You did this to yourself, Buddy.

Hi my name is Lind and my special talent is being able to drive a car while eating two ice cream cones at the same time. I'm also one half of that incredible story where a scientist and an artist fall in love and live happily ever after. Not a personal or political blog, usually. Just funny stuff and Pokemon. Usually.

[pics-that-make-you-go-hmm]

[nerdjpg]

[redwaltz]

We weren’t even testing for that.

[ithelpstodream]

[omiwa-deactivated20181217]

Me

[thegaymerist]

“how’s your summer?”

[lovelysuggestion]

i just really, really, really, really…want to be with you

[golddustfaggot-deactivated20170]

what sort of Carly Rae Jepsen plagiarism

[dragonageheadlines]

331

[ryo-maybe]

Where is the video with the dude running as if he’s about to do the sickest skateboard trick, but then he just keeps running

[nifinof]

[outofcontextdiscord]

[pukicho]

How would you die in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

Bullet to the head

[rad-roach]

God I love crocs and their entire family tree so much. These are animals that have remained virtually the same for millions of years-pretty much as close to “perfect” as you can get in nature-and this highly optimized body plan is just. A fat sausage with a mouth at one end and chubby baby arms.

This is what peak performance looks like.

[lazylittledragon]

i have no idea where this came from and it’s probably been done before but i’m literally too tired to care.

[tamamita]

Wait wait wait....you're supposed to COOK rice???

Habibi…

[hazelsmazecave]

[thegirlwiththemooglehat]

a small collection of whose line identities

[hirudo-verbana]

I’ll miss you

[eeyes]

cool i was scrolling tumblr while i’m taking a shit and i start laughing at this post and apparently alerted an enormous wolf spider in the bathroom of my presence and it charged right at me while i’m on the toilet i have never screamed so hard and everyone heard me yelling like i was dying. I hate this post now

[af-hverju]

me: why are you destroying earth!!!

aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak

me: thats fair i understand

[nerdypersonwithwings]

For some reason I find this all the more amusing because it’s written in English

[af-hverju]

moi: pourquoi vous détruisez le monde!!! l'extraterrestre: parce que il y a des gens qui pensent que l'anglais est le seule langue pour parler moi: ah ça c'est bien

[languageoclock]

ich: warum zerstört ihr die erde!!!

aliens: weil es leute gibt die glauben dass englisch die einzige sprache ist die sie sprechen müssen

ich: das ist fair ich verstehe

[sprachtraeume]

ég: af hverju eyðileggið þið jörðina!!! aliens: af því að það er fólk sem finnst að enska sé sú eina tungumál sem þau þurfa að tala ég: oh, það er vit í þessu. ég skil.

[pory-gon-2]

ik: waarom vernietig je de aarde!!!

aliens: omdat er mensen zijn die denken dat engels de enige taal is die ze hoeven te spreken

ik: oh zo, ik snap het

[perilegs]

minä: miks te tuhootte maapalloo?

alienit: koska tääl on ihmisiä joitten mielestä englanti on ainoo kieli jota niitten täytyy puhua

minä: toi on reilua, ymmärrän

[polyglottica]

私: どうして地球を滅ぼしているんですか？

宇宙人: 英語しか喋る必要がないと思う人がいるからです

私: なるほど、わかりました

[lingumaniac]

me: Wosück maakt ji de Welt twei!!!

aliens: wieldat dat Lüüd gifft, de dinkt dat Engelsch de allenige Spraak weer, de een snacken mütt

me: jo, daar seggst wat. Nu versta ik’t

[somalang]

aniga: dhulka maxaad u burburinaya !!!

shisheeyaha: dadka intiisa badani u malaynayaan in Ingiriisidu tahay afka oo kaliya ay u baahan yihiin inay la hadlaan

aniga: waxaan fahamsanahay. waa wax cadaalad

[zhanaform]

我：你们为什么在毁灭地球?！！

外星人：因为有人以为他们只会英语就可以了

我：懂了，说得有道理

[natsui]

ako: bakit niyo sinisira ang mundo!!!

taga-ibang planeta: kasi merong mga taong akala nila Ingles lang ang kailangan nilang matutunang lenggwahe

ako: ah, sige naiintindihan ko

[katsudonski]

Aku : kenapa kau hancurkan bumi!!! Alien : karena masih banyak orang berpikir hanya bahasa inggris satu-satunya bahasa yang terpenting Aku : oh, oke lah..

[belisencia]

tôi: tại sao các người hủy diệt trái đất!!! người ngoài hành tinh: bởi vì có người nghĩ rằng tiếng Anh là thứ tiếng duy nhất mà họ cần biết tôi: ồ thế thì tôi hiểu

[aphdoitsu-deactivated20170414]

Eu: Por que vocês estão destruindo a Terra?! Aliens: Porque há pessoas que pensam que o inglês é a única língua que eles precisam falar. Eu: Isso é justo, eu entendo.

[wednesdaythunder]

jag: varför förintar ni jorden!!!

utomjordingar: för det finns folk som tror att engelska är det ända språket de behöver kunna

jag: rimligt, jag förstår

[useless-czechrepfacts]

Já: Proč ničíte Zemi?

Mimozemšťani: Protože tu jsou lidé, kteří si myslí, že angličtina je jediný jazyk, který potřebují znát

Já: To je fér, to chápu.

[useless-polandfacts]

ja: dlaczego niszczycie Ziemię?

kosmici: ponieważ są ludzie, którzy myślą, że angielski to jedyny język, którego potrzebuję

ja: rozumiem, w porządku

[vyrkann]

io: perchè state distruggendo la terra!!!

alieni: perchè ci sono delle persone che credono che l’inglese sia l’unica lingua di cui hanno bisogno

io: capisco, mi sembra giusto

[rad-and-sleepy]

Yo: porqué estás destruyendo la tierra!?!?

Extraterrestre: porque hay personas quienes creen que inglés es la única lengua que se tiene que hablar.

Yo: te entiendo, es justo.

[haxyr3]

Я: Почему вы уничтожаете Землю?!?! Инопланетяне: Потому что есть люди, которые считают, что им нужно говорить только по-английски. Я: А, ну понятно, тогда ладно!

[jenroses]

A modern Rosetta stone.

[pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird]

Tracking Service, as helpfully as possible: Your order is out for delivery! It should arrive by 8 PM today!

Me, sitting by the door at 8:12 AM: pakige

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

booty shorts that say “chernobyl” across the ass