summary. as you’re getting the family ready for a trip, you reminisce on your relationship with Michael and the road to you two finding out how to accept your differences and find balance with one another.
. thriller to invincible era!Michael x fblack!reader .
8.7k tooth rotting fluff. very light angst. falling in love. being in love. reader likes horses. married couple. detailed meet cute. snapshots of your life together. whimsical. badtour. reader has locs per request (but anyone can enjoy). very very lightly suggestive content. they’re just silly. down to earth southerner reader x city boy michael. no age gap (same age). reader adjusting to michael’s lifestyle. long distance. holistic and earthy reader. confessions of love. nature symbolism. spans from ‘82 —‘03.
notes. oh boy my longest fic yet, hope it doesn’t flop, apologies if it’s choppy and mistake ridden, I’ve never written this much. based on this req
The early morning California dawn was settling over the skyline signaling the time to wake up and begin the day.
But for you, the day had started far earlier than that as you were packing to get ready for a family trip you, your husband and kids were taking.
You hadn’t been back home in the years since you got married. It was always just never the right time— you and Michael in a constant state of motion caught up in the business that was your life.
Finding time to slow down has been getting increasingly more difficult these last few months. And that was especially true with two kids running around— though they weren’t terribly behaved at all, they were still kids who could be as rambunctious as a circus at times.
Life being married to Michael Jackson wasn’t always an easy one. In fact, the beginning of your relationship had been quite tumultuous. Learning to accept one another’s polarizing lifestyles was quite a hurdle for both of you looking back at your relationship.
It was fall of ‘82, when you’d first met. Your family owned a private multi-acre ranch, offering horseback rides over trails in the area— a previously popular touristy destination but, at the time, had been seeing fewer and fewer customers. It wasn’t detrimental to the business yet but you’d speculate a few more years before your father would have to start thinking about selling or coming up with more ideas to bring business.
You’d been especially frustrated with the whole thing— it was your home. Where you grew up, where you were formed into the person you were. It saw every phase of your life from birth to early adulthood.
It was where you had your last memories of your mom before she passed.
The thought of having to abandon the place and pack up to move elsewhere was terrifying to you. But something had looked down upon you with great kindness that year, having sympathy for your situation. Because that was the year that your life had changed forever.
You had been tending your beautiful Appaloosa, a gorgeous mocha brown horse known for its amalgamation of random patterns and spots smattered across its fur. Yours, whom you’d affectionately named Cinnamon— a name you had your 11 year old self to thank for— had a completely white backside, a few blots of the dark brown coloring affecting the area. Describing him to others was always hard because his patterning truly was random. Like someone dipped a brush in black ink and flicked it on his coat.
You glided your fingers through the hair at his nape, detangling while he leaned down to assist you, a fact you were grateful for because of his size. He’d grown to be bigger than you’d imagined.
It was early autumn, the mild autumn breeze carrying the smell of fresh air and the crinkle of leaves creating a calming euphony of sound.
“It’s such a nice day out Cin. Might be a good day for a ride, what’d you think?” your voice rang unanswered as you began humming under your breath a song you’d had stuck in your head from the radio. You adored music but you weren’t super up to date on all the latest stuff.
For one, you didn’t use the tv a lot but you didn’t exactly see it as a loss. It was just a part of your family's lifestyle— preferring to spend more time outside than on technology. But you did indulge from time to time.
You’d been so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed a small audience headed in your direction— distantly hearing voices.
“You’re a beginner right? Well we have plenty to see, this property truly is my pride and joy. Beautiful foliage and there's a creek down a few miles thataway, and a small waterfall. And you came at the perfect time, the setting sun light hits the water so nice.” your father gushed at who you assumed was a customer.
It brought a small smile to your face to hear him be so passionate about this place. He loved it just as much as you did, if not more, and took great pride in the property.
“Oh that sounds wonderful, doesn’t it Bill?” a soft slightly breathy voice spoke up, a bit closer now, above the crunching of shoes on gravel.
You pressed a small kiss to Cinnamon before crossing back over the fence and dusting your hands off on your pants.
“Ah there she is. This my daughter, she knows the trail like the back of her hand really, front of it too. Practically learned to walk on it.” your father who you’d seen approach your side spoke. You giggled at his words despite the absurdity of you learning to walk on an 1000 plus acre plot of land— it was true.
“Oh stop I don’t—“ you looked up, breath caught in your throat, eye widening a fraction.
When Michael recalls this moment, he says that your eyes were “comically wide and ready to bulge from your head” but you disagree.
“Sorry I couldn’t warn you a bit more about our guest but you’re not busy are you?” your father looked in your direction pleadingly, but you hadn’t torn your eyes from who was in front of you.
Standing in the middle of your ranch in the middle of nowhere Texas on a random fall afternoon.
There was another man standing behind him, tall with a white hat and coat, hands firmly behind his back.
Michael noticed your attention on him and his own eyes widened, a sheepish smile appearing on his face as he shifted from one foot to the other, hands tucked firmly in his pockets.
