the sexiest thing a woman can be is a cringe fujoshi with a very serious day job

if i look back, i am lost
Claire Keane
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@beth-anyy
the sexiest thing a woman can be is a cringe fujoshi with a very serious day job
people don’t enjoy shipping anymore. the point of shipping isn’t the catharsis of watching them kiss onscreen, it’s grabbing the characters and mashing their faces together like you’re five years old playing Barbie in your room again. it’s to take one moment of eye contact in canon and read that over and over and over again with twenty different writers’ interpretations of the characters internal monologues if they were in love. it’s to see the characters interact and cheer because you know that’s another moment to add to your list of canon compliant fic ideas. you’re stressing yourself out, this is supposed to be fun!
one time I saw a comment that was like, "working out is like throwing up: I hate the thought of doing it, I hate it while I'm doing it, but I feel better after." and honestly? truer words have not been spoken.
some of you need to re-learn the word "selfish" and stop calling everyone a fucking narcissist
Love thinking about an AU where the relationship reveal with Yuna and David happens because something overwhelms Shane into a panic attack/breakdown, maybe they're at some NHL show or event, maybe it's just been a really long fucking day, maybe suddenly Shane feels just completely overwhelmed by the lights and the noise and all the fucking people wanting to shake his hand or slap his back or tell him how much they like his fucking play.
Yuna notices something is wrong because of course she does and together with David they herd Shane into some private empty side room hoping it will help him calm down. But it doesn't. He wont stop shaking and his breathing is too fast and he flinches at their voices even tho nobody is speaking loudly. Won't let Yuna come close to hug him or rub his arm.
Maybe Yuna is starting to panic a little herself, her heart aching as she watches Shane wrap his own arms around himself, hates that she cant do anything when her son is so clearly in distress, hates that she can't seem to think of anything that will work-
When suddenly the door bangs open and Ilya Fucking Rozanov??? strides into the room with quick steps, makes a beeline directly for her son, eyes locked on him like he doesnt even register her and David in the room as well and Yuna opens her mouth to cuss him out, tell him to fuck off and not bother Shane right now, she can feel her body moving already to stand in front of Shane protectively when David grabs her arm because-
Because Rozanov is pulling Shane into his arms, one hand on the back of Shane's neck, guiding his head to press into the crook of Rozanov's neck and Shane isn't fighting it, doesn't flinch from his touch. He goes where Rozanov arranges him and let's himself be held and rocked back and forth gently as Rozanov presses his mouth to Shane's ear and starts whispering something so quietly that Yuna can't really make out the words but what she can see is Shane's shaking subsiding, hands fisting tightly into Rozanov's shirt, his breathing going slowly back to normal because - oh. oh - her son is syncing his breaths with Rozanov who, Yuna realises, is taking very exaggerated deep slow breaths of his own so Shane can match them. And then Rozanov turns slightly while still rocking them both back and forth and Yuna sees Shane's face where it's smushed into Rozanov's neck. Sees the look there.
And that's how Yuna realises her son is in love and the man - his years-long rival - he loves must have left in the middle of his award-winning show to come here and pull her son out of a panic attack like there was no place he'd rather be than right here with Yuna's overwhelmed panicked boy in his arms, soothing him until Shane's body relaxes completely into that hold, mumbling that he's fine yet not pulling away and Rozanov makes no move to let go either.
Oh, Yuna thinks again, gripping David's hand tightly. It's not just Shane. My baby is in love. And he's loved back.
This is true btw
the podcast If Books Could Kill has a really great episode on the original book and its legacy! just a bunch of misogynist evangelical bullshit really
I want to clarify something kind of important because this kinda used to be my field. The concept that people express and feel love in different ways, and that this might lead to misunderstandings, IS something with scientific merit. The idea that there are just five and we know what they are is NOT. The idea that people have a primary love language is NOT.
In science, we have a saying. All models are wrong, but some are useful. That’s how I see the love languages framework. It is inherently flawed, but some of its concepts are useful. Communicate with your partner what makes you feel loved and understand what makes them feel loved. Understand how your partner shows love. There is immense value in that. But don’t over-index on which one of the five you are. That part doesn’t matter.
