Do You Wanna Build a Snowman? || Frozen AU
As the years went by, Thor’s visits became rarer and rarer until they stopped completely. He still felt the urge to go and knock whenever he walked by Loki’s door. Sometimes he stopped and lingered but he knew he would only get rejected again. And he could not handle this. His memories were still full of days spent together when they were very young. It was strange that he remembered those days so distinctly for they had been really long ago. Still, they left an uncomfortable emptiness in in his heart which only grew with every year Loki kept on avoiding him. There were not many people allowed in the palace in the first place and those few Thor knew were acquaintances at best. No-one was like his brother, who had been all but his soul mate. He wondered how wrong the memories of their early childhood were for Loki to have such a different opinion about their bond.
Their parents were the ones comforting him during that time. His mother’s arms offered warmth and comfort when the loneliness became too great to suffer. She would embrace him without asking a question, holding him close without chastising him for being too old for this. Both of them refused speaking about Loki a lot, claiming that he just needed his space and thatsome people just prefer solitude. But Thor was no fool. When he met Loki, usually at family dinners, he saw that his brother was anything but happy, the air between the four of them filled with tension and uneasiness. Still, they were their family and he would not trade them for anything.
But of course, those things could not last. Thor had just turned seventeen when their parents left to attend a wedding of an allied kingdom. They did not return.
Learning about their parent’s death was horrible. But it was nothing compared to having to attend their funeral alone. Thor stood between two massive tombstones, wrapped in a black cloak with his head bowed as he listened to the words of the cleric. Words of comfort and hope Thor heard but could not feel. Odin’s and Frigga’s tombstones felt as cold as the empty space next to him. For the first time in his life, Thor felt truly and utterly alone.
He could not say what brought him to Loki’s door afterwards. He knew he would be rejected again but he needed his brother’s company right now. Even if there was a door separating them. He needed to know someone was listening who understood. The other people of the kingdom, even the staff of the palace, were gentle and careful but Thor did not know them and they did not know him. Not really.
“Loki, I know you’re in there,” Thor said as he knocked against the door to Loki’s room. “People wondered where you have been today.” I wondered where you have been, Thor did not say, I needed you today. “They say I should have courage and I am trying to…” He paused. “We only have each other now, Loki. And I am here for you. I am here for you if you need me. Just… let me in. Please.” His voice broke on the last word. “Truth is… I don’t know what we are supposed to do now,” he confessed. There was no answer. The door remained closed.
With a shuddering sigh, Thor sank down to the floor, leaning his back against it. He imagined Loki sitting in the same position on the other side, wished his brother was doing so, and it filled him with a small sense of comfort, as if he could feel his brother’s warmth through the door.
“Do you want to build a snowman?” he whispered as his vision started to blur. Everything in his life had changed; maybe he had hoped this had changed as well.
Loki couldn’t go to the funeral. From the very moment the news of his parents’ fate had arrived his control over his powers had become worse than ever. He couldn’t even contemplate leaving his room like this- there was no telling what he might do, who he might hurt. On the day of the funeral he remained curled up, sitting with his back against the door of the room he wasn’t sure he could ever bring himself to leave again. The thin coating of ice on the walls and floor glistened in the sunlight streaming through the window, though his view was blurred by the tears he was trying to hold back.
The grief was beginning to mix with feelings of panic. How on earth was he supposed to manage without Odin and Frigga to guide him? They had always been there to help him overcome his curse. But now he was alone, and still no closer to controlling it than he had been over a decade ago. He had begged them not to go. How could they have just left him like this?
The sound of Thor’s voice on the other side of the door did nothing to improve the situation. The only family he had left, and he couldn’t even face him. The blue colour that he so detested had spread well beyond the reach of his gloves, and he could tell from the chill of his skin that it had spread up his neck and over his face too. Thor could never see him like this for his own safety. Loki’s throat felt tight, and he knew that if he tried to speak his voice would break. The tears finally spilled over at the question Thor had asked him so many times throughout their childhood. He stayed silent, unable to bring himself to send his brother away.
The next few months were perhaps the loneliest of Loki’s life. Very few were allowed to see him, Thor least of all. The fact remained however, that the time would soon come when Loki came of age and as such, would be crowned king. The very idea of it made Loki sick to his stomach. He wasn’t ready for this. It wasn’t meant to happen this soon, and yet the kingdom couldn’t go on without a king. Arrangements had to be made, and for some reason those responsible seemed to believe that his approval was needed on every matter. The guests, the celebration, everything, when his mind was somewhere else entirely. The celebration and the guests he could manage if he just kept a clear head.
The coronation itself was what concerned him.
He would have to remove his gloves for the ceremony, and yet the gloves were the only thing keeping him in any way in control of his curse. No matter how much he practised, he couldn’t keep it hidden.