“I hope I haven’t caused any inconvenience with my sudden visit, I just wanted an opportunity to ride horses in a quiet place— away from it all.” he had a voice like pure silk, the softest kind that held a unique tambre. One you’d never heard so close.
“Oh no of course not, don’t worry about it son. We’re more than happy to have you. Truth be told Michael, we don’t really get many visitors here so to have you visit is a blessing.” your father spoke reassuringly while you, unfortunately, hadn’t said anything. Completely dumbfounded is what you were because you may not have had much tv time growing up but you knew Michael Jackson. Everyone did.
And right now, he was looking at you expectantly while you tried to pick your shock up and shove it down somewhere out of sight.
“Yeah, no it’s no problem at all m’not busy.” you smiled at him.
“Great, will it be the two of you?” your father gestured to Michael and, the man who’s name you assumed was ‘Bill’ as he’d called him. They seemed to exchange a glance before Bill shook his head.
Michael turned back to your father, eyes darting in your direction in a quick moment. “No it’ll just be me.”
Which meant that you’d be alone with him.
“Okay well I hope you enjoy your time here Mr. Jackson. Mr. Bray, you like cards?” your father raised a brow and the men nodded at one another before stalking off back towards the property. Your fathers outgoing nature had a way of drawing people in like that.
Now left alone with Michael, you just sat and stared at one another for a long, slightly awkward moment — observing.
“Oh I just realized I never introduced myself, apologies,” you told him your name and offered your hand. And he slid his much larger and slightly warmer palm into yours, callouses meeting the skin of your own as you shook hands.
“Jus’ give me one moment to finish up here and I’ll be right with you.” you gestured to Cinnamon and the gear you’d gotten out earlier.
“I could help if— if you’re okay with that.” he spoke a little unsure. You looked down at his attire— perfectly pressed slacks, a button up shirt and pennyloafers. He looked faultless, not a perfect jerry cult out of place on his pretty head. Decidedly not ready to trudge through lord knows what was in the horse pasture.
“Are you sure, I don’t want you to get your pretty clothes messed up.” you gestured to his outfit.
“Oh I promise it’s no big deal. I want to help.” you shrugged then. You weren’t gonna turn down the extra hand. You opened the fence and held it for him to walk through leading him into the open expanse and towards the stables as he lugged some of the gear. You had Cinnamon’s harness wrapped firmly in your hand as you led him.
And Michael Jackson on your left side keeping stride with you— a fact you still couldn’t believe.
“Sorry about the smell.” you wrinkled your nose more for effect because you were used to it by now, having grown up here.
“It’s alright, trust me I’m used to it too.” your brows rose a bit as you looked at him sideways.
“Really? D’you have animals?” he must’ve heard the clear excitement you were unable to hide because he lit up like Christmas came early.
“Yeah sooo many. I have a llama, chimp, tigers, a snake, giraffe, deer, a bunch of others. I love taking care of them.”
“Wiat you have a llama?” you shrieked in surprise a bit louder than you might’ve liked.
“Yeah, d’you like llamas.” he turned to look at you fully, loafers crunching over leaves.
“I love them. They’re probably my second favorite animal, horses being first of course.”
“Oh yeah, well what do you like about them?” the question caught you bit off guard but you already knew the answer.
“They have beautiful symbolism surrounding resilience, strength, and perseverance. It’s really inspiring to me.” you trailed off a bit shy but he was listening very attentively.
“Sorry I like symbolism a lot.”
“No it’s okay. What about horses?” he questioned genuinely interested.
“I suppose it just depends but they can act as a bridge between the physical and spiritual realm and can guide people to master their own energy. They have unbridled spirit and are very loyal creatures.” you rambled on.
Michael didn’t say anything for a moment, the silence building around you two. You thought you’d weirded him out for a moment before he finally spoke.
You didn’t say anything back, just tucked your head down, your hair falling over your face as you bit back a small smile.
You two finally approached the stables the sounds of hoofs hitting dirt getting louder at your entrance.
“Oh wow, they’re all so beautiful.” you began to lead Cinnamon to a stall as Michael approached another down the line.
“I wouldn’t try to touch Pearl, she’s been really irritable recently.” you’d tried to warn but he’d already begun to stick his hand out and before he could heed your words and pull it back, Pearl had approached him, dropping her head to lean into him.
A bright blinding smile lit up Michael’s face and you wished you could have taken a photo of the moment and saved it forever, as he gently stroked what he could reach of her.
“Hey girl, you’re not irritable are you?” he spoke to her just loud enough for you to hear and you almost laughed. She just likes attention from a pretty face. And you couldn’t blame her. Not when the prettiest face you’d ever seen was standing a few feet away speaking gently to your horses.
“I promise she’s not normally like that. I suppose she likes you.” he seemed to have a natural calming aura the way the animals were drawn to him so easily.
