A hoard most unlikely

law boi? | number of years | he/him Proficient in shitposting, but afraid of Twitter so here we are.

[paladitos]

my body is a vessel for the bit

[were--ralph]

the fun thing about having a bunch of followers is i can reblog any post and sometimes it blows up and sometimes people get mad at it instead and i live for being a harbinger of chaos

[were--ralph]

I Hope Your Post Blows Up (affectionate)

vs

I Hope Your Post Blows Up (derogatory)

[sforzzz]

it's always affectionate with me, right? right...?

[were--ralph]

it is i love you and you're perfect

[oh-hools]

ordered a burger AMA

[oh-hools]

yes

[oh-hools]

we’re dating now btw

[paperandpencilsandskips]

I’m so happy for you and the burger

[dracula1992soundtrack]

being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider

[redfagdiver]

It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait

[nitta86]

Ezt nem akartam a hosszú és fontos Lannert Judit interjú alá offolni de eszembe jutott. Amikor én kezdtem az iskolát 1993-ban akkor elsőben még nem kellett 20 percnél tovább az iskolapadban ülni. Tanóra közepén kimentünk a zsibongóba és volt valami tanító néni által vezetett játék, körtánc énekkel vagy utolsó pár előre fuss vagy hasonló kb. 5-10 percig, aztán visszamentünk és folytattuk a tanulást. És eleinte nem a füzetben gyakoroltuk a betüket, hanem újságpapíron postaironnal. Teljesen átlag áltsuli volt, a szüleim azért írattak be oda, mert az utca végén volt. Szóval támogatom hogy elsőben ne kelljen 45 percet végigülni, csak mivel nincs gyerekem teljesen meglepődtem, hogy ez nem alap mindenhol. 

[mindenfoglaltmar]

Nekünk még séta óránk is volt 1994-ben.

[sabitchhh]

coworker: I'm 100% asking you this because you're jewish--where do I get good bagels here?

[sabitchhh]

lo and behold, he loved my rec 😌 “this was the best bagel I’ve ever had”

[slyandthefamilybook]

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[dragonpyre]

[sevastiel]

[prokopetz]

John Wick style rampage-of-revenge film about a housecat that got dumped on the side of the highway by a negligent former owner coming back for vengeance. Live action. All practical effects. The cat has no dialogue. This is played 100% straight.

[syrenki]

possible career paths for me:

1. matching pearls in pairs for earrings

2. msn butterfly

that's it probably

[ballgame]

Direct...

[ballgame]

Deltarune... tomorrow? 🥹

[not-the-conversation-starter]

[kira-serialfaggot]

Mandalorian and Grogu isnt a movie. This thing does not have a 3 act structure this fucker has a 6 act structure and some of the most baffling editing I've ever seen. Its borderline incomprehensible what is happening sometimes in a way that it just cuts all context out. Characters just appear in scenes with no explanation as to how they arrived there. I swear the editors were trying to kill each other using this fucking film

Its still great star wars but holy fuck this shit is so ass. Best motion picture star wars Disney released besides Rogue One.

This is the cinematic equivalent of watching Picaso paint and he just shits himself the entire time. 8/10 utterly perplexing peice of cinema

[the-lumpfish-queen]

Sounds to me like we have the grand return of "take some episodes of a tv show we were gonna make and staple them together and call it a movie"

Welcome back pal

[kira-serialfaggot]

Its like a season of fight scenes divorced of all context and stapled together. The dialog sounds like first takes. I do not know how they let this thing be released in theaters.

The second half is peak though because its just like 9 Muppets being weirdos in a jungle

[the-lumpfish-queen]

Sounds abysmal, will watch as soon as I can out of theaters

[ratking-usurper]

I really liked when all the Babu Fricks were walking through a swamp. There were two minutes of a Jim Henson film and those two minutes were 10/10

[prisma-art-collective]

i can't believe we're putting disrespect to their actual names: Minch, Keeto, Bai, and Clang

smh

[phantomrose96]

I'm very very glad that my knee-jerk, gut-feeling, primal-instinct reaction to seeing a Default Influencer is embarrassment. I think this saves me from a lot of bullshit.

[phantomrose96]

Some lip-filler lady on enough Ozempic to euthanize a horse: "The sad truth is an elite lifestyle takes money and discipline. Buy these brands on credit if you have to. Skip meals."

Me: "Oh. Oh I'm physically experiencing the effects of secondhand embarrassment. You live like this? This is your life? Your interiority? If I was anything like this I'd kill myself I think."

[phantomrose96]

To be clear ☝️, absolutely not gender-exclusive. Some broccoli-haired shirtless 23-year-old man on enough trenbolone to euthanize a different horse starts talking about how to be a high-value male and I start thinking instantly about how I'd have 4,000 slugs use me as a jungle-gym before I'd want this man within cootie-contagion distance of me.

[phantomrose96]

[refuzz]

[phantomrose96]

Respect for my soldiers… she’s saving him… the hons…

[bramblepatch]

The thing is you can have a grassy lawn or even a golf course without it being an ecological disaster, you just have to a: be cool about having the occasional non-grass plant in the mix and b: be willing to live in a climate that supports grass without irrigation.

[bramblepatch]

Golf courses in California are an abomination which is why the sport was in fact invented in Scotland.

[abstrusetheorist]

I always thought that golf as a sport should be adapted to the local native landscape. I think this will encourage regional pride when local golfers completely trounce visitors at Swamp Golf, Desert Golf, Forest Golf, etc. Rich tourists will be pressured to travel extensively to experience all forms of golf, instead of staying in their backyard country club golf courses. Internet discourse will probably somehow get worse but I think this is a small price to pay.

[vultures-nest]

im studying histology and i just like the little guys that work so hard to keep our organisms up and running

[catasters]

[idratherhavefreedom]

[sodomit]

I've been getting these ads that feature what seems like clothes and models posing, and, unexpectedly, a wet cat over and over again.