❝ if it’s something stupid you want, you could always do me, ❞ she replied with a teasing smile, legs sprawled lazily over the length of the sofa. ❝ or we could steal a trolley, that sounds like fun too, ❞ she added before bringing her cigarette to her lips and taking a drag.
Ben took a drag from his own cigarette, contemplating her proposition. “We can do both. The entire night is ours, babe.” He sat on the part of the couch that was free from her legs. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”
“There were much better reasons than that. I mean, you were the cutest boy in freshman year, after all” There was no denying that she had loved him when they were together. They were borderline disgusting back in the day, attached at the hip. To this day she still believed that he was so much more and so much better than he thought of himself. That was something she still was sure he had hidden deep within himself, that self-doubt- low self-worth. She hoped he had grown out of it but from what she had seen of him since they reunited not a whole lot had changed with Ben “I think he’s got a lot more going on for himself than what he gives credit for. Probably needs to have that drilled in his head, though”
“Oh, weak as hell if you’re cold right now, buddy” Or maybe lucky. When it came to summer time she was dying in every way imaginable. Still, she reached over to give his arms a firm but playful squeeze “Nah, these aren’t ready for winter” she teased, letting her hand fall to her side. She liked this. Where they were. It wasn’t awkward anymore, they had grown enough that the breakup wasn’t something that was too painful to really be around one another. She liked where they were now. “Wait-” she reached back up again, pulling at the sweater so she could get a better look at it “Did my mom get you that?” She asked in disbelief “You still fit into that thing?”
“I was pretty cute, kinda greasy though. I think I went two weeks without washing my hair once, I kinda forgot that people need to wash that.” If only a few things changed about him since Ben was a high schooler, at least it was that he was now cleaner. Other than that, he was the same Ben. He still held onto all his bad habits, and still kept his high school diet of fast food and whatever drink was acidic enough to destroy his insides. “Nah, he’s really not that great. He probably spends most of his free time with a hand down his pants, for no good reason.” That statement made it sound like Ben led a very depressing life, however, that wasn’t very far from the truth.
“That’s not even fair.” Ben took a quick drag from his cigarette, smirking as he exhaled the smoke. His heart fluttered at Heather’s touch. It was something he didn’t feel very often, not like he used to. “Are you calling my arms skinny? I think they’re at a nice size.” They were more on the slender side, but there was an average amount of muscle. Ben wasn’t one to work out, he went to the gym maybe once or twice a month. “Yeah, she bought it for me, it was a little big when she bought it.” He smiled fondly. “You probably wore it more often than I did, back when I used to douse all the clothes I lent to you with Axe Bodyspray.” It was probably a terrible scent, but every high school boy had to go through his Axe phase at least once in their life. “I promise that any clothes that I loan to you will actually smell like a nicer cologne. I splurged at Macy’s and got a nice Dior scent. I don’t know much about brands, but Dior sounded fancy, and it was expensive.”
Astrid was low on energy, it was an odd thing for the usually bubbly woman but she had been out the night before and didn’t get much sleep because of it. “I need caffeine or sugar or something along those lines right now. I feel like I might end up falling asleep somewhere random if I don’t”
“I can definitely help you out with the caffeine.” Ben knew of at least fifteen coffee shops within the area. “What kind of coffee do you like? I like black coffee so I can go anywhere, but I know a place that’s really good with lattes, and a place that’s really good at cold brew, so pick your poison.”
