it's beginning to suck a lot like penis
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Jules of Nature
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One Nice Bug Per Day

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if i look back, i am lost
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@bexxxy
it's beginning to suck a lot like penis
We need shittable cities (actively maintained public restrooms).
certified creep. seven days a week. weird ass pussy.
Disability will have you thinking shit like “I’m not even that disabled. I can manage as long as I limit myself to very specific careers, never go shopping for more than an hour or two at a time, keep my plans open so I can cancel and stay in if need be, and only go out a few nights per week at the most”
Want to carve pumpkins with me ? (Flirting)
would you still love me if i was a worm?
going to the grocery store when youre 20 makes your receipt look like this:
item 1 1.94
item 2 1.94
item 3 0.50
item 4 0.32
item 5 1.00
item 6 1.00
item 7 0.72
item 8 0.69
item 9 2.00
item 10 5.87
item 11 1.00
item 12 1.36
subtotal: 18.34
and you think about the $5 one for the rest of the day
it's important to me that people know the original "he would not fucking say that" was in response to a tiktok where someone said eric cartman would thank you for asking for his pronouns. Like it just doesn't hit the same without context.
Has a worm ever gotten struck by lightning
I'm like if an eccentric genius was fucking stupid
tshirt that says "i'm not the scrub daddy, i'm just the scrub that stepped up"
a doordasher bringing mcdonalds to a group of four 25 year olds who have the exact same arrangement as the grandparents in willy wonka and the chocolate factory
AFAB she/theys are so fucking basic. change my mind. the trans/NB version of bisexual women who've never done anything with another woman
I don’t need to change your mind, I am busy having sex with them instead of developing new transgender microbeefs
tags from @andiest
#i've felt a hell of a lot more camraderie and community and acceptance from afab she/theys than I have from the fuckin feds#and this is fed shit
always remember acab includes gender cops
I do agree, but they're not my tags. They're from @half-elf-in-sheets 👍
My husband and I got covid for the first time. 3+ years of successfully avoiding getting sick, we get cocky and go to a sold out Dodgers game, and BAM. Symptoms 2 days later. I feel like a fucking idiot. MILD SYMPTOMS / "LIKE A COLD" MY ASS. I feel like I got hit by a fucking truck. Everything tastes like sawdust and I get winded trying to go up my one flight of stairs. I probably have more than just a mild case due to pre-existing risk, and I'm kicking myself for not prioritizing getting boosted against the latest variants (was waiting for my next long weekend, next week). Now we're on Paxlovid and on the mend at home.
We're fortunate to have ample COVID sick leave, excellent health care coverage, and jobs that let us work from home while we recover. This sucks so much ass. I can't fathom how devastating this would be without those protections.
tl;dr the novel coronavirus is beating my ass rn frfr