it's not even a real sport

hi I'm Afl i hate golf dni if you can spell worschestershirere correctly he/him except when something else is really funny 18+ please award winning grandmilf hunter sexually charged hatred for printers

[criminalizegolf]

Why golf is terrible:

Destroys habitats

Wastes lots of water

My brother golfed in high school (I love him and he's a really good guy but the ancient laws of sibling rivalry demand I hate the things he likes)

Rich people like golf

My proposed solution to the Golf Problem:

Turn 99/100 golf courses into wildlife preserves and make 1/100 into chuck e cheese's where you're allowed to beat the cheese rat with sticks

EDIT: I've gotten a lot of asks about the legality of mini-golf. The guidelines for what constitutes a legally permissible putt-putt course can be found here.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

[stavarosthearcane]

Good Job.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

[heroofthreefaces]

do you think no one else has time travel

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

[roach-works]

wow if only you had a time machine

[transdaughterofthesun]

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

[iforgotmyfandom]

:)

[idiototheinternet]

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

[lizyarikus]

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

[anexperimentallife]

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

[what-if-i-just-did]

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Imagine how I feel

[mrsjdavis]

POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It doesn’t have to

[bigsadbison]

"i am looking respectfully" i am daydreaming about cumming inside you unprotected

[jackalpants]

THE CHAFF PROJECT

Hi! Are you cis in the UK and you'd like to support trans rights? Great!

How: buy a trans flag pin and wear it in public.

Why: chaff is an overwhelming amount of false positives so that when a missile gets close to the plane, it hits the chaff and not the plane.

In practice: the goal is to make it DIFFICULT to identify trans people to target with bathroom bans, and to create many FALSE POSITIVES for businesses.

Basically, you might get accused of being trans and kicked out, because of the badge. You say: I wear the badge because trans rights matter.

You follow up with a letter to the business saying you're fucking furious because some nosy dipshit just tried to play fucking genital police with you in the loos. You know lots of trans people (don't name any, if you do) and you wear the pin in support and you're disgusted at them for allowing this.

Blame the business for allowing the behaviour.

Businesses see that their cis customers are getting bothered over a badge and may clarify trans-inclusive policies, so they can kick out the bathroom botherers instead of nice cis allies.

You only need to buy and wear the badge, and you are protecting trans people. You can be genuinely heroic. Even one cis person doing this helps, and everyone you get to join in helps even more.

Non-affiliated badge link:

https://rainbowandco.uk/collections/trans-pride/products/transgender-pride-flag-badge

Show your pride with our 25mm transgender pride flag pin badge. Perfect for wearing on your favourite denim jacket, back pack, or lanyard to

[weaver-z]

I've been laughing about the Mark Hamill gaygay tweet for six hours

[weaver-z]

Ben grinding his teeth over this might be the funniest thing I've seen in years. Bro. You're seething over the Mark Hamill gaygay tweet.

[astrangeenchantedboy]

[whos-this-lisa-person]

Is nobody else going to mention the fact that Mark signs his name as Mar Camel???

[justsomeguycore]

ya being kafkaesque isn’t about turning into a bug it’s about how if you turned into a bug your boss would still be like “ok but we’re short staffed can u still come in”

[rosemarythunder]

while i understand that this is meant to be a joke about hellish capitalism, again, we cannot erase an important dimension to his work: franz kafka was a jew. he and his families were jews during a time period where traditional, religiously-based jew hatred was being replaced with a new pseudoscientific belief that jews were to be hated and oppressed because they were a subhuman race. this transition to race-based hatred of jews meant that even assimilated jews- who considered themselves citizens of states before they were ever jews- were now being irrationally targeted and hunted.

the term “anti-Semitism” was created specifically to name this new racial hatred of Jews. it was coined in 1879- 4 years before Kafka was born. 

in “the metamorphosis”, Gregor Samsa wakes up one morning to find himself transformed into a "monstrous vermin". in kafka’s real world, jews woke up one morning, in their country that they were told was now enlightened and accepting of all people, and found out that they were now considered “monstrous vermin”. and then 6 million jews of his generation were exterminated. 

i am giving the simplest analysis to this right now, but we need to understand that you cannot just blanketly universalize his work. you cannot remove the context of kafka’s jewishness or that he lived at a time when antisemitism became fervently racial. yes, discuss how his work comments on capitalism, society, etc. but to only use ONLY these lenses and to ONLY universalize his work is dishonest, whitewashes his work and life, and further exhibits how little non-jews know or care about the jewish history and how antisemitism has impacted jews for over 2000 years.