God, that smile. Her shoulder nudged into him playfully at his words and allowing her to avoid having to look directly at him for a moment. “I always loved the cheese” she nodded, eyes landing on him before she let out a quiet, almost nervous laugh. Of course, he would have to ask that question, her reaction to seeing him during the performance was a dead give away and she felt stupid, for a moment, for even bothering to allow it to come to light. But some songs just needed to get out and that was one of them. Her recent feelings had a tendency to pour themselves out “Does a poet ever reveal who their muse is?” She asked somewhat cryptically before adding in a much quieter tone “You know, Ben”
In silence, Heather allowed the boy to talk, enjoying the sound of his voice as he rambled on about cafes and where else he frequented. Her attention, which was usually pretty good at staying on one person or thing, was scattered tonight. Ben’s presence had the habit of affecting her like that these days. Especially when it was somewhat sudden and unexpected. Her attention was only brought back into the conversation when he commented on the chill in the air. Instantly she shook her head, a sceptical grin appearing on her face “You’ve been away from the north too long” she commented “You’ve grown weak- but honestly it’s still so warm out, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this California heat”
“Well I’ve always had the cheese, so maybe that’s why you loved...” Ben’s sentence trailed off, deciding it would probably be better for him just to stop talking. It felt like the first time he ever told her he loved her. He was probably fifteen, a freshman in high school, and didn’t really know what it meant to love someone. Now at twenty-six he really knows how it feels to have his heart ache because it is so full of love. “Whoever that song is about, he’s probably an asshole who lives in a gross apartment, and only ever leaves to get coffee, food for his cat.” Ben had a suspicion the song was about him, but he went along with the joke he had set up. “I’m sure he has some redeeming quality about him though, I can’t think of any off the top of my head, but I’m sure it’s there.”
“Weak?” Ben playfully scoffed. “A weak guy wouldn’t be able to do ten pushups. I got muscles of steel babe.” He wasn’t actually sure if he could do even two pushups, but it felt good to joke around with her. “You probably wouldn’t want this sweatshirt though, it has some weird grease stains.” The sweatshirt has been in Ben’s life since high school. The smell of beer and cigarettes have permeated the sweatshirt, he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away though.
“I’m in the mood to fuck some shit up.” Ben declared after taking a sip of his beer. “Care to join me? We could steal a shopping cart from the store or something stupid like that.”
Nostalgia. That’s what she blamed the fluttering in her stomach on any time she ran into or hung out with Ben. When she was with him it made her feel like she was fourteen years old, awkward and gangly and not the same person she was today. Her palms got sweaty, heartbeat sped up noticeably, and somehow she still managed to stammer over her words. Something she hoped he didn’t notice but Ben always had this habit of being able to read her like a book “You think?” She asked, genuinely interested in his opinion but not touching on the fact that the song was written about him which she knew in that moment had to be painfully obvious. They used to play together all the time, it was how they met, after all. But it had been a long time since he had heard her play and vice versa.
“Yeah, I was on my way outside for some air, anyway” Her hands were shoved into the pockets of her jeans as she took point and began leading the two of them out of the cafe. She didn’t smoke but the fresh air would be nice after that performance “I didn’t realise this was a place you frequented- wasn’t really prepared to see someone I know”
“No, I know you sounded beautiful.” He smiled, letting his teeth show. After processing the sentence that just left his mouth, he realized it sounded kinda dumb. “Sorry, that was cheesy. Like really cheesy. Wow, that’s embarrassing.” Crazy how this girl could still make him clam up after all those years. The room always felt warmer when she was in it. Everything he said felt stupid when she was around, he really had to think carefully about his words. “So about that song. Who was that about?” Ben had a feeling it was about him, but he just wanted her to confirm.
“Oh, perfect, let’s go then.” He smiled following her out of the cafe. Once he plopped a cigarette in between his lips and lit it. He took long, slow, drags from the tobacco product as he spoke to Heather. “I mean, there’s a place closer to my apartment that I go to more often, but this one has the better coffee, so I treated myself.” The coffee place by his house was pretty shitty, but he knew the owners so he felt obligated to be a frequent customer. He sat silently as he finished off his cigarette, putting it out with his shoe once it was done. Usually, one would do the trick but his heart still beat at a fast pace, so he lit up another one. “Jesus Christ, it’s cold out here. Do you want my sweatshirt?” He offered, it wasn’t even that bad out, but it was at least something to break the silence.
There was always a big piece of her heart Heather had left in New York when she made the move to California. The occasional open mic helped calm her homesickness when it reared it’s ugly head. Something that seemed to happen a lot these days. Tribal Cafe was a small home away from home for her, a place she felt comfortable- a cool little place that felt like it belonged someone outside of L.A. Her set was already well underway, one song down and the second already a decent way in when eyes landed on a much too familiar face. For a moment everything froze and the small crowd of cafe patrons faded into black. All there was was her and him. Maybe he wouldn’t notice- wasn’t listening to the words “Then you tell me that you miss me and I’m like,” she stopped for a moment, the piano she sat at going silent, mouth drying a little as she tried to decide whether or not to go on. The silence only lasted a couple seconds before she started playing delicately on the keys, voice much quieter than usual as she came back to the song. It sounded purposeful and for that, she was grateful “Oh God I miss you too” Eye contact was diverted from him as she closed her eyes in order to pretend that.
