Wtf the writing so small. Anyway, I’m Em, I’m a Libra and I cry a lot. 24yr old professional fool. I’m cool guys I swear. I got they/them disorder🕷️🐊🫀🦷🍌💀
VIOLENCE AGAINST TRANS WOMEN IS VIOLENCE AGAINST ALL WOMEN.
i figured it’s about time (it’s been 87 years….) I introduced myself formally. So.
Sah dude🤘🏻
my names Em,
Im 26 years old
I play guitar and tuba, local non-binary sk8r boy but in reality im a walking Tub of glitter slime in a trench coat.
Im a multi-fando typa guy. If I’m in a particular mood I’ll scream about my interests with you or in respectful shit posting cringe.
Im an old man and I have no idea how to shake my ass for tumblr, but gosh golly darn. I’m doing my best.
And uh. Here are my favorite emoji’s. Y’know. If you even care. 🐊🌽🫀🕷️💀🍌🦷🤡🫂🪨🥄🛹🛼🎠🪣🪄🔨⚰️🚬🧬🩹🩻🤘🏻🫡
Some stuff I’m into:
Bleach
ATSV
What we do in the shadows
Metalocalypse
DCs green lantern and lobo
Fave songs:
Living dead girl by Rob zombie
Snot by snot
I hate the sound of car keys by kaonashi
Plastic Jesus by Tia Blake.
And a few more but this is getting too long and it’s makin me feel weird. And now that I’ve been this vulnerable on tumblr…I wanna know what we are🫣😳🫢
This is a safe space for bacon lettuce and tomatoes. You’re welcome to stick your fingers twixt the bars of my enclosure.
Since you’ve read this far, Feel free to ask questions but if you’re gross or uncomfortable or unkind I’ll crowd kill your genitals into the ground. And bully you.
Fandom: Love and Deepspace
Pairing: Sylus x Reader
Warnings: sexual tension, Sylus being a menace, nothing too explicit
Word Count: 735
Summary: A conversation about water.
Notes: "I don't even play this game," I mutter angrily to myself as I work through watching all of Sylus's videos on youtube.
AND YET. This bastard. Sigh. Anyway, here's a drabble, based on a line from his secret times Approaching Dusk. Hope you enjoy, comments give me life!
Read it on Ao3 here! (for registered users)
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"Well, if you get wet later, don't blame me."
The words are as teasing as ever, designed to make spots of heat bloom in your cheeks-and other places. And it works, because of course it does, though you do your best not to seem affected as you shoot back, "Oh, I will. Seems like almost every time I get wet without meaning to, it's your fault."
You brush past him, flicking on the light in the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water. "Oh really?" Your back is to him, so you miss the way his crimson eyes sharpen in interest, how they roam over your curves, sheathed in the burgundy silk nightdress he'd gifted you a while ago. "That's a bold claim, kitten. I hope you have something to back it up."
"Anecdotal evidence," you reply with a grin, turning back around. You take a sip of the water, then set it down to tick off on your fingers. "That time we were staking out those arms dealers in the back alley and it started raining. That time we got ambushed at that one hotel, in the pool area and you pushed me in to avoid the gunfire. That time you brought me as backup when you had business at the winery and it went south-do you know how many times I had to wash my hair to get the wine out?"
He can't help but laugh, stepping slowly toward you. "Probably as many as it took me. Still, seeing you dripping in cabernet is something I'll never forget. Now…" He stands before you, his hands bracing against the countertop by your hips, caging you in. "What about the times you get wet on purpose?" he whispers.
His voice skates over your nerves, and you wish that you'd kept the light off so that he couldn't see the way the small hairs on your neck raise up, the way goosebumps race down your arms. You clear your throat, eyes darting off to left so that you can't trace the path a drop of rainwater makes down his throat to disappear under the v-neck of his black shirt. "Don't know what that has to do with it."
"Oh, it's very important," he murmurs, leaning closer, but still just barely not touching you. His scent curls over your senses, his heat trying to draw you in. "Need something to compare it to…kitten."
He all but purrs your nickname, and you have to lock your body in order not to sway into him. You swallow thickly, your throat suddenly dry. "Well…well, I, um, I shower, of course."
"Of course." He turns his head, and the tip of his nose just barely skims the sensitive area behind your ear, where your hairline starts. You hear him inhale slowly.
You almost hit the floor.
"A-And…and I go swimming sometimes…when I have the free time," you breathe, trying and failing to keep your voice steady.
"Yeah?" His breath fans over your neck, warmth glazing your skin and leaving behind a coolness that makes you shiver. "And…?"
"And…what? That's it," you whisper.
He chuckles, low and sinful and you bite your cheek to keep from making noise at having it that close to your ear. "Lying's not nice, sweetie."
"What do you mean? I'm not-"
You cut off as he pulls back a little to stare right into your eyes. You just barely hold back a gasp to see his pupils so wide there's only a thin ring of red visible. "So you're telling me that you don't get absolutely soaked when you think about me?"
Oh, fuck, you think desperately. The sudden rasp in his voice should be illegal. Then again, he's the most wanted criminal on the planet, so he wouldn't care if it was. "Y-You can't just-no, of course not!" you splutter.
"Didn't I just say that lying's not nice?" He grins, satisfied with his torment, and presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth before pulling away. "You're so damn cute. I'm going to dry off. You should probably do the same." He walks out of the kitchen, sipping from a glass of water, and you turn to realize that he'd stolen yours.
You hear his laugh echo when you yell his name in frustration, and you know without a doubt that he's stolen much more than just your drink.
What game would you erase from your memory just to experience it for the first time again?
Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.