Realizing you’d been staring for a bit you clasped your hands and spoke, “Okay, based on your height and weight, I believe that Apollo may work well for you. He’s beginner friendly and friendly in general so that’s always a plus.” Michael let out a small giggle at your joking as you led him to another stall.
Apollo, a deep brown Quarter Horse, was a gift from one of your dads old riding buddies— he was selling his farm and Apollo would’ve been left with no home. At the time, you honestly hadn’t had a clue where to put him because you were just starting out and he was pretty decently sized. But he was a sweetheart and no one wanted him to end up anywhere else so he ended up becoming a part of the family as one of your first on the ranch.
As you approached Apollo to guide him out, a thought occurred to you. “You did sign the necessary paperwork right?”
“Oh yes of course, your father handled all that.” you nodded.
You began going through the process of preparing Apollo for riding, saddling him up, making a rough estimate of Michael’s height and length in adjusting the stirrups.
“First, before we do any riding, I have to teach you a few basic safety things.” Michael nodded listening intently at your explanations. Having his attention so firmly placed on you was making you a bit nervous admittedly, but this was important so you pushed through.
You quickly went through explaining some fundamentals, such as horse behaviors, signals and to stay out of blind spots— the best places to approach and to do so calmly.
He took to all the information well and listened actively to everything you said. It was more obvious he’d listened when he approached, using all the things you’d told him and being very mindful of Apollo's space.
Watching the two interact was very sweet.
Once it was time for him to mount, you demonstrated the motion— approach from the left and place your left foot in the stirrup, then use momentum to swing your right leg over.
“Okay now you try.” you held firmly on the harness to keep Apollo still.
Michael raised one eyebrow shyly and brought a hand up to palm at the back of his neck. You gestured your head lightly towards the horse, encouraging him.
“You’re not gonna laugh if I mess up are you?”
He sighed before approaching. He was a little off balance— as most people were the first time— and when he tried to swing his leg over, he underestimated, causing him to stumble to the ground in a clumsy heap on one leg.
You covered your mouth to hide the giggle that threatened to break out. It really wasn’t professional to laugh.
“You said you weren’t gonna laugh.” he whined as he looked back at you, one hand planted on Apollo's saddle, a grin breaking out on his handsome face.
“M’sorry, I promise I’ll stop.” he clearly didn’t believe you because he raised his eyebrow not tearing his eyes from yours as you fought back giggles climbing up your throat.
He shook his head and bit his bottom lip before turning back, a gesture that was way too attractive to be real.
You cleared your throat. “Try with more force this time, a little bit more than you think you’d need.”
The second time was a lot better, still a bit clumsy but he’d managed to mount solidly.
“That was good.” you made eye contact then, holding each other's gaze for a long moment before you cleared your throat, for the millionth time, breaking the exchange.
God he probably thought you had laryngitis or something.
You moved through the rest of the orientation part of riding before you decided he was ready to go.
Michael turned out to be a really good rider, a fact that surprised you a bit. He seemed to have a natural way with Apollo that kept him completely at ease.
The trail you were riding on wasn’t a long one and you two made your way at a leisurely pace, taking in the scenery and breathing in the air while making light conversation.
“So, how long has your family been here?” he asked quietly.
“Since I was born really, and a few years before that. My grandfather had this place before my dad did.” your voice carried with the sound from the leaves falling from the trees as you two passed.
Michael hummed a small sound under his breath in response.
“Is it just you and your dad here?” your turned your head a way the way you always did when the topic of your family was brought up.
“Yeah, just me and dad. My mom— she passed a few years ago.” you saw Michael’s head jerk in your direction, his expression crestfallen.
“It’s alright, she was very sick for a long time and I like to believe she’s somewhere better now.” you were grateful for the memory of your mother and though her loss was a hard one, her memory would forever live on through you and your father.
You decided then was a good time to change the subject, “What made you wanna come all the way out here? It’s kinda surprising that a big star would want to.” you weren’t trying to be rude, just genuinely curious.
“I guess I just needed a change of scenery to be honest. To slow down, y’know?” he spoke as he took in the expansive space surrounding you.
“Yeah I bet it gets real busy in your world huh?” you could only imagine.
“Oh you have no idea. And I don’t want it to sound like m’ complaining because I’m very grateful for what I do but,” his voice trailed, a small sigh escaping, leaving the statement open ended.
“Lonely, like you got constant pressure around you and you’re just there not sure what to do to navigate or release it.” you were speaking from your own experience, not knowing how much he related at the moment.
“I get that. Though I’m not dealing with your scope of problems, I know the feeling.” you two made eye contact then from atop your respective horses, a quiet understanding passing between you two without words needing to be exchanged.
“Oh, we’re coming up on the creek now.” you gestured with your head and he followed your line of sight to the small enclosure opening up ahead. As you got closer the sound of light flowing water met your ears as the small body of water came into view, different stones of all sizes decorating the inside— the light of the setting sun reflecting all around.
“Woah.” you’d see then sight millions of times but watching Michael experience it for the first time felt magical in itself as his big doe eyes widened, taking in the space.