The song felt agonizingly long and by the time she was finished she couldn’t wait to get off stage and try to slip out of the building before anyone noticed her but it seemed like luck wasn’t on her side as the only person who she managed to run into was Ben. “Oh,” she spoke as if this was her first time noticing him. They both knew that wasn’t true “Hey- what- how are you, Benjo?” Fiery hair was brushed out of her face, body closed off as addressed him “You should have told me you were gonna show up tonight, I might have played something good”
If Ben wasn’t drinking beer, he was definitely drinking something caffeinated, whether it be coffee or some sort of energy drink that had a taste akin to piss. Today he thought coffee would be best after a few nights of drinking enough to blackout. He always took his coffee black, it was just easier that way. He never had to worry about the barista putting enough cream or sugar in his drink. When he came he noticed that the cafe was hosting an open mic night, he decided to stay, and listen to the music. He sat in the back sipping his coffee, and keeping his attention focused on the music. For the few seconds he kept his gaze directed at the floor, a familiar voice filled his room, he looked up and saw her. The redhead he fell in love with all those years ago. He watched every move, and listened to every word she sang, feeling nostalgic of their high school years when he would sit and listen in awe to her playing something on the piano. Soon enough their eyes locked, he didn’t want to get weepy, but he somehow managed to let his eyes moisten and get bloodshot. He wasn’t sure why he felt so emotional about this, he was just always in his feelings.
As her song wrapped up he was just about to leave the building, he was in dire need of a smoke break. He held the pack of Marlboro’s and his white lighter tightly in his grip. His grip was tighter after running into Heather. “Oh hey. You sounded beautiful up there.” He smiled, he wasn’t sure what else to say. “I was just going out for a smoke if you wanted to join me.”
(BRENDON URIE, CISMALE, HE/HIM) you’ve probably already heard of BENJAMIN ODELL through the LA music scene. the 26 year old is the LEAD SINGER of the band THE BACK ALLEY, a(n) POP PUNK band that has 4 members & sounds kind of like FALL OUT BOY, MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE & GREEN DAY. BEN is said to be HIGH ENERGY but also IRRATIONAL. i wonder what bandslam makes of them?
Quick Facts:
Age: 26
Date of Birth: October 3rd, 1991
Zodiac Sign: Libra
Place of Birth: Portland, ME
Sexuality: Bisexual
Fun Facts
Sad and mad at the same time
Has a cat named Squish that he loves very dearly
Lives like a frat boy ninga turtle - red bull, beer, cigarettes, and pizza
“moral backbone of a chocolate éclair.” - John Mulaney
Has odd sleeping habits. Somedays he’s up till 5am other days he’s out at 11pm
Working on getting a tattoo sleeve done on left arm, it’s mostly done.
Knows all the bad movies on Netflix
Watches Queer Eye when he’s sad
NEVER HAS GROCERIES IN HIS HOME
Pinterest Board
Spotify Playlist
Bio:
tw: drugs, alcohol, violence, (near) overdose
Benjamin Odell, better known as just Ben, has always had trouble following him. Ever since he was a little boy he tried to eat his toys, or paint the walls with finger paints. His parents had a hard time keeping up with him, and his two other siblings. Most would say his family was pretty normal, they went to church on Sundays, had a family dinner every night, the kids went to public schools, and the parents worked 9 to 5 jobs. Around his fourteenth birthday, Benjamin decided he would be called just Ben, and started to act out.
Ben would start fights with his classmates just because he could and would bum cigarettes off his older friends. As the rest of his family arrived home from church, he would be coming home from whatever party he went to on Saturday night. This was his idea of a good life.
As a freshman in high school, Ben started to befriend some of his older classmates, and he started to notice women. One girl in particular always caught his attention. Her name was Heather. She had deep blue eyes, red hair, and a passion for music. In order to get her attention, Ben joined his school’s band. He signed up to play percussion because it seemed cool. He was really bad at first, but soon he would get the hang of it. After beating some drums for a few months, music became something he was very passionate about, getting his crush’s attention was also an extra perk.