Hmmm. thats a tough one. I think it would have to be Mortal Kombat. any of the games really, i love MK and i think it'd be sick to specifically experience MKX
girls start bands to make bangers and have fun. boys start bands because theyre scared of the word “bisexual” and to get into intense psychosexual homoerotic partnerships with their bandmates for a decade plus
Nintendo hatedom is crazy because like wdym y’all think the switch 2 not having an OLED screen and having inflation pricing is the most anti consumer, discourse worthy thing they’ve ever done but peach’s VA finding out she got recasted the day Mario kart world launched isn’t worth raising hell over or talking about whatsoever???
I’m sorry to everyone who found out peach got recasted through a post of me venting my frustrations ;-;
She posted about it on her instagram and the people who make hating Nintendo their whole personality have not said a single word about it because they’re still stuck on the damn console not having an OLED screen and that pisses me off to no end
if you want to hate nintendo, hate them for forcing games preservation orgs to take down countless ROMs they have no intention of selling again, suing the creators of emulation software, threatening legal action against free fan projects for series they've long since abandoned that do not compete with any contemporary product. hate them for collaborating with the FBI to saddle an actual 51 year old human man with $14.5 million in debt that will be garnished from his wages for the rest of his life all because he helped make a fucking dongle that made switch piracy slightly easier. hate nintendo for their scummy mobile games and conservative values and bad labor conditions, not because you personally can't afford their stuff anymore.
like yeah, the switch 2 price tag is hilarious, the increased cost of their games is hilarious, the fact that they're charging ten bucks for a glorified user manual is hilarious and absolutely worthy of critique. but acting like this is either the first or the worst of their sins just makes you look like a gormless fanboy who would have no issues with nintendo if you were still able to afford their stupid overpriced toys, and who will go right back to having no issues the instant you can scrape together the funds to buy a switch 2. absolutely grow the fuck up.
should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*
I actually do feel like the "unemployed friend on a Tuesday" meme actually helps de-stigmatize unemployment because it frequently affirms that when you don't have a job you're more likely to be getting up to some weird shit rather than just lazing around. But I also feel like the unemployed friend is frequently up to some random shit because there's a whole pile of miscellaneous life tasks that full-time employment keeps people from. The unemployed friend is helping their cousin move, or babysitting, or checking in with a neighbor with mobility issues. The unemployed friend is a walking thesis on the inflexibility of our current labor landscape and just how much work exists outside of work.
you know. as a former un-employed friend (will be in the future who knows) this is incredibly thoughtful. when i was without a job for a long period of time, i felt guilty and useless. but i have yet to really think about my actions during that period of idle stand-by. how i handled being jobless. and looking back now, i regret being so hard on myself. thank you.
1. Never tell anyone what you're planning to do until you do it (you will get a premature dopamine hit and sense of accomplishment from telling them and lose motivation to actually do it)
It’s funny how sacabambaspis is like the funniest looking animal in every hypothetical except for that one picture that makes me feel like I’m about to be killed
so the gubment is releasing doccumented information about aliens again....i gotta say this is the best time to revive the 2019 area 51 group naruto run campaign. its time to gather them. the time is nigh.
I know this isn’t Bojack related, but recently instead of turning men down by saying “no, thank you”, I experimented with saying “I’m engaged” and flashing a ring instead.
Needless to say, I am not engaged. It still worked better than just saying “no”, but then came questions like “so where is your fiancé?” and “he let you go out by yourself looking like that?” or just remaining persistent in asking for my number.
So I went into my closet, and pulled out a fiancé.
Now when I turn men down and they need further proof, they can know that I would rather lug around a 5 foot tall plastic skeleton to Steak n Shake and fake a proposal than give them my number.
happy 6 year wedding anniversary to me! (i know I’m a day late, leave me be)
i don’t anticipate that anyone will read this now bc this site is dead and my followers are bots (not complaining, i love it), but for my own personal records I’m going to toss my feelings out here because it’s brought up some big ones.
i made the original post during a really fucking terrible time in my life. the pictures themselves were so much fun to take (credits to @spoochy), but outside of my very wonderful friends I was not in a good fucking place and I really felt like I was on the verge of ending it.
and then slowly shit got better, and this stupid skeleton has been here for all of it. I kept hanging on, I got a good job and then I got a better job and then I got an even better job. he’s has been at my desk for every one of them because all my bosses thought he was hilarious. i bought my dream car (a pink 93 mustang convertible - if anyone’s wondering) and he moved there because he’s a great passenger. slowly his arms and legs and ribs have fallen apart and I’ve given them to new friends and now to my stepkids (who say he’s their neglected step-step-dad). he was there in the backseat on my first date with my real husband. he rode with us on the way to our elopement. he was in the uhaul with us when we moved with our kids to Vermont. i had one of his hands in my purse in the hospital when i gave birth to my daughter. his head and spine (which are pretty much all that’s left of him) now sit at my desk, where I work from home. my baby frequently takes him and parades him around and gives him kisses and waves hi to him.
i don’t necessarily think he’s a “good luck” skeleton, but he is a constant reminder of a time that I was able to find some joy and whimsy during a very dark period of my life with people that I loved a lot, and that I was able to share that joy with a lot more people. his constant presence throughout the years has helped me remember that things get better.
if anyone did read this - i hope the takeaway is that shit really can get better. if you’re in a dark spot, find some joy where you can and share it with whoever you’ve got and keep pushing forward. i had no idea that i was a few major life changes away from something so beautiful, and i’m so fucking happy i stuck it out when i had nothing but hope and a few good people to cling to.
Idk how some of you mfs have multiple LADS accounts cause those hunter battles between story segments piss me the fuck OFF bro no way am I doing that multiple times between accounts. y’all gots patience, thats all imma say 🫡 fuckin Godspeed cuz.
