Tales of a Second Third Pregnancy

There's a squirrel in my uterus.

[itsliketheyknowus]

“If there’s one thing my toddler loves more than following multi-step directions, it’s wearing things on her head.”

[enoughtohold]

one more thing, i can’t help but notice that a lot of tumblr’s popular ideas about what 30+-year-old women — and it’s almost always women — should be doing instead of having fun online seem to line up pretty closely with very conservative beliefs about what women’s options should be. especially that women should have children and that once they have children their lives should revolve around those children completely, with no time for breaks or hobbies or internet discussion or other selfish, frivolous, unmotherly activities. to be a mother or a woman old enough to be expected to be a mother is to be a specially regulated class of person, judged by her performance as a self-sacrificing caregiver and exemplar of chaste maturity.

it’s hard to escape the influence of these ideas. but if you don’t hold yourself to this standard at age 22 or whatever, if you want more than what patriarchy has planned for you, then it’s worth it to try to let go of this standard when it comes to older women too. and not only because you will one day be one of them. but also because it’s the right thing to do.

[realitytvgifs]

[hissmetaylor]

I actually think this was pretty responsible. Rather than banning it outright, which would result in kids wanting to rebel even more, she offers it in her home where she can control the amount people drink. Good on ya, Mrs George. You’re a cool mom.

[mytimeisnevertoday]

She also offered her daughter a condom when she was hooking up with a guy instead of freaking out and kicking the guy out of the house.

[cloudcuckoolander527]

It’s kinda funny how she is simultaneously an out-there parent, yet not a bad one. She might actually understand that her daughter is a anger-ridden teenager who can’t be easily controlled and restricted, so instead of telling her what she can’t do, she tries to guide her to a safer decision. I’m not saying I’m 100% cool with how she executes it, but hey, not a bad parent when you think about it. 

[hipster-trichster]

next up on tumblr: psychoanalysing the mean girls mother.

[a-magpie-witchling]

My parents taught me how to handle my alcohol and got me contraceptives the second I requested them as a teen. Banning stuff won’t keep your kids from doing them. Teach them moderation.

[betchmom]

Had an AMAZING day with our toddler today! Cooperation, fun discussion, lots of hugs and kisses. So of course she would throw one of the worst tantrums I've ever seen at bedtime over -- get this -- not being allowed to waste water while rinsing her toothbrush. The toddler gods giveth and they taketh away.

[betchmom]

My shit is spotless.

There's nothing quite like a home birth to get your ass in gear on home improvements, redecorating, and cleaning the shit out of everything. I don't think I've lived in a house this clean in my entire 32 years on this planet.

[betchmom]

So I guess for me nesting means spending gratuitous amounts of money on textiles from India.

[betchmom]

Cuterus

Pregnancy is the only time people will "ooo" and "aww" over a picture of your insides.

[betchmom]

Glucose Screening Day

I just chugged 11 oz of grape juice (an entire day's worth of sugar) in 30 seconds and feel like I'm going to barf. Meanwhile, my fetus thinks we're at a party.

[betchmom]

I just ate a yellow bell pepper nearly the size of my head. I may have cried a little bit when it was gone.

[betchmom]

I’m getting to that point in pregnancy where, whenever I drop something, my first thought is, "Well, I hope someone’s planning to clean up this mess!”

[betchmom]

That Moment When...

...you ask your husband if he wants to pick out the baby's "home coming" outfit and he says, "Why? We're having a home birth. We'll already BE at home."

[betchmom]

Apparently laughing to the point of sobbing is a great remedy for constipation!

[betchmom]

I'm a Human Punching Bag

There is a lot of tiny kung fu going on in my uterus lately. I’m starting to feel like a human punching bag. But the hits are so itty bitty and cute, I can’t be upset at all.

[betchmom]

I Get So Thirsty Right Before Bed

You would think with all of our amazing technology, someone could invent a drink that quenches your thirst, but doesn't make you get up to pee 87 times a night.

[betchmom]

Today I learned that I still can't breathe chocolate.

[betchmom]

Ugh.

I gagged really hard while taking my vitamins and they scraped my throat.

[betchmom]

Squirrel! Singular! Thank the stars, too, because I might have lost my mind if it was twins.