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tswift1989

Unicorns

Today was my first D&D session as a DM, and to commemorate the occasion I convinced friends who have never played a tabletop RPG before to hop in and make characters. There were a lot of highlights, but the MVP of this session was our Half-Orc Fighter, Chadwick.

Now Chadwick’s background is that of a disgraced model. He’s a surprisingly gorgeous half-orc man who achieved lower level fame and riches in a lavish city. However, in a street-racing chariot incident, he crashed into the menagerie and killed the last known unicorn. Since that scandal, he is unwelcome in his home city and thus is on a quest to prove the unicorn species still survives, and recover his reputation.

At the tavern the party met at, he was following a lead on a man named Walsh who sells unicorn horns.

Chadwick: Are those the unicorn horns? Me: Make a perception check. (He rolls low) They look like unicorn horns to you. Chadwick: How much money do I have? Me: 25 gold. Chadwick: I turn to him and ask to have one. Me as Walsh: I wouldn’t be in business if I just handed this shit out for pennies! It’s 300 gold or scram, son. Chadwick: I pick him up and slam his face into the table. Me: Fucking hell, alright, roll to attack. (He rolls high, deals 5 damage) You bash Walsh’s head down onto the table and one of his teeth is knocked right out. Chadwick: I tell Walsh to give me a unicorn horn. Me: He’s groaning and trying to staunch the blood coming out of his mouth. “God damn it! Fine if you want one take one. They’re not even real ya bastard. My cousin up the Sword Coast hunts narwhals, alright?” Chadwick: I take a narwhal horn. Also, his tooth. Me: His what? Chadwick: The tooth I knocked out. I take it off the table, put it in my pocket, and wink. Then I walk away. Me: ….Walsh is now reevaluating his line of work.

Chadwick later killed a snake with the narwhal horn, and started making a habit out of collecting trophies from bodies. His inventory currently contains Walsh’s tooth, 4 snake fangs, centipede mandibles, and the trachea of a green hag.

He ripped out the trachea with his teeth.

dxactivatxdusxr

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

fitzefitcher

#this is team skull

its-just-a-phage

The pet store I worked at had a pen with rabbits near the front door. On every side of the pen were huge signs saying “You can pet me, but don’t pick me up!” One day two absolutely huge guys came in and one immediately reaches into the pen to grab a rabbit. Before i could say anything his friend grabbed his arm and asked him “did you see the sign?” He said “yeah! it says that you can pick them up but don’t pet them!” Then he went quiet for a moment and softly said “I didn’t read it right did I?” And his friend just puts his arm on his shoulder and said “its ok, i know you’ve got that thing where words get mixed up. Let just pet these cute lil shits” And I still haven’t gotten over that interaction.

yallmightt

I was walking my dog through Boston bc he likes the likes car rides. He’s a little thing tbh we call him short and long. So this huge scary man with a full beard approaches me like “hey can my buddy and I pet your dog? He gets nervous around dogs but your’s is so small I think it’s a good place to start.” Ofc I was like “yes he’s very friendly!” So this guy brings his equally big friend over and they sit on the floor while this man looks terrified of my tiny dog so big man number one asks “can I pick him up?” And i say yes so he picks him up and puts him on man number two’s lap and man number two is abt to freak out and his friend straight up just goes “hey man, it’s okay just relax I’d never let anything hurt you. He’s a good boy.” I’ll never forget it ever bc I know that man looked at me (5'3 , glasses, probably wearing a sweater vest) and my dog (kinda goofy looking little thing) and was like ‘ah yes the two least intimidating living things I’ve seen in Boston all day he’ll feel relaxed around them’ and went out of his way to help his friend. It makes me so happy

mintycoolnessisrelevant

A good post, pure.

casper-the-friendly-being-blog

Another adorable story has been added.

de-is-me-deactivated20180626

can I have these posted right under the politics section in the newspaper? I feel like we need that kinda positivity rn.

themysteryoftheunknownuniverse

Garnet is my favourite

bennyamd

Ded

joaquinterrero-archive

if u don’t kiss ur cat on their tiny soft little forehead wtf are u even doing

pussylightlytoasted

Yelling at her for trying to eat plastic

bennyamd

yes.

our-kpopreact

Wifi: connected

Me:

chelseaperetti

shiroganehs

tessmontyart

A cute comic drawn to the lyrics of Owl City’s new Christmas song, ‘Humbug’! I highly recommend playing the song and reading along~ :)

I honestly could not pick one lyric, I love the whole song! I haven’t done some Owl City fanart for a while so this massive comic might make up for my absence…? :P

MERRY CHRISTMAS! ^_^

-Love from tessmontyart (previously rockcandypassion ;) )

textures and brushes used: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]