You both dismounted and you made sure to secure the horses before you both began to walk to the edge.
“We should go in.” he suddenly said, causing you to tilt your head.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I don’t wanna bring you back all wet.” lord knows what his bodyguard would say.
“There’s nothing wrong with bein’ a little wet.” Excuse me? Your eyes widened a bit in shock as you sputtered to come up with a response. Surely he didn’t mean it like that. Get your head out of the creek.
He seemed to notice your momentary bafflement because he burst into a fit of laughter. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Come on.” he didn’t wait as he began descending down the rocks to the edge of the creek leaving you no choice but to follow him. If something happened to Michael Jackson of all people and on your watch? You didn’t even wanna think about it.
You hadn’t really ventured down here yourself, it wasn’t exactly the safest place to go— the rocks making for a slightly hazardous trek. Hence why you never took any visitors down here. But this one wasn’t exactly giving you the option.
“Please be careful, Michael.” you said as you followed after him.
“You worry too much.” his voice called from in front.
“And how would you know that when we just met?” you fired back.
“It’s written all over that forehead— worry lines.” no way he just said that.
“Okay firstly, I pride myself on living stress free — most of the time. And I do not have worry lines.” you stopped to press a hand to your brow as if you could smooth the skin down.
“Whatever you say, girl.” he turned back then a toothy grin on his face. It would seem as he warmed up, so did that sass.
You just rolled your eyes, finding the whole thing ammusing.
When you two finally approached the bottom, Michael squatted down reaching a hand to the water. You mirrored his position, squatting down next to him, knees nearly brushing.
You watched for a moment as he guided his hand through, causing the water to ripple then suddenly, you felt something cold hit your face.
“Michael!” you heard him giggle then as you pulled the hem of your shirt up to wipe your face.
“Sorry, it was just too tempting.”
“Fine then.” you took a handful of water and launched it right at his face— to which he just closed his eyes and rolled his lips in a tight line as the water trickled and drenched the front of his button down.
“I don’t think you wanna play this game with me.”
“Bring it.” you shot up from your haunches then before running in the opposite direction, not before reaching towards the water to splash him again. It turned out to be a mistake as he’d already got another handful of water, and with how large his hands were, it was no small amount of water— you’d practically drowned.
You two went back and forth, splashing each other and running around as best you could. He got you much more than you got him, a fact you thought was completely unfair. He was way too good at this.
Just when you thought you’d managed to evade him he’d run up behind you and swing water in your face.
At some point he just grabbed you and tossed you into the creek, just to easier attack you.
“Okay okay I surrender oh my gosh.” you were half in his arms then water up to both your calves— soaking wet and giggling at each other.
You two didn’t speak for a long moment trying to catch your breath. He didn’t seem to notice he was still holding onto you— but you definitely did. Because every spot where his hands touched you was scalding hot and hard to ignore.
At the time you didn’t know how much the closeness was affecting Michael too, while he tried his hardest to appear unaffected by the closeness of your body to his, the warmth of your palms on his chest. His eyes began looking around in nervousness before they landed on a small distraction.
“Oo what’s that?” you turned your head in the direction he was facing, your heads adjacent to each other.
Further down, off tucked into a corner was a willow tree— branches and narrow leaves sprawling out over the water with foliage decorating the surrounding water.
You weren’t even sure how you’d lived here your whole life and never noticed it before.
“Let’s go check it out.” he unwrapped his arms from your body, a fact that left you colder than you would like to admit and started walking in the direction of the tree.
“I didn’t even know this was here.” the tree wasn’t an overly large one— more on the smaller side but beautiful nonetheless.
“It’s amazing.” he tilted his head back hands reaching out to touch the narrow leaves.
You two sat under the tree and talked for a long while, but in the moment, it didn’t feel so long at all. It was like the world had slowed to just that moment— you and him sitting up under a willow tree.
You told him more about your mom and he told you about his family, it was the type of conversation you could only have with a stranger. Completely honest and open. You spoke about everything that came to mind.
That day was probably one of the best days of your life as you recall— the day you met your other half.
That evening, Michael took a stick and carved both your initials into the bark of the tree. He said it was because he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to come back, but when he did, he wanted to remember this moment.
From then, your relationship blossomed into something special. You found you were very fond of the popstar and he was with you as well. Though sometimes you remember feeling as though you were galaxies apart, despite being on the same planet.
You’d later learned Michael had been in town for a concert a city over, one he’d tried to invite you to— to which you politely declined. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to go see him, you just weren’t sure you were ready for something like that yet. To be out of your environment— or to leave your dad alone. But he promised to call and come back to see you.
And he kept that promise.
“Well I am now.” you rolled over in your bed and looked at the clock on your nightstand— it was exactly 12:30 in the morning.
“Sorry for waking you up,” he paused before adding, “well not really.” you heard some light rustling on the other end of the phone.
