We should have listened, Agnes
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hello vonnie
Cosimo Galluzzi
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@bereftomens
We should have listened, Agnes
Still reeling. Still on the opposite side.
Today's vent:
The finale Aziraphale was not our Aziraphale.
I keep thinking about how Aziraphale, when Crowley did not immediately leap to his feet to help him, just turned around and walked away.
He didn’t try to help him up. He didn’t crouch down to his level. He didn’t even look remotely pressed, and he left Crowley lying there, depressed and dirty and drunk and barely conscious, like he was a piece of trash. Like he meant nothing. (I also haaaaate what they did with Crowley here, but that’s another post entirely)
To think they made Aziraphale into the villain so many people thought he was post s2, and for what? To what end? For what reason? It feels so unnecessarily cruel. So callous. So very much not Aziraphale.
“But Crowley told him to go away! Aziraphale was just respecting his boundaries!”
Nah. No. I mean maybe if Crowley was just chilling having a drink somewhere all upright and not covered in shit and mired in despair, then fine. But he’s lying on the fucking street in the alley muttering that nothing matters anymore. I would argue that when someone you care about is THAT depressed and THAT deep in a dark, dark place, that is precisely the time to ignore their attempt to shove you away. At the very least you reach out to them, anyway.
Was that angel the same as this one? This soft but fiercely tenderhearted sweetheart?
Are we supposed to believe this was that same angel we watched walk away from the same demon he guided through that Edinburgh cemetery with firm but careful hands before he was snatched down to Hell?
Out of all the possible things that could’ve happened in the finale— of all the possible endings and scenarios I thought about for months and months— one thing I never even considered to be remotely possible about this angel who always looked at Crowley like he was everything?
I never thought that Aziraphale wouldn’t help Crowley up off the ground.
And apparently, neither did Peter Anderson Studio.
Why that scene didn’t happen this way in the actual film, I’ll never understand. I’ll never understand pretty much any of the finale because it is so fucking nonsensical in every way, but they butchered the characterization so badly it’s almost impressive. It’s sickening. I have been trying to write a version of this scene that fits with the characters but the words won’t come. I’ll keep trying though.
Updated my Cosplay post GO3!!
Labelled, so you can tell who I am in each pic:
Sure, GO3 ripped my heart clean out my chest, but at least it's made cosplay easier!
The End / The Beginning
OK so my usual reaction to uncomfortable situations is to make jokes #Sad Clown Paradox anyone? So yeah it's my go-to so I thought I'd try it to cope with GO3 but ...
Not there yet, not sure I ever will be, back into my happy place of Book/S1/S2. Need to come up with a catchy way of saying that...maybe BookSS? BSSC (Book S1 S2 Canon) - which has the added bonus of sounding like a reference to Rimmer's Bronze & Silver Swimming Certificates for any Red Dwarf fans out there? Anyway. I didn't cry today, so that was a thing. How's everyone feeling?
The REAL tragedy of GO3 is that Aziraphale and Crowley worked the same jobs for 6,000 years without a sniff of a promotion, made it to literally the day before retirement and got laid off with no payout. To top it off, Boss goes postal and annihilates them before they could even leave the office at end of shift.
#Congrats on 6,000 years of loyal service #Unfortunately your positions have been made redundant as the entire universe has been made redundant #Put Me Through To The Heaven and Hell HR Department #EtherealUnionisationNow
the difference between liking the finale and not isn't just down to the debate of media literacy and taste. because the problem really boils down to the experience of loss.
i keep trying to shout how much i reject the finale. i am filling up every space i can with all of the reasons it doesn't make sense to me, doesn't work for me, doesn't feel canon to me. not because i'm trying to convince myself of my position, but because i'm trying to convince myself that i will be able to move past this feeling by just rejecting it. but in truth i don't know how to unsee it. and i do not know if i can enjoy good omens anymore. because while those issues of taste and media literacy surrounding the convoluted philosophies about free will and reincarnation, and the whole not kissing or not saying "i love you" issues can all be debated as intellectual, matters of logic and judgement and comprehension... there's a big chunk of this schism that comes from perception and emotion, and not all emotional responses/reactions can be logic'ed or be correct or incorrect.
