Story of my Life in 3D

[innerchildabortionclinic]

oh fuckkkk man not the SERIAL UNALIVER

[soul-hammered]

Hooray! Yay! Dykes!

[headspace-hotel]

I'm not seeing any naked adults in that screenshot...

...There's something deeply messed up about how breasts, which are used by our species to feed babies, are considered to be so perverse and obscene that a child should never see them.

[alexseanchai]

There aren't any naked people in the entire video clip. There's some people that you'd probably see less of their skin on a beach, but only because on a beach they'd probably be wearing a bikini top as well as whatever else they have on. And this is New York City, where toplessness is legal regardless of gender or assigned sex.

[vergess]

Toplessness for breasts is legal in most places in the US, unlegislated in almost all that remain, and only illegal in two states: Ohio and Tennessee.

This is because topless equality has been a basic push from feminists for literally decades, until Radfems and NeoCons bonded over wanting a trans genocide less than a decade ago.

Female Toplessness in the United States - Wikipedia

It's literally why the "no tits on tumblr" and other lesser SESTA/FOSTA consequences* like it were so jarring. It set back FORTY. YEARS. OF PROGRESS in the rights of people with breasts or perceived as women to wear the same clothes as people without.

Do not let conservatives lie to you about this. The majority of people in the us and the VAST majority of States recognize the right of people to not wear a damn shirt. It isn't obscenity, it isn't even nudity, it's just something pericis men are allowed that everyone else isn't.

Y'know.

Basic sexual discrimination.

*Y'all aren't still on that "it was the Apple app store that caused the tit ban" shit, right? It was the literal US federal government. To be fucking clear.

[threedollarsdotcom]

theyre taking me out back behind the shed presumably to give me a medal for my valor and heroism

[great-and-small]

The farmer’s tender-hearted son is crying he must be so proud of me

[cipheramnesia]

They're preparing a one gun salute!

[solarpunkarchivist-deactivated2]

Confession time; while I may have started making my girlfriend lunches purely because I love her there’s now a little bit of gay spite involved as well. I want the straight girls she works with to see what they’re missing and hold their men to higher standards.

[solarpunkarchivist-deactivated2]

Operation Gay Spite has claimed its first straight relationship! I’m not sure I’ve ever been prouder of anything in my life!

[the-very-gendered-queen]

If making lunch broke them up it was never a good one in the first place

[solarpunkarchivist-deactivated2]

He gets it.

[fandomhell97]

I’m genuinely curious how the lunches caused the breakup to happen, and I fully support the Gay Spite lunches

[looksmokin]

Literally since my bf saw this he’s started doing other things to model relationship goals for other guys. He’s always been lovely to me, but he’s made more of a point to show off the things we do for each other and raise people’s standards. He told his friend that we make dinner for each other every night and that guy went home and made his gf enchiladas. He posted about doing my laundry while I was at work (he does stuff like that all the time but usually isn’t public about it) and 2 other guys cleaned stuff up before their ladies came home.

Basically what I’m saying is that @solarpunkarchivist has started a chain reaction of straight people doing better and setting better examples and we appreciate it.

[gallusrostromegalus]

My dad has always sung to my mom on their birthday*, their anniversay, and the winter solstice because that’s her least favorite day of the year. He did this well before they got married, and he kept doing it after they started working in the same office building, walking over to her cubicle a few times a year with a dozen roses and singing a love song from broadway or an operetta. More often, he came over with a hot takeout lunch, or fresh salad or a dessert and would double-check who was picking me up today and what Mom wanted him to make for dinner if he was getting home first.

Some men gave him shit about doing that, bitching and moaning about “Maaaaaan you’re raising the bar!” or “Isn’t picking up the kids your wife’s job?” and so on.

But more men- many more men- came to him for advice. “Where did you learn to sing?” “My wife’s allergic to flowers and doesn’t like chocolate. What should I get her for her birthday?” “How did you get time off to pick up your kids early?” “I wanna do something nice for our anniversary, but it’s right before tax day and I never remember and I feel like an ass. How do you remember?” Net, he thinks setting a good example like that ended two relationships and saved five.

Setting a good example is a good idea to inspire people to realize they deserve better, but even better is that there are lots of people out there who want to do better and will glady take notes from you.

*they have the same birthday 4 years apart.

[robinnsblog]

COUNTERARGUMENT THEORY

I’ve seen people comment that Pomni’s torture scenario was kind of weak compared to the others, and that it could be because she hasn’t been in the circus as long, thus Caine can’t personalize her punishment as well.

And even if he’s technically using their traumas to hurt them, I don’t think that was his main intention. I think he was “replying” to their criticisms.

Pomni: We think your ideas suck!

Including Gummigoo, Pomni?

Zooble: Pathetic! You’re like a child! What kind of all-powerful being has such fragile ego?

How can someone, whose body perfectly encapsulates their mind and is fully customizable, not feel satisfied yet? How many options do you need? How vain can you be, Zooble?