Something you’d learned about Michael in these past months is that he rarely slept. You knew how much the tour had been grating on his sleep and general wellbeing— a fact you weren’t too fond of. You could only imagine how the adrenaline of performing felt still coursing through your veins hours later.
“Fighting sleep again?” you spoke with your face still smashed into the plushness of your pillow.
“Course not, m’ eight hours ahead.” you knew he was probably lying but you let it slide with a quiet “hmm”.
“You know you need to be sleepin’. It’s not good for you.”
“I know. I just wanted to hear your voice. I promise I’ll sleep just gimme a few minutes.” he pleaded and of course, you couldn’t say no— never could.
“How’s things at the ranch, Pearl still causing trouble?” he asked softly. He always asked about the horses when he called.
“Yeah she’s doing much better now. I think she misses you though.”
“Is she the only one?” the question caught you off guard though the answer came easy.
It’d been about a month and half since you’d seen him, and it was taking a small toll on you to be away from him for so long. But you of course were completely supportive and didn’t want to make him feel like he had to pick between you or his career. You’d never do that to him, no matter how much you missed him.
And the distance didn’t get much easier.
More time passed, you spent all you time tending to the ranch, helping your father to boost popularity, the effort was small but not thankless. Things would be okay for a while longer.
And Michael had the tour, his family, the glitz and glamour that came with the level of fame and exposure he was getting. And with him working on his next project, long studio hours that left him with little time for much, finding time to come and visit you was getting harder and harder.
“So, the tours about to be over soon.” it was another late night, Michael calling just as you’d began settling into bed.
“Yeah— honestly as proud of you as I am for doing the tour even when you didn’t want to, I’m glad it’s over.” he huffed a breath into the receiver, exhaustion bleeding through.
“Trust me, I am too. I love my brothers but this whole thing has been exhausting. I just wish I had more control.” you could could see how restless he’d been getting between his father being on his back. He spent enough late nights complaining and explaining his frustrations about the whole situation.
“But I didn’t wanna complain about that again, I had a question for you.” your nerves began to pick up slightly because you had a feeling of what he was gonna ask you.
“Would you maybe want to come visit me in Cali, sometime soon?” his question hung in the air, voice lilting up at the end like he was afraid to even broach the subject.
He’d mentioned you coming to visit him a few times now, but you’d inadvertently shut it down stating that you didn’t wanna leave your dad alone, and that you had responsibilities on the ranch.
And you opened your mouth to tell him just that.
“Michael m’not sure I mean dad—“
“I actually already called and asked him if it was okay. And he said yes. He also said he wasn’t sure why you were using him as an excuse because he, quoting, “wasn’t that damn old yet.” he chuckled slightly at the memory of your fathers voice on the line.
“Michael! You asked my dad? Wait, how often do you two talk?” you squinted like he could see you in the first place. You could only imagine what the two talked about.
“We talk periodically. I just call to check on him , the ranch, get and give advice, and to see from his point of view how you’re doing.” the thought of him caring enough to reach out to your dad warmed your heart— but you weren’t gonna let him off that easy.
“You went behind my back.” you said curtly.
“Yes buuuut if you come to Encino, I’ll be sure to make it completely up to you.” you could hear the grin in his voice, holding no remorse whatsoever.
You pretended to think for a long moment before answering.
“Okay, I guess.” you rolled your eyes but deep down you were pretty excited. You’d never been to California before, or anywhere really.
And boy was it a culture shock for you. About two weeks later, you found yourself on a plane seated beside Michael, his hand clasped firmly in yours and your eyes clamped shut against the turbulence.
“Juts ignore it baby it’s not actually happening.” Michael tried to comfort you and you pried one eye open to side eye him, and he just smiled playfully at you.
Michael was not shy about your relationship, seemingly wanting to tell the whole world, or at least all his closest friends and family.
Regarding the public, he’d never hide you but he’d respect your wishes of wanting to be out of the public sphere.
Most of his family adored you, his mother, sisters, and brothers welcoming you with open arms— maybe even literally in Marlon’s case.
“So this is why you been disappearing on us. Done went out and got yourself a girl.” Marlon grinned and elbowed his brother.
“About time you brought her around Mike.” the one you knew as Jackie spoke.
“Yeah, just had her hidden away, I’ve been wanting to see what’s got you giggling at your phone all night.” that one was Jermaine.
“Where’d you find her at Mike, she’s real pretty.” the one who was introduced as Randy sidled up next to you slinging an arm over your shoulder. You noticed a small pout forming on your boyfriends face and you giggled.
“How old are you?” you raised a brow at Randy.
“You don’t even look over eighteen yet.” that caused everyone, except Randy, to double over in laughter, nearly tripping over each other and gripping their sides.
“I’m actually twenty two.” Randy rubbed the back of his neck and you did feel a little bad about assuming, which Michael assured you he’d be fine.
Spending time with Michael in California brought you two closer together both physically and emotionally. Being in each other's presence again was so healing for you both.