and one of the most impactful for me is what feels like multiple instances of extremely out of character dialogue and choices. and because of aziraphale and crowley's characterization and choices in the finale, i was very quickly drained of the feeling of comfort in them and their love. i can't love that aziraphale with how he speaks to that crowley. i ache too much for that crowley. i don't feel that their love as presented is that powerful or beautiful anymore because now it just radiates what from my experience feels completely toxic. and so i'm left with wondering why would toxic love save the universe. why is it good to get reincarnated back into a toxic relationship. and even if you try to make the logical argument that that toxicity is only there because of the angel/demon opposite sides thing, it doesn't feel like enough to excuse the fact that it happened. it destroys for me the beauty of it.
so even if "that is them," i don't know how to care about asa and anthony getting to be happy and in love if I wouldn't have been peacefully, comfortably happy with crowley and aziraphale getting together after what i saw in that episode.
and trying to look back at season 2 and season 1 and the book and the good old fics is a stab in the heart because i saw in that finale the devastation on their faces when they decided that all of the longing and want and pain of every disagreement and fight and miscommunication and every "almost" over 6000 years would never be rectified. that there was no payoff for all of that trying and wanting. that they were in pain for millennia only to sacrifice themselves for a new universe that i can't feel like was even a guarantee... because god's agreement doesn't feel like something that can or should be trusted. there's no comfort or joy there anymore. it doesn't feel safe. i don't feel held. reading and writing fic just hurts now. drawing, making gifs, editing video, all just hurt now. i can't talk to half of my friends because they're happy about something that broke me. i've lost my source of joy and i don't know if that feeling is ever going to come back. i don't know if i'll ever be able to unsee the finale and shed the visceral emotional reaction i had to it. and that kind of loss carries a whole different kind of weight and consequence and disruption to it than a straightforward or even bittersweet "i liked it."
Your blog saying how you feel like you're "not allowed to be part of the fandom anymore" was so spot on. It's so, exhausting and hurts feeling well... Cast out.
Hey, thanks for your message. Truly - thank you. It's kind of ironic to feel cast out - parallels to S1 much? "Oh hey, it's G03 and the guys...next thing I was doing a million year freestyle dive into a pool of boiling sulfur"!
Look, the fandom is hurting right now. Even those who are screaming at the top of their lungs about how great GO3 was - are mourning a loss, as it's an end (of TV show canon). I think there could be a lot more empathy on all sides; but it does feel like a double attack on those who didn't like the finale, as not only are we gutted at the finale itself, but then are getting attacked by everyone else from so many angles ("you just wanted smut", "boohoo you didn't get a kiss, love is more than a kiss", "you didn't understand the finale", "you're obviously not a fan", "y'all are too dumb to interpret the finale properly, get some MeDiA LiTeRaCy", "at least we got a finale at all"). Its grief on top of grief and yes - it's exhausting. I've found some little relief stepping away from the fandom and being very selective in what I look at. I've tried to find and engage in safe spaces. Sure - another layer of grief is being excluded from the fandom at the exact time I'd envisaged myself being kneedeep in euphoric posts, joyously creating memes and gifs - but S3 is done and out there now - the fandom will still be here if I want to get back into it later - and people will still be ready to talk and engage about it if and when I feel up to participating again. I'm really, really sorry it turned out this way and that you're feeling like this. You're not the only one. Take some time and look after yourself - and maybe reach out to give a hand to anyone else out there you see suffering similarly. Sending a hug if you'd like one. Reach out anytime.
another reminder that it's okay to be shattered by the finale. it's okay to hate it. it's okay to be enraged and it's okay to feel betrayed and it's okay to feel lost and it's okay to feel anything that you're feeling. it doesn't make you less of a fan. your feelings are real and extremely valid. the mix of toxic positivity, smug superiority and outright vicious contempt for anyone who didn't love this finale is suffocating. the pressure to stay positive amidst utter devastation is a cruel prison. clearly there is a reason such a massive, massive number of people refuse to accept this finale as something that fits or feels right. and it's okay. it's all okay. you don't have to love it or even like it and you are still a fan. you matter.
It’s so sad that they never wrote or filmed a finale for Good Omens. So very, very sad we never saw a finale for Good Omens.
I think im gonna be sick
Shall we make "Another One Bites The Dust" the fandom exodus anthem?
Im not ready to lose the whole fandom though (i think)....can we come up with a name for adherents to the Church of Book and S1? I wont be able to stomach the fandom if i cant somewhat reduce the amount of S3 shite I see.
little did we know that 2019 was the golden age. before, you know <gestures widely>
People are so desperate to cope and justify this unfortunate failure of a finale with the accusation "YoUrE jUsT SaLtY CoZ tHeY DiDnT KisS"
Yeah get fucked mate there's a whole lot more wrong here than the lack of a kiss
GO3 and fandom influence
obligatory spoiler heading