First of all, I know that Zooble most likely suffers from dysphoria, and Caine focusing the torture scenario on that was a massive dick move on his part, especially when Zooble had shared their insecurities about their body in a previous episode.

However, in that same episode, Caine shared with Zooble his own insecurities.

Caine: Making adventures is my art! It’s all I exist to do! All I am… good at. (…) … w-what you’re saying could imply that I’m bad at the only thing I’m good at, and that…

I’m just saying that he probably took Zooble’s criticism as a low blow of its own and he made it personal.

Ragatha: You never let us feel like we’re at home.

Which home? Yours, Ragatha?

Gangle: You discourage us from thinking outside the box and doing things our way!

Spudsy’s was a hell of your own making, Gangle.

Jax: You lie to us constantly!

And you don’t, Jax?

[evilwizard]

Dude. DUDE. HUMPTY DUMPTY JUST FELL. YOU NEED TO SEE THIS ALL THE KINGS MEN ARE THERE TRYING TO GET HIM BACK TOGETHER. THIS IS SO FUCKED DUDE. IM SO SCARED. HE'S DEAD

🖐️ stand aside. only the court necromancer can save him now. we must pray his body isn’t too broken…

[evilwizard]

WTF are the horses doing

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

i don't fucking know i tried my best but i think we made it worse with our big hooves

[evilwizard]

WHY WERE YOU INVOLVED AT ALL ??

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

i don't knowwww *kicks in frustration and hits humpty dumpty again* fuckkkkkkk

[evilwizard]

STOP

[bellecs]

[ofgeography]

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY–

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

“i received the tv bill today,” my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. “does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?”

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)

my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)

my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)

me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

“don’t expose my kid to that crap.”

DON’T

EXPOSE

MY KID

TO THAT CRAP

“if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room.”

I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT

IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

are you fucking kidding

i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for

my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences

my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

are you fucking kidding

this is the best thing i’ve ever done

[autumnhobbit]

finally decided to sit down and watch the incredibles again. there will be no commentary because i’m gonna be too busy watching it

[autumnhobbit]

okay i just gotta say

having been married for 3 years now (almost), i really love how bob & helen argue. when i was a kid it just came off to me that everyone in this movie was being super mean for no reason but when you watch it as an adult it’s different. i really appreciate that even when bob is frustrated/angry he basically never lashes out at helen or the kids, his problem is he’s withdrawn and existantialling. i also really appreciate that when they do fight they’re actually more expressing their frustration than attacking each other. it’s only later when things get real that helen (understandably) gets really angry.

[autumnhobbit]

also edna’s advice is actually really good, helen’s just melting down over the idea of losing her husband (which is sweet and helps us understand her character) but edna tells her to confront it immediately, hold bob to account by leaning into his concern (all his heroics being forgotten) and reminding him that she’s a super, too. direct action is a blessing in communication.

[autumnhobbit]

i love how the movie communicates bob’s competency, like he’s actually handling all the twists and turns of the situation rapidly deteriorating very well, the only thing that throws him off is when his family gets involved. we also see helen’s competency in the plane scene and how she immediately knows something’s up when no one responds on the radio

[autumnhobbit]

syndrome is such a fucking good villain, saying ‘i seem to recall you prefer to work alone’ and laughing at him when he believes he’s murdered the guy’s wife and kids???? holy fuck

as previously mentioned bob breaking down and sobbing alone in the containment room shaped my personality

[autumnhobbit]

ah the good old days of 2004 when having a voluptuous mom ass was a bad thing. good riddance, we don’t miss you.

also the it’s a neat little parallel to bob’s body image struggles, they really went to great lengths to showcase that these people are equals & soulmates

[autumnhobbit]

the kids are really well-written too, they feel very authentically their age and they both have motivations, the writing does a great job of showing how the gravity of the situation sinks in for them and forces them to rise to meet it. dash especially fascinates me in this movie because he’s just the right balance between immature and starting, just starting to get that life is a big deal and stakes are real and you’ve got to care about what you’re doing and try to do the right thing in every situation. the way the kids instinctively protect each other even though all we’ve seen of them so far in the movie is antagonism is just *clenches fist* so good

[that-catholic-shinobi]

The Incredibles is incredible on every level

[ave-aria]

I appreciate the "there will be no commentary because i’m gonna be too busy watching it" followed by 8 of the truest takes on the movie, respect.

[the-rainbow-of-doom]

once upon a time you boarded a train to go somewhere BY YOURSELF for the first time! Where were you going?

I never enjoyed going to school, but on one particularly desperate day I did a huge detour on my way to school and ended up at the station. And when a train arrived, I boarded, found myself an empty compartment, hid under the row of these old voluminous seats what where still commonplace in some trains in the 90s and fell asleep. Only later an old lady woke me up. Concerned at first, but understanding for my situation. She hated school herself. So we talked. Her melody was soft, her vowels long. I spoke about our garden, the hazelnut tree, fossils, art. She spoke about thin pancakes with apricot jam, a big flat and lukewarm lake, the war, the dictator, the walk through a forest to get away, vienna and about a cold soup, made from cherry juice and spices.

