online diary

(for when it feels stupid to write it down, but i want to get it out anyway)

[bentleysarchives]

overslept and had a short dream where i had a boyfriend and was in an apartment with a magical sphinx-like being that offered a one-time temporary shapeshifting magic (for funzies). my boyfriend and i were discussing what we wanted to change into, and he basically said 'whatever we do i want to fuck'. i had a literal thought process in my dream going through what he would choose to be (it was either the vampire armand, an eldritch horror, or me). we closed are eyes and envisioned what we would be. i chose to stay the same but my boyfriend turned into me. we then had some great sex and i woke up perturbed.

[bentleysarchives]

my cousins boyfriend is moving in with her (he's unemployed) and my parents are lecturing my sister and i about not being dumb and in love. i said i don't like people enough for that and my dad replied with something along the lines of 'yeah you've got different issues'. fascinating outside perspective. don't know if he's right yet.

[bentleysarchives]

danced with this guy for two songs back to back and he's literally my type and he's SO GOOD AT BACHATA like he's got FLAIR and we're talking and it's GREAT but i DONT GET HIS NUMBER only his NAME (fitney (?)) and now im never gonna see him again because im leaving town in five days and won't be back for a month FUCK MY LIFEEEE

[bentleysarchives]

[bentleysarchives]

girl with a sign reading 'kiss me if you're a hot masc' came up to me, asked if i was single, made out with me, and said i was really pretty. she was a junior (unfortunately) but she had glitter on her face and really pretty eyes. i was four (?) drinks in and it was the best kiss ive had yet. i actually felt good afterwards. need that to happen again.

[bentleysarchives]

had a dream last night where a man with a tiny dick made me take it up the ass. among other things. still don't know if it was rape or not but i felt terrible when i woke up and only remembered what happened in the middle of nude figure drawing in art class. feeling a bit undone right now

[juney-blues]

let's hear it for the people who have been denied autonomy so long they are now incapable of exercising it. do any beautiful women want to literally own me like a dog.

[juney-blues]

it turns out if you spend your entire childhood shepherded from one task to another by adults, then you'll be entirely lost once they stop doing that one day, and making online purchases will fill you with a dread usually felt only by soldiers in trench warfare

[stardustchimera]

I spent my childhood waiting to get older. When I finally was older, all I knew was how to wait.

[bentleysarchives]

running on five hours of sleep, a body that periodically attacks me with crippling mental and bodily pain, frozen ankles, a hope, and a dream

[kosmogrl]

[bentleysarchives]

drunk. did NOT mentionmy ex to the hot girl at the party. this is fun n . Things are looking up. hate valentine's day

[rubyisrising]

litany/liturgy

[oncce-againn]

Never use a person to forget another

[infectiouspiss]

2026

FUCK HARD

FUCK FAST

FUCK BADLY

NEVER USE GENERATIVE AI

CREATE JOY

MUSIC ALWAYS

PSPSPSPS AT KITTIES ON THE STREET

YUMMY SOUP

go see the doctor about that thing

BE TRANSGENDER

KISS YOUR FRIENDS

EAT CHEESE

NEVER KILL YOURSELF

THRIVE

[springinthesky]

resist the urge to self-isolate, girl. people want you around. people don't think you're faulty. you're allowed to be wrong and make mistakes and missteps and people won't reject you for it. don't self-isolate. nobody in your life wants you to self-isolate. don't do it.

[casceth]

dont retreat emotionally. people like you and want you around. they like to talk to you, and you genuinely matter. you have to trust this through the hard times so you can get to the better times without sabotaging yourself. you are worth loving

[bentleysarchives]

there are new cuts on my thighs and for the first time i truly don't know where they came from

[kosmogrl]

hey guys does anyone else feel like ‘Suddenly it's December and you're not 17 anymore. And you haven't been 17 for a very long time, but sometimes you need to remind yourself.’ or is it just me?