Once he gained enough confidence he asked Heather out, and she agreed to a date. The first date was successful, and in a few months, the two became an inseparable pair. It was a classic good girl goes for the bad guy situation. She would watch him get into fistfights, and he would clean up when he was invited to dinner with her family.
As freshman year ended, and summer started Ben found a lot of free time on his hands. Ideally, he wanted to spend time with his girlfriend Heather, but her family decided to send her to band camp for the summer. Ben spent most of that summer with his friends.
During a hot July night, he was invited to party thrown by a couple of upperclassmen. Before this Ben only smoked a few cigarettes a day, but now he was exposed to booze and an assortment of drugs. He had a couple of beers and a few hits from a joint and stayed away from some of the harder drugs his friends were doing. As he went to more of these parties he became more adventurous.
When Heather returned home from band camp, they spent the entire week together and started bringing her to his summer parties. By the end of the night, he would be completely inebriated by whatever he chose to do that night, and Heather would have to make sure he got home in one piece. Once school started again, the parties seemed to simmer down and he started to focus on his music again. He even picked up on singing, which was something he always enjoyed doing, but now he wanted to spend more time focusing on it.
Ben and Heather were a strong couple for all of high school, until the end of senior year. Heather was going to college, and Ben was not. Heather broke things off, the week before she left. Ben wasn’t expecting the redhead to break up with him, it hit him like a truck. The fall after graduation was hard, he started drinking more, and hooked up with whomever he could. Ben was starting to fall off the edge and was simply waiting for the last thing to push him over.
Sometime that fall one of Ben’s friends from high school invited him to a college party, the same college Heather was attending, reluctantly Ben agreed to go, he knew Heather didn’t enjoy parties, however, college changed her. When he arrived she was there with a few friends, she was tipsy and bouncing around greeting every familiar face. He wasn’t sure he would be able to handle talking to her again, so he hid outside in the cold, with a beer and a pack of cigarettes. When he went inside for another beer he saw Heather and made brief eye contact with her. She came over and started to yell at him for coming, and all he could do was stand there paralyzed as he took the heat, and if that wasn’t enough, after her rant she ran over to her new boyfriend and began to make out with him. Infuriated and a little tipsy he threw a few a few fists at her new boyfriend. Ben didn’t get anything out of the fight except for a bloody nose, and a black eye.
Ben grabbed his beer and returned outside, this was the only place at the party where he could be alone, and sob. After going through an entire pack of cigarettes, he drank to the point of blacking out. Ben never went back to that college ever again.
When Ben was 20 his older sister, Courtney, was engaged to her long-term boyfriend. Ben was happy to see her be with someone she loved, but he always felt off about her fiance. One day when they were visiting, they had the house to themselves. Ben walked into one of their fights, they were both yelling at full volume and didn’t notice Ben coming home. He didn't think much of the fight until he heard a thud, and his sister screaming. Thanks to his quick thinking, Ben found his younger brother’s baseball bat and started hitting the older man with it until he eventually left. Ben dropped the bat, apologized, and left the house for a few days. He rented a motel room. He got his hands on whatever drugs he could find and nearly overdosed. The only thing he remembers that night was calling Heather. She drove from her university to bring him to the emergency room and skipped her classes to be with him that day. He was able to leave the hospital within a few days. Right after that, he went on another bender.
Ben’s early twenties were filled with booze, drugs, and sex. He slept with women and men, but never formed any actual relationships with them, he couldn’t after Heather, even years after they broke up. When he wasn’t drunk or high, he spent his time focusing on his music. He was able to write a few pieces by himself, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it on his own, so he moved out of his home with money he had saved up from his assortment of part-time jobs and moved to Los Angeles. During that time he joined a few bands but decided to make his own called The Back Alley.
Now, Ben hasn’t kicked any of his bad habits, and he still thinks of Heather from time to time, but for now his focus is on music. He lives in his apartment with one cat he rescued, when he was able to gather the finances for one.
origamiaround
areudirty
vaporwave
titsay