One time, a man came to check for tickets. She said I'm hers. Another time someone asked for a paper with our photos on it. The train was standing still. They let me pass because I was a child. We arrived in a town that's named like a sausage and boarded a train that was dark blue. Again someone came to see tickets. She spoke a language I didn't understand. Again the train stopped and someone came to see papers. I don't know what they said. We arrived in a station much bigger than the one in my hometown. The lanterns were decorated, the station was white marble, brown stone with fossils and black glass. The town much bigger than my own. There were trains underground. With light blue interior, beautiful lamps, a man speaking and the doors shutting. We changed trains, still underground, and they had pink interior, the same beautiful lamps, a woman speaking, the same sudden shutting of the doors. The third line we took looked very different. The stations had tiles, white and brown. And wooden doors on the walls. Yellow trains that were very loud. The first underground station we had entered via a huge long escalator that was scary and fast. To leave the last station, it took only one flight of stairs.

The houses were big, dark and beautiful. The street straight and very long. We walked. The lady pointed at houses and said what they are. The opera had wooden cobblestones in front. We arrived at a square, full of cars and noise, the square was octagonal. The houses so big, so beautiful. The town much bigger than my hometown. We turned left, walked a little more, she took her keys and opened a door. A corridor, cables, brittle plaster. The courtyard was all balconies to all sides, the railing full of detail. We walked up the stairs, she pointed at round and irregular holes in the plaster. She spoke about traces of a bad time. And a radio station. And an uprise. And guns that made these holes. And her walk through the forest to vienna. Her apartment was small, her canapé beautiful. I laid down, I slept. I woke up. There were men that looked important. There was one man, normally dressed. I knew him. And his wife, I knew her too. She hated liquorice, that I remembered. He liked museums, that too I remembered. They were friends of my parents, but living far from my hometown. And they spoke to me in my language. Being angry, being happy. We sat at the table and the lady brought bowls. A soup, dark red, cherry and orange peels swimming there. I ate quickly. It was cold. Spiced like christmas cookies. And very necessary. I had another bowl. We went out. It was day, it was sunny. The houses were still dark, but very beautiful. Sometimes the lady or the man or his wife would point at a house and say it's name. Café New York indeed had a tower. The bridge had lions and chains. The old palace had copper coloured windows. The river was much wider than the river in my hometown. But the restaurant was small, like it could have been in my hometown. We sat at the window, looked over the river in a house that was bigger than anything else. And had a big red dome. On my plate were pancakes. Very thin indeed, rolled together. They tasted like apricot and summer. We walked, I talked about school, about the forest in my hometown, about fossils and my favourite hazelnut tree. We didn't see the octagonal square, but we arrived at the lady's house nonetheless. There waiting was my dad. He talked with anger and with joy. And held me very long. I sat on the beautiful canapé and the adults discussed their topics. My dad took me to a station. It was very big, bigger than the one in my hometown. He pointed at the ceiling, talked about a tower in Paris, I didn't get what he meant. The microphones played a melody that I fell in love with. We boarded a train, it was dark blue. Out the window the town started to move. Alongside the rails were concrete railings, white and beautiful. In a town that was named like sausage we changed to another train. It was red. And the landscapes looked different. And after hours they looked familiar. At one platform my family was waiting. My mum seemed angry and happy at the same time. My hometown looked much smaller than before. Even my hazelnut tree looked different. And then I had to do homework for school. So maybe, in the end, nothing was different.

Well and that's how one time I boarded a train just by myself.

[helenvaughans]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[squishmelo]

This is the folk music version of that LAN party where they duct taped a guy to the ceiling.

[biggaynerdsrus]

Fiddler in the roof

[biggaynerdsrus]

Been dreaming about being a buff gym bro who knows all the pokemon and lifts girls high up by the waste to catch spiders for me to let outside and gives wise advice about life to people and has thick but tidy facial hair but none of that means anything right

[grandpayaoi]

new rule you have to live to be 34. you cant kill yourself until you turn 34. jesus died at 33 you can do better

[grandpayaoi]

this is a common law btw. you can check it out by looking up 'rule 34'

[nadianotapplicable]

cup check. take all cups in your home and put them in your room. put them in your bedroom. put all of them in your room where you sleep. put them near your bed where you sleep. all of them

[parkchanwoohoo]

[prescription-cactus]

what is your eye color. what is your favorite color. what is the color that appears most frequently in your wardrobe. what color is your favorite blanket. what color is your water bottle.

[clovdyhi]

What’s your favorite flower?

Orchid

Lily

Tulip

Sunflower

Daisy

Lavender

Poppy

Carnation

Rose

Other (tell me in the tags)

Voting ended onMar 13, 2023