He’d introduced you to his world, brought you into the studio and to meet his producer, Quincey Jones, he dragged you around town to all his favorite spots. There were also days where you just spent time relaxing in his bedroom, listening to his records and enjoying each other's company. The first few days were perfect, everyday feeling special.
But free time for Michael was of course hard to come by with studio hours, for both himself and his family, who he hadn’t fully weaned away from like he would’ve liked despite the tour being over, and public appearances. It was a lot to deal with.
And you didn’t know it at the time but Michael was also planning to ask you to marry him and trying to set up a life that you both could live, attempting to find a good balance.
When he did finally ask a few month later, you of course said yes, and that’s when he told you for the first time about his plans for a solo tour in a year or so. And that he wanted you to come with him.
“Baby please, I can’t do this without you by my side. I need you there.” he’d begged and begged with a pretty pout and big brown eyes.
And despite your initial apprehension about leaving your world behind for a year and a half for a life constantly on the road, going from country to country, and stadiums full of thousands of screaming fans all across the world, you’d agreed to go. Because you loved Michael and he said he needed you there and you’d do anything for him.
You remembered how hard the tour with his brothers had been on him and you hoped that your presence would be grounding for him.
Watching Michael flourish into his own person on tour and finally have that creative control he craved was wonderful to watch. You’d sit and wait in the wings for the nights you did come— he’d wanted you there every night but you needed to sleep sometimes and staying up until late hours wasn’t good for either of you. Watching him up there looked exhausting so you could only imagine how he felt.
And as he each night came and went you could see the toll it was taking on him. When he came back to the hotel in the early hours of the morning, completely exhausted and limbs aching, you were there for him— through the joint pain, insomnia, and every small sickness.
Fortunately for him, you’d taken up massage therapy as a way to occupy your free time and to find some sort of direction in life, a fact he’d taken considerable advantage of.
“Hmmm oh my god baby that feels so good.” Michael moaned out onto the bed as you rolled your thumbs into his back.
It was still the first leg of the tour and a late night with Michael having just finished one of many concerts scheduled in Tokyo. You weren’t sure how he wasn’t dead yet after the show he’d put on but of course, he was up, and took the liberty of waking you up as well, requesting a massage, citing that it would make him feel better.
Admittedly, you weren’t really that good yet, but you were learning and it was a fun way to pass time.
You gently worked at the muscles of his bare back, hands rubbing the almond oil over his lightly patterned skin.
“Any spot you’d like me to get in particular.” you asked as you kept sweeping over his skin moving to his shoulder blades.
“Yeah a little bit lower please.” he hummed out his face pressed to the plush pillow.
You pressed your palms into his lower back then and must’ve hit a really good spot on him because suddenly he let out a small whimper at the deep circular motions of your hands.
You tried and failed to hide the giggle crawling up your throat but he’d heard it anyway.
“Alright that’s enough of that.” he suddenly got up kneeling onto the bed and grabbing your hands.
You feigned innocence, “What, what I do?”
“I think I wanna try to give you a massage this time.” his eyes held a mischievous glint in them as he tackled you to the bed.
While on tour with him, you’d done your best to take care of Michael, not because you felt you had to, but because you wanted to. And because everyone deserved to have someone in their corner. So when he got sick during a few parts of the tour, you were there right by his bedside.
“Baby this is gross, do I have to drink it?” Michael sat up against the plush pillows of the bed, the mug of camomile and green tea hot in his palms.
“Yes it’s supposed to help you sleep and boost immune support, both of which you could use.” you pressed the mug closer, shifting towards him as you knelt onto the bed.
“But it tastes like grass. Can’t I have peppermint instead?” you were an avid tea drinker and since you’d introduced Michael, he’d gotten a small addiction to peppermint, holding it nearly to the same standard as his precious orange juice, but you suppose there are worse vices.
“Each tea has a purpose, and this one serves yours at the moment so please drink.” he sighed softly and finally brought the cup to his lips and you smiled while he just rolled his eyes at you playfully.
“I love when you go all sexy nurse on me, gonna stay sick forever.”
Touring with Michael often went like that— quiet moments alone together cut between ear splitting screams in a stadium full and you doing your best to keep your fiancé running. He often says that he didn’t know if he actually could’ve done it without you being there for him.
That the thought of the intense loneliness and anxiety probably would’ve gotten to him if the constant sickness didn’t. So you were grateful to be there to support him, it was an experience you’d never forget and some of the best moments of your life.
You got to see the world together and not many couples could say they had the opportunities you two had.
It was inevitable that your relationship started garnering more public attention. Michael had done his best to keep you as protected as he could, and he’d done a great job but you’d been together for so long now it was becoming more exhausting to avoid the topic of your relationship.
When you two finally went public, it was exactly what you might’ve expected— a cacophony of excitement, confusion, incredulity, and disbelief. The tabloids were less than kind, as they’d always been with anything regarding Michael, a fact that pissed you off to no end. But neither of you let that threaten the peace of your relationship because you knew that nothing mattered outside of this— what you two had.
