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@benibitchcumbergay
895. Muggleborns wonder why there’s a large group of friendly, teenage ghosts around Hogwarts. They’re led by a funny boy with red hair who likes to joke around with Peeves, and he always says that they’re Dumbledore’s Last Army.
I’ve cried myself dry.
Fuck everything
Clifford the big red dog by *sandara
OH MY GOD
Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either.
Like, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog. Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter.
To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren’t expecting. There is only one problem.
Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side. Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately, the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape. Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie.
Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods, constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn’t long before the military arrives in town.
Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent’s superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford’s mother wasn’t the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack.
What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good.
The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more.
The credits roll.
Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white. The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold.
He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two.
“Emily Elizabeth,” he says over the sound of the crashing surf, “I worked with your parents. It’s taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident.”
“And who exactly is ‘us’,” she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
Ignoring her question, the man continues. “Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually.” He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. “I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He’s fairly excited to talk with you.”
“You still haven’t answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?”
The man smiles. “My name is Banner. And I’m hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.”
how long did you even spend writing this for that fucking twist ending because my friend you are one devoted fan
Marvel Studios' Chris Crisis (Chrisis)
Marvel: So for Thor we’ve cast Chris Hemsworth…
Me: Ooo, he’s hot!
Marvel: Then for Captain America we’ve got Chris Evans…
Me: Also extremely hot.
Marvel: Now to complete the Chris trifecta we’ve cast Chris Pratt as Peter Quill in Guardians of the Galaxy.
Me: Andy from Parks and Rec? He’s more goofy-cute than hot.
Marvel: We will make him hot.
Me: Yeah okay….
Me: Wha?!
Marvel: You’re welcome.
Mmm
Classic Novels + YA Movie Retelling
CHILDHOOD BACK
AND CALVIN IS WITH THE GIRL THAT HATED HIM ASFHAGS
im crying a lil bit
I need this in my tumblr forever.
is anyone gonna talk about how his kids name is bacon???
HE’S WITH SUZIE THAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD OTP
..this is real. CHILDHOOD
who names their kid bacon
Calvin and Hobbes were Reformation-era philosophers, as was Frances Bacon. I’m better his daughter’s name is actually Frances, but he calls her by the appropriate last name of the philosopher, just as Calvin and Hobbes are last names.
OH THE FEELS! THE ABSOLUTE FEELS! OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GAAAAAAAAAWD.
I’M FREKING OUT
YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK THIS I TOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE CUTE AND CHEEKY BUT GUESS WHAT
IT ISN’T
AND NOW I’M SAD
This is not okay
NO THIS WAS CUTE WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME
I knew what this was going to be…
It’s a beautiful day.
Yay.
Hey cutie.
The days not the only thing that's beautiful
I feel like Rebel Wilson did whatever the hell she wanted and barely followed the script for this movie.
#her character didn’t exist and when she auditioned the creators were like#no you get your own character#do whatever you want#all of her shit was improv (via liarassideboob)
Rachel Wilson for president
Rachel Wilson
IF YOU EVER SAY MY FANDOM IS WEIRD THEN I WILL sit right down and agree with you because yes it is bizzarre and yes it is fantabulastical
Bra With Pockets
This functional bra can hold most cellphones, IDs, and other small items regardless of bust size. Items won’t change the way the bra fits you. Currently on sale at Amazon!
OK I REALLY WANT TO BE KISSING A GIRL AND THEN I TAKE OFF MY SHIRT AND SHE’S LIKE “CUTE BRA” AND I CAN SAY “THANKS IT HAS POCKETS”
the game has changed forever
THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UNCLE
Sort of hyperventilating
Deadpool Annual (2014) #2
I am literally just sitting here with my mouth hanging open.
Deadpool:
1) is capable of human relationships, be they romantic, platonic, or anywhere in between.
2) considers Spiderman his friend, even if Peter’s a little leery on the subject.
3) Would kill for his friends. Has killed for his friends.
4) Is awesome.
#EXCUSE ME WHILE I’M SCREECHING TO DEATH
#If you wait #the top two gifs look like Sam is throwing Mjolnir to Thor and he catches it!
I looped them together
WELCOME HOME BABE