[mockiatoh]

I’m going a step further and saying Kafka’s work—including the metamorphosis—is impossible to really interact with on any but the most surface level without an understanding of Kafka’s identity as a Jew and the social setting that placed him in.

If you didn’t know Kafka was Jewish, you did not study The Metamorphosis, you just read it. The amount of people saying they covered it in class and had no idea Kafka was Jewish… your teacher dropped the ball

[athingofvikings]

Literally the only reason Franz Kafka existed was because his Jewish ancestor was allowed to have a family.

In short, between 1745 and 1859 in the Kingdom of Bohemia (what is now the Czech Republic), there was a law that limited the number of Jewish families. A census taken in 1787 showed that there were 8,541 Jewish families in Bohemia; preferring round numbers, the government increased the limit to 8,600. And for close to a hundred years, that was the limit. If a Jewish man wanted to get married and get a marriage license, he had to emigrate from the country. Otherwise, they had to wait until an existing Jewish father died. Usually, this meant that a son inherited the spot from his father (and wouldn't that cast a fun pall on a wedding, knowing that you can only have it because your father is dead?), but when a married Jewish man died without a son, the spot went up for someone to acquire.

But to apply for the spot, you needed to pay three years taxes, prove that you possessed at least 300 florians, had a school education, pass some exams, and be at least 24 years old.

Franz Kafka's grandfather passed those requirements.

If not for the fact that he did, and that another Jewish man had died without leaving a son behind, there would be no Franz Kafka.

[carby]

haha. did you guys uhh. did you hear the pentagon threatened to kill the pope

[carby]

Woe, Avignon Papacy 2 be upon ye

Pentagon Threatened the Pope After He Criticized Trump

It was so bad that Pope Leo changed his plans to travel to the U.S.

[tungledotfuck]

Additional source:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/conormurray/2026/04/09/pentagon-confirms-it-met-with-vatican-but-denies-reports-of-a-bitter-clash-amid-the-popes-mounting-criticism/

[mightypocketcow]

if it comes down to Pope vs US Government...

[dootdoodle]

thinking about how cool nancy danderhoof is as just. a ttrpg mechanic. the only way that you can survive is if you can find a news story more noteworthy than the fact that vampires are real every single month. you can discover the story or even create it yourself, as long as you can give the journalist a reason to publish something other than the nature of your own existence

[criminalizegolf]

Dispensary had a 1000mg edible for $3 wish me luck on my journey

[pwhl-mybeloved]

ohhhhh have you seen this: https://www.instagram.com/p/DY92E99AZEF/ (a journalist is looking to speak to queer canadian fans of the tempo who do not live in toronto)

Ooh yeah I reposted this on IG but didn’t think to put in on here for some reason! thx for linking me here bc I actually do need y’all in their DMs talking up the tempo 😁

[pointnclick]

hello male writer. before you is a typewriter. you have one day to write a novella with a woman as the protagonist without describing her breasts. the timer begins now

[yebisu]

Her ass was like a peach, and brother I’m in her pit.

[pointnclick]

well. that one’s on me

[tamamita]

[rawdickulouslywreckless]

[identifying-cars-in-posts]

2019-2021 Jeep Wrangler

[aminoasinine]

[bigtonguebiollante]

This is what the original post used to show. Not sure how it violates community guidelines, but who knows what those even are anymore

[chiropteracupola]

can ANYONE do something about him. can someone PLEASE stop him. can we do anything at all about the lancelot situation.

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

brother’s response to this passage

[wavcheck]

[beholdingslut]

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[bigfoots-biggest-fan]

HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY

Visit Original Link

Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).

[punkrorschach]

happy first day of pride everyone

[janmisali]

pick whatever option the person you're following who reblogged this post didn't pick. if they didn't say in the tags what they picked or if you're seeing the original post and not a reblog, pick at random instead.

first option

second option

Remaining time: 4 days 13 minutes