Many people— mostly your side of the family, questioned your decisions, they thought it was odd for you to have to give up your life for your man but you didn’t see it that way at all. You chose to be there for him and he’d given you so much happiness in return, spoiled you in every way humanly possible— and given you so many experiences that you never would have had if you’d just stayed in your little bubble on the ranch in Texas.
You often think that you’d never truly lived until you met Michael.
He never failed to express his appreciation for your presence in his life, often stating that he didn’t deserve you, which you constantly disagreed with.
You’d done the normal thing that all couples do— settled down, built a beautiful home, had kids— though a little more extravagant. And never once had you had any resentment towards how things have turned out because you were beyond blessed and wouldn’t change any part of your life for anything.
“I can take that out to the car.” Michael brushed his hand against yours as he moved to grab the suitcase you’d just dragged by the door.
“I already got the kids strapped in so we should be ready to go now. But I feel like I’m forgettin’ somthin’.” you inspected your husband before landing on his head— that quite frankly looked a mess. Like a small hurricane, or Paris’ fingers, had blown through and mussed it all up.
You giggled slightly and beckoned him closer, “C’mere.”
He closed the distance between you and immediately brought his face closer to yours for a kiss, which you dodged in favor of fixing his hair.
“I wasn’t going for a kiss, I was trying to fix your hair.” you smoothed your fingers through the strands while he pouted down at you.
“But I still want my kiss.” he moved his hands around you to play through your hair— the small locs twisting in his fingers. Your hair was getting quite heavy, which is why you were thinking of cutting it, something that Michael vehemently opposed. He loved your hair how it was— the long strands draping over your back but he was never one to tell you what to do with your appearance. But you’d taken what he said into consideration.
“Okay done.” you stepped back slightly or attempted to but he held a firm hand around your back.
“Michael we’re gonna be late.” he just shook his head grinning down at you.
“You know what I want girl and the faster I get it, the quicker we can go.”
“You’re insufferable.” you said with no small amount of fondness before you pulled up on your toes and planted a peck to his lips. But of course, it could never just be that and lasted much longer. He’d brought your body flush to his closing the distance and deepening the kiss.
You’d just let out a small moan and started to really get into it when he broke from you abruptly, “Okay, we can go now.” he spoke cheekily before beginning to drag the suitcase to the car.
“That’s not even fair.” you spoke under your breath following after him.
Your vacation plan to go back to your family’s was born from your thought of how beneficial it would be for you all to get some fresh air.
What you hadn’t known at the time was that there was a family gathering happening for the holidays, a fact you hadn’t been too happy about when your father sprung it on you.
“Dads been begging us, well mostly you, to come out, how long has it been?” you spoke in a hushed voice so as to not wake the kids sleeping in the back as you drove to the airport.
“Last visit was around when Paris was born. I doubt she even remember the place. And with princes attention span I doubt he does either.” you laughed quietly peering back at his sleeping form. You hoped they all stayed sleep through the flight.
“Well I’m sure they’ll love it. They’re finally old enough to ride so that’ll be first on the agenda.”
“I’m sure they’re gonna love it.” Michael clasped your hands together, interlocking your fingers.
“So, how much of your family that I haven’t met is coming out?” Michael hadn’t really met much of your extended family, you’d always both been so busy that it was near impossible to meet up with anyone. And most of them never bothered to visit dad or the ranch even before. You loved your family but you could all be so self focused sometimes. They’d missed an entire chapter of your life.
And your wedding had been a very private ceremony— a fact that most of your family was upset about in the end.
“Well my cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents, they’ve all heard about you but I’m not sure how many of them have put two and two together about us so,” you sighed hoping that there wasn’t going to be too much commotion or problems arising from you or him being there.
Michael could see your worry immediately and brought your hands up to his lips placing a gentle kiss, “I’m sure it’ll all be fine.”
As it would happen, things went about as well as you’d expected them to. Complete shock melting into perturb, then quiet acceptance.
Michael was carefully brought into your slightly dysfunctional family unit with ease. Everyone was vying for his attention with your father having called dibs on the man so they could catch up in the way they did.
You always wondered what they talked about but ultimately decided that it wasn’t your business and was between them. But from a distance you could see the immense love they had for one another, a fact that made you beyond happy.
As the sun began to set, everyone slowly filtered out from the property as you settled the kids in one of the guest rooms for bed. You and Michael decided to head out for a ride on the ranch— for old times sake.
“D’you think you still got it?” Michael asked as you two made the familiar trek out into the pasture towards the stables.
You gave him a stink eye, “Baby I never lost it, what are you talking about.” you two had horses at Neverland of course but riding rarely ever happened.
“I don’t know baby you gettin’ a bit up there.” he shrugged lightly as he fought off his grin. Mind you, you two were the same age.
“And riding has no age limit, a fact you should know well.” that seemed to shut him up and he looked away from you while you noticed a small flush crawling up his neck.
“Oh my gosh, Michael get your head outta the creek.” you lightly shoved his arm and he burst out laughing with you. It all felt very familiar.
