[rotty-topzzz]

I AM A FUCKING BALL JOINTED DOLL!

goddammit i'm just stuck making shit tumblr posts because someone won't get off their FAT FUCKING ASS!! and turn me into one!!

[subbyflip]

Re-blog if you are soft and like to be cuddled

[crabussy]

"I'm so lazy for lying down so often" "I'm so greedy for eating such a big meal" MY BEAUTIFUL FRIEND!!!! YOUUUU ARE A GIANT OMNIVORE. YOU'RE MEGAFAUNA. DO YOU KNOWWW HOW ENERGY EXPENSIVE IT IS TO KEEP A GIANT OMNIVORE WITH A HUGE BRAIN RUNNING. very!!! very energy expensive!!! eat that burger take that nap. holy moly. you wonderful animal. your species is made for frequent meals and daytime rests and long sleeps. let yourself be a human.

[slippingthrough-sleep]

need to be conditioned with musk. need to be able to bury my nose in a hot girls pits and be able to instantly turn my brain off.

Taking a deep breath in, and blowing the thoughts back out.

Conditioned with soft gentle words and her new file, but only ever letting me sink with her hand in my hair, shoving me into her scent and letting it cloud me mind

Another deep breath in, and breathing the thoughts out again

spending a long day under her desk with my dumb Puppy snout pressed against her crotch, whining and needy but unable to do anything about it

because Puppys nose is so much more important than Puppys brain

[ishimarukiyotaka]

literally the worst way of ending a series is “all the survivors are happily straight married with tons and tons of babies!” 

[ishimarukiyotaka]

people still getting mad at this post i made in 2014 so I will add here. in 2026. that the point of this post isn’t “happy endings bad” its when the story’s only way to imagine a happy ending is a heterosexual nuclear family for everyone.

[cartoonscientist]

friendly reminder that skin picking, overwashing, finger biting, and hair pulling are not “bad habits” or personal failings; they are all forms of evolutionarily ingrained self harm disorder called Repetitive Body-Focused Behavior that is a natural response to high stress levels and poor quality of life caused by the same neurological processes that cause animals to overgroom when they’re kept in inhumane conditions

[minttttttttttttttttttttttttttt]

sorry but this video is like a parasitic species to me

10h edit: GUYS THIS IS NOT MY VIDEO IT'S BY VAVR

[storyweavingspider]

An older Black woman stopped me to compliment my outfit for tonight and showed me her tattoo with the names of several of her dead queer friends and asked to hug me im gonna cry.

[skopostheorie]

This is ruining me I can't breathe

[danceundersparklinglights]

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[casuallyodd]

Both of these tags are right. I love when a cat will just put up with your silly human games. They love you and know you love them and are just happy with you.

[appendingfic]

"cats are incapable of love" cats understand affectionate bothering, something it takes years-long relationships to develop between humans

[alice-on-strings]

A porcelain doll stares at its cup of tea.

Is the tea cup made of it? Or is it made of tea cup?

It awawas, for it does not know.

-

Witch that makes sure to only buy plastic tea sets from now on.

[liberalsarecool]

Getting #BlackRock to change/exit the real estate market in NYC is a massive win for New Yorkers and #ZohranMamdani.

[the-ivy-grows-regardless]

I wish i lived in Mamdani land

[sashayed]

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

[sashayed]

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

[benniferthepotato]

thank the allmother im not on mount everest, we can think of way better ways to suffer and bleed money

[sashayed]

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

[sashayed]

still not on mount everest this morning 😌 alhamdulillah

[kooldewd123]

stupid running joke i love is how every single splatoon campaign has some moment where the idols are like "surely you recognize us, the world-famous squid sisters/off the hook/deep cut" and the player character just. doesn't. because normally the punchline of this sort of joke is that haha they aren't actually that famous, they just have an overinflated sense of ego, but that is demonstrably not the case here. these are actual bona-fide megastars who just so happen to keep enlisting god's most autistic soldiers. the universe is conspiring against them to find the single most out-of-the-loop person in the world at any given moment and send them to save the day. this rocks. i hope they never stop pulling this shit

[pup-lilac]

Just had a moment I thought would only exist in my dreams

My girlfriend got me really high and had me play War of Cybertron on her ps3 and every time I got a kill she would give me a click and I’m just squirming knowing I’m now gonna have to explain how hot I find the idea of piloting a giant robot while a hot woman trains and conditions me to fight. Fuckk. And then she sucked my tits and continue letting me hear the clicker as I got kills. I felt so fucking feral and locked in and so in my element. Just fighting and following orders like a good hound. It was bliss.