#love languages#really reblogging for that last comment though#“all models are wrong but some are useful”#the concept is sound but the specifics are uhhhh not (via @mad-madam-m)
One night after a tough game, JJ convinces Shane to go to a bar with the rest of the team. He tried to turn him down bc he's beat and just wants to go to his hotel room and get some sleep before an early flight tomorrow, but JJ had already anticipated this and got Hayden in on it so he wouldn't let Shane into the room. They end up going to the nearest bar they find "Come on Cap just an hour or two and we'll let you go it's right around the corner" and said bar happens to have a mechanical pull riding machine (no clue where these exist in Canada just dw bout it). Shane's competitive ass sees everyone there including his teammates fail miserably, so he decides to give it a shot to show them how it's done. Everyone is like haha until my boy is up there and lo and behold Captain Hollander is... really fucking good at bull riding? They all know Shane never half asses anything in his life but where the fuck did he learn to ride like this!? And Shane deadpans "It's about balance and relaxing your hips to move in rhythm with the movement instead of fighting it" and everyone's like ok sure??? Anyways, someone in the bar is a hockey fan and recognizes Shane and takes a video of him bull riding. In less than 15 minutes the clip is blasted all over social media and everyone is collectively losing their shit over Hollander wearing a backwards cap moving his hips in a way no human should be allowed to and riding like his life depends on it under dim sexy red lighting.
Cut to Ilya Rozanov hundreds of miles away up at 3 in the morning almost breaking his phone screen from how hard he's gripping it after replaying the 7 second clip for the 200th time and he's never been more hard in his life.
And he's the only one who knows where Shane Hollander learned to ride.
#not his first rodeo
It deeply saddens me that "pdf file" has become slang for pedo. Don't you dare disrespect my wife the beautiful portable document format ever again
and to the children in the notes saying we need this fucking baby talk to get around censorship online; there's been no credible evidence that any site other that YouTube (which will only demonetize your video, ftr) will actually censor or hide content that include words like rape, pedophile, gun, terrorist, etc. etc. and even if we take as a given they were (which, again, they are not), do not fucking comply in advance, you absolute fucking coward. and ESPECIALLY do not comply by altering your real life fucking vocabulary. don't let the technocrats dictate what words you say holy fucking shit dude!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like to fuck around and waste time for at least ~6-10 hours per day, and let me tell you, that really puts some pressure on your schedule. you have no idea how busy I am
do you think that when the big arm on the trash truck aggressively grabs the trash can on the curb and dumps it into the truck that it's like a little sexual for the trash can
brother why would i want twice as many people to see this
choke me harder, daddy.
Please please please don't click those phishing texts
you have fallen for AI before. even if you don’t believe you could ever fall for AI, you very more than likely have at this point. you have scrolled past an AI generated ad not realizing it was AI. you’ve seen a drawing online and thought “oh that looks cool,” not realizing it was not created a person. i’m not saying this to scare you, but i am saying it as a reminder that you are not immune to how realistic AI is becoming
I usually hate seeing people being stiffed for their labor but I think it’s very funny ICE agents have not been getting their $50k sign on bonus, many are still waiting for their healthcare benefits to kick in and some are complaining they haven’t been getting their paychecks. You sold your soul to the Exploiting and Abusing People Agency and they started exploiting you too? Wow. Crazy.
One thing I hate about heated rivalry is that it's made me want to believe in love again. Ugh. Absolutely disgusting
“what if kids identify with something and it ends up just being a phase-?” good. stop teaching and expecting kids (and adults honestly) to formulate permanent traits and ideas of themselves. everything in life is a phase. that doesn’t make it any less legitimate while you experience it. let people explore themselves and know it’s okay if what you think about yourself changes.
OP tags that I feel should be on the post:
#there is no permanent state of self#expecting that makes people fearful to explore options for fear of being wrong
#parenting#my rule of thumb when my kids go through a phase is two parts:#1) if this is temporary what things can they learn from it?#2) if this is long term what will they say about my reaction in their TED talk?
Even if it's temporary, "I wanted to talk with my parents about something complicated and personal and they took my words seriously" is a far better experience for them to take away than "I wanted to talk about this and my parents said I didn't know what I was talking about and I'd just change my mind." Eventually that same kid is going to end up in a more dangerous situation and the chance that they'll come to you for help depends a lot on how you reacted the previous times they came to you with something complicated and personal.