hansol / sheesh )#( threads. )#hansolbe #( april 25. )#/ omg forgive me for taking so long #pls have this reply as my humble apology... <3 #and sorry not sorry hansol

eunbinbe

despite having been a dancer for so many years, eunbin realized that there was still so much for her to learn. she's tried locking and waacking before, but she couldn't say she was an expert in either of them. really, her best skill was probably learning choreography quickly and coming up with moves herself.

that's why she decided to sign up for this workshop even though there were other skills she could've chosen to focus on this month instead. "it'd be so much fun! but i also wouldn't be surprised if they just decided to go over some basics again. i mean, you can never go wrong with basics, right?"

eunbin could never predict what would happen at these workshops, but she was thankful to even get the opportunity to participate in them. "maybe so! can you imagine everybody in this room trying to do tutting at the same time, though? i think it'd be kind of funny," she stated with a chuckle. "we'd all look like malfunctioning robots."

bejaeyoung

ever since jay found himself locked into this career path, he always envisioned himself as a jack of all trades. he wouldn’t consider himself an ace when it comes to dancing though, so it’s beneficial that he joins this workshop, despite it being mostly out of curiosity—besides, there’s never anything wrong with brushing up his skills, is there? more experience to gain, more knowledge to earn.

“but if we’re just going over the basics, it almost feels like just another round of regular practice, doesn’t it? it’d be a waste if that’s all we’re doing.” not that it’s a bad thing, he supposes. surely there is more out here though, at least that’s what he’d be hoping for.

“maybe they’ll break us up in categories! some of us will be doing one thing, another group would be doing something else.” jay hums, peering over at the instructors as they walk up to the front. “see? it looks like there’s more than one person in charge of this workshop,” jay says as he observes.

#( eunbin / dance workshop )#( threads. )#( trainee. )#( march 25. )#eunbinbe

routine.

“it’s a lot less crowded these days, isn’t it?” jay points out, legs stretched as he sits in the middle of the practice room after long hours of practice. “is it just me?” he asks, turning to @bexstevie with his head slightly tilted. there’s been a lot of changes to his routine lately, wherein the people he’s usually with are suddenly too busy these days. there isn’t much he can do about it, except go through the rest of his days getting used to it.

“feels like everyone’s getting into debut projects lately,” jay adds on, whispering as if he’s talking about conspiracies. he suspects not a lot of people have figured out what sr media is doing, but from what his sister has told him—or lack thereof—jay made his own conclusions on the matter.

“feels like the people out and about in the axis building is becoming lesser and lesser!” he states, sighing dramatically as he slips onto the floor, lying down unceremoniously. “i wonder when it’ll be our turn…”

#( stevie / routine )#bexstevie #( threads. )#( trainee. )#( march 25. )

beseira

time for a celebration

seira had been stressed like hell, ended up crying to a friend, the fact that she had a probationary contract had had her worried. perhaps not being a trainee for a year wasn’t that long, but it had felt like ages, and seira couldn’t wait to become a trainee again. she was thankful studio delta took her in, but she had been worried since it was a probationary contract, she had three months to prove she deserved to be here. she’d practiced like hell, as much as she could, and luckily enough it had managed to pay off.

so she’s invited jaeyoung over for a celebration, because her contract got extended. “i wanted to bake a cake myself, but” she takes a sip of her soju “i can’t really bake, so i just bought one” she shrugs. “thanks for celebrating this moment with me” she smiles to the other “cheers?” she asks as she lifts up her glass.

sending it to... @bejaeyoung

bejaeyoung

seira had been though, and he’s glad for her ( as much as someone like jay can be, showing it in strange ways ), after everything. “there was never any doubt! it’d be a big loss if they didn’t sign you, to be honest.” maybe jay wouldn’t have said this months ago, but seeing how hard seira has worked, he can now.

“i feel like whenever we meet up, we’re stuffing our faces with food!” he says, raising his glass to the other girl’s and bumping them together. “cheers! congratulations, seira. you deserve it! here’s to a full year with the company!”

#( seira / celebration )#beseira #( threads. )#( march 25. )

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