Mallard

Memes, dashcon stan account Anime/manga blog is @ducksbigdumbanimeblog

[timberwind]

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

[pocketdogs]

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

[moth-moth-the-magic-moth]

#MyFly

[moldspace]

trinket holder hengelings for all your little objects

[lucydacusgirl]

Oh no job for me thanks I just wanted to fill out this really long and condescending job application for you☺️

[twinktorturer]

the most sexual emotion a man can feel is fear

[browsingfreakshit]

Now why would Tumblr user twinktorturer say something like this

[progressivemillennial]

“If I have one message to give to the secular American people, it’s that the world is not divided into countries. The world is not divided between East and West. You are American, I am Iranian, we don’t know each other, but we talk together and we understand each other perfectly. The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same.”

― Marjane Satrapi, Iranian graphic novelist

[wordfather]

i know a lot of people have been very very hot lately but no worries found a solution and i . watered the sun

youre welcome guys

[wordfather]

guyssssss dont worry that it suddenly got reeeeeeeally dark ive got my best men on it😁

[wordfather]

hey guys so how mad would you be if i accidentally started an apocalypse just a reminder this is what i look like;

are you mad at me

[wordmother]

Can we get a divorce

[wordfather]

:(

[shamebats]

Oh come on lady, you can't deny a man his gaycation

[shamebats]

You must surrender yourself mind, body and soul to the gaycation or be destroyed

[shamebats]

Someone on reddit already suggested a sapphibbatical

[the-haiku-bot]

Someone on reddit

already suggested a

sapphibbatical

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[mechanica1-hands]

how could you leave out the best part—the aquarium bit

[shamebats]

"become a fish" (gay)

[ladyananas]

men will jump through an entire circus' worth of hoops rather than admitting they're bi

[helpless--romantics]

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

The level of mental hoops that guy had to jump through to say to his wife, "No, honey! Of course I wouldn't be cheating on you! Sex during gaycations doesn't count!"

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

Holy fucking shit! It gets trippier!

I mean, I feel horrible for the OP and her SIL...but "surrender to the gaycation" made me laugh way more than I should have.

[emilynyaaa]

this is an insane story

[flickering-leaves]

“Some men never return”

Helpppppp 😭

[brightlotusmoon]

[harperhug]

Um…here’s the reddit link? I’m speechless.

[handageddon]

Don't worry honey, all the other men on gaycation aren't real people and they stop existing after. Hey, where's all the homophoboa coming from suddenly?

[mananabuffins]

That's the beauty of the gaycation!

[authoratmidnight]

It get wilder. I only found out about this b/c of a youtube video reading the Gaycation post but, this isn't even the first one.

7 years ago someone posted this-

And 5 years a different user posted this-

What is happening with these people??? What weird ass cult did they find??

[catboy-artist]

I read the shithead guy’s rambling in Nagito Komaeda’s voice

[mlembug]

"some men never return because they're "totally feminized" into the state of permanent "pseudo-gayness"" is my favourite line out of the entire post

[pmamtraveller]

Fish-shaped interlocking paving stones.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

"the ground trembels with my every step. I have installed my floorboards incorrectly."

oh i've done this one as a full commission!

[pukicho]

No it's fine. Tumblr, Upload anyway.

[the-big-mood]

[miiilowo]

tumblr is great because no matter how many followers i get it doesn't stop me from being really fucking annoying. other places i will perhaps think before i post. Not here. not here

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

Babe we NEED pics of your rubber cuck collection

so actually ☝what i collect is DUCKS

[raayllum]

i love it when characters are unfair, actually. i love it when they’re uncouth and cranky and hypocritical, i love it when they have cognitive dissonances, i love it when they make good and bad choices for the wrong reasons. i love when they’re short to anger and hard to understand. i love it when they’ve destroyed themselves for nothing but can’t even see either part of it yet. i love it when they’re messy and selfish and bad at communicating. i love it when they get convinced of their own ego and stuck in a feedback loop regarding their own warped paranoia. i love it when characters actively make their lives unknowingly harder for themselves. i love it when characters don’t know they’re in a story. i love it when characters are like real people

[wolvesintheflowers-deactivated2]

I laughed to hard at this fucking thing.

[nattousan]

[drtrinitysantos]

fork found in kitchen. me also found in kitchen that's how I found the fork