The feeling only enhanced when you two rode through the trail, the scenery washing over you both as you breathed in the air. Michael had been quiet for a while, causing you to prompt him.
“Somthin’ on your mind?” he bit at the skin of his lip for a moment, whatever was on his mind clearly worrying him.
“I’m just thinkin’ about how peaceful it is here. And about how different it is from our everyday lives.” thoughts began to form in your mind about where his head was at.
“Yeah it’s very nice, I love it here.” your answer only seemed to make him retreat into his head more.
“Do you ever wish we could just slow down sometimes, that things could be like this all the time— not so hectic?” his eye met yours then and you could see a world of doubt forming in his irises, the light of the setting sun reflecting off his eyes.
“Hmm I mean of course it’s a lot to deal with sometimes, and it might be nice to take a break,” he seemed to deflate before you continued, “but I love my life with you and the kids and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.”
“Michael what’s this about?” he hesitated before answering eyes focused firmly ahead on the trail.
“I just don’t want you to resent me. For taking you away from your quiet life and thrusting you into mine.” you furrowed your brows.
“You’ve given up so much for me, and I feel like I know how this life can affect people. I just don’t want you to grow to hate me for it.” you two were coming up on the creek now so you stopped and dismounted being sure to secure the horses before you stepped into Michael’s space.
“Michael, listen. I love you. And I love the life that we have together. You’ve given me more joy and happiness than I’d ever known before I met you. I would never resent you for that.” he seemed to shake his head as he peered somewhere past you.
“I say that because it’s true. I loved being here, it was my home for a long time. But now I see my home as wherever you are because you are the love of my life. And I could never grow to hate you. I made all those sacrifices willingly and yes it was hard to have to be away from you for so long at a time, then to have to be away from home, but if given the choice I would do it all over again for you.” you noticed his eyes starting to water then as he looked at you and you brought him into your arms, wrapping him into a tight hug.
“I really don’t deserve you.” he spoke softly into your shoulder.
“I love you so much. I couldn’t live without you by my side.” he gripped you tighter.
Once you both had calmed down a bit, the air felt much lighter. The sun had nearly fully set now, fading into dusk. The pale light of the full moon was shining onto the area making it much easier to see than you would’ve expected.
“D’you think that old willow is still there?” Michael asked, already pulling his shoes and socks off to trudge through the water to look. God he was still so reckless.
“Michael I know you aren’t about to do what I think you’re about to do.” but he’d already stepped in, the water sinking into his dress pants.
“C’mon it’ll be fine.” you sighed before pulling off your own shoes and following after him— like you always did.
The water was nearly pitch black, and it dawned on you how completely crazy and dangerous this was, especially at night.
“What, you sacred?” Michael turned back to you, grinning as you gripped onto the back of his shirt, swearing you felt something brush your ankle.
Once you two made it onto the bank of the willow tree you sat underneath its flowing branches. The heat of the summer season made it a bit warm even at night.
You’d been talking, about anything really, backs pressed firmly to the trunk of the willow. You distantly noticed Michael reaching out and plucking the small flowers that dotted along the surrounding grass.
You turned lightly against the tree when something caught your eye, “Do you remember the day we first met?” you began and he scoffed slightly.
“Do I remember the day I met the love of my life, hmm I don’t know.” he sarcastically responded and you nudged him lightly with your elbow.
“Smartass.” but it was fond.
“Michael look.” you turned to face him, pointing a finger towards the tree where a light carving of your and his initial had been weathered at lightly.
“Wow, it’s been so long, I’m surprised it’s still here.” you said quietly, thumb brushing over the engraving.
“Well I’m not, I think it’ll be here as long as we’re together and this tree is still standing.” you peered over at him and he had the sweetest burning look on his face as he gazed at you.
“Sometimes I look at you and just wanna marry you all over again.” he gently took your hands in his pulling you closer before you felt something light land on your head. A small bunch of wildflowers, weaved together.
“Wait I have an idea.” a few moments later you both had matching rings made of loosely knotted flowers adorning your ring fingers.
You both knelt close together in front of the carving you’d both made all those years ago, hands clasped tightly in one another’s.
“Yea but it’s okay because I love you.” his words melted over your heart.
That night, with the moon as your witness, Michael took a stick, like he’d done years ago, and drew a heart around both your initials in the tree as you both renewed old promises made and made a new promise to each other.
“I never want our relationship to be unbalanced in any way. I want our love to last forever and to be a beautiful partnership between us both. I want to start a new chapter in our life. And maybe settle down sometime soon. I was thinking we could come here.” his words came out in a jumble.
“Really? You know I am happy with you and the way things are, right? I never want to force you to do something you don’t want.” he shook his head.
“No, I want this. For both of us. And our family. And I want moments like this, under this tree with my beautiful wife all the time.” you couldn’t take the distance anymore and pulled him down so his lips met yours in a passionate kiss, sealing your vows forevermore.
And underneath the light of the full moon your hearts beat as one, joined together forever.
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