Funny with a chance of not-so-funny

Pretty much just whatever i find funny. Every now and then some serious things that I feel the need to share

[outaspaceman]

Happy first birthday Knife-Wielding Tentacle..👍

[sinfulseeds-deactivated20200126]

dear god, it lives still

[midtown120blues-deactivated2018]

my goal is to be completely vaporized at disneyland so they cant take my body off the premises and pronounce me dead offsite

[themathomhouse]

or, bring your own team of doctors and paramedics to pronounce you dead as soon as it happens so they’re stuck with it

[midtown120blues-deactivated2018]

I love the visual of me striding into Disneyland all smug with a confused team of doctors

[pondwitch]

Sub-Zero: These frail mortals don’t stand a chance against me. I love winning tournaments, and I also love having my head and spine connected to the rest of my body.

Scorpion:

[kombatslut]

BITCH DELETE THIS

[pondwitch]

Scorpion: Sub-Zero is dead, and my clan has been avenged. Now my furious soul can finally know peace.

Kuai-Liang:

[lawfulgood]

[spidersonline]

I was in a group interview for a petsmart once, and this girl who had bullied me at our past job was there. We were all told to go around the circle and say why we wanted to work there. All of us sensible folks answered with generic interview stuff like “I love animals” and “I admire the help this company gives to shelters” and all that… then the bully spoke up.

I think of my life as having occurred in four parts. The first part closed with the revelation that songs on the radio are in fact pre recorded and the artists are not being summoned to the station with dark magic every time someone requests their song. The second divider was the first time I tasted custard pie. And the event that launched me here, into the most surreal and disjointed phase of my life, was this girl’s answer to the fateful question “why do you want to work at petsmart?”

And the answer

I shit you not…

“I have a reptile fetish.”

The silence after that statement… the hopelessness, the confusion, the despair in that silence, it fundamentally changed me as a human being. I witnessed cosmic justice at its darkest and its coldest. The universe is powerful, the universe is vengeful, and the universe is merciless.

[llatimeria]

(source)

[llatimeria]

i’d like to point out that when i made this post, all of these comments were at the top, but now if you look at the thread they’ve been replaced by completely different comments 

so please, for the love of god, look at the source link this thread is a neverending source of entertainment. people have added so much fucking shit since i made this

[greenandhazy]

I was proctoring an exam for a student today while reading these, and I had to stop because I got to this one and almost fucking died

[curlicuecal]

these are making my day

[curlicuecal]

Okay, this one’s killing me:

[yellowthirteen]

Sometimes VATS gives you information in unintended ways.

[theweirdwideweb]

[thecollectibles]

Art by Junggeun Yoon

[grawly]

[bob-belcher]

[dont-touch-my-juice]

[dont-touch-my-juice]

[skarchomp]

if you ever draw a skinny orc you are a coward and a bastard and god takes your name off the list of people who can go to heaven

[crystalspireking-deactivated201]

what if theyre Tolkien Orcs

[skarchomp]

i dont care how much pot they smoke orcs are still huge

[traitor]

DEAD

[awfulbear]

Fuck they murdered him

[starlightandtears]

I actually am so fascinated by the 180 Wendy’s has done with their social media etiquette. Like, who was the intern or entry level Social media person who slipped up and clapped back the first time? When the team realized that it made them more successful in terms of engagement and relevance, did the management team just go “You have permission to be an asshole within reason because memes”?

[deactivated-blog]

I once had a really scary nightmare I was being stalked and in it my dad came out to confront the thug, but my dads getting pretty old so he was being beaten up by this guy

And in a panicked haze my mind must’ve just been like ‘quick who’s someone you trust but is also super strong’

So then Wario just appears from behind a bush and beats the crap out of this guy.

And I think the best bit is stuff in dreams never seems weird so I was just watching it like ‘oh cool Wario saved my father, he’s such a good friend to the family’

[votlron]

[paper-mario-wiki]

𝕒𝕕𝕧𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕪

[a-single-lemon]

This is quite possibly the biggest mood imaginable

[yournewapartment]

@scarletnightwalker this is what America’s like